Disclaimer: All the characters presented in this chapter are the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions, Inc. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter rating: PG-13
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Editor’s note: Our continued thanks to those few but generous souls who review our fic whenever we’re able to get a new chapter up. Chapter five should be up in no later than three weeks, hopefully sooner. In the meantime, please enjoy this solo effort from our youngest and brightest writer...
Chapter Four
"All's Fair in Love and Slaying...”
Written by Jules
*
"All right, who rented this?" Buffy snorted in disgust.
"I did," Anya answered. "It looked scary, and you told me to get a scary movie. I thought we'd all be scared."
"I wouldn't call Dracula 2000 scary, Ahn," Xander explained. "I'd call it-"
"Crap?" Buffy finished for him.
"Yeah," he grinned, "Something like that. But hey, it’s movie night…a night for movies, fun, and good ol’ Scooby-"
"This depiction of Dracula is all wrong. They don’t know the first thing about Vlad," Anya interrupted.
"He needs to be scary for the sake of the plot," Tara pointed out.
"There’s a plot?" Buffy asked archly.
Willow shrugged. "I say we stop the movie now and forget we ever watched it."
"We can't stop now! Don't you want to know how it ends?" Xander persisted, pretty obviously wanting the gang to be together for at least little while longer.
Buffy felt badly for him, she really did. She knew from talking to Anya that all summer long he had dreamed of having things back to the way they were; having the group united as a whole. He'd talked of little else apparently and now they'd barely had time to relish the fact that she was back, the group once again complete, before Willow had moved out and Giles left. Just rounding up everyone tonight had been nearly impossible to pull off-and it seemed that there was no way he was going to let it all fall apart now.
"Why do you want to watch it so badly? Dracula made you his spider-eating man-bitch, remember?" Willow remarked curtly.
"Okay, no more movie," Xander agreed, not appearing thrilled to have that brought up again. "Anyone want more popcorn?"
"No, thanks," Tara declined. "I should really be going to bed. I'm about to fall asleep any second," she yawned. "Good night everyone."
"Not yet! The night is still young. Who wants to play Twister?" Xander asked with forced enthusiasm. "Although I’m not much for bending. Who’s up for Scrabble?"
"I should probably get going too," Willow added. "I have my British and Irish lit class tomorrow morning."
"Skip it!" Xander practically cried. "Friends are more important than the Irish!"
The only response he got was a bored eye-roll from Willow as she turned her attention back to Buffy.
"How's the class going? You didn't finish telling me about it," Buffy mentioned as she carried empty soda cans into the kitchen.
"Oh, it's great!" Will gushed, following Buffy. "You know me, I love just about everything that has to do with books. Plus, the professor's amazing. He's actually from Ireland, you know- a senior fellow at Trinity College in Dublin, I think. He's totally brilliant."
"He's a creep," Tara muttered.
"What did you say?" Willow snapped.
"You heard me. I said I don't like him. He gives off big creepy vibes," Tara replied as she headed towards the stairs. "Good night," she repeated tiredly.
Willow hastily cleared dishes from the counter. "Whatever," she spat. "Tara just hates any guy I talk to-" she turned fiercely, her elbow knocking a plate to the floor.
"Let me get something to sweep that up with," Buffy offered.
"No, it's fine. I broke it, I can fix it," Willow insisted. She bent down and waved her hand over the countless pieces scattered across the tile. The sections came together, making the plate good as new. As she handed it to Buffy, she added "Sorry about that- I just get kind of edgy around Tara. Things are pretty weird between us."
"No need to apologize, Will," Buffy replied, forcing a grin as she took the plate from her. She placed it in a cabinet and turned back to Willow. Weird was the mildest way of describing the tension that existed between the two wiccans. Tara had made a point of ignoring Willow all night, and the red-haired witch had returned the favor with gusto. Dawn hadn't helped anything by openly siding with Tara, either.
"You know I'm here if you need to talk to someone, right?" Buffy meant every word of it, of course but she wasn't sure if her best friend believed her. They hadn’t really talked much since she'd come back. They hadn’t talked at all since Willow had stormed out that night.
"I know," the witch responded, in a manner that seemed just a bit too strained to Buffy.
"Sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to say bye," Xander explained as he stuck his head in the kitchen. "I gotta get some sleep so I can get up nice and early and do manly labor. You guys busy later this week?"
"I’ll make sure to take a day off from my busy schedule," Buffy joked, giving Xander a hug. "Just stop by when you get a chance."
"I gotta head out too, Buffy," Willow admitted. "I’ll keep you updated on my class, though."
"Sounds great," Buffy said, and genuinely meant it.
"That movie left me so unfulfilled," Anya pouted as they headed for the door. She looked hopefully at Xander. "Will you fulfill me?"
Buffy laughed as she opened the door for them. "Next time we have a movie night, I'll pick the flick."
"Catch ya later, Buff," Xander said before stepping out, obviously in a hurry to fulfill Anya.
Buffy waved a good-bye, slowly closing the door and sighing. Keeping everyone together and civil in the same room had been quite a chore- she felt completely wiped out. Turning around to see Dawn sleeping on the couch, she quietly cleaned the living room a bit more before gently picking Dawn up and carrying her upstairs. Once she had tucked Dawn in, Buffy realized how extremely tired she was. She collapsed onto her bed and felt her heavy eyelids begin to close.
Who knew being alive was could be so exhausting?
**
"The paper must be at eight to ten pages long and should cover the rise and fall of the Heroine," Dr. McDermott informed his class. "Just a reminder: fooling with the margins and using large font won't cut it. This is an upper level course, people." He added, flashing his students a grin. "Have a nice day."
Willow remained seated as the other students filed out of the class, lost in thought.
"Ms. Rosenberg?"
Willow's head snapped up, and she found herself meeting McDermott's intense gaze. There was something about his piercing hazel eyes that captivated her during lectures, yet now she felt helpless under his stare.
