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Buffy hadn't known what else to do. Spike's condition degraded so quickly, that the only thing she could think to do was bring in her support system and start circling the wagons around Spike. Now she was glad they were here. They helped her be strong, when Spike was obviously so weak.

Dawn looked at Buffy with wide eyes, hoping that her sister had a clue what was happening, because she sure didn't, "Buffy, when I left, Spike was fine," Dawn watched as Spike struggled against the binding field that she'd insisted Willow place him in, "He was a little tired, but he was Spike," she watched, in horror, as Spike, writhed in pain, his eyes shifting from azure to amber, and back again, never able to maintain one, or the other, for any length of time, "Now, he looks like he doesn't know where he is. Buffy, what happened?"

"I don't know what happened. He shifted while we were kissing," she looked at Dawn, "But, he held it together, at least I thought so. He was a little snippy, but, that's just Spike," Buffy tried to shut out the incoherent growling she heard coming from Spike, "Then, all of the sudden, he was demanding that I leave the room. When I said I wouldn't do that, he called Riley in and demanded to be shot with those tranquilizer darts. Riley did that," Buffy couldn't fight the tears anymore, "Then, I asked Willow to put the field up again. I thought it would help calm him," Buffy took a breath, trying to calm herself, if she couldn't calm Spike, "This is the result. I know he's hurting, wild, almost. I don't understand any of this," Buffy sobbed.

The rational part of Spike's mind knew that Buffy wouldn't understand why this was happening. He wanted to tell her to get as far away from him as possible, before he couldn't control himself anymore. The part of him that was more animal than man sensed the end was coming, and had started to lash out at anything it had to, to keep that from happening. The demon was an animal, but, just like the man inside, that had, somehow managed to cling to life with his fingernails, it did not want to die. The demon saw Buffy as its only means of staying on this plane of existence, but to do that, it needed her blood. It needed to drain her dry to survive, and the man in him was not going to let that happen. William did not want to exist if that was the price. Both demon, and man were locked in a battle for supremacy.

Just which was the stronger, not even he was sure.

Buffy saw Spike rage, snarl and spit until all his energies seemed to be exhausted, and he became still. When she was certain that he was calm enough, she had Willow disengage the binding field, and she climbed into the bed and pulled him to her, cradling him like a baby. When Spike sensed that, for now, the demon had, indeed retreated within, he whimpered to Buffy, staring at her through frightened, pleading, eyes, "Please, Buffy, I don't want to die. I want to live. Buffy, please help me?"

Buffy's voice quivered, as tears squeezed out from behind closed eyelids, "I will, Spike. If I have to drag Drusilla here myself, I swear..."

Spike's brain seized on anything to keep him grounded, keep him here, with her, "Dru," he whispered, seemingly barely touching the reality he wanted to cling to, "she asked me once, where it had gone..."

"Where what had gone, Spike?" Buffy asked, trying to keep him in the present.

"The soul," he whispered, his eyes unfocused, "I told her I knew. But, I didn't," he confessed. He remembered his mother telling him, when he was a boy, that he needed to confess if he'd told a lie, and he had, he'd told a whopper, "I only believed. I told her that her soul was in heaven. But, I didn't really know," Spike nodded a little, as if he'd made some kind of decision, "I know now, though."

Buffy tried to be brave, even though her heart was breaking into tiny shards with each word that floated from his lips, "What do you know, Spike?"

"I know that William will go to heaven. He's a good boy," he paused, and looked, with wet, unfocused eyes, into her tear-stained face, and asked her, with all the wonder of a small boy, "But, Buffy, where will I go, when I die?"

Buffy looked up into her Watcher's haggard, grief-stricken, face for the answer, but found only more questions. She did her best to be the Slayer she needed to be, "Spike, I don't want you to, but if you do have to go," Buffy caressed his face with a trembling hand, "I will follow you wherever you go," Buffy watched Spike's eyes drift shut, "That's it, Spike. You rest now. Don't worry, Drusilla will be here, soon."

Giles had seen that look on Buffy's face before, and he knew that Buffy would make good on her promises, whatever it cost her.
********************

Angel barely had her name off of his lips, when Drusilla whimpered and collapsed in his arms, "Drusilla," he gasped, catching her gently against him, then hooking his hand under her knees, carrying her to his sofa. He gently placed her on the soft leather sofa, went to the sink to get a wet cloth, and quickly returned to Drusilla, "Dru, can you hear me?"

Drusilla stirred a little, coming to slowly, "So much pain," she moaned, "William hurts so much, it's hard to see, it's too bright and sharp."

"I know, Dru," Angel choked, tapping her cheek lightly to rouse her, "but, you can't rest now, your boy needs you, Dru. You have to help."

Her eyes were suddenly bright and clear, boring into Angel's soul, "You burned him to ashes," Drusilla accused, "You wanted him to die."

