It's so sad. Why is Buffy thinking of Spike as a monster? Is she in denial or just thinking the Council way? What happened?

Author's Response: She's in denial partly because of her teachings by Giles and the Council. But, mostly, I think she's telling herself that, because she doesn't want to admit that William - the first "perfect" man she knew - could have turned into a killer. Remember, she's not been privvy to the details of his life the way we have as the reader. She doesn't know what he's thinking or what he's been through. And she was sent back in time right after the events of "Forever", so he never even got a chance to prove himself to her in "Intervention". She isn't deliberately trying to hurt him, but she's in pain herself, so the more he pushes, the more likely she is to lash out. Don't worry, though. Things won't always be quite so bleak for Spike. Thanks so much for the review! :-)

She used you.

Sex-starved idiot.

She regrets that decision now.

You’re not going to get her.


Ahh totally feed on all his William-isms!
Loved it!

Author's Response: I'm so glad you did. Thank you! :-D

Great but sad meeting of Buffy and Spike. Dawn is great look foward to more

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-D

Wow... definitely the way things have to go down for now. As always you have a perfect handle on the characterisations.

I love that Angel has made the connection between the woman spike loved and buffy. I almost wonder if he'll be the one that ends up helping to convince buffy that william didn't exactly leave the building when he was turned. Of course, that would be admitting that Angelus is dark!Angel, so.... who knows.. .maybe he'll find the balls to be a man for once.

And I really hope that buffy will listen if/when spike tells her what really happened to Anne.

love it as always!


Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :-D

OMG that was fab. I think that Buffy has got to realise that Spike and William are not two separate entities. Spike still has so much of Wiliam in him, although he tries his hardest to supress him. Wiliam would show vulnerability which Spike sees as weakness and in either case he is punished and hurt. The only person he is willing to show this to is Dawn because she accepts him for what/who he is. Nice to see Angel's soul working with regard to Spike and actually realising that he has hurt him. Beautifully written as always.

Author's Response: You're exactly right: Spike sees his William side as being weak, and he does his best to hide it. Yet by hiding it, he will only strengthen Buffy's belief that he isn't the same person. Once he finally allows that vulnerability to show ... once she finally allows herself to see it ... things will go much better for them. Thanks for the review! :-)

Lump in throat, choked with tears... I was feeling Spike's pain!
Thank god for Dawn... Angel has allot to answer for, great chapter update soon!

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I'm working on the new chapter now, so hopefully it will be along shortly. :-)

wow, so worth the wait.

Author's Response: That's wonderful to hear. Thank you! :-)

*kicks Buffy and Angel* *hugs Dawn* This was a hard chapter to read but the last scene warmed my heart. I wish the actual show would have done a story like this.

Author's Response: That's a lovely thing to say about the show. I'm flattered. Thank you. :-)

That was just so fucking sad.... I am looking forward to the good happy parts, at least hoping there will be some.

Author's Response: Just remember ... the darkest hour is just before dawn. Thanks for reviewing. :-)

I have been waiting and waiting for this next chapter and I have to tell you that the ending was just beautiful. Everyone's pain is so palpable and for the record I am glad that Angel was not too much of a jerk. I think the chapter played better with him not going all full out devious as I had expected. Thanks for the good writing.

Author's Response: I'm so glad to hear that you didn't find Angel to be a jerk in this. I don't engage in character bashing, so I really wanted to portray him in a way that was realistic. He's not evil, but he does feel a good bit of animosity toward Spike, just as Spike does toward him. I have no doubt that if the scene were reversed, Spike would have done much the same thing. It's just the nature of their relationship at this point. Thanks so much for reviewing. :)

This was a heartbreaking and wonderful chapter. Bring on the angst ;) ! I feel soooo sorry for Spike, BUT I think Buffy is right, Spike isn´t William. He was not a killer, though Spike is different from most other vampires because of his capability to love. I think that Buffy has to fall in love with Spike because William is a part of him but not because Spike is William.
His relationship with Dawn is wonderful and you show us how the character of Dawn could have been used much better in the show. I love the way you are true to characters and fair to Angel. I don´t think that Angel is a bad guy, he has his flaws as does Spike. I dont like fics that makes Spike look like this alknowing creature that can´t do wrong. We have seen in the show that he suffers often from serious "foot in mouth" syndrome. Thank you for a wonderful update, now I will read it again to be sure I did not miss a thing.

Author's Response: I agree completely. As much as I adore Spike, and as loveable as he is, he is not perfect. Far from it, in fact. And the last time Buffy really interacted with him, before the story began, was during the events of "Crush". Not really Spike's golden moment, that scene in the tunnel. lol. Thanks so much for taking the time to review! :-D

very somber chapter it was very well written. Im not sure i agree with dawns outburst cause i see it through both buffys and spikes eyes i get how buffy feels torn because its true that she knew william as a beautiful person inside and out and she fell so totally in love with him but she knew spike as the arrogant vampire jerk who tried to kill her a hundred times and took her money. Its hard both making the connection between the guy who you thought could do no wrong and the guy who killed thosands and lived off their blood and its also hard accepting that if she really loved him she'd love him faults and all. On the other hand spike doesnt know whether she lied to him all those centuries ago because she was afraid of his reaction or because she wanted to get a great big joke out of it. Then angels really not helping whatsoever because really all he ever does is egg poor spikey on. Im guessing hes only doing it because he doesnt wanna let go of the idea of buffy being his always and all that pero seriously i think angels gotta let go. Dawn, i know shes trying to help but i think she has a habit of siding with spike which is great i mean cause someones gotta but it would be nice if she didnt scream at the poor sister whos been kicked sumplace out of the time for 5 monthes. I mean the girl fell in love and was yanked away from the time where she didnt have the weight of the world on her shoulders, a time where she could be a girl, a time where he had the closest thing to a mother that she could have at the mo. give the poor girl a break. we are all here feeling oh so sorry for spike but buffy aint got it like milk and kookies either now


Author's Response: Dawn is very frustrated with Buffy at the moment, because of her unwillingness to talk about her experiences. I think it's also hard for her to see Spike in so much pain. But I agree with you; Buffy is not trying to be cruel to Spike. She's in just as much pain as he is, and she's lashing out as a means of self-preservation. Thank you so much for your review. :-)