How could things get worse that this? lol

Author's Response: They can... and they will... *shifty eyes look*

Their relation is getting even more weird... using each other.

Author's Response: Yes. Not very original, granted, but it's the way I went with the story.

Me gusto another chapter por favor!!!! I really want to know what's going to happen. The angst is really on in this story. Please update soon!!

Author's Response: Something... more angsty? :D I can't really say... *strokes chin philosophically* between the angst and the darker angst and the destructive angst... it's such a tough choice. :( Thanks for commenting!

For the record: no, I'm not trying to get you to stop writing, so the overly-dramatic response isn't really necessary. And your response didn't offend me, but it did bolster some of my earlier impressions of you. You show signs of being a good writer, and I think you'll be even better in the future once you've gotten some things out of your system. My comment may have been harsh, but it wasn't meant to break your spirit.

And also for the record: I never said that I either agreed or disagreed with any of the opinions you've expressed in your fic. In fact, I do agree with you about many of the flaws in the current educational system and method of standardized testing. And I'm certainly not looking for a story where high school is treated like some kind of candyland, so you don't have to defend yourself to me on that account.

See, here's the thing: I'm more interested in the story you're trying to tell than in your feelings about high school, and my comments are entirely about the mechanics of writing, and not about your opinions. My complaint about your self-insertion into Spike is because it doesn't come across as organic to the character. Yes, I would agree that Spike (as a high school student) could very believably have a very strong misanthropic, anti-authoritarian streak. But my problem is that, at certain points in the story, I stop hearing Spike and Buffy and start hearing *you*, and that's what's distracting. I don't want to hear you - I want to hear the characters. When I read the paragraph about studying for the SATs, what I'm reading is, "Oh, here are the author's thoughts one how stupid the SATs are." It's certainly okay to have your own strong opinions about these kinds of things, but you've expressed them in such a way that takes the reader out of the story.

Hey, I think you've got some writing talent, but you've also got a lot of room for improvement. (Everyone does, so I'm not singling you out here.) Most importantly, before anything else, I think you need to separate yourself a bit from your story. You're passionate about it, which is good, but passion does not equal good writing, and I think it's hurting your ability to judge your story objectively.

Author's Response: Thank you very much for that; you've cleared quite a few things up. I completely get what you're saying now, especially with the example of the SAT paragraph. The narrator (aka me) is way too biased and digresses too much in the story, and that makes craggy bumps in the road that take away greatly from the story. In the future, I'll either cut stuff like that or put it in some character's POV. From your first post (specifically the third paragraph), I falsely gathered that you hated everything about the story and that you were attacking me personally (through Spike's inserts), but I see now that you're only trying to help me. You're third and fourth paragraphs in this review are particularly insightful, and I'll take them to heart. I knew I was doing something wrong; I just didn't see it because I'm a self-absorbed reviser. ;) And that's exactly what you meant when you said that I'm not able to judge the story objectively because I'm so tied up in it. What still irks me is some of the stuff you said in the third paragraph of your first post, specifically about not being able to sympathize with anyone and Spike as "repulsive" and the "least likable character you've ever read." I responded to that (I think) but you didn't respond to my response... and yeah, I guess I *was* kinda dramatic in that response, the words just flowed out of me. Blame the slew Malcolm X speeches I watched on Youtube this morning, heh. Again, thank you kindly for your review, it was very insightful. If you have anything else that you find detractive in the story, either opinion or mechanic, please do not hesitate to state it. I promise I won't bite this time. ;)

that's okay about your long answer. You are just passionate about it. Never was a Bangel fan. Just seem too high school and a fairy tale type love for me. But season two was my second favorite season.

Guess what my favorite one is. A season where there is a lot of angst. Season six is. So, see I don't mind some angst. Although, it does help that Spike was nude a lot in that season. Naked Spike.........yummy. I'm sorry I think I'm starting to drool all over my keyboard. Lips of Spike...Spike lips.......so perfect.

