Ok, that chapter was very confusing, so I don't really know what to say about it. But I have seen Donnie Darko, and have to say that it really is a good movie, not to mention Jake Gylenhaal is a real cutie. So I guess I'll be waiting on your next chapter to give me insight to just what the hell happened in this one. Please don't take this as a bad review, I just didn't understand it all that much, maybe I'm just not that smart.

Author's Response: It was meant to be confusing, so no worries. I just wanted to get across that Spike was crazy because he was disgusted with himself. Donnie Darko is awesome. ;) Thanks for reviewing.

Holy wow, check this out. I'm reviewing! How's that for cool? =)

I completely love Paint it Black. It's on my iPod. Which is what? Proof that I love? Not a clue. But it's there and I listen to it on my way to work. So you still have a kick ass taste in music. ;)

As for Donnie Darko, I've been told way too many times to watch that movie and I never have. Not sure why. But since I technically own it (as in it belongs to my roomie) I should watch it. I think it was the whole giant bunny bit that kinda weirded me out. I'll have to see about that.

Really freaking good chapter. I'm guessing Spike is regressing as some sort of self-preservation technique. Like his brain went "Oh crap, not good,let's try this again." Then again, I may just be over-analyzing... again. I do that a lot.

Is it odd that I read this chapter and proceeded to get Come As You Are stuck in my head? Most likely.

I'm completely insane. You shouldn't listen to my ramblings. Except when I'm telling you that this is a freaking awesome story that is very well written. And it puts my witty banter to shame. Kudos.

Author's Response: Thank you so much, jin. You're truly an awesome person, always motivating me to write this story. Yeah, Paint It Black is one of my favorite songs. It's used perfectly at the end of Full Metal Jacket (spectacular movie). That's kinda why I put it in, because FMJ is somewhat about the crazies. Also because of the verse: "I look inside myself and see my heart is black." I think that line describes Spike perfectly. Donnie Darko is an amazing movie that has a cult following for a reason. I can't recommend it enough. As for Spike, yeah, that's a possibility. Come As You Are is about being yourself, which is a big part of this story. Thanks again for reviewing.

There is so much emotion and fierceness in your writing...your Spike (while clearly being messed up) feels things so intensely it almost breaks him, even though he desperately wants to be above it all. Reminds me a little of Spike singing in Once More With Feeling, "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest." Your Spike wishes his heart were dead, but it's not...it's wrenchingly alive. I also enjoyed your book and movie references, perfect for a character as disconnected as Spike is right now. Your work reveals keen intelligence and powerful emotions...thank you for being brave enough to put yourself out there! Alia

Author's Response: This is probably my favorite review. When you say that Spike wishes his heart were dead, but it's actually heart-wrenchingly alive... that's exactly what I wanted to display in the story, the tragedy of it all. The emotion and the fierceness is something I lost, which is part of the reason why I couldn't continue writing this. But that is such an excellent description of my writing style in this story, you're just truly awesome for pinpointing it that exactly. The book and the movie references are also put in as a homage to their greatness. They are some of the things that inspired me to write this story, along with reviews like this. Truly, I thank you for your feedback.

It's really not nice to torture your reviewers... Hmm. So Spike is being William for a while.. that is going be pretty interesting.
Maybe some more of what Buffy is thinking in the next chapter? pretty please? because going to Riley..? Not the smartest choice she has made.

Author's Response: It is not my intention to torture reviewers, although I guess with the story in mind, it might be. I'm sorry for not being consistent in my updates like I originally was; I had a ton of schoolwork and RL issues. It's definitely not the best decision for Buffy to go back to Riley, I agree. I don't think I go back to Buffy's POV next chapter, though. :( Thanks for reviewing.

more please

Author's Response: More soon hopefully. Thanks for saying it. :D

I just read through the reviews of this chapter and I have to say I really laughed my head off - boy do some people get fired up! almost to being ridiculous...

anyway, I just thought I'd leave a review now cos its been a while since an update and i always find that new reviews when I'm struggling with the next chapter help, so just so you know there are still readers really liking this fic! I reread the whole thing again today, and its kinda intense all at once but at the same time I can sort of fool myself that I'm doing something educational cos its one of the most intelligent fics out there. At least, thats my excuse.
Anyway, hope you're still updating it and can't wait to see more! I know how it is though with being insanely busy at times so take your time too!

