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Thanx for all those who have reviewed, I hope I haven’t offended anyone and I hope that your enjoying this fic.





He let his thoughts wander to the small girl lying down across from him. He’d known her for 3 days and somehow he felt more connected to her than anyone else. Sure he had his so called friends back in England but they didn’t really care about him just as he didn’t really care about them. Maybe it was because they both had their demons to work through. Maybe it was because both of them blond hair, he really didn’t know why. But he had the sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the fact that every time he looked into her bright green eyes that still had a spark after everything that had happened, he felt as if he were drowning. There was only so long he could keep telling himself she wasn’t his type before he had to kick his own ass for being so stupid.

He could never be with her though. He wasn’t good enough, for her or for anyone. After Spike had left Dru before coming to America he’d sworn that he would never love again. It was too risky, he didn’t know how much of his actual father was in him and he wouldn’t chance hurting a woman the same way his own mother had been hurt. He hadn’t done anything of the sort to Dru but once that notion had popped into his head he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He wouldn’t let himself stop. There was monster in his blood.


Buffy cracked open an eye and groaned when she saw her room. “Hey there.”

“Hey to you too.” Spike answered softly.

“Sorry about before.”

“Never apologise to me for that again pet.”

She gave him a small smile. “Why were you crying?”

“Maybe one day I’ll tell you luv’, until then will you settle for a ‘thanks for being there’?”

“Sure.” She smiled up at him, in the midst of all this pain maybe she’d found a friend and she was grateful for that at least. “So where do we go from here?”

“The path is always unclear Buffy. But I promise I’ll be there for you.”

“Why? I don’t need anyone Spike.” She was a little defensive, she thought he was pitying her.

“Maybe I do.”


Their eyes locked for a moment before they looked down.




(about 2 weeks later)

“Hey Wills, we still on for bronzing it tonight?”

“Of course, I cant wait to see you. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Ya. I am. There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore.”

Willow smiled at that. It had been a long time since she’d heard Buffy so perky and hadn’t expected it so soon. She knew her friend was still trying to make sense of it all. Joyce had returned and Buffy had sat down and told her everything. They’d both cried and apologised to each other. One for not telling what was going on and the other for not noticing the signs. Joyce had left again a few days later to make another business trip to L.A. Buffy and the others knew it was more then business when she told them she’d be gone for two weeks this time. She’d almost cancelled to stay with Buffy but her daughter had informed her firmly but lovingly that smothering her wasn’t going to help the situation. Also what daughter actually minded having no parental unit around for weeks on end. She was hoping that she’d get most of the summer to herself and her friends. It was only the second week of break and hopefully there would be 6 more of almost no mom fun. Her mom deserved to have fun and so did she. By the way things were looking Buffy was going to get her wish. Whoever the man her mother had met must be pretty amazing, her mom was glowing and she’d only phoned once in the last two days since she’d been gone to check up on her as opposed to the 700 phone calls per day she usually received from her.

“That’s good to hear Buffy.” Willow said cheerily. “So nine o’clock then?”

“You betcha, I wouldn’t miss this Friday night for the world!!!”

“Bye then.”

“Bye.”

Buffy hung up the phone and turned around to watch Spike finish drying the dishes, she started laughing.

“What’s so funny pet?”

“It’s just that my mom leaves and you replace her, tidying up and doing dishes. Aren’t we supposed to wreck the house or something?” she teased.

“Bloody hell Buffy, we’re not all pigs like you and Mr. Gordo.” He shot back with a smirk.

“Hey.” She pouted. “You leave Mr. Gordo out of this, he’s innocent!”she demanded.

Spike just laughed and shot some water at her, she ran away squealing. “You sound like him too!”


Buffy smiled as she made her way up the stairs. Truthfully she was still terrified to be alone but having Spike in the house made it easier. When she’d told him she’d been having nightmares he’d started to sleep on her floor every night so that when she woke up screaming he was there immediately to soothe her. ‘God it must be a killer to sleep like that.’ She mused and pondered that while she jumped in the shower to get ready.


