[Reviews - 184]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2137 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
I don't own the characters, but I wish I did! Tell me what you think.
Looking into Spike's eyes, it was easy to see why Drusilla had been attracted to him, all those years ago. The light, burning in his eyes, was so warm and inviting, so all encompassing, that Buffy would have done anything to have it. This was the kind of light that warmed you, even with it's dying embers. Now, she understood why Drusilla had turned the young man that William was, instead of just feeding on him. And, she silently thanked her. Without her, Buffy might never have gotten the chance to see what real love looked like. The kind of intensity she was seeing would be the perfect weapon. Those eyes could look into someone's soul, and pull out even the most well guarded secret, without even lifting a finger.

Buffy tried to swim against the waves of love she saw and found her voice, "How did you know?" she asked.

He sighed, "I know what I would have done, if it had been you," his eyes softened, as his voice gained strength, "After that night at the tower, I spent months, running up and down that infernal thing," he grimaced at the memory, "I must have done it thousands of times, over and over again, at times, until just before sunrise. There were times when Nibblet would have to talk me down, and get me to safety, because I wouldn't save myself. I was always trying to push myself, even though my bones hadn't healed from the fall, I didn't care. I had to find that fraction of a second, the time that I let slip through my fingers, I had to have it back, so that I could save you. I was desperate, for a long time. I didn't see how desperate I had become until I saw the reflection of it, in Bit's eyes," he gestured toward the closed door, "I saw that look, again, just now, in her eyes. I knew you were desperate enough to do almost anything," he nodded knowingly, "I knew from experience. I took an educated guess."

Buffy sighed and shook her head, giving up the fight against the tears, "I'm clear as glass, aren't I," she blinked to see him clearly, "I don't know why I even try to hide from you," she inhaled, gathering her courage, "You're right, I am desperate. I have been, ever since everything, and everyone," she felt the grief tearing at her throat as she fought to remind herself that he was real, and he loved her, " I ever cared about got sucked into a giant hole," she sniffed back the tears, and looked at his quicksilver eyes, "I can still taste the dust in my mouth. It made me sick to my stomach, but I needed it, because it reminded me of you."

Spike fell back against the pillows, suddenly overcome with revulsion at the turmoil he had put her through, needlessly, "Buffy, I'm so sorry," he gulped, " I'm sorry. I thought seeing you again would diminish me, and my sacrifice somehow, in your eyes."

"Diminish," she was aghast, "has the lack of plasma cooked your brain cells? Did coming back from the grave, after the tower," she swallowed hard, "Did that diminish what I did," her voice lowered to a whisper, "in your eyes?"

"No," Spike said, in a sad whisper, "Buffy, don't ever think that."

"Then why would you?" she asked.

"I love you," Spike confessed.

Buffy looked down, shyly, "Yeah, like I haven't heard that before."
*********************************************

Dawn came back from the uniform store, she didn't think Spike would let her steal anything again, after her foray into the world of larceny, even if it was for him, with Willow. There was nothing in the forest green family, so she'd chosen a robin's egg blue shade, that she thought matched Spike's eyes. And, it didn't have cartoons on it, so that was a plus.

She saw Riley, standing in front of Spike's door, watching to make sure, nothing happened to him, "Hey, Riley," she said, lounging against the aging brick façade of the building, squinting to protect her eyes from the sun, "How are things going?"

"All quiet, right now," he said, "But that's pretty much par for the course for vampires," Riley smirked, and looked over his shoulder at the door, "Vampires who aren't Spike, that is. There have been rumblings. But, no offense, I am not looking in there. The idea of Buffy and him being together," he made a face that reminded Dawn of how her sister looked the last time she cooked dinner, for the two of them. Buffy was sick for a week, "it still is disgusting to me."

"Then, why are you helping?" Dawn asked.

"Because, I owe him," Riley said, "not only did he save the world from being overrun by a sub-species of vampires, he also saved me from a pretty dangerous addiction. Though, at the time, I was more concerned with the fact that he'd ratted me out, to my girlfriend," he sighed, "Then, he proceeds to do things that I really don't want to know about, with the aforementioned girlfriend. Which, still gets my bile up. But, I do owe him," he shrugged, "So, here I am."

"Oh, life's funny, huh?"

"Yeah," Riley agreed, "it's a real laugh riot, Dawn. If you want to go in, I suggest you knock first."

She nodded, and knocked on the door, "Buffy, Spike, it's me, Dawn. I've got some brand new clothes for you, Spike."
********************

Buffy reluctantly left to answer the door, "Thanks Dawn," she said, taking the bundle of clothes from her sister.

"No problem. They didn't have any green that wouldn't make you look dead though, Spike," she smiled, "so I went with the blues. I think it kind of matches your eyes. I got the ones I thought would fit. You're kind of...,"she felt the heat of his gaze, from the doorway, "smaller than I remember," she looked at Buffy, hoping she would see that she hadn't meant to upset Spike, but, it was the truth, " I hope they fit."

"Thanks, Bit, I'll be needing a loose fit anyway. Don't want to aggravate the skin too much, if it can be helped," the tone in his voice told Dawn that he understood, completely, "Now, if you'll call Finn in here, we can get down to business."

The look on Buffy's face, as she held up a finger, telling Dawn to wait, said that this was unexpected. Buffy shut the door, quietly, then turned and looked, sadly, at Spike, "If you need help, Spike, I want to give it. You don't have anything I haven't seen before, and in worse shape than it is now, I bet."

