Author's Chapter Notes:
here comes the spuffiness....
Chapter 12

As Buffy walked home from her coffee with Willow, she started to think about what Willow had said to her. She wanted Spike but didn't know how to go about it. Would he think she was some sort of tramp, moving on from Angel so quickly? Would he think he was just her rebound guy and no more? Because she really didn't want him as just a rebound guy. Maybe he'd see it the way Willow had . . . but how could he? He had never seen her and Angel together like Willow had, he had never witnessed the amount of 'affection' between them, so he probably wouldn't see it like Willow. That was it. She wouldn't try anything . . . she'd just ask him to go to the Bronze as friends. No more, just friends. She'd go up and explain about Willow and Oz and how she didn't want to go it alone. . .


Spikes inner dialogue

'What was I thinking? I nearly kissed Buffy, for heaven's sake! I should have known better. . . God only knows what she thinks of me now, or what she would have thought of me if I had gone through with it!'

'She'd probably think you thought that she was some sort of whore,' his inner demon gleefully taunted him. 'And now she thinks you think she is easy and that you can move right back in where you left off two years ago! Ha! You can't, and you know it. Even if you wanted to, you couldn't. The girl has been hurt- she's not going to open up and let anyone in anytime soon.'

'But I'm not just anyone, am I? I was her best friend, her boyfriend. If she's going to trust any male again, the chances are it will be me.'

But no, he couldn't try anything. . . he'd just give her time and would be there for her, as a friend. Unfortunately, just friends . . .

* * *

'Go on, Buffy. It's not like you haven't done this before. Put one leg in front of the other, left, right, left, all the way up to the front door. Ring the buzzer and wait for him to answer the door. See, not that hard' she thought as she rang the doorbell. Spike opened the door. He must have just gotten out of the shower because he was wearing only a towel.

"Buffy! What you doing here? Come in. . ."

"Just walking around, met Willow for coffee, and decided to pop in and say hi!"

Spike raised an eyebrow. As believable as the story might be, he knew it wasn't true. First off, Buffy couldn't lie to save her life. She always seemed to open her eyes really wide and speak in a kinda singsong voice. And second, he'd left her off at the coffee shop when she went to meet Willow, and that's not what she had been wearing. He wondered what she really was doing here.

"Sure, come into the kitchen. I'll hit the kettle for you. . . "

Buffy could barely stand it for much longer. Soon she knew she wasn't going to be able to control the urge to pin him up against a wall and once again find what she had been missing. The piece that made her feel whole again. 'Stop looking at his mouth!' she snapped at herself. 'Why is he opening and closing it like that? Shit, he was still talking!'

". . .back in a second, luv. Just going to put some clothes . . ."

But he never got a chance to finish that sentence. All of a sudden, Buffy's mouth was pressed against his, her tongue flicking gently at first, just tasting his lips, before becoming more demanding. Once Spike regained his senses, he gave back as good as he was getting, devouring her mouth with his, while running his hands up and down her back and playing with her hair. After what seemed like mere seconds, Buffy pulled away, taking in a deep breath of much needed air.

"So. . .Spike, this is where you live, eh?"

"Buff, I think we should talk about this. We just kissed, whether you want to admit it or not, and you can't claim it was the sort of kiss you give a friend to greet them."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, k? I just don't know what came over me. Must have been hormones or something, sorry."

"So, now that you seem to have gotten the whole rebound thing out of your system, I'm guessing we'll be seeing less of this hormonal, act-on-impulse Buffy?"

Buffy lowered her eyes. "Yeah, I suppose we will."

You fool, you should have known she didn't mean it. "Good."

'Speak now or forever hold your peace, isn't that what they say?' thought Buffy.

"No, its not good." Spike looked up at her in surprise. "Its not good. You weren't the rebound guy, not by a long shot! I was coming by to ask you if you wanted to go to the Bronze with me tonight. Fair enough, I was going to have hidden it behind the whole Willow-Oz thing, but I wanted to go out with you on a date type thing. I wasn't going to rush into anything- the whole once bitten, twice shy theory, but then you open the door half-naked and all muscle-y, and I had no choice but to kiss you, there and then. So, now judge me whatever way you like. . . but I have to go."

Spike caught her arm as she went towards the door. " No, now you don't get away that easily. It's good that you think it's not good. I think the same, I just didn't want to say anything in case you actually meant it. And I was afraid if I said it, you would feel pressured into saying it back, even if you weren't sure. I've wanted to kiss you like that since I came back, almost did today. If it hadn't been for that bloody egg timer, I would have. But I was afraid I'd hurt you again, and I couldn't bear that. Of course, I'll go to the Bronze with you, and I don't care if you feel you can't tell your friends about what happened just yet if you're not ready, but promise me something."

"What?"

"That I'm there when Angel finds out," he replied wickedly.

"Oh shit! What the fuck is Angel going to say? He's going to kill me, and you for that matter. Guess you might get to fight him after all."

"Guess I just might. But before he comes back, there is something I have to know. Don't worry, you don't have to answer me just now. You can tell me after you think about it for a while. What I was wondering is, where do you want to go from here? I mean, do you want to just keep it at friends, or do you want to go in for the whole couple thing?"

"What do you want to do?"

"It's not my decision to make, pet. Let's just put it this way, whatever you decide, I'll be happy."

"So it wouldn't bother you either way?"

"I didn't say that. I know which one I'd prefer to be the answer, but I wouldn't have too much of a hissy fit if you picked the other one. Well, maybe just a small one."

"O.k. So if I were to say that I'd like the whole couple thing, what would you say?"

"I'd say nothing."

"Nothing? Like, as in nothing at all?"

"Like, as in nothing at all. What I would do though is go over to you and act like your dotting, besotted boyfriend before kissing you. Starting off very gentle, so gentle our lips would be barely touching, and slowly moving my hand up and down your back, painting pictures here and there with my fingertips, all the while kissing you tenderly. See, I wouldn't say anything at all."

"Hmmm, I like the sound of that, but I'm sorry, I'm afraid I'll have to go with option number two."

"But why?"

"And after the whole 'I wouldn't say a word', what does he go ahead and do? Typical!" Buffy teased.

"Come 'ere to me, luv. . ."





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