It had been over a month since Spike had left now and Buffy was sick of waiting to hear from him. She wouldn’t wait anymore. He hadn’t heard her say she was sorry the night he’d left, hadn’t known how much she had wanted him to stay. She should have told him but she hadn’t, and she’d never been more sorry in her life. She’d tried phoning him a couple of times but his mom had always answered, always telling her that he wasn’t home yet. Until last night when Jenny’s answer had changed. Now he didn’t live there, not even his own mom had his new number. She’d admitted to Buffy that she and Spike had been off since Joyces funeral and had only spoken a handful of times about nothing of importance. Buffy felt bad for causing that rift between them but she also knew it was more then that. Spike couldn’t face the fact that he was the son of a rapist and it haunted him when he looked at his mom. She couldn’t tell her that though, that was for them to work out. But she was sure they would, in time the wounds would heal between them. But Buffy wasn’t sure that her and Spike would be that lucky.
It had been three months now and he still hadn’t called Buffy back once. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to have a “Hows the weather down there buddy” conversation with her. Not with her. Not with the woman who had stolen his heart.
He picked up his guitar and started to play for the crowd at the pub he was playing at. It was a new song, on he’d written about them.
*There's a pain that sleeps inside
It sleeps with just one eye
And awakens the moment that you leave
Though I try to look away
The pain it still remains
Only leaving when you're next to me
Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
So I stand and look around
Distracted by the sounds
Of everyone and everything I see
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need
Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay
Can you make them disappear?
Make them disappear
There's a pain that sleeps inside
Sleeps with just one eye
And awakens, the moment that you leave
And I search through every face
Without a single trace, of the person
The person that I need
Do you know, that everytime you're near
Everybody else seems far away
So can you come and make them disappear
Make them disappear and we can stay*
He put down his guitar and walked off the stage, not hearing the cheers from the crowd or the cries for an encore. Once he got behind the curtain he wiped his eyes roughly. Why had he left her? He could have just stayed, it’s not like he needed to be here in England and he could come visit his dad whenever he wanted to. He only had to look at a single star to talk to him when he felt the need anyway. It was probably too late now, she probably had someone else. Best to leave it be.
5 months later
“I’m sorry Parker this just isn’t working out.”
“Oh, well, do you wanna fuck goodbye then?” he asked with a nasty smirk.
She sighed and put the money for her coffee down on the table. “Parker you reject, if I didn’t fuck you while we where dating why in gods name would I fuck you now you moron?”
“For the memories.”
Buffy couldn’t help but laugh. “I have enough bad memories.”she shot back as she walked away. This whole dating thing just wasn’t working. She had to do something and she had to do it now.
(A few days after….)
Spike hung up the phone with Xander. He’d finally phoned his friends and he had eaten a lot of shit for not doing it sooner. When he’d asked about Buffy Xander had told him simply, “She has a date.” Spike had let him go a moment later, promising he would phone again soon. He lifted his head high, she was on a date and it didn’t bother him. ‘Stop lying to yourself you ponce’ he mentally chastised himself. Well, it did bother him but if she was happy he was happy for her. In a few moments he had to be onstage to sing his newest song, again it was about his Buffy, but this one was a much happier one. He’d decided to write about how good he had felt when he was with her instead of how bad he felt when he wasn’t.
Buffy’s eyes scanned the crowd. There were enough people there to make it difficult for her to see him. She pushed her way almost to the front when she heard it. Well, him, to be exact and she froze.
“Well here we go guys, it’s about her again.”
He laughed as the crowd went berserk and started to play. He’d given the a small overview of him and Buffy after a couple of people had called out questions one night after his show. He always sang with his eyes closed, he could picture her that way.