"Can I have a word with you?"
"Sure," Willow replied, hastily gathering her things. She was in big trouble, she sensed it.
"I'll be honest with you," he began as she reached his desk, "You're my best student. Some of the papers I get in here are downright pathetic, and it's a nice break to read some quality work once in a while."
Willow found herself somewhat speechless after his compliment. She had been expecting major criticism for zoning out, not praise for her work. She thought he was a spectacular instructor, and almost always found herself completely engrossed in his lectures. Willow really admired him, yet never thought he noticed her. She was just a 'Plain Jane' that sat in the fourth row and never raised her hand. With a small smile on her face, she managed to mutter a thank you.
"However, lately your work has been somewhat lacking. I'm thinking it may be due to your classroom daydreams," he stated, slowly removing his glasses and rubbing his temples.
Willow started intently at her feet. Here it comes, she thought. She tried to concentrate in class, but always found herself re-hashing the fight she had with Tara when they broke up. She knew her work had been lacking, but her brain just turned to mush when she thought of everything that happened with Tara.
"I don't mean to sound harsh," the professor explained. He gently touched Willow's shoulder. She raised her eyes to meet his, and for the first time looked at him without his glasses. His words seemed sincere; his voice soothing. "I'm just worried about you. Is everything alright?"
Normally, Willow would have promised him she was fine and that she'd improve right away. For some reason however, she couldn't bring herself to lie. No- she didn’t want to lie. The past few months had been an emotional roller coaster, and Willow was not okay. And for the first time in a very long time, someone was asking her how she felt. Someone cared about her. Someone wanted to listen. So she decided to talk.
"Actually, no. I'm not alright."
Dr. McDermott removed his hand from her shoulder and sat on the edge of his desk. "What's wrong?"
"I've just been under a lot of stress lately…" she glanced at him, and noticed how worried he looked.
He wasn't just playing the role of a concerned teacher, he really seemed like he wanted to help. That had never happened to her before. Her instructors had always praised her, sure. They adored her-she had always been the ideal student, but being the 'ideal student' wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Teachers soon expected you to always do outstanding work, to have the right answers, and always assumed everything in your life was perfect. Even she had problems, and McDermott was the one who both noticed and cared.
"And I've had some serious relationship problems."
"Well I can assure you anyone who doesn't appreciate how lucky they are to have you is a bloody fool," he replied.
Willow smiled at his remark, feeling good for the first time that day.
"I'm sure you have another class to get to, so I'll let you go," he finished. "But if there's ever anything bothering you, let me know."
He reached out and lightly touched her hand. Willow suddenly felt slightly giddy, and her arm tingled. She softly squeezed his hand. "Thanks. I appreciate it Dr. McDermott. I really do." She said rather shyly.
"The name's Crispin." He said. "And anytime. That's what I'm here for."
He flashed her another grin before she headed out. She found herself returning the smile, her spirits lifted.
***
"So how did you punish him?"
"That one was easy-eternity with his mother," Anya explained.
Dawn wrinkled her nose. "That doesn’t sound very vengeancey."
Anya shrugged. "You obviously never met her."
"Hey guys," Willow greeted as she entered the Magic Box. "Slow day?" She remarked, noticing the lack of customers. She felt great-a lot happier since her brief talk with her professor last week. She hadn’t seen a whole lot of the Magic Box lately, and decided today was as good a day as any to swing by.
"Yes, but it gave me plenty of time to re-organize everything," Anya replied happily.
"And we talked about Anya’s demon days," Dawn piped in. "Did you know that there are over a hundred uncomfortable and embarrassing rashes that are commonly used for vengeance?"
"Have to say I was blissfully unaware of that detail," Willow responded.
"Rashes are nothing," Anya replied. "Just wait until I tell you about boils and warts."
"I think I’ll respectfully decline from that conversation," Willow teased. "Is Buffy in the back?"
"Yeah," Dawn answered. "She’s doing the whole training thing." She turned to Anya, "So, what’s the best place for a wart?"
"Face is best for public humiliation. Especially hairy ones," She explained. "But the second best place would have to be that hard-to-reach spot on your back."
"You mean this spot?" Dawn asked, twirling around and trying to touch it but failing.
"That’d be it," Anya affirmed as Willow went to check up on Buffy. "And then of course, warts are great on feet…"
"Buffy?" Willow called out as she cautiously entered the training room. Making sure no weapons were being chucked through the air, she walked all the way inside and closed the door.
"Hey Wills," Buffy breathed in between punches. "How was class today?"
"Just fascinating...until it got really boring."
"I know how that goes," Buffy empathized as she stepped away from the punching bag.
"Although, I’ve been able to focus a lot more since last week."
"Last week?" Buffy arched an eyebrow.
"Yeah- he caught me day dreaming and talked to me after class," Willow explained.
"Was there lots of chastising?" Buffy asked as she stretched out her wrists.
"Actually, no," Willow responded. "He-"
"Can you move to the side? I want to practice some tumbling," Buffy asked.
"Oh, sure," Willow stepped aside, "Sorry."
Buffy gracefully executed a round-off back handspring, and Willow continued. "It was amazing, Buffy. He totally cared about me and what was wrong."
"Uh-huh," Buffy mumbled as she started another tumbling pass.
"He was attentive and completely focused on what I had to say…"
"Yup," Buffy replied dully.
"…And you aren’t really listening," Willow said as Buffy threw a few roundhouse kicks at an invisible opponent.
"Uh-huh," Buffy replied indifferently, focused on her moves.
"Silly me, what with interrupting your training and all," Willow remarked bitterly. "Since I don’t have anything important to say I’ll leave you alone," she snapped, not waiting for a reply as she left the room.
"…had to suffer public humiliation. I’m talking a speech in front of his whole town, completely naked."