Author's Response: Best. Review. Evar. I'll take the "most intelligent fic" comment and worship it as much as I do SMG (and you'd be surprised how far I go with that, especially with my vast collection of pictures and the danc-- err, nevermind). Seriously. Awesome motivation right there. You can't buy that in stores or on amazon or even ebay (and ebay has everything!). Thank you so much squawks! I'll be rambling in my head about my fic being "intelligent" for weeks (and that was not sarcasm, even though it kinda sounds that way, it's not).

Nina, it is more like people have a obession with making Buffy the one in their relationship. That is what I don't like. it is like men are evil and women are not.

buffy always has excuse for being awful. like coming from a horrible home life, being abuse, so on.

while spike is just a jerk for the hell of it.

the author so damage this story. big time

a big fat two thumbs down.

Author's Response: Again, nobody is forcing you to read this story. If you need to have Buffy as the villain in a story, just go write one. Please don't troll, though.

Wow, Spike is REALLY messed up. He's almost bordering on sociopath, with the way he's completely discarded the ties between right and wrong. This is fabulous writing, I'm well and truly addicted. I have absolutely no idea how you're going to change Spike's current outlook and lack of emotion, how he's going to come to love Buffy, but I can't wait to find out. Please update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Comments like these really invigorate me and get me churning out chapters. You completely got what I wanted to convey with Spike, and I think you'll be pleased with how things turn out in the end. The end, as you may already know, is still a ways away, as I need to dig Spike out of his grave first before we can even address Spuffy. Thanks for the motivation. :)

....I'm glad to see you're back, was starting to worry if you were ok....I'm not able to review right now, I need another day to separate my thoughts. If I were to review Spike's behaviour in lieu of it being International Woman's Day and having spent the day at the University's rallies it wouldn't be fair.....that said, I'd certainly classify this chapter's Spike as a monster, not the man Whedon's Spike so often wished Buffy would see him as.

Author's Response: Hopefully I won't have to worry you anymore as soon I'll have an easier class schedule and thus be able to mutilate this story a little more. ;) Spike's most definitely a monster, yes, I think he even recognizes that now, at least partially. I look forward to a full review. ;)

Oooooooo - you just don't get it. Don't do to this fic what you've done to so many and start a war of reviews - no one wants to hear what you have to say anymore. Obviously you have some obsession with not wanting Spike to be a bad guy, but read the story - Buffy isn't perfect like you said at all.

TestaALT - don't respond to any of ooooooo's comments, they're just there to be inflammatry and annoying. They just want you to get into an argument and cause problems like he/she's done with so many other fics.

By the way, love the fic. Sorry if you were already onto the ignoring stage.

Author's Response: I know; I've seen other fics that ooooo has left in ashes. I much prefer to respond to what ooooo has to say, though, while at the same time not give into the blatant trolling and flaming. Thanks for this, though; it's reassuring to know that no one takes anything s/he has to say with any grain of salt. And, most important of all, thanks for reading! :D

I don't get it, why is he so unfeeling & downright nasty. I can't imagine that she will ever forgive him or them ever getting together, there is too much hate

Author's Response: You're 100% right: too much hate. Spike will need to see the problem, look for solutions to the problem, and finally set out to solve the problem. Once this happens, and with a little help from the story with some rescuing and other secrets revealed, it will be completely plausible to see the both of them together. I got it all worked out in my head, trust me. ;) Thanks for commenting!

Glad to see an update! Very emotional chapter, and very well written. Kind of surprised that Spike doesn't feel any sympathy for what he's done. But kind of not surprising? Does that make sense? Anyway, looking very forward for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Completely makes sense; I've kind of written it that hot-cold way, so you don't really know if Spike loves Buffy or not. Sometimes it looks like he does and other times it looks like he doesn't at all. Don't worry, though; he'll make the right choice later in the story. Thanks for the feedback! :D