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That night, Willow and Buffy sat in her kitchen, waiting for Spike to come home and to go to sleep. When he pulled up at eleven, they watched him go inside his house and up to his room before they began to finalize their plans.

“So you’re going to disconnect the battery?” Buffy asked, looking at her friend.

“Yep,” Willow answered. “That way, when he tries to start the car in the morning, it won’t have any power to do it.” Buffy smiled.

“And since he doesn’t know anything about cars, he won’t be able to fix it himself,” she replied. “That’s a fabulous idea. Knowing him, he’ll get it towed.”

“And what are you going to do while I’m under the hood?” Willow asked, noticing that Spike was pacing around his room as she looked out the window.

“I’m going to strategically place the books,” Buffy said, putting them on the counter. Willow looked at the stack and read off the titles, grinning.

“‘Sexually Transmitted Diseases’, ‘Sexually Transmitted Diseases In Homosexual Men: Diagnosis, Treatment, and Research’, and ‘The Gay Teen: Educational Practice and Theory for Lesbian, Gay, and Bisexual Adolescents’.” Willow raised an eyebrow. “Why did you pick these?”

“Because I once saw a book in Mr. Giles’ bookshelf that was titled ‘A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality’,” Buffy answered, shrugging. “Besides, I’ve heard him talk to my mom a couple of times about Spike, and I remember him expressing his concerns about Spike possibly being gay. This way, if he sees these books, he’s not only going to question it more, but he’ll freak out over the whole STD thing.” Willow giggled and high-fived Buffy.

“You are a genius when it comes to revenge,” she said, smirking when she looked outside and saw that Spike’s light was off. “I think we’re good to go. All set?” Buffy nodded and grabbed the books. “We should wait a few minutes, though, just to ensure he’s asleep.”

“You know, it’d be mightily funny if Wes or one of the guys saw the books,” Buffy said, looking at them. “I bet that would raise a pretty big coo amongst his group.”

“How are we getting into his car?” Willow asked, realizing that she couldn’t just pop open the hood of his car without unlocking the doors.

“The moron leaves it unlocked,” Buffy replied. “Since Giles parks behind him when he returns from the bookstore after midnight and leaves before Spike goes to school, he’s never been worried about someone trying to steal his car.” She smiled and sighed. “You’d think he’d be worried about someone sabotaging it, though.”

“You weren’t,” Willow said, looking at her friend.

“True,” Buffy agreed. “I’ve learned my lesson now, and it’s time to return the favor.”

* * *

The next morning, Spike arrived at school around nine o’clock, thoroughly pissed off that his car had to be towed. Wes had picked him up and taken him to school, even though Spike had no intention of actually going to his classes.

“That bint had to have done this,” he said as his friends walked to the cafeteria for lunch a couple of hours later. “I don’t understand how it could run just fine last night and was dead in the water this morning. It doesn’t make sense.”

“And what would Buffy have done to it?” Lindsey asked, sitting down at their table. “She’s not exactly smart, Spike, and I doubt she has a clue about cars. You can’t just look at an engine and know how it operates.”

“Yeah, but you can start pulling wires or removing plugs,” Spike replied. “It had to have been her.”

“Why don’t you ask her?” Gunn asked, watching as Buffy and Willow walked into the room, going to their table.

“Or how about I just mess with her car some more?” Spike suggested, looking at his watch. “I’ve got twenty minutes…anyone have a knife?”

“What’re you going to do?” Wes asked, looking at his cousin. “Tear the upholstery?”

“Slash her tires,” Spike answered, looking at his friends. “I know you guys carry pocket-knives, at least.”

“I’m not contributing more to your delinquency, man,” Gunn replied. “Doing some innocent modifying to her car was fine yesterday, but hacking someone’s tires is a serious offense.”

“Fine,” Spike replied dejectedly, sighing. “I guess I’ll find out what happened later on.”

“If it really was her, what’s her payback going to be?” Lindsey asked casually, looking at the blonde across the room.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something,” Spike said, looking at Buffy as she began to laugh at something Xander said.

* * *

“Son, can I speak with you for a moment?” Rupert Giles asked as he walked into the house after picking up Spike’s car from the mechanic. Spike nodded, grabbing a soda from the refrigerator. “Maybe we should have a seat.”