*In, I'm falling in
I didn't want to
Not so fast, boy
Slow,
Don't wanna hurt the girl
Give her a pretty box
You better fill it
And I get blinded when she opens the door
It's like looking into the sun, you know
And I'm just blinkin', moanin', starin' at my shoes
And she just looks at me
And smiles
Smiles
Smiles
Oh, there we go again
And it feels so good
I'm fallin' up and down
Damn, it's 2 AM again
And she kisses me goodbye
For the sixteenth time
And I'm driving home, it's 2 AM
And I look at the sun come up over the hills
And the clouds are turning pink and green
And all I can see is her eyes
Eyes
Eyes
I get blinded when she opens the door
It's like looking into the sun, you know
And I'm just blinkin', moanin', starin' at my shoes
And she just looks at me
And smiles
Smiles
Smiles*
The applause was deafening, someone in the back yelled “For fuck sake, go after her already man” and everyone laughed, including him.
“Not that easy Wesley” he yelled back.
Just then a girl bumped into Buffy, pushing her through the few people in front of her, right into the front. Right into his view.
He dropped his guitar and stood there, not believing what he saw.
“Or maybe it is.”he whispered.
Buffy tentatively walked to the stage and he offered her his hand. Grabbing it she was pulled into his arms, he was holding her so tightly she couldn’t breathe and she didn’t care at all.
He was crying openly in front of her and everyone in the pub and he didn’t give a flying fuck. His princess was here in the flesh and he wasn’t gonna let her go.
He looked at his fans and a huge grin broke onto his face. He turned her around so that they could see her.
He took her backstage and pinned her against the wall, crushing her lips to his in a kiss that screamed with need. Both of them pulled away panting and they could hear the crowd cheering for them. They looked at each other and smiled.
“How long you staying pet?”he asked suddenly fearful that she wouldn’t be there long.
“For as long as it takes.”came her simple reply.
“For as long as what takes kitten?”
“To do things right this time.”
They kissed again and both of them knew that they wouldn’t mess it up this time, that this time they would get it right. They couldn’t go back to being with out each other, they’d tried that and failed miserably. Problems would come and go, tears would be shed by both, some days they would drive each other crazy, but they both knew that it would be worth it.
Spike looked her in the eyes and frowned slightly. “Didn’t you have a date tonight?”
“Yu-huh.” She giggled.
“With who?”he growled.
“With destiny.”she snorted right after saying it and Spike cracked up.
“That was awful pet.”he said with a grin.
“I know but Buffy comes with bad jokes, take it or leave it.”she teased.
“Well I know I’ll never leave it.”he said hugging her again.
“Promise?”
“You know it’s true luv’”
“I know but I want you to swear it on something, so I know you’ll always be there.
“I swear it on my soul.”
She wanted to keep the moment semi-playful, she knew that they both had a lot to talk about and that they had to work out a lot of issues, things had to be worked out properly before they could truly be together again but she also knew that talking about these things in a dirty hallway of a pub was not where it should happen. It should be done in a house, or a bedroom…….she thought with a cheeky grin.
Spike knew that this was definitely not the place to discuss their reconciliation and the plans for the future and knew she felt the same way when her face went from serious to smirking.
“You have a soul?”
“Ya, kind of stings.” He replied before they walked out the back door hand in hand into daylight that warmed their faces, while they warmed each others hearts.
Well its done guys hope you liked it. I didn’t want things to be too perfect between them because they hurt each other a lot and I wanted it to be more realistic. But there happy and theyre back together, so I did what I promised lol. I made them walk into the sun simply because I wish Spike had been able to do that in the shows finale…..sigh, I miss the show sooooo much (sobs). Anyway it was hard for me to stop this fic but I think I ended it as best as I could. I hope you guys think so too!. Please review and let me know what you thought, I”d love to hear it. The songs I used where Hoobastanks Disapear and Ghost of the Robots Smile. I might add an epilogue but youll have to leave a review to let me know if you want one, itll be sweet, that much i can promise.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I love all my reviewers, you guys helped me keep this fic going and i cant thank you enough , i love you all. Please review if you all want an epilogue! Itll be sweet and i might throw in one last "Spuffy" scene lol