I just had to add that I hope that Spike heads over to Buffy's place.

WOW i have never before read reviews that other readers write and i also do not read author notes (guess i should start) --- i always go straight to the updated chapter, read it and then, time willing, i leave a review.

since a review that i left for this last chapter seems to have caused such a crazy domino effect of misunderstandings, i thought that i might try to clarify a few things just for the benefit of Addie (if nothing else)

after the first review that i left i was really baffled as to the response ---- it seemed so defensive and very aggressive (but also contained good advice which i planned upon taking since i do love this story ... "wait for awhile and read more chapters later on") in retrospect i should have dropped it there realizing that my review must have been misunderstood. i regretfully did not in fact drop it and i wrote a defensive response (of course that was not well received) i then decided that there must be much more to this inflamed situation and SO i then took the time to go way back and actually read other reader's reviews as well as the old author notes just to see what the heck was going on. i honestly had no idea there was such drama and nastiness going on --- the nastiness and personal attacks were/are a little shocking !!

i am an artist (have been for the past 20+ years) i have endured praise as well as criticism for a long time. i , of course, loved the praise and the criticism naturally hurt. (some helped me to hone my craft but much of it i took personally) for a brief time i actually changed parts of my craft to try to please the dissatisfied potential buyers but then found myself not loving what i was creating. so i quit listening to the individuals who wanted me to change, went back to my true work and hired a pr man (who has since become my savior) this way i didn't have to deal with the crazies. (and he filters the potentially useful constructive criticism to me in a manner that is palatable) so, Addie, if i hurt your feelings with my words, i apologize. i thought it would be taken as someone telling me that the blue in the sky that i was painting was a little off and would look better a slightly different hue (minor)

which brings me to this --- i now understand the defensive response from Addie since for all she
knew i was personally attacking her. i was in no way meaning to attack Addie as an author or person. if my review was taken that way then i again sincerely apologize.

to further my trying to make sense of this misunderstanding, i had my son (who has a very similar sense of humor to mine) (i am actually considered by friends as very funny/witty and compassionate) read my review to see if it did indeed sound as though it was "whining" or aggressive. i was quoting an old austin powers movie in the review and i was intending to flavor my constructive criticism with humor --- now realizing that it did not come across that way. my son correctly pointed out that since voice inflection and facial expressions were lacking in a written review it could have been taken as an aggressive criticism. i really did not mean it aggressively. i really meant to simply say that as far a "balance" in a story, this particular story was REALLY heavy on the angst side as far as i was concerned and that a more emotionally balanced story would be better. But hey, i thought that if i wrote something like that then it is my opinion and (no big deal) that would be taken into consideration. (in the same manner as pointing out that a preponderance of violence in a story might be best tempered with more compassion--- resulting in a more rounded/balanced story)(maybe a bad example but that was the line of thinking)

trust me--- i will never make the mistake again of writing anything other than positive and supportive feedback (or nothing at all) i always write positive feedback and have for all of Addie's stories.

i am not lurking around under any other names in order to criticise or heckle Addie. (what would be the point in that?) i am surprised at the individuals who have come out of the woodwork and completely inflamed a situation with a "mob-like mentality". (fans of Addies included)

bottom line, i like all of Addie's work, and i meant no harm emotionally. i regret that my not so well though out critique was the continuation of a terrible assault on a devoted author.

seriously though, some of you people (on both sided of this issue) need to chill out and consider that what you mean by what you write may not necessarily be interpreted as you truly mean it. (i just learned that lesson)

please accept my apology addie ... wish you could get a pr guy (some day when you are selling your books.....)

also, sorry for misspellings and lack of continuity of thoughts due to the fact that i am writing in a 3x1 box and i cannot find my cheaters(reading glasses)

Author's Response: Thank you for the apology. I'm glad to see it was mainly a misunderstanding and not another person harassing me. I think most of the reviewer responses, too, were less to you and more to "Darla," who took your review as a chance to start her harassment of me up again.

