Reviews For Something True
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Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 11/22/2010 - 04:17 pm Title: Prologue

I liked the premise of your story and I hope you can write a sequel.

My only concern is that you need a beta reader, they not only help with grammar but can brainstorm you with ideas that will help with the pacing and timing of the story.

I felt this rushed and somehow I was left to fill some blanks in your story.

One last thing, in chapter 2 you mentioned that Buffy and her daughter's passports were cleared when they arrived to Sunnydale. I thought that Americans didn't need passports to move from one point (Boston) to another location within the country (LA/Sunnydale).

Keep writing! Time and practice will pay off for you. Thanks for sharing.

Author's Response: I'm sorry you felt this way, but I felt I had to skip somethings so I could get to the point that from a simple mistake like a spell can blossom something true like love. As for the passport thing, I live in Scotland and have never been to America, so I don't know the travel protocols. Also, I have never been on a plane and thus don't even know the protocols for UK domestic flights. I am practicing more and on fandoms from UK shows, so it will be next year before there will be any sequels for Spuffy fics.

Reviewer: Pam S Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 11/18/2010 - 01:46 am Title: Prologue

enjoyed

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Reviewer: Pari Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 09/12/2009 - 11:50 pm Title: Prologue

It's a very interesting and promising start, but it felt very rushed and almost like you were going down some checklist. A little bit more details and development would make this even better. I hope it was written this way because it's a prologue, I would be very disappointed if the other chapters were written in the same rushed manner.

Author's Response: I know it's rushed to start with, but I have slowed it down in later chapters. This was my first overall fanfic I was sure about, although it was my second post.

Reviewer: a Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 08/15/2009 - 02:43 am Title: Prologue

This is an interesting set-up, but I wish it were fleshed out more. It seems more like a list or an outline than a story in places, because it doesn't explain why things are happening.

For example, why does Buffy want Dawn to come stay with Joyce? To keep Joyce company? Why does the gang not know anything about Dawn?

Why is Buffy fleeing to L.A. and then Boston? Is it to escape slaying? Or to keep Spike from finding out he's the father of her baby? Why couldn't she just say it was Parker's or another one night stand's, if that's the worry?

Why would Spike agree to move into Joyce's basement? Even if he is fond of her, what's in it for him?

It seems like you have a story to tell, here, and it could be an interesting one. I hope you will slow down the narrative pace, take the time to let your readers into the characters' heads or at least see more of their conversations, so that their actions make sense.

Author's Response: This, although my second post, is my first fic ever writtten so any tips on it is gladly accepted. I will be addressing some of the issues you have mentioned in future chapters and if I dhaven't addressed them in chapters I have already written I will begin to address them when type up more of this fic.

Reviewer: DK Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 08/15/2009 - 02:32 am Title: Prologue

Great start and a very good idea for the plot. Thanks for sharing/

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. If you do find anything that is an issue for you, don't be afraid to let me know.

Reviewer: Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 08/14/2009 - 07:58 pm Title: Prologue

I like the idea of your plot, though I don't know why Buffy's sister would be living with their father in L.A. and would suddenly move in with Joyce. This chapter seems to be skipping over showing the feelings and emotions that should be there, but I think that's just because you want to hurry with the set up so you can start the real story. Will the fact that Buffy had the possibility of a child and that Angelus forced her to miscarry come up again? It seemed important.

I look forward to seeing how your plot moves forward, though I would suggest slowing down enough to *show* the emotions Buffy must be going through.

Author's Response: Normally I would keep my posts for Fridays, but seeing as there is a great response to Something True, I am going to post the next chapter as soon as I've finished answering my reviews. Sorry for the confusion, the next chapter zooms forward five years, but then slows down. I will take note of your suggestions and possibly use them in future chapters.

Reviewer: iris Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 08/14/2009 - 07:19 pm Title: Prologue

Buffy having Spike's baby is , of course, the story we all want. The trick is not waiting forever between chapters. There have been some great stories on this site, but you can totally lose the momentum and the enjoyment when you have to keep starting at the beginning over and over. Some of the best writers haven't added for months -VERY FRUSTRATING! Thanks for listening - I didn't mean to complain!




Author's Response: Normally I would keep my posts for Fridays, but seeing as there is a great response to Something True, I am going to post the next chapter as soon as I've finished answering my reviews. So, after this I will try and keep my posts for Fridays.

Reviewer: cordykitten Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 08/14/2009 - 04:50 pm Title: Prologue

Ah I wasn't sure first who was the father of the baby, Angel of Spike but it were both, first Angel (but Buffy lost the baby) and then Spike (I'd thought first Buffy was still pregnant by Angel).
Not sure where you'll take it now that Buffy is gone now, getting her child alone. But I'll definitely check out the next chapters to find out more.

Author's Response: Normally I would keep my posts for Fridays, but seeing as there is a great response to Something True, I am going to post the next chapter as soon as I've finished answering my reviews. Sorry if I confused you slightly.

Reviewer: v4viper Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 08/14/2009 - 04:20 pm Title: Prologue

Good beginning you got the background done now on with the story which looks to be very interesting more please

Author's Response: Normally I would keep my posts for Fridays, but seeing as there is a great response to Something True, I am going to post the next chapter as soon as I've finished answering my reviews.

Reviewer: Bridget Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 08/14/2009 - 04:14 pm Title: Prologue

Interesting story so far. Please update.

Author's Response: Normally I would keep my posts for Fridays, but seeing as there is a great response to Something True, I am going to post the next chapter as soon as I've finished answering my reviews.

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