"You're right," Angel admitted. He wasn't sure that Drusilla would be able to understand his reasoning. That he'd wanted to make sure Spike achieved the Shanshu. He gave Drusilla a wry smile, "But, you know your boy, he can be very persuasive, and a bit stubborn, I think I've changed my mind about that."

She shook her head, her voice still accusatory, "You poisoned him."

Angel tried to keep his voice strong. Drusilla sometimes needed a firm hand, "No, Dru, I didn't. But, he will die, if you don't pull yourself together soon. Do you want that?"
****************

The scene before her disquieted Illyria; the shell still held on to the electrical charges that humans referred to as memories. This shell had expired in a slow, agonizing way, very much like what the vampire she thought of as her only confidant in this small dimension, was experiencing now. Witnessing it happening to another being, made her enraged. She stepped to his bedside, slowly shifting into the persona of her human shell, "Hey, Spike," she said, "you listen to your girls now, okay? You've got a few promises to keep, remember? You promised me a hug," her voice was soft and soothing, Illyria learned how to do this from Wesley, "I know you're busy fighting this, and I won't keep you. But, I'm gonna hold you to that promise, all right?"

Buffy tried to soothe Spike as he tried to fight the pain. She knew he was a champion, but, sometimes, even champions fight losing battles. He seemed to respond to Illyria's voice, "Oh, God, Fred, I'm slipping. There's nothing to hold on to."

Illyria shifted to her natural form, "Vampire," she said, sternly, "I require you here. And, you will stay; do you understand me?"

"...There's nothing to hold on to. I can't hold on. I can't feel my hands. Dana... no..."

At the mention of Dana's name, Buffy looked up at Giles. It seems that the Slayer was kept in the dark again.

Giles had to leave the room; he just couldn't stand to see the look of betrayal and distrust in Buffy's eyes. That was a look he hadn't seen on her face since the night he'd let Wood talk him into stalling her while he carried out his vendetta. A vendetta that, if seen through to fruition, would have doomed them all. Buffy and he had just begun rebuilding their relationship. Now, a year's worth of work seemed to be torn asunder. And, all because he didn't trust his girl's judgment.

Andrew had, indeed, told him of Spike's existence after the closing of the Hellmouth in Sunnydale. But, Giles had wanted his girl to move on. He was afraid that history would repeat itself, and following her heart, allowing herself to fall in love with a vampire, would do her heart irreparable damage.

Seeing the way Buffy looked at Spike, Giles knew that he was, sadly, right. In trying to be a good father figure for her, he'd only succeeded in driving her further from him.

"...Slayer... she took my hands. I can't hold on."

Buffy sniffled, holding him tighter, "It's all right, Spike. I've got you. I'll hold you."

Xander's fingers itched, gripping the stake in his pocket. Spike had trusted him to do this if Buffy couldn't. His throat felt tight, and he swallowed hard. Was this the right time? Was this what he wanted? Could Buffy go through with it, or would he have to do it? I've got promises to keep, he thought.
*************************

"Daddy," Drusilla asked, "will you give back what you stole from me, if I help William?"

Angel was shocked. Just where, and when, had Drusilla learned such ruthless negotiating strategy? Never mind, he knew from whom she'd learned it. She had learned from her Daddy.

"Drusilla, please," he begged, he couldn't believe he was actually begging, but, he was, he was on his knees, begging, "we're talking about your boy, here. I really can't believe you would let him die. I know I took your life," he sighed, trying to keep the tears at bay, " I know, I took your innocence. If I could, Dru, I'd give it all back, I swear."

Drusilla's face softened, "Tears, Daddy? For me? For my William?"

"Yes, Dru," Angel sighed, shoulders slumped in defeat, "please, Drusilla, don't let Spike down, not now. He took care of you, when I couldn't. Loved you, when I didn't know how. Dru, he needs you, please. "

Drusilla nodded, "All right, Daddy. Take me to him."
**********************

Buffy sobbed her heart out, rocking Spike against her chest, "Hold on, Spike, please hold on. Don't you dare give up! Not now, please not now."

She knew that he was tired; she could feel him slipping into unconsciousness. He wasn't communicating with her in words, but she could feel his feelings. He was in agony. He wanted to stay with her, with all that was in him, but the pain was so much he couldn't take it. It was so much easier to drown in the numbness of being nothing. That was easier than putting up a fight. He was just so tired and so old.

She understood the pull of the numbness. She'd let it take control of her, rather than feel the pain.

"I won't let you drown, Spike. I've got you. Drusilla will be here, soon. I know it."

There was a knock at the door. All Buffy saw was a whir of scarlet and ebony, and a familiar voice that filed her with dread and joy, at the same time, "Oh, my bright, shining, brave boy. Don't worry, Mummy's here now," Drusilla drew up close to Spike's ear, "I know it hurts. But, Mummy, and Daddy are here now, and we'll make everything right again," she said, nodding toward Angel, who was still standing in the doorway, "Won't we, Daddy?"





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