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Chapter 8 - Secrets & Lies


Buffy eagerly paced through the foyer, waiting on Spike to get home from work. It had been a week since Spike agreed to give her some time, and Giles had gone out of town for a short vacation. She had wanted to work that night, but he and Spike had both insisted that she had been working too much and needed to take the night off.

Hearing the car pull into the driveway, Buffy gave an excited little hop, throwing the door open. She gave Spike a bright smile when he practically ran toward her, picking her up and kicking the door shut as he fused his lips with hers.

“Missed you, baby,” he said in a husky whisper when they pulled away.

“Missed you, too,” Buffy replied, giggling as he carried her up the stairs. “I don’t like being in this big, lonely house all by myself.”

“Poor baby,” Spike said with a pout, smiling when it earned another giggle from Buffy, wishing he could hear that wonderful laugh all the time. “So what did you do to pass the time?”

“Oh, the usual,” Buffy said, tossing her hair over her shoulder as he reached the top of the stairs. “Made myself dinner, read a little bit, rented some porn. You know…your basic Saturday night.”

Barely able to keep a straight face as Spike’s eyes widened in shock, Buffy finally giggled. “I’m just kidding, Spike,” she said with an innocent expression. “I didn’t read anything.”

Spike finally realized she was stringing him along and freed one of his hands to begin mercilessly tickling her.

“Stop,” Buffy squealed, squirming around in his arms and laughing as she tried to break free.

Their eyes met and the mood instantly changed. Both felt short of breath as they looked at each other, seconds before Spike’s lips crashed down on hers with bruising force.

Pushing her toward her bedroom, his hands eagerly ran across the soft curves of her body. Shutting the door to her room, Buffy gasped when Spike pressed her against it and devoured her mouth with his. Her hands frantically moved to his shirt, ripping it apart and sending buttons flying in every direction.

Spike smirked, picking her up and pivoting on his heel to toss her on the bed. Her eyes widened when she saw him advancing on her like a predator before his body pinned her to the bed. She closed her eyes as images seemed to assault her from all directions, breaking through the carefully built walls that she had struggled to maintain.

* * * * *

“No!” Buffy screamed, trying to fight against the large man who easily pushed her down to the bed.

Frantically trying to get away, she managed to get to her feet but was easily restrained and thrown back onto the filthy mattress as he pulled off his belt and unbuttoned his jeans.

“Please, no,” she cried, as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Not again. Stop!”

Every night. Every night he brutally raped her and there wasn’t a thing she could do to stop him.

* * * * *

Spike removed his belt, not knowing that the rigid way she was holding her body was out of terror and not anticipation.

Buffy heard the sound of the leather whizzing through the loops and felt as if she was choking as everything became too much to handle. She moved to sit up, but Spike held her in place, leaving soft kisses on her skin.

“No,” she murmured in an imperceptible voice that she couldn’t even hear.

Spike pushed her skirt over her hips, ripping the thong from her body and positioning himself at her entrance. Kissing along her collarbone and neck, he was barely inside of her when he heard a sob.

“No,” she said louder, causing Spike to tense and pull back to look at her.

“Buffy?”

Every feeling overwhelmed her as she remembered the past that she had tried so hard to suppress. “No!” she cried, not seeing Spike anymore. She could only see her so-called foster father on top of her. “Please don’t do this!” she sobbed. “Please, no! Not again!”

“Buffy!” Spike cried, trying to get her attention as he pulled out of her and rolled them, hoping that if he wasn’t crowding her, she would calm down. “Buffy, it’s me,” he said, running his hands through her hair, cupping her face in his hands and trying to get her to look at him. “It’s Spike,
luv…Buffy!”

“Please,” she whimpered, her vision becoming a little more clear as worried blue eyes looked back at her. “Spike?” she whispered in confusion as he briefly closed his eyes, feeling the relief wash over him.

“It’s me,” he said softly, looking into her tearful eyes and running his hands through her hair. “Did I hurt you?”

Sniffling as she shook her head, Buffy cuddled closer to him. “No…you didn’t hurt me.”

“Buffy, talk to me,” he murmured, his lips against her hair. “You scared me.”

“I’m sorry,” she whimpered, fighting another rush of tears. “I never meant to…I’m so sorry.”

“Did someone else hurt you?” he asked, his entire body tensing as he waited for her answer.

Buffy took a deep, shaky breath. “I have a lot I should have told you.”

* * * * *

Spike swallowed the lump in his throat when Buffy finished telling him the last detail of the tortured existence that she had called her life before she had moved to Sunnydale.

The two lay side by side in the bed, their hands intertwined, both with tears streaming down their cheeks.

“Are you going to leave now?” Buffy asked, unable to look at him as she sat up, pulling her hand away from his as she waited for his answer.

Spike frowned, following her movements and tilting her head to look back at him. “Why would I leave you?” he asked in confusion.

Looking away and picking at the comforter, Buffy bit her bottom lip. “Why would someone like you want to be with someone as messed up as me?” she asked.

Spike took a deep breath, pulling her into a crushing embrace. “I’m not leaving,” he whispered, kissing any skin he could come in contact with. He paused when he saw a pale scar on her shoulder, letting his fingertips gently brush over it. “Is this from…”

“Door number two,” Buffy replied in a quiet voice. “Everyday for a year.”

Spike closed his eyes, suddenly having the urge to find his father and apologize for being such a smart-ass son the majority of the time.

“Maybe you should talk to someone,” he said softly, carefully broaching the subject.

Buffy pulled back to look at him with a confused expression on her pretty face. “I am talking to someone.”

“Someone who’s qualified to help,” Spike clarified, frowning when she pulled away from him.

“You think I need to see a shrink?”

“It might be the best thing to…Buffy!” he called after her as she jumped off the bed and slipped her shirt over her head.

“I’m not crazy,” she said, adjusting her shirt. Spike jumped off the bed, wrapping his arms around her waist and preventing her from going anywhere.

“The thought never crossed my mind, luv,” he whispered, leaving soft kisses along her shoulder. “I just think you might need to talk to someone who can help you more than me.”

“I don’t need help, Spike,” she insisted, turning around in his arms.

Spike was about to protest when her lips met his in a gentle kiss, which quickly escalated in passion. Pushing back any doubts, he got lost in the tender caress of her lips against his and decided to do what she obviously wanted and drop the subject…for now.






Thanks so much to: Cordykitten, spuffette, Amanda, willowmouse, Franchesca, BuffyandSpikeForever, Caitie, pj, Laine, Beasleysmom, Spikes Slayer & spashley for reviewing!






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