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Thank you all for the wonderful reviews:) I can't believe that so many people are enjoying this story. *hugs* I hope you all continue to enjoy the coming chapters.
6
Buffy sighed as she tried to lift her arm but failed. It’s been a week since Spike’s melt down. Since then, Buffy and Spike have grown closer, but there was still one problem. Buffy still refused to feed off humans. Spike had begged and pleaded with her, even offered to kill them himself for her, but she would have none of it. Now, she was too weak to even move, thanks to the lack of sustenance.
She was alone now. Spike had gone out to hunt for them both since she had grown too weak to do so herself. She knew that he was disappointed in her. He’d stand above her as she laid weak on the bed, just shaking his head, probably thinking of what a waste she was. A vamped slayer was supposed to be stronger than any other vampire in existence. Yet, thanks to her refusal to feed, she was the weakest.
“Slayer! I’m back!” Spike announced his arrival, dragging in the unconscious form of a drunken frat boy. “Back with some sodding food! Eat up!”
Buffy grimaced at her would be victim and vehemently shook her head, confused on why Spike refused to accept her decision to abstain from human blood. Couldn’t he see that he was wasting his time? He should be something more productive with his time, like determining how they were going to live and where. It wasn’t safe here under Angelus’s thumb. Sooner or later, her ex was going to grow tired of their presence and there would be trouble that neither she nor Spike needed.
“I already told you…no. I won’t feed off humans. I don’t care where they came from or if they deserve it. No,” Buffy pushed the body away with the last of her remaining strength. She winced at the sound of Spike’s angry roar and the sound of breaking glass as Spike threw another bottle of whiskey across the room.
“Bloody fucking hell, slayer! What do you expect me to do? Just let you waste away to nothing?! You have to feed!”
“Not off of humans I don’t,” Buffy pulled the sheet she laid under up to her chin, forcing away the demon’s urge to cower before her sire. Cowering was so not of the good. The last thing she wanted to show was fear, even if the fear belonged to the demon that shared her body. She would not allow it to show any emotional weakness. It was bad enough it made her so weak from lack of blood. “Go away Spike. I’m trying to sleep.”
Spike sighed. For not the first time, he felt at a lost. His Childe was wasting away to nothing, thanks to her refusal to feed from humans. Bloody hell, how did the chit think she was going to survive? She was so small and weak, just laying there, no sign of the slayer she should be. If only she’d feed. He could still hear Dru and Angelus’s laughter at his plight. Dru had chanted about how Spike’s new doll was all broken and couldn’t come out and play and Angelus…a growl slipped from Spike as he thought of how Angelus wanted to be there when the vamped slayer finally dusted from lack of nourishment. Bugger it all, he wasn’t going to allow that. The slayer was his childe. It was up to him to care for her, and that he would.
Getting into a comfortable position on the bed, Spike pulled Buffy’s body up into his arms and positioned her until her mouth rested against his jugular vein. He knew what he was about to do was forbidden. It was against vampire law for vampires to feed off each other for nourishment, but he couldn’t help that. He didn’t want his childe to die, and forcing her to feed from his own body was the only way he knew to make sure she lived…at least until he could get through to her that she’d need to feed.
Buffy’s eyes blinked open, not sure what was happening. She knew that she was being held against a strong chest, and the cool skin beneath her lips held something tempting, delicious…something lifesaving. Something that belonged exclusively to her sire, and he was offering it to her. “Spike. What are you doing?”
“You won’t feed off of a sodding human, pet. So feed off of me. My blood won’t get you to full strength as human blood would…but it’ll keep you alive and functioning. So go ahead. Drink.”
Drink. Such a simple request, and so easy to give into, but wouldn’t feeding off Spike be like feeding off humans? There was something that gave the demon inside her a sense of warning…it was like something that wasn’t allowed. But that was ridiculous. Spike wasn’t human. He was a demon, just like her and it wasn’t like she was just taking his blood without permission, he was offering. So pushing back any reservations her demon brought up, she vamped and sank her teeth into the soft tender flesh and sighed in satisfaction as the cool liquid filled her mouth. Buffy pressed against his body as she took in the blood, feeling like she was drinking the coolest, sweetest nectar in all creation. Settling down in his lap, ignoring the hard erection pressing against her body, Buffy drank and got lost in the cool sensation filling her very being. It was like she was being filled by the cool essence of her sire…not only with nourishment, but knowledge as well. She saw everything that had happened to the man who held her so tightly from birth up until the present. Her fingers tightened around the silky material of his shirt as she experienced all the heartbreak, the joys, the bloodlust of Spike’s past.
She saw the young man he once was. His mother the love of his life…until he met high society Cecily, who he had written poem after horrible poem for. She inwardly giggled at the real meaning behind the name William the Bloody. She watched as Cecily ripped his heart in two and sent him out to meet his death by Drusilla, who was in search of a temporary replacement for Angel. She watched William’s fledgling years as he brought new meaning to his name as he ripped apart the snobs at the party and left Cecily in ruins. She watched as Angelus taught him how to be one of the cruelest, most diabolical vampires of the 19th century. She experienced the triumph of the kill of his first slayer. She felt his heartbreak and confusion as he found out the one male role model in his unlife had left him with two female vampiress, one cruel and the other insane. She felt his fear and outrage as Drusilla was injured in Prague and the instant attraction he had felt for her when he had first set eyes on what he thought would be his third slayer..
