He so wants her. and in a way I want him to find a way to win her and prove himself to be the man he could be and once was. Redemption is never a easy road especially when a woman is involved.


Author's Response: Very very true. In real life, we don't forgive so easily! Thanks for the review!

Just got a email from bloodydoit you had made a update and was really excited cause I really love this story. Spike keeps seeking her out even when he realizes she thinks he killed Amy. I realize the boy has more then screwed up with Buffy but I still have hope for these two now that he sees how she must see him. I'm starting to wonder with Buffys past if she needs to be so unhappy or a victim cause that is all she is used to from her relationships with men? With her training with Spike and his skills at bettering Angelus and her coming into her own more as a person i hope she loses some of these Dawn like reactions. All in all Buffy is a survivor and you begin to see in tiny parts how she fights herself to keep Spike in the same box if just being a monster I think she is afraid to allow herself to see his current actions with her or to even consider his motivations behing them. For if she did she'd have to face her own emotions.

Excellent new chapter


Author's Response: "she fights herself to keep Spike in the same box if just being a monster I think she is afraid to allow herself to see his current actions with her or to even consider his motivations behing them." Yes :) Thanks for reviewing!

A friend of mine turned me on to this story and I really like it. Lately there seems to be a spin on Spike being more like Buffy and Buffy being more like Spike. You can see him trying to reach out to her on another level and her just wanting sex with no arrachment from him at all. I liked the section You know it’s not what you want cause I'm not even sure Buffy knows what she wants anymore, sex seems to become sort of the weapon of choice with her and she is so much more. I'm waiting to see how thisgame of hers plays out with Spike cause unless your made of stone it's near impossible to try to let another person get close to you without having any feelings towards them.
I really like reading your work it has so many plots and under currents to it can't wait to see more soon.

Author's Response: I'm glad they turned you to it and that you like it! And I would agree with you, she doesn't really know what she wants. Thanks for reviewing!

The small pat of Angel in this really creeped me out I hope Cordy kills him before he gets to Buffy.
I always love your updates hope to see more of you soon.


Author's Response: Lol, it creeped me out writing it :X Thanks for the review!

Hey this update must have just sneaked in without me seeing it. Poor Buffy she has become so jaded in all of this maybe with her trying to get Spike to follow along with her something might change.

Author's Response: Jaded is right - she needs a bit more to change her mind about him. Thanks for the review!

I have notied how much Spike has softened toward Buffy. When they are together, he doesn't hide behind his bluster anymore. But....What is Buffy up to? I have a feeling she is going to get herself into a mess trying to get away from Spike. *hope not*

Amy's death has Dru written all over it..ordered by Angel of course.*broken fingernail* Btw..I have a feeling that Angel is going to try to make his move on Buffy soon. Hope that Spike is ready for it...or at least Buffy is ready for it! Glad to see ya back with an update...Thanks for sticking with this story and not abandoning it. It's just to good not to finish : D

Author's Response: No abandoning here :) THanks for the review!

I happened to like this chapter - I don't know what you're talking about, missy. I liked the dialogue and whatnot between Buffy and Spike because it reinforces the fact that they're still in a gray area. Just look out for some punctuation errors throughout this chapter, many of which involve using " - " or around dialogue. Excellent update!

Author's Response: Thanks Alli! And Jessica told me if I have a - that I cant have a comma or three dots because it's either or. I don't know what to think!

glad to see an update. I wish for both of them to find a way out from this nightmare.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review :)

yay! an update!
very much worth the wait.
update soon!

Author's Response: Thanks!

You've upped the tension between them. It's palpable, but not obvious to Spike, as to why. He feels that she is just reacting to recent events, whereas for her it is all that and more, for now she has resolve, she knows what she wants and how she wants to achieve it ..... and yet. Neither seems to react to the other, as expected. The dynamics have changed, slightly, if only to each other; as yet, Spike is still the boss man and she is his girl, his property. Buffy thinks differently and so does Spike, though it is only in the push and pull of their private conversation that this is obvious. They are reaching a point where Spike and Buffy will become something, or it will all fall down. Outside influences are going to force the issue: Angelus.

Your story is demanding and convuluted and utterly capitivating.

Author's Response: I'm looking forward to writing the breaking point, for either of them :) Thanks for the lovely compliment!

whoa! good chapter...Spike's clearly having a change of heart and his past actions seem to be finally catching up with him and giving him a dose of guilt...I'm curious as to how exactely Buffy is planning on breaking free, because the way I see it, that at this point Spike isn't going to just let her go even if she does manage to escape...the chances are he hunt her down...great chapter, great story, keep going...please

Author's Response: I will keep going, I promise. Thanks for the review!

*breathes as massive sigh of relief, then WHOOPS with delight!*

You're Muse is back and you've written another chapter! Go pj! I do hope that it's not a reflection of your current state of mind though, pet.

Very psychologically dark, isn't it?

Spike's at a dead end where fixing his relationship with Buffy is concerned. Not just because there's some clever insider dealing going on, but because he only has one way of dealing with things. He can't see/think outside of the box, can he?

Buffy's got to keep focussed on the fact that she's being loved and protected by a rapist and killer, first and foremost... a man who might possibly be in love with her, second.

Scary times. And, who does that fingernail belong to? I'd thought it was going to be Cordy, but she was at the fight... that leaves Faith, or Darla... but the gand were thinking someone from Angel's gang, weren't they... hmmmm?

We need more info, STAT! Please....

Author's Response: It was supposed to get dark but my mood when I wrote the past few chapters was sick of the dark and turned it into semi-fluff, lol. Perhaps one day I'll go back and make the transitions smoother...Thanks for the review, and I'll try to have more asap.