I wasn't trying to be overly snippy in my response either, though if it came across that way, it is because I'm very tired of the angst comments. Personally, I don't find this to be constructive criticism, because I don't think the story being heavy on angst means there's something "wrong" with it. Not all stories are evenly balanced, and that's not always a bad thing. I'm writing a certain kind of story, and I feel that I should be able to do that without being told it's something that should be criticised. Does that make sense?

What I was trying to say in my original response was not meant to be rude or me "not taking criticism," but really just advice--albeit somewhat short due to two months of continued harassment. I know this story isn't for everyone, and as opposed to changing it from the way I want it to be in order to make other people happy (but not myself) I think it's easier for the people who don't like it to simply not read, therefore allowing me creative freedom.

I've never had a problem with criticism. I don't just write on the internet, and believe me, I have sat in a room and had my work ripped to shreds right in front of my face. But not liking the specific genre of a story isn't really constructive--it's based on reader preference. And as far as that goes, well, it's probably better for the reader to make a choice not to read than for the author to be bothered about what he or she has chosen to write.

I understand things being misunderstood on the internet--I think the same thing has happened with several of my responses. Things are taken as harsher than they were meant to be, and it gets out of hand. This review in particular did upset me, though, because the flame war had finally stopped, and then it started up again after this. I'm so tired of all of this. Not because I believe anything the flamers have been saying, but because I want to get back to just enjoying writing--and with so many people coming after me, it makes me not want to post.

I do hope you continue to enjoy the story. It hasn't been as unbalanced as you've suggested, and really, I am working towards a happy ending as quickly as I can without making it unrealistic. It's very frustrating to have people constantly telling me to write my story in a way that would be completely unsatisfactory to me. I think in the end, both my readers and me should be happy, but I have to be allowed the time to get there!

Thank you again for the apology, and I hope you can read this review as the even tempered explaination it was meant to be. :)

So you couldn't resist the name calling ?

You didn't disappoint in the slightest , showing your true colors .





Author's Response: Um, hello? You called me an ass, you hypocrite. And yeah, after months of you flaming me under different names (I'm not an idiot): bite me, bitch.

Why don't you take a moment and read the reviews from the people who aren't whiny, huh? Do you see people supporting you? Do you see people going "Yeah, Addie's horrible! Let's all flame her 'cause she's mean?" No. They don't like YOU. You know why? You are so freaking out of line,. it is not even funny. You're an ignorant, self-absorned bitch. I'm not "name calling," honey, I'm pointing out the truth. You are a pathetic loser who has nothing to do but harass someone so you can get attention, and that is one of the saddest things I have ever seen.

You've shown your true colors from day one, and they are seriously ugly. I've had enough of you, and I've had enough of being nice. You want to flame me? You go right ahead, because there is nothing you can say that can hurt me. You can't even manage a decent argument. Your problems with my characterization are because you're too stupid to understand anything and obviously don't even know the characters. Your complaints about my responses to reviews are nothing but an attempt to get attention. Yes, I've responded to people who have whined at me. And hey, they've responded right back and many of them--you especially--have acted like assholes. I have not been as rude to a single reviewer as you have dared to be to me, over and over again. I have asked that readers not complain about angst, and yes, because of that, they should stop. No, people do NOT have the right to say whatever they want in reviews, and no just because an author asks for reviews does not mean they should just shut up and take non-constructive whining. "There's angst...waaaah!" is not constructive criticism, and I will never take it as such. If you have a problem with that, hey, why don't you go away. No one will miss you.

This is MY story, and I have worked very hard on it, and you will not take away my joy in writing it away from me. If you don't like it because it's angsty and you're not bright enough to figure out half of what's going on anyway, then STOP READING. I'm not going to stop or change my story because of your insignificant opinion. Most of my readers don't like my angst? Uh, read the reviews, dumbass. You don't speak for my readers, nor do they want you to. And if I got the people who would only complain to go away--GOOD!