“Is it something serious?” Spike asked, becoming concerned. “What’s wrong?” Giles motioned for his son to sit down at the kitchen table before he sat across from him and set a pile of books down. Spike looked at them with a raised eyebrow. “What are these?”

“I was hoping you could tell me,” Giles replied, cleaning his glasses with a handkerchief. Spike looked at the titles and couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Spike asked jokingly.

“They were in the backseat of your car,” Giles said, putting his glasses back on and giving Spike a stern look.

“They’re not mine,” he replied, crossing his arms.

“Then why were they in your car?” Giles asked sharply.

“I don’t know,” Spike answered, standing up. “But they’re not mine. I’m not gay, I don’t have any sexually transmitted diseases, and even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t buy books on the subject. That’s what the Internet is for.” Giles looked at his son and then at the books.

‘Oh dear lord, he’s plotted out how to research the subject,’ he thought, trying not to panic more. ‘Let the boy explain, Rupert. If he says they’re aren’t his, then maybe he’s lying. Maybe.’

“These really aren’t yours?” he asked, and Spike shook his head. “Then why were they there? Do you think maybe they’re Wesley’s?”

“I’m fairly certain my cousin wouldn’t put books in the backseat,” Spike said. “And if he ever decided to actually bring books to class, I doubt they’d be of this variety.” He tensed up as he realized who had undoubtedly put them there.

‘That insufferable bitch,’ he thought as he grabbed the books.

“You know what, Dad?” Spike said, trying not to smile. “I probably shouldn’t say this because I promised her I wouldn’t, but I know who these belong to.”

“Whose are they, then?” Giles asked.

“Buffy’s,” Spike answered, fighting the urge to laugh. “She probably left them there when I drove her home the other day.”

“Buffy is a…she’s…” Giles trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.

“Yes, she’s a lesbian,” Spike said, heading for the door. “But please don’t tell Joyce- the news would kill her.”

“Yes…quite right,” Giles replied, slightly stammering. “You might want to return them to her, then.”

“Oh, she’ll definitely get what’s coming to her,” Spike said to himself as he left his house and knocked on her door.

* * *

When Buffy opened the door, she couldn’t help but smile at Spike’s pissed off expression.

“I could kill you,” he said, walking past her into the house and putting the books on her kitchen counter. “Is it your mission to aggravate me daily?”

“You deserve it,” she replied, crossing her arms. “So, were you the one to find the books?”

“No, my father did,” he answered, and Buffy burst out laughing. “It’s not sodding funny! He thought I was gay and diseased!”

“Come on, Spike,” Buffy began, looking at him. “How can you not be gay? You dress like an 80’s British punk rocker and faithfully bleach your hair every other week, and honestly, when was the last time you had a date? And not only that, but Rupert has been worried about you being gay for years now.” Spike raised an eyebrow.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked. “I’m not gay! I like girls… well, all except for you.”

“Then why don’t you date anyone?” she asked. “You hang out with your gang of guys all of the time, so sorry if it seems like maybe you’re having some late-night romps with one of them.” He clenched his jaw and fists.

“Yeah? And what about you, Miss Prim and Proper? When was the last time you had a date?” he asked.

“I date quite often, thank you,” she replied, frowning. “I just haven’t been in a relationship in a long time.” She scoffed. “You just dislike me because I’m more popular than you.”

“That’s bollocks, and you know it, luv,” he said, sitting on one of her counters. “I’m a lot more popular than you.”

“No, you’re sadly mistaken,” she replied. “More people know and respect me than you.”

“Want to make a bet on that one, princess?” he asked, smirking. She raised an eyebrow. “I bet that I could be crowned Homecoming King this year over you being crowned Homecoming Queen.”

“And how does that prove who is more popular?” she asked, confused.

“Because it’s the obvious sign of who people like more- me or you,” he answered. “Are you in?”

“Fine,” she said, shaking the hand he extended to her. “You’re on.”






A/N Okay, before I do anything else, I have to thank PJ, my summary guru, for helping me come up with one for this story- sorry for not crediting you after chapter 1! Second, I’d like to thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter- it meant a lot, and I’m happy that people seem to be interested in this story. Third, I really hope I didn’t offend anyone with the homosexuality/disease books or the joke of Spike being gay- it wasn’t my intention to irritate/hurt anyone, and I don’t have a problem with gays or lesbians, trust me. Lastly, I hope everyone liked chapter 2, and chapter 3 will definitely be posted sometime tomorrow!:)





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