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Chapter 10 – Just Words


Noticing that she was avoiding his gaze, Spike slowly walked toward the porch, hesitating before he sat down next to her.

“I didn’t mean it,” he began, resting his elbows on his knees as he stared straight ahead.

“Doesn’t mean it’s not true,” she said softly, obviously choking back the tears.

“Buffy-”

“Can we not…talk right now,” she whispered. “I’m only here because I have to be. Trust me, it’s the last place I want to be, but the faster this week is over, the faster I can pretend you don’t exist.”

“I just wanted to say-”

“I know what you wanted to say, Spike,” she murmured, finally turning to look at him, causing his heart to constrict as he saw her watery eyes. “They’re just words, right? They never really mean anything.”

“But they hurt you. I hurt you, and I never meant to, pet.”

Glancing at the ground for a moment, Buffy bit her lip as she nodded. “Can we just forget about it? Can we just get through this week and then pretend like the other doesn’t exist?”

“And if that’s not what I want?”

“Then I don’t know what you want,” she said, standing up and wrapping her arms around her body. “And I don’t want to know. Whatever you think is going to happen, whatever you might want to happen…I’m not sleeping with you just so you can say that you went slumming it for a week.”

“That’s not what-”

“That’s not what you meant,” she filled in for him. “That’s never what you mean, is it, Spike? Not once it’s out of your mouth. At least take some responsibility for yourself. You meant what you said and that’s…that’s okay. It’s your opinion, and that’s fine. There’re reasons why I’m ‘unpopular and poor’, but you’re not going to hear them. That’s what my true friends are for.”

Hearing her softly spoken voice nearly cut into him like a knife. He would have preferred her to hit him than say what she was saying.

“Can we go inside now?” she asked. “I’d like to call and check on my mom and get to bed.”

‘Oh God, her mum,’ he thought, feeling his stomach drop even farther.

“What happened to her?” he asked, standing up and reaching for his keys.

“Cancer,” she said softly. “Kind of sudden, but she caught it in time…she’s better now.”

“I’m glad,” he whispered. “No one should have to go through the death of one of their parents at our age.”

‘His dad,’ she thought, remembering the car accident a few years ago.

“Yeah,” she agreed, standing behind him as he opened the door.

“Ladies first,” Spike said with a soft smile, waiting until she walked past him before entering the house.

“Your room is right next to mine,” he said, climbing the stairs, feeling a sense of loss that he wasn’t going to be close enough to touch her in a few moments.

Opening the door of the room, Buffy gave him a halfhearted smile before she began walking past him. Stopping with a start when she felt Spike’s hand on her arm, she turned to face him with confusion etched on her features.

“Buffy…”

He trailed off in a whisper, looking into her eyes.

Seeing the façade crumble, Buffy relaxed a little bit as she sighed and looked at him. “I owe you an apology, too,” she said, knowing that wasn’t what he was looking for, but it was easier than forgiving him at that moment. “I didn’t mean what I said…I probably just provoked you.”

“Yeah, well…you’re the best at it,” he said with a smile before slowly leaning down and brushing a kiss to her forehead. “Goodnight, pet.”

“’Night, Spike,” she said, feeling their tentative truce take effect as she gave him a soft smile before walking into her room.

Feeling moderately better, Spike sighed as he dragged his hand over his face. Walking into his room, he kicked the door shut before walking over to his bed and collapsing on his back.

“You really fucked up tonight, mate,” he muttered to himself, staring at the ceiling. “Mental note- keep feet firmly on the floor and not shoved in your mouth…or next time, she’ll make sure and shove one up your ass- rightfully so.”

* * * * *

Waking up the next morning, Buffy had been surprised to see her bag sitting outside her door. She knew she left it in Spike’s car, but she had been too upset the night before to think about grabbing it before she came inside.

Wearing her favorite pajamas and slippers, Buffy padded down the stairs, automatically seeking out the heavenly scents that were drifting in from the kitchen. Stopping in the doorway, her eyes widened when, instead of Anne, Spike stood in front of the stove, scrambling eggs and dividing them among the plates that were already laden with bacon and toast.

“What’s going on?” Buffy asked with a smile, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the island, raising an eyebrow when Spike set a glass of orange juice in front of her.

“Serving you breakfast,” he said with a grin.

“And apparently I’m missing something,” she replied, watching him carefully. “Aren’t the slaves supposed to be the ones doing the cooking?”

“Not when the master has been a right wanker,” Spike said, setting a plate in front of her. “Don’t get used to it- I’m not one for the kitchen labor, and consider yourself lucky if you don’t bite into an eggshell with every other bite. The Good Mood Train immediately stops with breakfast.”

Buffy giggled as he sat down next to her. “Yes, Master.”

“Now that has a nice ring to it,” Spike said with a playful smirk, glancing at her as she giggled again. ‘Stick with that,’ he thought to himself. ‘Her laugh is a million times better than a single tear- especially when you’re the cause of the tears.’

Waiting until she picked up a fork, Spike studied her as she took a bite of the eggs, briefly closing her eyes.

“Not good?” he asked, feeling insecure with his culinary skills.

“Delicious,” she said, turning to look at him. “You have some hidden talents, Mr. Lawson.”

“More than you know, pet,” he replied, raising an eyebrow at her as she blushed. “Let me know if you want to experience anything else.”

“I think I’ll stick with the eggs,” she said with a smile, causing Spike to relax.

‘And we’re back with the easy rapport and innuendos- this is good.’

“So, what’s on the agenda today?” Buffy asked, taking another bite.

“Well…my room kind of needs to be cleaned,” he said in a sheepish tone.

“Considering the things that I pulled on you yesterday, I think I can manage that,” she said, her smile never faltering.

“But they weren’t half as bad as-”

“Spike,” she said in a warning tone, waiting until he turned to look at her. “Let it go.”

Hearing her gentle voice, he finally allowed himself to relax. “Alright, well, if you’re looking for more tasks today… you can always give me a striptease.”

Surprising him as her laughter met his ears, Spike turned to look at her, seeing the look she gave him. “Now, now, Mr. Lawson…what are you gonna do if I take you up on that one of these days?”

Buffy laughed even harder as Spike choked on his food.





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