But I like season six so much because there were a lot of human emotions in it. Plus, I was going through a lot when that season came out. So it helped me deal with my problems a lot.

Author's Response: Hehe, I watched all seven seasons Buffy when I was dealing with my problems, so I kind of attribute the show to helping me find my way. And you can have you're Spike words of lust so long as I can have my SMG words of lust. ;) No "best" season for me, they are all wonderful. It was originally 2 and then it was 6 for a while, but I've figured out that choosing a best season on Buffy is impossible. I dunno, I'm still kind of partial to 2 because it has the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet and the laugh out loud comedy and badass Spike and the last of Buffy being happy. Because, really, Buffy is _NEVER_ (!!) happy again after Surprise/Innocence, and that probably contributes to the ending frame of Chosen being so great. Again, I'm babbling. :(

okay umm thanks for updating.
I think what Spike is doing to Buffy is worse than what she did to him all those years because spike knows what Buffy wants and he is using it against her.

Author's Response: Yep, he knows what she wants and uses it against her. It's terrible. :( Thanks for commenting.

I am writing some stories that I think it is different. Like I'm in the process of writing a Mrs. Robinson type story. Where Buffy is a single mother and Spike is her teen babysitter. Spike is also the son of Buffy's best friend. I love older Buffy and younger Spike. But don't see that many out there. There are a couple of more that I have in mind but we will see.

I don't mind a little angst. I'm not the type who likes a lot of angst where Buffy and Spike just keep abusing each other. So I try to stay away from those stories. My life is already depressing enough to read those stories that have angst in almost every chapter. A little angst and of course I love the fluffy stories. hehe......

As for the show. I separate stories based on the show and AU stories. Yes, Buffy is the one who was abusing Spike on the show. But look at what they had Spike do. He slept with one on her friends and he tried to rape buffy. So Spike again looks more bad.

So yeah, this story just isn't for me. IF is just to make Spike look like a dick chapter after chapter. That is why I tend to stay away for high school stories. But this story is different just not what I was looking for.

Keep up the good work. You are a good writer.

Author's Response: Yeah... I guess this isn't the best story if you don't like angst. The end of the abuse is near, so you may wanna stick around a bit longer to see if the stuff after the angst is appealing. It's not gonna be complete surreal fluff, mind you, but it'll definitely be satisfying if you've read since the beginning. As for Spike canon, this might be sick and demented, but I always considered the rape and sex with Anya completely justified because of the way Buffy treated Spike. Probably the only time in my entire life I'll ever consider rape justified, and you can question my character all you like, but that was a pivotal point in Buffy's life. She was on a downward spiral, probably would have committed suicide or gotten killed by some random vampire, and Spike rekindled her spirit. He put the spark back in her, made her at least hate someone besides herself, her life, her family, and her friends. I'm probably just a sick bastard, though, and I probably just justify everything Spike does on the show too much. The story idea you have seems wonderful, wish I thought of something like that. Thank you for responding to my responses, it's much appreciated. =]

looking forward to the next chapter

Author's Response: Thank you. Words of encouragement like this give me motivation to write, so keep 'em coming! :D

No, you are getting me wrong. I don't want to see any more stories where we feel sorry for Buffy.

It seems like everybody forgets what Buffy did to Spike because of the way you wrote Buffy coming from a bad home life and Spike being an ass.

I hate a lot of high school stories like this. I mean I thought it was going to the other way. I thought Buffy was going to the dick in this story and Spike the non-dick. Spike doesn't have to be sweet all of the time. but i'm just tired of seeing most high school stories making spike the dick especially when he was the one treated wrong in the first place.

Now it is all about feeling sorry for Buffy once again like most stories and making spike the dick and crawling back to buffy at the end.

Author's Response: I guess I need to read more Spuffy fanfics, because I thought I was being original, at least partially, in having Spike and Buffy both be bad guys. I don't feel sorry for Buffy in most stories; I thought most stories were post-chosens where Buffy's the bad guy for what she did on the show. Heck, it can be argued that Buffy _was_ the bad guy in the canon relationship. I'm sorry if this story isn't up to par for you and unoriginal and just too angsty... I'm writing what I want to write, and it does have a point, and I hope it isn't cliche, and I hope that you can grow to like it. Thanks for commenting.

