Buffy wasn’t necessarily fuming as she made her way home from Spike’s. More like thoughtful with a slight fume. Fuming thoughtfully, yes, that’s what she was doing she decided. She hoped William truly understood why she felt the way she did. She’d gone on and on about how out of control she felt with her life and she felt as if he’d just robbed her of getting that control back. It made her feel weak, like the proverbial damsel in distress who needed the big strong man to lean on
and define her.
It was frustrating.
She didn’t have a clue as to the person Angel had hinted at
her having become After Lindsey –as she was starting to
call it—but she knew who she was Before Lindsey.
Courageous, determined, stubborn and vivacious. The world
had been her oyster. The person she was now was a far
cry from her and she missed her old self desperately. William
had been the driving force in pushing her to find herself again
and she felt she had been on the right track. William and
Angel made her feel as if her best just wasn’t good enough.
It was discouraging.
The other part of her, the part that was skittish
about Lindsey and his intentions, understood why they did it.
They felt the need to protect her and find out the cold hard
facts that she could not provide them. It sat in her gut like lead
that Lindsey could be responsible for her accident. A million
questions she wanted answers to whirled through her mind,
but one stood out prominent above all the rest: Why?
“Buffy!” she jumped a near mile to the sound of a voice
beckoning her.
Angel. Of course. Why WOULDN’T he be there? Especially
since she just left William’s. She stared at him in disbelief as
he slowly trailed her with his car.
“Look, if you don’t want to get in, that’s fine, but I’d like to
follow you and make sure you make it home if that’s all right
with you.”
Buffy shook her head and stalked to the car. He slammed on
the brake and it bounced to a halt. She nearly ripped the car
door open. “That would just be stupid, now wouldn’t it?” she
muttered. She slid into the seat and slammed the door shut.
Angel jumped at the force behind the slamming of the door
and sat back regarding her with a frown. “Was that really
necessary?”
She gave him an icy look and he held up his
hands in surrender and sped off.
Halfway home, he started to speak.
“Don’t,” she halted him. “I don’t want to hear it.
You can just call William and share notes on why I’m pissed.
More so now because I obviously can’t handle a simple walk
home.
“Buffy, there are a lot of psychos out there.
Lindsey just happens to be one of them,” Angel informed her
on a defeated sigh.
“I was fine walking home before this whole
mess.”
“Buffy, I’m not going to apologize for wanting to
keep you safe, but I will apologize for going behind your back
to do it.”
Buffy said nothing as a silent acceptance of his
apology. Though she was still thoughtfully fuming.
**************************************************************************
“You want to what?” Fred asked, her eyebrows rising. She
was looking at Buffy in disbelief.
“I want to take a self – defense class and I
want you to take it with me,” Buffy told her definitively. It was
Monday morning and after having spent Sunday not talking to
either Angel or William, Buffy had decided it was time for
action, time to take things in her own hands and prove to
them and to herself that she could take care of herself. And
them, if need be.
“Why?” Fred asked, slowly.
Buffy refrained from rolling her eyes. “Well, we
do live in the city Fred and it couldn’t help to have some skills
to protect us on those nights we’re coming home late from
here or a party.”
“I drive,” Fred pointed out.
Now Buffy rolled her eyes. “So? What happens
if something happens to your car and you have to walk?”
“Cell phone?”
“Your battery ran out.”
“Payphone?”
“And some dude tries to dry hump you while
you’re making the call.”
Fred’s eyes widened. “I’ll take it. I’m afraid I’m
just not very...athletic.”
Buffy shrugged. “Neither am I, but we’ll learn.”
“Why the sudden interest in self-defense? The
Y has offered it before and you were never interested.”
“I have my reasons,” Buffy said softly and left it
at that.
***********************************************************************
“Knock, knock.”
Buffy looked up from her desk later that day to see William
standing uncertainly in the doorway with a bouquet of
flowers.
“Come in William,” she told him, smiling gently.
He walked in, his swagger not what it once was. He was
nervous, which she found hard to believe considering he
was a cutthroat lawyer. It settled in her mind that she was
the cause of his nervousness. She wasn’t sure how she felt
about that. He stood before her, just in front of her desk,
gazing down at her. So close, yet so far away.
“I gave you space yesterday. I didn’t call at all . . I thought it
was what you would want me to do,” he explained quietly.
“And what did you want to do?” she asked, setting her pen
down.
He met her eyes. “I wanted to call you every five bloody
minutes. Then I wanted to knock the bloody door down and
make you talk to me.”
“Thank you for not doing that.”
“Bloody whipped is what I am,” he muttered. “Love’s bitch
you’ve made me Buffy. Do anything for you I would. If I
thought you leavin’ me after our night together in Rhode Island
was hell, its nothing compared to having you tell me you love
me and then you leavin’.”
“I told you I loved you. I was upset but it didn’t
alter my feelings for you, William.”
He hung his head, “I know. I’m just a poncey,
stupid git. I go up against sharks in courtrooms, I AM a
shark—a bloody pit bull!—and look at me. You alone can bring
me to my knees Buffy. How’s it feel?”
“Like we’re even.”
“Are we?” he asked hopefully.
“Yes,” she nodded.
“I bring you to your knees?”
She smirked teasingly at him and he grinned. “You wanna
show me?” he prompted.
She burst out laughing and shook her head, standing up and
making her way around the desk. She took the flowers from
his hand and placed it on the desk after taking a quick whiff
of them. Wrapping her arms around him, she held him tightly
and nuzzled his neck. He let out a small whimper as he held
on to her tightly.
“I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything or anyone in
my life, Buffy. You’re it for me. You’re the bloody world.”
She smiled against him, “I love you too William.”
“We good then?”
“Yes. Just please don’t keep things from me like
that. Have a little faith in me. I’m not a porcelain doll, William. I
won’t break that easy.”
“You won’t break at all,” he whispered
hoarsely, burying his face in her neck. “Not my girl. Made of
tough stuff, she is.”
“Thank you. I plan on putting that theory to the
test too.”
He leaned back a bit to study her face. “Oh?”
She smiled brightly. “Self-defense at the Y. For
women only.”
“I took kickboxing in LA.”
“Why does that not surprise me?” she said
wryly.
He grinned. “Maybe we could spar with each
other.”
She smiled broadly. “Maybe I could kick your
ass.”
His eyes darkened. “Is it wrong that talking
about kicking my ass turns me on?”
She laughed, “Maybe, but it’s okay.”
“When does this class start?”
“Tonight. Fred is coming with me.”
He bit his lip. “Can I pick you up and take you
out?”
“Spike, I’ll be all sweaty and gross.”
“Okay, is it wrong that you being all sweaty
turns me on?”
“Is there anything that DOESN’T turn you on?”
she asked incredulously.
“When it comes to you? No. Everything turns me
on.”
She smiled. “I do love you.”
“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” he said,
smiling broadly.
“Greedy.”
“Definitely. I want everything Buffy. All you
have to give me, I want it. I need it.”
Holding him tightly, Buffy let that knowledge
sweep over her, leaving her overwhelmed, but at peace at
the same time. “Oh William, the things you do to me.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Did you forget about me?