Chapter 18 – Another Crack at Normalcy


The drive to school the next morning was absolute torture for both of them. Spike wanted so badly to talk to her and make her see that things could be good between them if she’d just give him a chance to prove it. On the other hand, there was a war raging in Buffy’s head, trying to figure out if she really wanted things to be normal again or if she should give Spike a shot.

‘It’s not like you’ve got much to lose,’ she thought. ‘You already slept with him, and he still wants you- that’s a good sign right there. But can you really take another heartbreak? Or handle being with him? This week has been difficult enough- is dating him worth it?’

Spike pulled up in the academy’s parking lot and took a deep breath before looking at her.

“Ready to carry my bag all day?” he asked, and she nodded, taking it from him and getting out of the car. He watched her for a moment and frowned.

‘This isn’t right,’ he thought. ‘I don’t want it to be like this.’ He got out of the car and locked the doors. ‘But this is how she wants it, so I’ll play along until she wants it to change again.’

They walked inside, silent, and Buffy followed him to his locker, grabbing all of the books he’d need and putting them in his backpack. He watched her sad expression and frowned.

‘Why do I always fall for the stubborn ones?’ he thought, crossing his arms. ‘Oh, right- because I like a challenge.’ She closed his locker and looked at him.

“Can I go put my lunch away and say hi to Willow?” she asked quietly, and he nodded, taking his backpack from her. “I thought I was supposed to carry it.”

“Go ahead,” he replied. “I don’t mind if you’re gone for a few minutes.” She raised an eyebrow, and he gave her a small smile. “It’s fine, Buffy. Say hi to Red for me.”

“Thanks,” she said, walking away quickly and going towards her locker. He watched her, tilting his head, and sighed.

‘It was never supposed to be like this,’ he thought.

* * * * *

When it was time for lunch, Buffy got everything she needed for the afternoon before following Spike to the cafeteria. She put his stuff down at his table and raised an eyebrow when Cordelia sat down two seats away from him, with Doyle sitting in the vacant spot soon after.

“Going to join us today?” Cordelia asked, smiling. “It’s always nice to have another girl around.”

“It’s up to you,” Spike said, shrugging. “You can go sit with your friends if you want. I know you don’t get to see them too often during the day.”

‘Why is he being nice today?’ she thought. ‘Isn’t he still upset with me?’

“Actually, I think I’ll sit here,” she said. Doyle stood up and moved to sit on the other side of Cordelia so that the two girls could sit together. “Thanks.” He nodded, smiling.

“So, how’s it going with you and Spike?” Cordelia asked. Buffy grabbed her soda can out of her bag.

“It’s going fine,” Buffy replied quietly. Cordelia raised an eyebrow and looked at Spike.

“Yeah, it’s going well,” Spike said, noticing that Buffy couldn’t open the can. He took it from her and popped it open before giving it back to her. She gave him a small smile and sipped her soda.

“Good,” Cordelia replied. “I’d hate to see the five hundred you spent not be worth it.”

“It went to charity,” Spike said, frowning. “I’d say it’s worth it.” She shrugged. “No?”

“I could’ve had a nice shopping spree with that much,” she said. “But to each his own.”

“I don’t regret bidding how much I did,” he replied. “Besides, I think I got a good deal out of it.” Buffy looked at him, confused. “It’s nice having someone around who helps out.” She studied him for a moment before looking down. “How about your situation? Doyle treating you alright?”

“Yep,” Cordelia replied. “He’s been an absolute doll. When I broke a nail the other day, he paid for me to get a manicure at one of the nicest salons in town.” Doyle smiled as Spike chuckled.

“Yeah, that’s Doyle for you,” he said. “He understands a fashion crisis like no one else.” Even Buffy giggled at that, and he smiled at her.

‘It’s a baby step,’ Spike thought. ‘But I can get this to work. We can make this work.’

* * * * *

After school, Willow met Buffy at her locker, frowning.

“You didn’t eat lunch with us today,” Willow said. “Did I do something wrong?”

“If you had, would I have talked to you during class before?” Buffy asked, smiling softly.

“Probably not,” Willow mumbled. “But what’s the deal, then? Are you going to be a fixture at their table now?”

“Cordelia asked me to join them today,” Buffy replied, shrugging. “I felt bad for her.” Willow looked confused. “She was the only girl there today, and I can’t imagine having to sit with those guys that long and not having someone to talk to.”

“So it’s not going to be a permanent thing?” Willow asked. “You’re not abandoning me for the popular crowd?”

“You know I wouldn’t do that,” Buffy said, closing her locker. “Not even if my life depended on it. We’re best friends, Will- you don’t just walk away from that.” Willow smiled and nodded. “So, did I miss any gossip at lunch?”

“Not really,” she answered. “I just missed you.”

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said sincerely. “I promise to make it up to you.”

“It’s okay, really,” Willow replied, following Buffy towards the front doors of the school. “Besides, it’s not like I never see you at school or talk to you outside of lunchtime.” They both saw Spike approaching and looked at one another. “Are things still going okay between you two?”

“I guess,” Buffy said, looking down. “I don’t really know.” Spike came to stand in front of the two girls.

“Hello, Red,” he said, smiling. “Ready to go home, Summers?”

“Yeah,” she answered. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Willow.” Her friend nodded and watched the two walk outside. She could feel that something was different between them but couldn’t figure out what it was. When she finally realized it, she froze, her eyes widening.

‘She jumped on the train, didn’t she?’ Willow thought.





You must login (register) to review.