"Yeah," Spike nodded, "I know. But, like you said, before I couldn't argue. Now I can, and unlike the demon, the soul makes me a touch more modest," he closed his eyes, praying she would understand, and drop the subject, "And, I don't want you to see me like this. I need to get cleaned up, and this could take a while. I don't want you to see me struggling to reach the loo."

"Spike, I understand. Believe me, I do," Buffy sat on the bed again, so that Spike could see that she meant what she said. She took his hands in hers, and gave them a gentle squeeze, to show him how deeply she felt, "But I need to do this," she bit her lip, looking at his burned hands. The sight of his damaged skin, reminded her of her own scar; the one she'd received that morning, on the Hellmouth, in another fire, "I need to do this," she continued, "in case I can't later," she said, knowing he would understand what she was implying.

Spike's gaze, and voice turned as cold as blue steel, "There will be a later," he said, the chill in his voice forced Buffy to look up at him, "Do you understand me?"

"Yes," she tried to soothe his nerves, with a quiet voice, "I know. But, later has never been a good time for us. So, I have to do this now," Buffy gave him a sly grin, "Of course, if you're afraid I might take advantage of you, we can call Riley in here."

"No," he sighed, in acknowledgement of his defeat, "that won't be necessary, Pet," he shrugged, indicating his total, and complete trust in Buffy, "I'm at your mercy."

"Oh," Buffy cooed, dreamily, "this could be fun," she said, looking into Spike's jubilant eyes.
**************************

Buffy turned off the faucet, checking to make sure that the water was cool enough for Spike. She didn't want the water to aggravate, or overheat his body. The water was pleasantly cool. Too cold for her, but for a vampire, it was perfect.

She straightened up and called out to Spike, "The water's ready, Spike," she appeared in the doorway of the bathroom, and looked at him, her face soft, "How do you want to do this? Do you think you could stand, and walk, or, do you need me to help you?"

Spike shook his head, and hissed in a breath, "Wish I could do this under my own power, but I'm worse off than I was when the First batted my insides around. I'm going to need you to help me. I don't think I'll be able to take baby steps until Dru gets here, at sunset."

Buffy looked at her watch, "Sunset is at 7:30," she said, " That gives us seven hours to make you a little more presentable."
*****************************

Dawn wanted to talk to Willow, but didn't want to take the chance of running into Drusilla, so she had asked Willow to meet her in Saint Benedict's. Dawn kind of liked the cool dimness of the sanctuary. It kind of reminded her of Spike's crypt. She'd felt safe there, and now that Spike was getting better, she was starting to feel safe again.

Dawn knew that Spike knew she had a crush on him, but like the weird vamp he was, he never took advantage of that fact. He never hurt her, intentionally. But she had; she'd hurt him, bad, and she'd done it on purpose.

She was so sorry for that she couldn't begin to tell him how much.
***************************

Buffy tried to be strong as she gently pressed the cool cloth to his skin. He had actually let the soothing circles lull him into sleep. She knew that this was the first real rest he'd had in months, and she was glad that she was able to provide him, even a little, comfort.

She tried not to pay attention to the discolored blotches on his skin, but they crowded her vision. His skin was a mosaic of different colors, all of which were unnatural, for him. Where the skin wasn't black it was purple and red, the kind of red that hurt, even to look at. The kind of red that comes from a wire brush, pressed too hard, and too fast, against sensitive skin. Some of the wounds hadn't closed properly, too long without human plasma, she supposed. She hoped that the rippling effect, in the water, caused by her movements, did not cause him any discomfort. Buffy had almost cried at the sight of him, but Spike had assured her that, after this evening's feeding, he would be back to a more appealing form.

She hated to wake him, "Hey Spike, time to get out, before you start to look like an old prune," she tried to let the smile reach her voice, but it didn't quite make it.

His eyes opened, "Give us a minute, Pet. This is very...soothing. Like what I remember from childhood. I may not cast a reflection, but I do have eyes, Pet," he sighed, and his shoulders rose, and fell, with the effort, "I know I look awful. Being wrinkled, like a prune, might be an improvement."

"Okay," she said, with a pout, "Just five more minutes and then I'm coming in after you," she teased.

"Promises, promises, Pet," he purred, "I noticed a few more scars on you, too, Pet," he nodded toward the hand that held the wet cloth, "Like that scar on your hand, where did that come from? Some nasty thing take a chunk out of you?"

"This," she said, as she rubbed the scar absent-mindedly, "came from Sunnydale. That day," Spike's eyes were intrigued, and bid her continue, "We held hands, Spike," his eyes widened, "Before I left, I held your hand, and it caught fire, like you did."

He reached over to take her hand in his, running his fingers lightly over the raised, white skin, that marred her golden tone, "We did that," he asked, in wonder, at her nod, his expression changed to one of mischief, "Told you we made heat, Pet. Now, here's the proof I was right, all along."

He stretched his neck up, and she leaned over to kiss him, "All right, 'Mister Heat Miser,' time to make you all pretty for Mummy."

"Will do, Pet," Buffy was about to leave, but Spike held tight to her hand, keeping her there, "Thank you, Pet. For this," he looked as if he'd just been given a gift he thought he didn't deserve to have, "It was...nice."

"You're welcome Spike. But, I didn't do all that much."

"You did, Buffy," he nodded, "You did more than you know. I love you," he smirked, "in case I haven't told you lately."

"Ditto, Spike," Buffy smiled, "until the end of the world."





You must login (register) to review.