Flame me all you want. Go over to the "top ten" link on the main page and look at the "most reviewed fics ever." See how this one is number three? That is in part to your reviews, so hey, thanks! Obviously, too, since you keep leaving multiple reviews for chapters, you must want it all the way up at number one, so thanks for your continued support!

Yeah, one nail in the coffin of the Spike/Eve "relationship". Or would that be two? Three? However many, can't wait for him to dump her. Such a witch! Glad that things are proceeding with the Spuffy comeback. Great chapter.

OMG WAT A BITCH!!! i cant believe she said that. LOL he couldnt get it up for her, haha, thats how it should be. i LOVE this story and am so happy u updated. i really glad that spike doesnt feel for eve the way he feels for buffy. i really hope that spike and buffy start to talk more and fall in love again. also i hope that spike breaks up with eve and that buffy stops seeing robin, spike and buffy belong together and they should see that. please update as soon as u can, i cant wait to read the next chapter. thanx

I loved this chapter. Loved, loved, loved the whole thought process Buffy was going through at the beginning and her heartache when Spike doesn't call. And I loved, loved, loved the fact that Spike felt like he was betraying Buffy rather than Eve when he stayed the night and that he couldn't perform afterwards. Also, there was nothing Eve could have said that was worse than what she said about pretending to be her sister, considering that was exacty why Buffy left him in the first place. Great job, as usual.

And I read the tagboard and please don't leave this site because of one crazy person who obviously just has some weird obsession/vendetta with you. She speaks only for herself - I love this story and think it's one of your best. It's kept me completely entertained from the beginning, and I love what you are doing with it.

Okay, I wasn’t going to say anything because I usually stay out of these things, but I just can’t keep my mouth shut anymore.

Addie, you are a magnificent author. I’ve been reading this story since the beginning, and I’m sorry it’s taken this long to actually review (I’m one of those lurkers with a really busy life… lol) but I have to tell you, this story is… amazing. More than, actually, and it sucks bum, big time, that you’re getting all these negative reviews, that aren’t actual reviews and fall more into the category of whining.

I mean, seriously people, if you want instant gratification in a fic, then, go read smut, or find a story that goes: “Buffy and Spike got together. They lived happily ever after. The End.” And leave the reading of this fic to the rest of us that love it just the way it is.

Now to my actual review part of this, well, review lol…

Where do I start?

Loved how they got together, loved their time in New York, completely understand the feeling of moving to a different state and the stress that was piled onto them. I mean, Buffy had to deal with her mum being sick, possibly dying, the guilt that even then she couldn’t, in a way, forgive her for everything that had been said and done. And then dealing with Spike’s jealousy and the problems that they were having, and then the whole thing with Quentin, I can understand how things just felt so screwed up. With Spike too. I mean, the whole making an album, Quentin’s request that he take into consideration what dating his step sister could do to his career, trying to be there for Buffy, and trying not to be jealous, even though he is.

They might have not dealt with it in the best way, but when you’re actually faced in that kind of, or even just a similar, situation, you don’t really think things through. You just feel, and then do.

I totally understand why Buffy chose to leave Spike. If I were in her place, I’d do the same thing. Sometimes, you just love someone so much, that you’re willing to hurt them, to turn your back on all the greatness of the relationship, just so they can be free to have a future without you holding them back. Which I think, it’s what Buffy though she was doing.

Your story breaks my heart because, three years later, they’re still so adamant about moving on, that they just can’t see, even though they do feel it, how much in love they still are with one another.

I like that Robin is willing to give Buffy time and space to move on and move their relationship to the next step and how he gives Buffy a bit of insight on how Spike was right on how their relationship wouldn’t, for a lot of people, be viewed as wrong, much the same way that Eve gives Spike insight on how Buffy’s fears weren’t exactly unjustified.

Even though I’m not an Eve fan, and I hate seeing her with Spike lol, I like how you portrayed her as being so… human… lashing out at Spike, using words to make him feel guilt about being in love with Buffy, being in love with his step sister, because she feels insecure.