"Now that is cruel," Dawn laughed.
"Hey Dawnie, wanna go get something to eat?" Willow offered. "My treat."
Dawn fidgeted and refused to meet Willow's gaze. "Um…I-I can’t. Tara and I already made plans to go window shopping today, and-"
"That’s fine," Willow said brusquely.
"You can help out here if you want," Anya suggested. "But no touching of the money."
The familiar chime of the bell above the door hung in the air as a moderately tall man with chestnut hair entered. His posture was very balanced, very classy. His cheekbones were finely chiseled, however his features were more delicate than rugged.
"Welcome to the Magic Box! We’re running a special sale on Love Potions: buy a book of different spells and get the ingredients at ten percent off! We also got a new shipment of Mandrake Root yesterday-"
"Ms. Rosenberg?" Crispin McDermott asked incredulously.
"Hey!" Willow exclaimed as he brushed past Anya to speak with her. "What inspired you to swing by here? And it's Willow," she added, blushing just a tiny bit.
"Okay, well, um...Willow, things of the occult have always intrigued me. The books are just fascinating," he replied, "And you know how much I love books."
"We have a great selection here," Willow said. "You could borrow one any time," she offered.
"Or you could buy them," Anya suggested. "Buy three, get the fourth half off…"
"Actually, I came in here for some candles and other materials for meditation," Crispin explained, grinning at Anya. "But that sounds like a great deal. I’ll come back when I have more money."
"You meditate?" Willow asked, obviously surprised.
"Regularly," he nodded. "Helps clear my mind and calm my nerves."
"Well, when I meditate I use aromatherapy," she suggested. "The smells are much more distinct."
"What kind of scents do you have?"
"Let’s see…" Willow glanced at the selection, removing a tiny bottle. "This is one of my personal favorites." She uncapped it and held it up to his nose. "What does that remind you of?"
He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes and thinking. "It smells…exotic," he decided, opening his eyes. "It reminds me of flowers, beaches…" He gazed straight at her. "Seclusion from the rest of the world. Paradise."
Willow smiled. "That’s why I like it so much." She sorted through the rest of the bottles, picking a different one. "What do you think of this?"
After a faint whiff, he wrinkled his nose and gagged. "What is that?" He asked, backing away. "And who uses it?"
"It’s ginger," Willow pouted, "And I like it."
"I’ll let you have it then," he teased. "Is there anything else?"
"Yeah," she replied. "What does this remind you of?"
He took the bottle from her and breathed in slowly. "It’s vanilla," he grinned. "It reminds me of you."
"Does that mean you’re going to buy it?" Anya interjected.
Crispin cleared his throat. "Yes, I’ll take the vanilla and exotic oils."
"Great! I’ll ring that up for you," she smiled, heading towards the cash register. "A new order of oils should be in next week. You can come back and smell them with Willow if you’d like."
He nervously scratched the back of his neck. "I think this should last me for a while, but thanks anyway," he declined, paying her.
"Thanks for choosing the Magic Box," Anya said appreciatively. "One-stop shopping for all your mystical needs!"
He said a quick good-bye to Willow as he headed out the door.
"So what does he smell like?" Buffy asked, leaning against the training room door.
"My guess is Old Spice," Anya chimed in. "He looks like a spicy guy."
"Shut up," Willow ordered defensively, trying in vain to hide her flushed face.
"I thought it was sweet," Dawn said, and after a pause continued, "And somewhat kinky."
"What’s kinky?" Tara asked as she walked through the door.
"Willow’s professor," Anya offered; oblivious to the way Tara’s face fell.
"There was nothing kinky about it," Willow hissed. "And I’d appreciate it if you’d all get off my case."
"We’re just teasing," Buffy argued.
So you have time to harass me, but no time to listen when I have something to say? Willow thought, growing increasingly angry by the second. "And yet, you’re not funny," Willow snapped, not waiting for a response as she stormed out of the shop. Once outside, she paused to take a deep breath. McDermott was only a few shops down, staring at something in the display window.
"Crispin!" She called, "Wait up!"
****
"I don’t even understand what your problem is. You’ve worn things twice as slutty when you were my age, plus you were dating a vampire. Spike and I are just hanging out," Dawn complained.
"First: this is so not about me, so don’t change the subject. And second: you are not going out wearing that tank top, so you can either change or stay home," Buffy countered.
"But-"
"And don’t insult my intelligence by saying that Mom would have let you wear that, because we both know she wouldn’t," Buffy interrupted. Dawn’s scowl only intensified, so she tried to lighten the mood. "I was only dead a few months, not born yesterday."
"That’s exactly my point!" Dawn exclaimed. "You were…gone," she said, still not comfortable talking about the summer. "You weren’t around, and I managed by myself. I can take care of myself, and I can wear what I want," she insisted, clearly not about to budge on the subject.
"Dawn." Buffy said, voice low and steady. "Change."
Dawn placed her hands firmly on her hips.
"Now," Buffy ordered, growing angry at the continued defiance.
"No," Dawn replied in an equally rigid tone.
"Fine," Buffy shrugged. "You can just stay home."
"Why are you doing this?" Dawn asked. "Do you want to make sure I don’t have any fun? Do you want me to be unhappy? Because you’re doing one hell of a job."
Her words cut Buffy deeply. "You know I care about you more than anything. Your safety always comes first, and believe me when I tell you to cover up. I’m looking out for you, not trying to hurt you."
"Yeah, and you’re smothering me," she replied. "Be a good Mom and back off," she sneered.
A hollow tapping reverberated through the Summers home, interrupting Buffy. She glared at Dawn and hissed, "Don’t you ever talk to me like that. Now, go change your clothes before you get downstairs if you ever want to leave the house again."
They continued staring at one another, silently challenging the other to speak. After a brief pause, the rapping continued.
