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Buffy woke up with the sun shining in her room. She hadn’t had one bad dream. And then she remembered she was next to Spike and knew that his presence had acted as a “dreamcatcher.” She snuggled closer to him, still dazed and not completely aware yet. Spike woke up when he felt her move and opened one sleepy eye.

“Morning kitten.” His voice was husky with sleep and Buffy smiled. Partly forgetting that this was reality and not a dream world and partly not caring for once in a long time she leaned up and kissed him softly.

Spike closed his ‘eye’ and melted into her, pulling her closer. The kiss wasn’t needy or passionate but slow and languid. She ran her hand over his chest and he groaned, nudging closer to her, desperate for a different kind of heat. Buffy lightly ran her hands across his stomach and toyed with the drawstrings on his track pants.

He pulled away as if he’d been slapped. “I’m sorry Buffy.”he said sitting up quickly and moving to the end of the bed, placing his head in his hands.

“I’m such a soddin’ idiot!”

Buffy didn’t say anything for a moment, thinking that he was rejecting her. Then she realized he was rejecting himself because he didn’t feel as though he was good enough. She laughed lightly.

“It’s not funny Buffy.”

“I kissed you Spike. You have nothing to apologize for. And it is funny.”

“How’s that kitten?”he asked, sparing her a quick glance.

“I don’t think I’m good enough for anybody and you don’t think you’re good enough for anybody. If anyone’s perfect for one another it’s us. You were right Spike, someone will make me very happy….can you let go of your fears and let it be you?” She reached for his hand but he pulled away and walked to her door.

“No princess, I can’t. You deserve better.” He closed the door behind him. ‘The only reason she’s saying those things is because she’s confused” he whispered to himself. “Best give her some space, some time to realise she doesn’t want me.”. He walked to his room and locked his door.

Buffy sighed. She thought she was the one who was royally fucked up but he had shown her that life was still worth living. That there was still hope for a 'happilly ever after'. He’d been there for her like no one else had, she’d opened up to him, come to depend on him, and even though it scared the shit out of her, she’d come to have feelings for him. Now she saw it was her turn to help him, she hoped he’d let her. She knew he was going to push her away, from the monster he thought he was. Try to keep her safe from him. She had to make him see that the safest place for her was in his arms, that the ONLY place for her was in his arms.


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