I’m… love, there are no words, I am in awe of this story. The plot is brilliant, the characters are beautifully flawed, the angst is so good it’s painfully good, I just… I love it!

If it gets so bad you have to stop posting here, which I’m really hoping it doesn’t and you don’t, email me and let me know where you will post? ‘cause I don’t want to miss a chapter of this.

thanks for the great update! hopefully spike can get rid of "the actress"(god, i love your writing!) hope buffy comes to her senses soon

I agree with Klai - Eve's response was a perfect way to show Spike that Buffy's fears were not completely unfounded. I think part of him being unable to forgive her yet is that he feels she broke up with him over nothing but her own imagination.

Also wanted to say that these lines:

[i]His touch was for Eve now, and all Buffy could have was his voice.

And it seemed tonight she couldn't even have that much.[/i]

...were just perfect. Haunting , beautiful and perfectly captured what I imagine Buffy was feeling. You paint such vivid pictures with just a few simple words.

An as for the review drama, I can only say that if you are looking for the quick payoff; the "OMG he ran into her arms and said baby I'll never leave you and Buffy had tears in her beautiful green eyes as Spike kissed her...." - well, you are reading the wrong author's fics. I am a real fan of Addie's work, and she is all about strong character and plot development, none of which happens in a few short chapters. Reading Addie's fic is like reading a book - you know, those long things with all the pages that you get at the library? I for one would be terribly disappointed if she made Spike behave completely out of character by running back to Buffy instantly. It would be ridiculous and contary to the Spike that she has created in this story.

Personally, I like angst, because it makes the payoff all the sweeter in the end - but different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Author's Response: *snort* This review made me giggle. I love your sample fic there... lol But don't you know making Spike out of character means doing things like making him drink, since he NEVER did that on the show?! LOL And of course, after three years of bitterness and anger, leaping into each other's arms immediately is so realistic...I just know nothing about real relationships!

Okay, done with the sarcasm now. ;) Thank you very much for your review and your support.

What a bitch! I hope he goes and calls buffy. Ugh I want to strangle eve.

Okay, my darlings, I promised myself I was going to jump in and defend AL's writing.

However, I'm at work and cannot access the chat board so here goes...

I feel this need to point out a few things once and for all and I hope this does not piss off anyone, certainly:

What do you suppose is going to happen if we start losing anymore of the wonerful author(esses) at this site?
Soon there won't be a stie, here or elsewhere and we've lost enough of them already, don't you think?
As a person who tries to write my simple little stories and who looks up to Addie and others, I'm a little put off by the downright anger in some of these reviews we have all gotten.

If Addie is like me, or others that I know of, then we are writing for our enjoyment and need first; for the readers second. It's as simple as that, really.
I cannot speak for every writer, of course, but all's 'I' ask is thet if you are going to review a chapter, etc? Please, if being negative; try to word it in a constructive manner.
Readers (me included) want the stories written in a constructive, prpoer manner, right? So for Heaven's sake, pls, pls try and be constructive and proper in the way you word the reviews???
Look, no here is claiming to be Ernest Hemingway (although I think there are some terrific writers here!).

We are just trying to have some fun, share our thoughts and ideas through writing and such.

Besides, Hemingway and many others did not always write the plots the way we wanted them, right? they wrote them the way they wanted to and felt was necessary.

i love this site for many reaons and would hate to see it disbanded because writers are discouraged from posting here.

Just a thought...
spuf

Okay, I just re-read this whole story again.....and can't tell you how much I love this story!!!!!! More, more, more...Okay I'm not going to say anymore or else you'll think I'm a stalker-reviewer!

The action is coming to a head, and I love it. This chapter strengthened the emotional attachment between Spike and Buffy, even though they never spoke to one another. Buffy is anticipating the intimacy of the telephone calls even as Spike is guarding his heart from her. Eve's callous remark was a low blow, and , hopefully, it will have Spike rethinking his relationship with her.