Date: 09/04/2007 - 04:54 am Title: Chapter 3
I hope you don't take this the wrong way because I'm only trying to help, but you might want to add a little more in between the dailogue and just add a little bit more depth to the actual words because the plot is great but it could be written a little better. I meant this in the best of terms. good luck with the story
Author's Response:
Date: 07/11/2007 - 03:24 pm Title: Chapter 3
Just recently found your fic, drawn by the interesting summary. But unfortunately I feel the need to tell you that I simply can not read any more. There is lovely potential here, but it is failing to show itself. The tense you use is I think very hard to follow, there is very little character development thus far, and I don’t FEEL the characters, if this makes sense. The only way I know its spike speaking is because his name is used.
The fic is, I think, lacking in detail - specific character movements, mannerisms and attention to background detail is vital in making a fic enjoyable for the reader, but I’m just not seeing it in this wip.
Can I suggest you get a beta? Or re-watch some Buffy episodes to gain back some feeling to the characters in your fic. I hope you see this review as helpful, not insulting, and that you continue to better your writing.
Author's Response:
Date: 07/10/2007 - 06:07 pm Title: Chapter 3
i wonder how this will end... Exciting story :)
Looking forward for your update!
Author's Response: more soon i hope.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 11:29 pm Title: Chapter 3
I think people at the hotel would be more afraid of Wiliams real name then Spike, hee.
Author's Response: They might be but, were order not to let anyone know who exactly he is, but when doing resevations in which why does the owner really need, Spike would not look good, so that is why he used his real name.
Thanks
Date: 07/09/2007 - 09:12 pm Title: Chapter 3
Looks like Spike and Buffy should have talked a bit before they had sex. Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Yes but I think it was a moment thing, if he didn't get called back, they would have never have done it when they did.
Thanks for the reviews.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 08:27 pm Title: Chapter 3
Now we have to wait: Both if Buffy got pregnant or not and if she finds out who Spike really is in the meantime. Wonder what will happen.
Author's Response: yep it is a waiting game.
Thanks for the review.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 06:24 pm Title: Chapter 3
i love this story i hope you update soon pleaaase.
Author's Response: every Monday thanks.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 05:48 pm Title: Chapter 3
Now we're getting to the good stuff.
Author's Response: yep the good stuff but he has left, how long till he comes back.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 05:47 pm Title: Chapter 3
Seems like I missed chapter 2 too, shame on me, but... well, it was pretty good when I think about it since I had two chapters to read instead of one :) enjoyed them both! I'm very curious now... Wonder what's gonna happen next, if Buffy gets pregnant or not... Lovley update! /Cissi
Author's Response: Well you will have to wait and see.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 04:57 pm Title: Chapter 3
Liked it a lot. Very sweet. :)
Author's Response: Thank you
Date: 07/09/2007 - 03:04 pm Title: Chapter 3
Wow...is she on the pill? Will she find out about William's status before he comes back? Can't wait to find out!
Author's Response: Guess you will have to wait and see, but I am jumping it ahead a few months next chapter.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 01:16 pm Title: Chapter 3
Wonderful chapter as always ....Keep up the good work Jeanette.....
Author's Response: yep I need to write chap 6 soon.
Date: 07/09/2007 - 11:49 am Title: Chapter 3
oh please update soon please
this is soooooo good
Author's Response: Next week, but thanks.