Date: 09/06/2012 - 06:12 am Title: 37 minutes
Has potential, but really needs a vigorous editing. Poor punctuation, grammar, syntax, etc., makes this very difficult to read.
Date: 08/17/2010 - 08:49 am Title: 37 minutes
Hi, I'm really, really liking this story, but just want to point out a bit of a grammar thing, I hope you don't mind.
When it comes to your use of quotes, don't forget the punctuation at the end. When the quote is part of a larger sentence, it needs to have a comma inside it.
For example, you have: "Genius actually” Buffy answered and turned so that she could see him while they danced.
This should be: "Genius actually," Buffy answered etc etc
And when you have a quote that's all on its own, it still needs a full stop.
For example, you have lots of single lines like: “I thought about you too”
These need a full stop inside the quotation ("I thought about you too.")
Similarly, when a quote is at the end of a sentence, there still needs to be a full stop, but this time outside of the quotation mark.
For example, you have lots of lines like: He ran his tongue over his canine, “I know”
These should read: He ran his tongue over his canine, "I know".
I know this seems really anal and nit-picky of me, but I'm a sucker for punctuation and hate to see a great story get muddled with simple mistakes... please don't take offense!
Looking forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Firstly - I take no offense whatsoever. One of the main reasons I lack punctuation - which I do on purpose and forget to rectify - most of the time at least I am in no way near perfect grammatically - is because it capitalizes the word immediately afterwords and that's my pet peeve lol. I will do my best to remember to go through the chappy before I post but I have quite a few stories going so I may forget. Thanks for taking the time to read and to care enough to point this out, Again, no offense has been taken, I appreciate it :)
Author's Response: LOL I am so retarded, no wonder I always get capitals, I'm hitting the period key instead of the comma, thanks so much for your help, really! I can't guarantee total satisfaction for you but I will make an effort.
Date: 08/01/2009 - 06:45 pm Title: 37 minutes
Loved the way Riley got his ass handed to him after slapping Buffy! Can't wait for more!
Date: 07/30/2009 - 09:22 pm Title: 37 minutes
Heh :) I like Anya, she spoke only the truth (about Xander's comment).
I like the twists and turns that happened in this chapter. And the lesson Buffy learned about herself (and her friends including her new friend).
Date: 07/30/2009 - 01:45 pm Title: 37 minutes
This is awesome.
Date: 07/30/2009 - 12:45 pm Title: 37 minutes
Any riley beating or bashing i'm always in for. spike was just protecting his girl , of course he doesn't realixe she's his yet but he'll get there . I'm curious to why he considers her poison though , what happened to him to make him so cynical.
Date: 07/30/2009 - 11:56 am Title: 37 minutes
LOVE IT!!!! Please review soon!!!!