"I’m coming!" Buffy called, rushing down the stairs to answer the door. Before she reached it, the knocking grew louder and more impatient.
"I’m not deaf!" Buffy cried, exasperated. She flung the door open to reveal Spike standing restlessly on the porch.
"Evening, Buffy. Is Dawn ready?"
"Yeah, she just…wait. Where are you two going?"
"Little Bit and I have a sort of weekly date. Dinner, ice cream…lots of wholesome, legal fun."
"Oh, right," Buffy mumbled, feeling like a complete idiot for forgetting. Dawn had mentioned all of this to her before. She always looked forward to it, couldn’t wait for it. The days in between their outings dragged for her, and she was always in a good mood upon returning from a night out with Spike. It pleased Buffy to see Dawn so happy. Setting aside one night a week was actually a brilliant idea, and had become a tradition over the summer. While Buffy was dead, Dawn had Spike to count on. He was there every Tuesday at eight, ready to devote the night to her. He was there to listen, to make her laugh, to be her constant when everything around her was confusing.
"Hey Spike," Dawn welcomed as she came down the stairs. "Where are we going tonight?"
"Nowhere unless you put something on over that tank-top," he replied frankly. Upon seeing her eyes roll, he innocently added, "It’s cold outside."
"Alright," Dawn complied, getting a denim coat from the front hall closet. "Can we go now?"
Shocked by how Dawn listened to Spike and not her, Buffy found herself seething with anger.
"I don’t believe you!" Buffy cried. "I had to spend 20 minutes arguing with you just so you can change when Spike says so?"
"What can I say?" Dawn shrugged. "Spike just knows what he’s talking about."
"That’s it. You aren’t going anywhere, young lady."
"Stop me," Dawn threatened, walking past her.
Buffy’s hand shot out instantly, grabbing Dawn’s forearm. "I really don’t think you want me to."
That was all it took for the two to get into a full-fledged screaming match.
"Stop treating me like I’m only two years old!"
"You are only two years old!"
"You were the one being a stubborn brat!" Dawn yelled.
"I was right all along! It just took you a while to figure that out!" Buffy argued.
The argument continued until it boiled down to petty insults such as "You’re an idiot!" and "I hate you!" Their voices continued to climb, shouts turning to screams and cries turning into wails, neither of them bothering to notice just how annoyed Spike was obviously becoming at the sight and sounds of their petty bickering.
The vampire took a step forward, raised his voice, and asked, "Can’t we all just get along?"
Silence.
"One-hundred and twenty-something years of snarky insults and putdowns, and that’s the best you can do? A Rodney King impression?" Buffy asked incredulously.
"It did the bloody trick, didn’t it?" Spike retorted. "It got the two of you to finally shut your traps."
"I want to go, Spike," Dawn insisted. "Now."
"Not yet. Apologize first," he answered.
"What?"
"Say you’re sorry, Niblet."
For a moment, Dawn looked like she would defy him, but then she rolled her eyes, and muttered an apology.
Buffy was grinning too much, basking in the fact that Spike had sided with her. Her smile vanished when he said, "You too, Slayer."
She shot him a glare which would have knocked him dead if only looks could, and if he hadn't already been dead anyway, then apologized in turn.
"I still don’t want you going out tonight," Buffy added. "Not after what you said to me."
"Oh, piffle," Spike retorted. "Little bit’s coming with me, and so are you."
Buffy stared at Spike, waiting for an explanation while Dawn’s jaw hung open with shock.
"Come on, Slayer. It'll be good for you to get out of this sodding house for a bit. Shake some of the cobwebs out. Enjoy yourself for a change."
Buffy stood there for a moment, suddenly wanting to take him up on his offer, but remembering what Giles had said about staying away from Spike. Oh screw it, she thought. Giles isn't here right now. "Okay. Fine. Whatever." She finally said. I guess one little night out won't hurt anybody.
"Now, this way, 'bit' and I keep our date, and you can make sure she doesn’t have too much fun," he smirked. Dawn stormed past him, once again rolling her eyes as she waited outside for Buffy to grab a jacket.
"But I’m not trying to ruin all her fun," Buffy replied defensively as she emerged with Spike, closing the door behind her. "I’m just trying to be a good parent…"
"You’ll make a lovely Mum, pet," he assured her, his statement punctuated by a heavy sigh from Dawn. "Teenagers are supposed to rebel. It’s part of human condition, I suppose. Reach a certain age, and agreeing on anything is practically impossible."
"I’m not rebelling," Dawn pouted bitterly.
"See what I mean?" said Spike smugly as he ushered them both off the front porch and out onto the sidewalk. “Now ladies, let me show you what fun is really all about.”
*****
"So, what do we learn from that book?"
"All humans are inherently evil."
"Precisely!" Crispin agreed. "The point is that without the strict rules of civilization, we fall back on primal instincts. We fit into natural roles. For example: one boy became the leader, others hunters, another the brains of the group. However, knowing that they made all the rules, that there were no adults to stop them, these boys-these children- turned to a darker primal instinct. You saw what happened to the brains of the group."
Willow nodded. "I always thought that book was fascinating, even in ninth grade when everyone else thought it was dumb."
Crispin flashed her a wide, gorgeous smile. "That just shows how you’ve always been ahead of your classmates."
Willow smiled, enjoying the bright sun and cool breeze as they walked across campus. "I’m not that much smarter than everyone else," she replied.
"Of course you are," he insisted. "I noticed it right away."
"Yeah, well…you're different from any other teacher I've had."
"How so?"
They stopped walking, and Willow turned to face him. "For one thing, you don't abuse your educator status. I've had some teachers who favored kids and graded unfairly. You also don't assign lame projects. One of my teachers in High school actually wanted us to write a letter to Abe Lincoln, assuming he's alive today. And I'm like, 'So, is he supposed to be 137 or-' " Willow stopped talking when she spotted Tara across campus. With another girl.