Weird, my review was cut in half?!
Anyway, I quoted the sentence that ruffled my feathers most, because that, most definetly, isn´t love.
When you have that moment of truth where you look behind the mask and see nothing but pain, and you realize, that the other suffers just as badly as you do, all the need for revenge and the hate is sucked right out of you. In the void that remains, there is nothing but the need to end all the suffering, and you search for a way to do it. You don´t want to add to it, not for yourself, not for the other.
That Spike would abuse Buffy that way after he saw the pain behind the mask, makes him the evil one in this story, and proves to me, that what he felt wasn´t love. Love is something else.... The only apology that might apply is the age of those two in this story, but maybe then it wasn´t right to label it LOVE in the first place. Looking forward to your attempt to disentangle this web...

Author's Response: I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. I touched up on the "not love" thing out on the roof a few chapters back. It was suppose to be an epiphany, but you made it seem easy. :) I can see the "not add to the hate" observation, but you have to realize that we are all self-centered human beings and only care about ourselves. That's the basis of the American Government and what the enlightenment thinkers, including John Locke, believed, anyway. We've been stupidly fighting each other since the beginning of time, from the first remnants of civilization being a wall that kept people out to the Civil War to Hiroshima to Vietnam and probably a million wars of hate after that. I never ever called it love, maybe from Spike's demented POV, but I most certainly do not believe this is love or was ever love. That might be a shocker for a Spuffy fic, but love and obsession never mix. I want Spike to love the real Buffy, the Buffy behind the mask, not the Buffy he obsessed after for years. I want Spike to love the Buffy that gets his little music and poetry references, that uses a big vocabulary, that plays video games and watches Dawson's Creek with him, that has the same observations on school and life as him, that's hurt from her past... the Buffy that's a strong and capable and intelligent person. It was never my intention to have Spike love the obsession. Thanks for reviewing.

Oh I loved it.

Yes what Spike is doing is wrong, they are also what 16/17 years old. It what kids do, yes it is not right but as someone that was picked on all her life in school I can see where Spike is coming from.

Buffy's life is not good and therefore she doesn't really know to stand up and defend herself, she is also looking at it as attention and payback for what she did all thoughs years to Spike.

If Buffy had a better home life then maybe, it would be different and she would have someone to tell. But who would want to tell there friends that someone you came to sort of trust is actually forcing you to do things to him sexually.

I don't condone this behavior but it is what happens I have been thru it and am sure teens everywhere are going thru it as awell.

Now Spike was wrong in what he did, but he might not have done it either if Angel would have been around or if his parents where around to keep him grounded, Spike too needs a better home life his parents are not there and he lives alone, his only friend deserted him for something he didn't like.

I really don't see it getting better untill one of them gets aback bone or Spike gets something he is missing back. He looks up to Angel and he needs that with not having his parents around.

I am truly looking forward to the next chapter to see what happens.

I love the story and the other one that you seemed to stop writting. Sorry for analizing the chapter the way I see it.

More please.

Author's Response: I love it when people analyze my chapters, so there's nothing to be sorry about. :) Everything you said pretty much rings true in the story, especially the lack of family and friends to ground both of them. Spike's lost - he has no family and no friends and an infamous reputation. Buffy's been neglected all her life and will jump at any opportunity for affection, even it means her getting down and dirty. Thank you very much for reviewing.

I think the problem is that we havent read so much about the way Buffy treated Spike in the past, just in sort of loose terms, while the way Spike is using Buffy is very clearly, still love it though.

Author's Response: I agree, and that's my fault for not having enough flashbacks. I thought it was implied decent enough, at least in the summary and first chapters, but I might just need to get in there and really show the past cruelty. Thanks for still loving it. :)