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Thanx for the reviews everyone, I hope you like this chapter, it's short but meaningful (i think). No offense is meant to anyone so if you're not okay with rape and what not (not that I am) please do not read anymore of this story because it deals with it a lot!!!




“Sorry Red, Buffy’s still not up, I don’t think she’ll be taking calls today, she’s gonna be off for a while pet……………..okay, I’ll tell you give your love…okay, bye.”

Spike hung the phone and sighed. His personal stuff had been delivered this morning from home and had been set up by eleven. It was now twelve and he still hadn’t heard a noise from her bedroom. Suddenly an awful image came to his mind. What if she had killed herself. Superman couldn’t have leapt the stairs as fast as he did in that instant. He flung open her door and let out the breath he didn’t know he’d been holding when he saw her curled up and fast asleep.

He tip toed into the room careful not to make too much noise, he didn’t want to startle her after all she’d been through. He settled with sitting on her rocking chair by the window, watching her sleep, she looked like an angel. So different from the girls he’d dated. Cecily and Dru. Cecily had broken his heart and Dru had just fucked him up. She’d been his dark princess. She was sick and twisted, yes, but she loved him in her own way and he desperately needed to feel that especially after everything that had happened.


He’d woken up late one night and overheard his parents talking. What he’d heard had sent him spiralling into a world of anger and shame, one he was still caught in, much like Buffy. His dad had been sick for the last few years and all of them knew that the end was near. They were discussing Ruperts final wishes and Spike couldn’t help but listen. Once the conversation was done he snuck back into his room and cried. He’d honestly thought about killing himself but couldn’t bring himself to do it. He’d found out that the man he had called Da’ for the last fifteen years wasn’t actually his father. He was in the most important senses of the word. He’d been the one to soothe William when a grade school crush went awry, the one to pick him up when he fell, the one to teach him to play sports. But he was not in fact the man who had helped his mom conceive him. Another man had done that. A sick, twisted man who was rotting in a jail cell for the next 20 years for rape. He had not been born out of love like every child should be, but out of anger, hatred and sickness. His mother though had not been able to terminate him. She believed that every living creature deserved a chance. His ‘father’ wanted to tell William before he passed, explain everything but Jenny refused saying that she wouldn’t let William ever see him as anything besides his ‘Da. He’d never told his parents that he’d heard every word, he spared his mother that at least. He could barely look at her anymore without picturing her screaming for mercy to a man who wouldn’t grant it. Rupert passed a week later. He’d told his girlfriend Cecily everything when he'd broken down after the funeral and she’d broken up with him disgusted. Her last words to him were “You’re beneath me William.” That’s when he’d met Dru and the others, that’s when he’d let go of William to become the Spike that his princess wanted, the man that wasn’t beneath anyone. He loved his mother dearly but he was thankful for the time away that staying here allowed him. It was too hard to be close to her and not ask her how she could love him when he was such an abonimation.



He’d never told anyone else, he didn’t know if he would but as he sat there looking at the little blond angel lying peacefully wrapped in blankets, he knew that if he ever did, it would be to her. He got up and quietly left the room, knowing he’d be back shortly to check up on her again.


Let me know what you think........





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