"Why don't we sit down?" Willow suggested as she eyed the two girls, her knees suddenly feeling dangerously weak. The sun beat down on Tara's golden hair, and suddenly she seemed twice as beautiful as Willow remembered her. Quickly doing a once-over of the girl she was with, Willow noticed her stunning black hair (which was too shiny), her Abercrombie shirt (which was too tight), and her faded denim skirt (which was way too short).
What a skank, Willow thought darkly. The two of them were talking, laughing, joking. Clearly, they were happy and enjoying themselves. It wasn't fair.
Anger and jealousy filled Willow. A breeze rustled the leaves in the tree above her, and she shivered despite how warm it was in the shade. In fact, she was freezing. Seeing Tara like that had frozen her heart, consumed it with a somber sadness.
"Willow?" Crispin said softly, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good," she replied, still focused on Tara.
He seemed to know better, and kindly touched her hand. "Are you sure?"
As soon as his hand touched hers, Willow felt…warm. The ice that had encircled her heart began to thaw, and the look of pure compassion she found in his eyes brought a smile to her face.
Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Tara and the girl part, going their separate ways. Tara was walking towards them, in fact. Good, Willow thought, I'll give her a taste of her own medicine.
She reached forward and covered Crispin's hand with her own. "You know, Crispin McDermott," Willow grinned, rubbing her thumb in a lazy circle over his hand, "That’s the other thing that makes you different…you care about your students."
"Not true. I couldn’t care less about the chap sitting next to you. Or the person in front of you. Or anyone else in the lecture hall, for that matter."
"I bet you say that to all the girls."
"What other girls?" He asked innocently, and Willow giggled.
******
Tara stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Willow with Crispin. Giggling.
They were pretty much holding hands, her body language clearly flirtatious. He said something else to her, and Tara watched, stunned, as Willow blushed. Intense pain clutched her heart, a wave of jealousy swept over her body.
Willow and another... man.
Tears stung in her eyes as Tara wondered how long Willow had felt this way about her teacher. She also wondered how strong those feelings were. Strong enough for her to decide she's met someone better? If that was the case, there was no use obsessing over it. Willow had found someone else. She looked happy. He looked….extremely pleased.
Willow turned her head slightly and made brief eye contact with Tara. She faced Crispin again, this time a smug smile encased her lips. Tara's blood boiled. I can't believe it, she seethed inwardly, She's just making me jealous.
Tara quickly regained her composure; not allowing Willow's petty tricks hurt her. Slowly, deliberately, she walked towards them.
You still want to hurt me, don't you? She thought, You haven't changed a bit. Tara was nearing them now, and Willow's laugh coincidentally grew louder. You think I'm so damn feeble I can't see through your lies? Tara kept her gaze in front of her, she had already seen enough. Two can play this game, she thought as she passed Willow and Crispin, not looking at them at all. Her head held high, she walked right by, completely ignoring the two. And it looks like I just won.
This time, the smug smile was plastered on Tara's face.
********
Crispin watched as Willow's face fell. He was no idiot. He knew what had just happened. Willow's hands dropped from his, her head hung low in dejection.
"Willow," his voice dripping with worry, "What's wrong?"
She could not bring herself to meet his gaze. "Nothing…I, uh-" she mumbled.
"Willow," he repeated, voice low and smooth. This time she glanced up, her eyes brimming with tears. Her lower lip trembled. Perfect.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He offered. "I’ll listen as long as you want me to."
His words stuck a chord with her, and Willow was grateful he was there with her. The way he focused all his attention on her, the way he was ready to listen, to talk, to soothe her pain-- it all reminded her very much of Tara. Sometimes over the summer, especially in the beginning, Willow had been very unsure of herself. She had to take care of the bot, and Dawn, and patrolling. It wasn’t easy, and occasionally she felt helpless. When she felt her absolute lowest, Tara would be there, ready to give her a boost.
This time, however, Tara made her feel miserable, and Crispin was there to support her. She wanted to tell him everything-- from her vampire slaying best friend to her fights with her Wiccan ex-girlfriend. Too complicated to tell from the beginning, Willow decided to talk about Tara. Tara, who had been her emotional center for so long, who had been the beginning of so many new and exciting experiences. Tara, who she no longer had.
"I lost her," she stated. Her lip quivered. She looked at him, her vulnerability reflecting in her eyes. "I lost all of them," she whispered, as if saying so quietly would make it untrue.
He shifted in his seat, turning more towards her. Tentatively, he reached out and brushed aside a lock of hair, letting his finger trail down her cheek. "Lost who?"
"Everyone. Tara, Giles…" her voice broke. "They look at me like I'm some sort of monster."
Her entire body trembled now, and Crispin realized she had just completely let her guard down. She looked so frail, so completely delicate, that he yearned to hold her. The small coffee table between them kept him from embracing her, so he gently squeezed her hand. She shyly pressed back.
Seeing Tara walk past her without so much as a glance in her direction really shook her up. It crushed her to think that Tara didn't even care about her, or who she was with. Is this really the end? Willow thought miserably, Have I lost her forever?
She had been edgy since she spotted that other girl -that tramp- with Tara. Her heart rate had picked up; her entire body had grown tense. As anger had welled up inside of her, she felt an urge to use magick to destroy something, anything. As soon as Crispin's hands draped over hers, all of her rage, her surge of power, vanished. She didn't feel anxious or irritated anymore, she only felt relaxed. Calmed.
She spoke up again, telling him how empty she had felt lately. How it stung when Buffy suggested she leave. How her best friend since kindergarten could barely look at her anymore. She told him all of this, and he hung on to her every word. Willow had opened up the floodgates, emotions she had been bottling up for so long poured out of her. It felt so good to finally talk about these things, to voice them to someone who would listen and not blame her.
