Buffy's been a victim since she was five years old, it's not going to be easy to see her self-worth instead of self-loathing. Spike's not ready to be her knight in shining amour, not yet. Damn, missed Real Time, hope my DVR recorded it.

Author's Response: RT should be repeated on HBO I hope. Yeah, Buffy is getting more and more sympathy... until she just explodes with it.

wow just read all 13 chapters, cant wait for the next one.

Author's Response: Yay, someone new to the fic. New people is always a good thing. Thanks for commenting.

more please :)

Author's Response: More cake in the way. Extra icing this time.

Author's Response: More cake on the way. Extra icing this time.

Ah Brave New World. I swear that was the ONLY book in high school I was actually thrilled to read. Tell you a secret? I actually kept the book, didn't bother buying my own copy. I know, I know, color me a felon right? Heh, well, whatever. That book is freaking awesome, but the funny part? I still haven't read the last two pages. No clue why, I just pick it up, find the page, then set it back down. Don't worry, I'm not gonna psychoanalyze myself and my reading habits to you. ;)

1984, I'm sad to say I haven't gotten a chance to read yet, not to say I haven't wanted to though. And oddly enough, other people keep telling me specifically to read that book. Usually after I say... something (not sure what), but I'll say something and they tell me "Oh you HAVE to read this book." Hopefully it'll happen someday.

And what is it exactly about your story that makes me leave these long reviews? Eh, it's exercise for my fingers I guess. ;)

I hope you can at least read between the lines here and determine that I love this story. As dark as it is, it's also very real. Not to mock other stories or anything, but where other stories might have Spike just say "To hell with it! I love you Buffy let's go have lots of babies and live happily ever after." (Please shoot me if that becomes a direct quote in a story...) You don't do that. Spike went through hell and he really shouldn't just say to hell with it. And as much as Buffy is going through hell as well, she needs to understand that that is no excuse to rip apart other people to lessen your pain (or for whatever reason).

Well anyway, my plan was not to write a mini novel, so I'll cut this off. Just want to say I appreciate this story. Keep it up! =)

Author's Response: Hahaha, I do the EXACT same thing. If it's a book I like, I'll just keep the darn thing. I've done it a few times every school year. >_> Kind of like stealing from the poor. >_< And what you said, about not reading the last two pages... I think everyone feels that when it's something really good. For instance, I haven't watched some of the first season Angel stuff with Buffy on (I Will Remember You and Five By Five, I think). I just never want it to end, and that little ambiguity will always mean there is something left that I haven't explored in this great Buffy universe. I dunno. Maybe I'm just weird too. And 1984, yes, you absolutely MUST read that book. Go to Amazon and order it or something. You'll be thanking me for years for forcing you to read it. It's a masterpiece. And the last thing, about Spike whimsically dropping everything and being with Buffy... yeah, I hate that, too. It's just not realistic. Things fall apart. Things go bad. Tragedy happens a hell of a lot more than true love. People can hold onto hate for a long time. I don't want to have Spike just say "to hell with it" ever in this story. He'll only truly be able to be with her when he feels they are both even. Which could be a hell of a long time away. Thanks for commenting; I always love to read what you write.

First I wasn't going to read this story because the summary gave the impression of just another high school fic. So far, I'm amazed. I love how you've put Spike's geeky knowledge to good use in the fic. Especially the last scene with the connection between poetry and real life was amazing! It works, because at the same time you know how to build a story. Buffy's emotions came through especially well. These references to literature would be reallly awful, if they were the only good thing about the fiction. I think your story is a good example of how one should first master the basic skills of fiction writing before adding this... I don't know how to describe it, but I'll just say "extra stuff". You know what I mean! :) Well, you've done that and the result is fascinating.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Probably the first time someone's commented me on my writing. ^_^ I would love you forever and ever if you wrote something as great as this every chapter. Made my day. And I don't consider the stuff "geeky" (poetry and stuff) but that may just be me. :)

Haven't lost me. Good chapter - although it's not happy stuff is is?

Author's Response: Trying not to be happy, but I'm not so good at writing Spike as a bad person. I just don't want to do it. :( Thanks for commenting.

good update

Author's Response: Thank you.