Then came the all consuming heartbreak as Drusilla dumped him for her sire and the devastation to find them mated when he had returned from helping destroy Acathla. The desire he felt as he turned her…and now…the breaking down of the wall he had around his heart as he cared for her and the knowledge that Spike was capable of so much love. It was a part of his humanity that he had held onto through out the centuries. When he loved, it was forever and he had given that to Dru, who had outright rejected it the moment Angelus returned to her. Now he was handing his heart to her, tentatively…fearfully…he wanted to love her, but wasn’t sure if she would ever feel the same. This knowledge alone made Buffy collapse against his chest as he pulled her away from his neck, needlessly gasping for air as the meaning of what had just happened hit her.
She hadn’t only seen Spike’s past…she had viewed his heart and it was capable of so much love…if she had any breath…that knowledge alone would have taken it right away. Buffy gazed at him with tear-filled eyes, wondering how a soulless demon could love so deeply, yet her Angel was incapable of such a thing when he had no soul. Somehow, it wasn’t fair…but to know that Spike’s love could possibly be hers…it made everything alright again.
Spike stroked Buffy’s hair as she buried her face in the crook of his shoulder, trying to get her bearings from the wave of images and emotions that had just swept through her. Somehow, he knew what had just happened. He had been an open book for her, laid out bare. No secret had been kept from her as she fed and it had all been too much. He should have been prepared and warned the chit about what was going to take place. Bloody hell, the bint had a sodding strong grip. His shoulders felt as if they would cave from the pressure of her fingers clinging to him.
“What was that?” her voice was shaky, and she felt so off balance, yet stronger…better then she had before she fed from Spike.
“What happens when vampires feed off each other for food. That’s why it’s against vampire law. Too much is given away, and if the childe has the mind too, they can turn their knowledge against their sires. Why it’s forbidden and that’s why you are not to say a word to anyone about this, pet. If Angelus found out…the wanker will kill us both.”
Well. That was a surprise. Vampires had laws? Who’d have thought? Buffy eyed Spike in curiosity. He had clearly went against the rules without a second thought. Why? She knew he didn’t love her…not yet anyway. Oh he cared about her. Respected her even, but would that really have been enough to get him to go against the rules of the society that made him? Was he really so willing to do something that would bring down Angelus’s wrath on them both? Looking at him, seeing the warmth in the depths of those blue eyes, Buffy had her answer. Yes. Spike did care that much, and if she played her cards right, those feelings will soon blossom into the unconditional love he had once held for his own sire.
“Pet, did you bloody hear what I said. Don’t tell anyone that you fed…”
“I heard you Spike, and you have my word. I’ll tell no one. It’ll stay between the two of us,” Buffy sighed, leaning back against the headboard suddenly tired. Dawn was approaching, and her demon, now fully sated, was calling for sleep. “I saw you Spike. I saw your heart. It’s so…”
“Shhh,” he pressed a finger against her lips, not wanting to hear what she had to say, not wanting to even hope that she could feel the emotions he was growing to feel for her. She was the slayer…or rather used to be the slayer anyway, and she couldn’t possibly love him…or could she? Looking at her, so shaken and lost in the bed they now shared, he was beginning to believe that it was possible. She could love him. “We’ll talk about this later. Right now, you sleep and I’ll finish off the chap here. Have to keep my sodding strength up since I’m eating for bloody two now,” He winked, pulling the covers over her body.
“Spike…I…thank you,” She smiled, her eyes bright with feelings that were churning around inside her, making her more and more confused by the day. A few weeks ago, she had hated Spike with her very being…but now…not so much. She liked him actually. Now how heavy was that?
“Don’t mention it, slayer. You’re my childe now. Of course I’m going to take care of you.”
“Still. Thank you,” Buffy’s smile was small, yet bright before she allowed sleep to claim her. For the first time since being vamped, Buffy felt safe and secure. Spike was her sire, and he wouldn’t allow anything or anyone to hurt her. A girl couldn’t ask for more then that. She really couldn’t.
~*~
Giles, able to sleep any further stood at his window and watched the rising sun. He sighed as his grief tried to over take him once again. It’s been two weeks and no sign of his slayer. No ransom note, no dead body. He feared to think of what that meant and he loathed to inform the council…even though he knew there would be no choice. It’s bee more then two weeks and it was painfully obvious that his slayer was never coming back. Maybe he was jumping to conclusion here…indeed, things looked bad…but maybe Buffy was being held captive after all and had yet to escape…maybe she had escaped and was on her way home right that minute? Well then, informing the council wouldn’t do at all. He’ll just wait. Give it a few more days. Give Buffy a chance before jumping to conclusions. After all, she was his slayer. If she was dead…somehow he’d know. Cleaning his glasses, Giles went for the leather bound journal he kept at his bed. It was time to record his thoughts once again. Time to record his dying hope.





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