Willow looked at him, at his stunning eyes behind his glasses, his light brown hair slightly covering his forehead, and smiled. She could get used to seeing that face, recognizing it as one of the few friendly ones she knew.
It seemed like he was the only one to understand her these days. She rarely spoke with Xander; he was too busy with wedding arrangements. Anya was too unimportant. Dawn frequently avoided her. Giles was in England, and she and Buffy lacked the connection they had shared for so many years.
Who else did she have left?
********
The bell clanged piercingly as Tara stormed into the Magic Box.
Dawn glanced up from her homework. "What's wrong?"
"What's the deal with Willow and Crispin?"
"What-pin?" Xander asked.
"Crispin McDermott. Her lit professor."
"I fell for a teacher once. Did I ever tell you about that? Turned out she was a big insect-"
"Yes, I heard the story, Xander. Although I doubt Crispin's a praying mantis."
"Well," he replied cautiously, "Maybe she really likes him."
"He is quite attractive," Anya pitched in. Off Xander's glare, she added, "I mean, for single women. And uh, for straight ones," as Tara joined in the glaring.
"I saw them together today," Tara continued. "I think she was trying to make me jealous."
"Did it ever occur to you, Tara, that maybe my actions don't revolve around you?"
Tara spun around at the sound of Willow's icy voice.
"Whoa, who turned down the thermostat?" Buffy quipped as she emerged from the training room, noting the chilly atmosphere.
"I can't believe you," Willow hissed. "How can you be angry with me because of Crispin when you're walking around campus with another girl?"
"What are you talking about?" Tara realized what Willow meant, "Do you mean Troy?"
"If that’s what you call her."
"Troy is my friend, Will. We met in class," her eyes narrowed. "But you saw me with her and decided to make me jealous. I knew it!"
"Or maybe I just enjoy his company. Did you ever think of that?" Willow countered. "Maybe I enjoy the way I can speak my mind to him and he doesn't judge me with some holier-than-thou attitude."
"I see- it's all my fault...again," Tara sighed. "Isn't that right? It's always my fault when you do something wrong. It's my fault I'm not powerful enough to do a resurrection spell, so you have to do it. It's my fault I don't like the way you've been treating me, so we have to break up. And I guess it's my fault you decided the best way to hurt me would be to flirt with some guy you barely know."
"This has nothing to do with gender."
"Doesn't it?" Tara retorted. "To see you with a girl is a slap in the face, but another man? That's a punch in the gut. I guess it didn't take all that much for you to catch that boat back to ‘boys town’ after all, did it?"
"Oh please," Willow shot back. "Stop with the poor, martyred lesbian routine, Tara. It's such a tired cliché."
"Guys? Maybe you should cool it for a while," Buffy suggested, becoming appalled at the venom being thrown around between her friends. "I know that when I get emotional, the best thing I can do is-"
"And once again, you've managed to make this about you," Willow snapped at Buffy, her voice filled with ridicule. "You know what? I don't care what works for you." "I'm just trying to help."
"You really help out a lot these days, don’t you?" Willow remarked snidely. "When I actually want to talk with you, you choose a punching bag over me. You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me."
"Willow," Xander said tensely, trying to warn her that she had just crossed a major line.
"No. You know what? I've had it. I'm sick of being ignored, chastised, and blamed by all of you. I'm done." With that, she stormed out.
"Should someone go after her?" Dawn asked quietly, extremely shaken up by the confrontation.
"No, Buffy's right- w-we should let her cool down," Tara answered.
"You want me to talk to her, Buff?" Xander put in. "After what she said…"
"She has a point, Xander," Buffy replied, concealing the pain Willow's words had inflicted. "I did ignore her the other day. I'll stop by her dorm tonight, after patrol."
"I’m really worried about her," Dawn spoke up. "She’s changed a lot this summer. For the first time, I saw something really dark in her."
"What do you mean, Dawnie?" Tara asked.
"For one thing, I’ve never seen her so angry and possessive. It scared me to see you guys fight." She glanced down at the work in front of her, scribbling in the margins. "I was afraid to say the wrong thing, to make her upset. When she did the resurrection spell, I’ll never forget the ugly edge to her words, or the way she looked at me with those cold eyes," Dawn shivered.
"She needs to know that we care about her, and that we are worried. Hopefully she'll feel like talking to me tonight," Buffy responded. "I’m sure she's going through some difficult things right now, and needs her friends to support her." Buffy looked at Dawn reassuringly. "It'll be okay."
"I don't really think it'll be okay," Anya piped up.
Thank you, Captain Obvious, Buffy thought, but instead said, "Why not?"
"Willow's been like this for a while. It goes deeper than 'difficult things'. I'm not sure how we can help her when so much of it is her own personal conflicts."
Buffy sighed. Anya had a point, however bluntly she stated it. "We can't expect for things to change right away," she agreed, "Knowing we're here for her is the first step."
"Maybe," Xander spoke up, "But are we really here for her?" He began to pace, "Granted, things have been very rough for everyone this past summer. I'll admit that sometimes I focused all my attention on the wedding, and turned Willow down when she wanted to get together."
"I miss her," Tara stated, voice filled with heartache. An unspoken understanding passed through the group as they related to what Tara said. She didn't only miss her in the physical sense; she missed the person Willow used to be. "I'm also really worried," she made eye contact with everyone in the room, "And I hope it's not too late to help."
*********
Fury filled Willow's veins, pumped through her body at a rapid pace. She could not believe her friends-those fools. How long had she been good, trusty old Willow? Since the very beginning, before they were even called the Scoobies, she had been supportive and dependable. If anyone needed help, she was there. Always cooperative, she'd scan the Internet in an instant for information; do a spell for added protection. So where were her friends when she needed them?
Buffy said she wasn't happy in the afterlife. How could she have the nerve to be so ungrateful? Willow freed her, saved her from eternal unhappiness, and Buffy repaid her by kicking her out of the house and ignoring her? Unbelievable.
