(Sunnydale)
Buffy was asleep almost before her head had hit the pillow. She was still at a loss about what to do: go for Spike and live a normal, happy life. Or stay with Angel out of fear and live a lie. She knew it was obvious which one she should go for but she didn’t seem to have the courage anymore.
Since the last time I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don’t look at this the same
She remembered the last time that they had been together. They had gone to the airport together, to see Spike off. They had held each other tight, neither wanting to be the first to break away and say goodbye. In the end they didn’t have to make the decision, the last call for Spike’s flight had been called. Their bodies had finally un-entwined, and the tears streamed down both their faces. He boarded before she had told him how much she cared.
Disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face
I’m here without you baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind
Buffy was falling further and further into ‘Spikeland’. It was like silent movie clip, and she and Spike were the stars. It was amazing how easily she could lie to herself in the daylight hours, but when the darkness came and she was left alone with her hopes, fears, thoughts and dreams, the truth always came back to haunt her.
I’m here without you
But you’re still with me in my dreams
And tonight there is only you and me
But what if she was finding what she really wanted in her dreams? What if her dreams were messages? What if her dreams were telling her what she should do to be truly happy?
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
What if her dreams were telling her to finish with Angel because she was still in love with Spike? Oh my god! She was still in love with Spike!
She woke up with a start, "I’m in love with Spike." That was the first time she ever said the words out loud, and it sounded right. She glanced at her clock; it was 10:15. Willow should be up. She picked up the phone.
"Willow?"
"Yeah?" came the soft reply.
"Can you come over as quick as you can? I need to talk to you."