Buffy tied her hair up in a messy bun and applied light make up. She decided to wear a cream colored tube top with low rise faded jeans. She looked casual but cute. She walked downstairs and smiled up at Spike, who she was getting closer to everyday. She didn’t know what he meant to her but she knew that he was in her heart.

“Hey stud.” She said perkily. Spike turned and smiled. She looked good, less withdrawn, more…..alive.

“Hey ugly.”he teased and she fake pouted.

“You know one day I’m gonna get that lip.”he laughed.

Buffy smirked. He looked…..hot, as usual. Actually hotter than usual. He was wearing black jeans with a black muscle top and his duster. “You ready for a night of much needed aloofness and fun?”

“You bet I am pet.”

“Good because I owe you a dance.”

Spike didn’t know how to answer that. The last time they had danced had been the night that Angel had been arrested. He cocked his head and looked at her.

“You want my body don’t you?”

He said it with such conviction that Buffy stood still for a whole minute, and then broke into a fit of giggles.

“HEY! What’s wrong with my body?” he sulked.

“Oh nothing a little something called daylight couldn’t fix.”

He growled.

“Down boy.”she said and ran from the house to her car with him close behind. He reached her and grabbed her in a tight hug, lifting her off the ground before she could unlock her door. He twirled her as she laughed. Buffy wished she could have frozen that moment in time, it was a carefree one and nobody got much of those anymore, at least nobody she knew.

He set her down and she smoothed down a stray curl that had come loose from the gel he used, letting her hand stay a second longer then necessary and she climbed into the car. They drove in a comfortable silence to the club.

Buffy didn’t know what was happening between them but there was something there. She just couldn’t explain it. Friendship for sure, something else? Maybe. She knew it was too soon to be with somebody physically, she didn’t know if it would ever be not too soon and she didn’t want to over analyse their situation. Besides, she didn’t even think she was his type.



“Buffy!!!!” Willow screeched and hugged her friend, who smiled and hugged her back.

“Hey Wills, wanna hit the bar? I’m parched.”

The two girls walked off catching up and left Xan and Spike to fend for a table.

“So mate, any new updates on the Red mission?”

“None so far but soon I hope.”

“I hope it works out for you mate.”

“Thanks Spike, see I told you having extra testosterone around would be of the good.”

Both guys cracked up and grabbed a table a bunch of airheads had just evacuated. They were sitting down for two seconds before one of the girls came running back.

“Hey, sorry I left my purse under the table.”she explained.

Spike reached under and handed it to her, giving her a friendly but dismissive smile. She didn’t get it though.

“I’m Harmony by the way.”

“Spike, this is my friend Xander.”

“Ya, I know who he is, we go to S.D.H together.”

Spike didn’t like the way she was looking at his buddy with such disdain.

“You go to school?”he asked.

“Ya, of course I do.Why do you ask?”she giggled.

“Because where I’m from you need an I.Q to attend.”he said with a smile that dripped with sarcasm.

“Well, aren’t you the little prick.”she puffed and was suddenly tapped on the shoulder from behind. She turned around and came face to face with Buffy.

“I know I didn’t just hear you call my friend a prick you bitch.”Buffy was seething.

“He insulted my intelligence.” Harmony tried to explain.

Buffy smiled coldly. “Harmony, ‘sweetie’, for Spike to have done that you would actually have to have intelligence for him to insult. Now be a good little girl and go away.”

Harmony turned beat red and stormed away, everyone laughed.

“You’re a girl after my own heart Buffy.”Xander teased. They sat there talking and laughing until the first slow song of the night came on and Xander asked Will to dance again.

Buffy looked at Spike and smiled. “I cant wait till they hook up, they’ll make each other really happy.” She had a wistful look in her eyes.

“You’ll make someone very happy too one day pet.”

“Ya well one day may be very far away.” She sighed, “so, wanna dance? Since I owe you and all….”she trailed off.

Spike stood up and took her hand. As they walked to the dance floor he turned to look at her.

“What?”she asked.

“Well I know it doesn’t count but you just made me very happy. I get to dance with the prettiest girl here.”

Buffy blushed. “Of course it counts Spike.” She answered as she moved into his arms and they got lost in the feel of the music and in the comfort of one another.


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