Willow stormed through the streets of Sunnydale, not paying any attention to the people surrounding her. They were all unimportant; weak and stupid. Speaking of simple, what did Xander think he was doing back there? Warning her? As if he could stop her. Ever since the engagement, he'd shown a complete lack of backbone. Still, when things get rough he always sided with Buffy. His precious little Buffy, who was only back in his life because of her-Willow.
A sharp breeze cut through the material of Willow's shirt, causing her to shiver. For the first time this evening, she glanced around. It was a typical sight, people filling the streets, oblivious to the creatures that stalked the night. What a bunch of idiots, with their selective amnesia. How long would it take for people to finally notice the strange things that go on in Sunnydale? They were oblivious to the truth, clueless to the sort of power that seemingly ordinary people around them held.
Glancing at her watch, Willow realized she had been out for hours. She had no intention of turning in for the night though, she felt wired-more awake then ever. She continued walking, her body filled with adrenaline. She bumped into pedestrians, refusing to mutter an apology when she had more imperative things to think about. Voices echoed in the late night air, mixing together, blending to form subtle background noise.
"What's a nice girl like yourself doing out alone on a night like this?"
The sound of his voice alone pierced through the din, causing a sly smile to form on her lips. She turned around and practically crooned, "You following me?"
"I could ask you the same question," Crispin grinned. "I live right down the street."
"What an uncanny coincidence," she quipped. "You headed somewhere?"
"Actually, I was on the way to check out new arrivals at the book store," he admitted, at Willow’s confused look, "I know, I know. I’m a, umm what's the word you Yanks use-a geek?"
"Yep, that’s us ‘yanks’ to a tee, and it’s all right, because I’m a geek at heart," she assured him, smiling widely. "See, we really do have too much in common."
**********
Buffy felt a moment of satisfaction as she slammed her fist into a vampire's nose.
"Come on, Slayer, is that the best you can do?" The vampire taunted, stumbling backwards.
"No," she replied casually, blocking a kick and introducing her stake to the vamp's unbeating heart, "But you're not really worth the effort."
She continued through the cemetery, mulling over the day's events. She was having a difficult time placing her finger on what was so different about Willow. When Buffy returned, she wanted to be with her friends, her loved ones. Of course, it hadn't been easy- she was disoriented at first, trying to ease herself back into life. Maybe she had subconsciously overlooked Willow, giving her the idea that she didn't care.
That was just ridiculous. Buffy would always care about Willow- she'd been her best friend since her move to Sunnydale. But those things she said, Buffy thought, That was not Willow.
Willow had never been so icy, so cold and cruel. Buffy picked up on her odd behavior immediately, but decided it was best not to bring it up. She soon found she couldn't ignore it anymore- her fights with Tara were unsettling. What was even more unnerving was her casual use of magick. It seemed like Willow searched for reasons to use it. Changing outfits, doing the dishes, cooking-she even almost froze time once because she was late to the movies.
Sometimes Buffy thought her memories of Willow as a struggling, pencil-levitating Wicca were false. She was so powerful now; so strong- I couldn't even stop her.
The realization made Buffy shiver. When did I start thinking of Willow as a threat? She wondered, wandering towards Willow's dorm. When did so much change?
Walking through the streets Buffy had seen countless times, she felt completely lost. A stranger in her own town, she lacked support and guidance. Buffy missed Giles. She missed the way she could always count on him for an answer, the way he'd always clean off his glasses, his sporadic outbursts of "Dear Lord"…
Hell, she even missed that stupid sombrero he wore on Halloween.
Most of all, she missed his love. He had crossed the line from Watcher to surrogate father a long time ago, and Buffy was devastated when he left. She didn’t care in the least if some British guy had kicked the bucket- she had kicked the bucket, and now she was back. And Giles left. She didn’t really buy his whole I-need-to-play-Sherlock-Holmes-and-solve-murder-mysteries excuse. Her being alive again scared him, and he needed to get away. She could see it in his eyes.
Usually, Giles had a slightly confused, somewhat irritated expression whenever Buffy made a mistake, or lied to him about something. Ever since she came back, that seemed to have been his only expression. Well, except when he talked about Willow. Then he wrinkled his forehead and really looked pissed.
That’s right- Willow. The whole reason Buffy was walking towards campus right now, the reason she started thinking of Giles in the first place. God, how she wished Giles were here to help her. To tell her what to do.
"Slayer!" Her train of thought was shattered.
"Yes?"
"Are you ready to die?" The newly- turned vampire threatened, switching into his game face and rushing towards Buffy.
"Oh, please," she replied, blocking a blow and punching him fiercely in the stomach. "If I had a dollar for every time I heard that-,” she continued, easily knocking him around. "I mean, is it so hard to be original?" She asked, shoving him against a crypt.
The vampire responded with a snarl and lunged again, which led to him being impaled on Buffy's stake.
"Newbies," she muttered to herself, placing the stake back in her jacket and continuing on.
Still lost in thought, Buffy quickly found herself outside of Willow's dorm. It was one of the nicer dormitories UC Sunnydale had, incredibly spacious and impossibly hard to get. She briefly wondered how Willow managed to get a room, and then decided it was best not to let her mind wander.
She glanced at a piece of paper in her hand- Willow had told her which number her room was and where to find it. Buffy hadn’t visited Willow since she’d moved out. She found her way to room 112, and knocked patiently on the door. No answer. Buffy tried again, listening closely to see if Willow was inside and just not coming to the door. All she heard was absolute silence. Willow wasn't home, which left Buffy with one thing to do: sigh. It seemed like that was all Buffy had been doing lately- lots of heavy sighing. She headed back towards home, winding through various cemeteries to complete patrol. She spotted no unusual activity, and was very grateful for that. Already tired, Buffy wasn't in the mood for anymore fighting.
