“People are getting to close mom,” Buffy whispered, resting her chin on her knee. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “Way to close. Like today this chick Willow Rosenberg who is a girl that I would normally not acknowledge unless I was picking on her, had the nerve to ask me why I’m like this. Where does she get off?!”

As usual, she got no answer but she could tell her mother was there. She could feel it in her bones.

Buffy really didn’t know why she came here almost every night. Her mother was gone. There was no gentle way to put it. Joyce Summers was dead and she’d been that way for almost two years now. She was never coming back and Buffy knew it but, every time she came, she prayed that she could be alive again. All the wishing and praying in the world wouldn’t help. She was never coming back .

The day that her mother had died, Buffy had given up on god and this so called faith. Her father was never around so her mother had all she’d had. Now that she was gone and her father was still devoted to work she had no one. She couldn’t really whine about daddy being Mr. Big Business Man. It kept her living in a big house and in designer clothing.

Sure there were her friends but come on, they weren’t really her friends. She didn’t have any real friends that she could trust and confide in.

People had always told her that god was watching over her. Well bull shit. If she had someone watching over her, they would have never let her mom die. They would have known that she was all she had.

Right now she didn’t know what she believed in.

Maybe she needed this to be her last visit. Maybe she could get over it if she just stopped. Maybe it was the first step of letting go which something she’d yet to do.

Wiping away the few stray tears that had escaped her eyes, she stood up and what did she find?

Spike.

Watching her.

Creepy.

Spike had been on patrol and again there she was, sitting there and talking to her sky. He was still fuming from this after noon. Where did the bloody bitch get off? He hoped that some nasty came along and ate her. She deserved it!

“You really are stalking me,” she said to him, finding it rather funny when his eyes widened, caught.

“I told you already, don’t flatter yourself luv.”

Buffy scowled at him, “Don’t even pull a pet name on me.”

“Well then pet,” he drawled, “What are you doing out in the graveyard at this time of night?”

Spike saw a flash of sadness in her eye, “My mom. We were talking.”

He glanced at the grave and back to her. She just shrugged, “Whatever. It’s no biggie.” She paused for a second before whispering, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Spike asked tightly.

“For bringing it up and saying you were beneath me. I’m a bitch. I know it. People just need to get over it.”

When she’d said he was beneath her, it had hit a little to close to home. He didn’t give a flying fuck about what Queen Buffy Summers thought of him but it was those words…

“No need to apologize luv,” he sighed and was about to turn around to leave when she asked, “Hey, what are you doing here at this time of night? I have a good explanation.”

‘Just here to stake a few vamps, maybe slay some demons.’ The words were on the tip of his tongue, “Just out of a walk.”

Buffy raised an eyebrow, “Like a few nights ago?”

He raked his hand through his hair, “Well…yeah.”

Buffy bit her lip, a small smile forming, “It is peaceful. I guess I get why.”

“Yeah, I’ll just be on my way now, you should get going yourself…”

He really wanted to get her out of here before some vamp came along and he’d have to stake the thing and then it’d be a whole big bloody mess.

Buffy stared at him for a moment. For some reason he just looked so at home here, just like she did. It was weird but there was just something….

She nodded, “I should.” She was about to walk away from him when she turned back around with out thing and asked, “Do you want to go grab some coffee somewhere?”

She was going crazy, really she was.

He was shocked to say the least. This was the same chit that had told him he was beneath her earlier and now she was asking him to go grab coffee with her.

“Well?” she asked, taping her food impatiently.

He took a deep breath and nodded, “Okay. What the hell right?”

******

Buffy and Spike sat in an awkward silence, across from each other.

“How can you drink it black like that?” Buffy asked while making a face, breaking the silence.

He looked up at her and asked, “How can you drink all of that bloody…”

“Stop right there mister,” Buffy pointed a stern finger at him, “I could not get on with life with out my latté in the morning. Don’t you dis my choice in coffee or I’ll have to kick your sorry ass.”

Spike smirked at her, “I’d like to see you try.”

“You wanna settle this outside?” she asked with a totally straight face. There was a pause before they both burst out laughing.

Buffy titled her head and looked at him. He really wasn’t a freak. He was nice from the little time she’d spent with him with Sunnydale High not in her mind. And yes, he was sexy as hell. There. She’d admitted it.

“I am really sorry you know,” she finally said, “For what I said. When I’m around them it’s automatic. It’s all a front. I’m not really like that.”

“Then why?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Because,” she looked down at her hands, “You know what? I don’t know why I do it. As cliché as this sounds, popularity is lonely.”

Spike laughed a little, “I really never saw you as the type to bitch about it.”

“I don’t usually,” she smiled a little, “Just to my mom.” Buffy paused before telling him firmly, “I refuse to fall victim to the Abercrombie Generation.”

Spike raised a scarred eyebrow, “The Abercrombie Generation?”

She nodded, “Yeah. You know what I’m talking about.”

At his blank look she elaborated, “Okay, here, how’s this. Totally self-centered blonde girl turns to her equally vain friend and says ‘like ohmigod! I just got my cherry red convertible back from the garage. I’m liked so glad that daddy didn’t take it away from me after I accidentally rear-ended that guy! Now we can go shopping at Abercrombie and Fitch! I have 200 dollars so I can buy a whole pair of jeans and top!’ and then the equally vain friend squeals and says ‘like ohmigod! That’s so awesome! I want to totally get that shirt Lindsey Lohan was wearing! Let’s go!’ Or in simpler terms every jock from 1998 to 2005.”

Spike shook his head and laughed, “You are something Summers.”

“I know,” she smiled at him, “I try. So anyways, what’s you're deal? I mean I now know that you aren't really that big of a freak but…”

She couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortable her question made him look so she sighed, “Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything, just asking.”

They sat in silence for another minute or two before Buffy stood up, “I really should be getting home. I had a nice time talking to you Spike but I hope you realize that on Monday, nothing’s going to be different. I’ll still treat you like shit.”

He shrugged, “Yeah, figured that much. And you’ll still be that bitch I hate.”

Buffy smiled and laughed lightly, “Glad we have an understanding then.”





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