She heard dull smacks, the sound of a fist pounding flesh, off in the distance. Sprinting to see what was going on, Buffy paused when she made out Spike's figure. He was kicking the un-living crap out of a vampire, completely unaware of the two lurking behind him. Just as he went in for the kill, another lunged at his back, knocking him to the ground. Buffy ran to help, quickly getting the upper hand in the fight and making dust of the demon. Spike had since managed to throw the second vampire off of him and stake it as well.
"You need to be more careful," Buffy advised. "Big Bad should watch his back."
"Big Bad's got his back covered," he replied, shooting her a cocky grin.
Buffy only had an instant to answer before she heard more footsteps. She spun around, fists raised and poised in a battle position.
Another vampire had arrived, a tough looking female in a trashy red dress, flanked by two males. Buffy had never seen her before and instantly doubted that this was going to be a pleasant meeting.
"Hurry up! Last time we were late the Boss almost busted a nut-" the vampire hissed to her henchmen before stopping dead in her tracks. A slow smirk spread across her pale face as she glanced at Buffy and Spike. "Well, well. No matter how many times you get knocked down you always bounce back, huh?" She sneered.
"Actually, yeah," Buffy replied, a little confused. "That seems to be the trend."
"Too bad," the vampire yawned. "Repetition bores me."
"Allow me to spice up your life," Buffy offered, delivering a swift kick to her chest that sent her flying backwards.
The two minions promptly attacked Spike as their leader took on Buffy. Buffy's punches were right on target; the female vampire barely had time to react before another fist was flying in her face. She managed to catch Buffy's foot before she landed another kick, and forcefully wrenched it aside. As Buffy recovered, the vamp backhanded her sharply, sending her to the ground.
"Why-" she bent forward and hauled Buffy to her feet, "Wont-" she smashed her fist into Buffy's face, "You-" she backhanded the Slayer once more, "Die!" She cried, pouring all of her strength into an uppercut that launched Buffy into the air, causing her to land painfully on her back. Searing pain shot through her body, and all she could do was writhe on the ground.
"Boys!" the vampire leader called, getting the cronies' attention, "Let's get out of here. We have important business to finish."
They backed away from Spike and moved to the female’s side. She looked down at Buffy and pronounced in an over-exaggerated manner, "I'll be back," before vanishing behind the crypts.
"You okay?" Spike asked, offering his hand.
"I'll manage," Buffy winced, taking his hand and hoisting herself up.
"What the hell was that?" He muttered.
"I'm not sure," Buffy replied, "But I think we just found what destroyed the bot."
***********
"'I'll be back'?" Xander laughed. "Who'd she think she was, the Terminator?" He finished in a thick, Austrian, Schwartzenegger-esque accent.
"She sure had killer strength," Buffy snapped, holding an ice pack to her back. "She's no newbie- definitely an older vampire. Lots of years of experience and power there."
"And you're sure she killed the bot?" Dawn asked.
"Almost positive. She made a comment about how I keep bouncing back and I just won't die, so I figure she's killed 'me' at least once before. Besides, she's the only half-way competent vampire I've come across in a long time…she seemed totally capable of destroying the Bot."
"Do you want me to check if we have any more healing tea back at the Magic Box?" Anya offered. "You seem to be making squinty pained faces a lot."
"No, thanks," Buffy answered. "I'm sorry I called you guys over in the middle of the night, but I figured this was Scooby-gang material. This vampire and her Boss- whoever that is- are probably behind something big, and we need to come up with a way to foil the Bad Guys' plan."
"I can talk to some of my sources," Spike volunteered, "See if anyone's heard of this bint before."
"Great. I'll do extra-extensive patrols; see if I can get any clues to her whereabouts. I want everyone to be on guard- Dawn, no going out alone at night, at least not until we know more about what's going on."
"Buffy-"
"Dawn. Please," she pleaded. "You can still go out, I just don't want you walking around alone while this nut is out there."
Dawn nodded. "Okay."
Buffy reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "Thanks."
"I can look into some magick books," Tara suggested. "I'll search for any spells that could help us find or fight her."
"What about Willow?" Anya asked.
"I tried calling her when I got home," Buffy answered. "I haven't been able to get a hold of her. She can be part of the spell-search-" off of Tara's worried look, she added, "Although maybe it'll be best if she helps research with Xander, see if this vampire is recorded in any of Giles' books."
"So you couldn't reach Will at all?" Xander queried, clearly worried. "Any idea where she is?"
Buffy shook her head, but had a pretty strong feeling she was out with someone. Someone she had been seeing a lot of lately, someone who always seemed to find Willow when no one else could, someone who's name would cause Tara a lot of grief. A new bad guy had shown up in Sunnydale, knocked Buffy around and put the gang on full awareness mode. Research had to be done, Dawn needed to be supervised, thorough patrolling had to be initiated instantly...and Willow had no idea.
She’s out with Crispin bloody McDermott, she thought to herself, and then winced as she realized how much that had sounded like Spike.
Before she could day anything else, the telephone in the kitchen started ringing. Tara, being the closest, instinctively moved to answer it.
"Maybe that's Will now?" Xander asked hopefully.
"Yeah, maybe" Buffy replied, somehow knowing in her heart that it wasn't.
"Umm, Buffy," Tara said nervously, as she stuck her head back into the living room. "It's for you. It's -uh..."
But Buffy was already racing for the phone. It was Giles. It had to be. She'd been waiting for this call for days. Giles would be able to help her, even all the way over in London. He'd know how to handle Willow, know what to say to her...
"Giles?" she said quickly as she picked up the phone. "Is that...?"
But the voice on the other end of the line, although very familiar, wasn't Giles at all.
"Buffy. God, is that really you? It's me. It's Angel. I, uh, need to see you."
And, for a very brief moment, the world came to a screeching halt.
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