Chapter 7
“We’re still too early…lets just sit here a while, the last thing I’m in the mood for is Angel and his idiot questions” Buffy said. They were sitting in the car in the underground parking lot of Wolfram and Hart.
Spike had to smile; he was thinking exactly the same.
“What’s the betting he’ll say to me…’Have you taken leave of your senses’? Buffy said with a grin.
Spike smiled and nodded in agreement, adding
“Don’t forget the – ‘Are you totally insane – what were you thinking?’
“Uh huh…then he’ll probably add something like, ‘I don’t know what’s got into you lately Buffy, you’ve changed – you probably think this is one big joke’”
“More than likely! What’s the betting he’ll bring Joyce into it too – ‘If your poor mother could see you now’ – then he’ll probably twist things to make it about him, the ‘you’re only doing this to get back at me!’ – bloody egotistical wanker he is!”
“Don’t let him wind you up baby, the calmer we can be, the more he’ll flip!” Buffy said with a grin
“Well, I’ve decided – it’s none of his goddamn business, and if he asks about the wedding, I’m gonna tell him that!” Spike folded his arms and looked determined. It was Buffy’s turn to smile, and then it faded as to the reason they were there…
“Could she win – I mean, what if she does - where are we going to get how much was it worth again - $10,000 was it?”
Spike let his arms fall loose
“Something like that, but don’t worry pet, she won’t win – she hasn’t got a leg to stand on, anyway, if anyone’s to blame, it was her, going walkabout, talking to Sharkman outside – AND you know when Willow persuaded me to go get her, she sauntered in slowly, asking ME if I thought she was doing the right thing by marrying the boy - I wonder if the whelp knows that?”
“What did you say?”
“I told her it was a matter for her – I wasn’t going to get dragged into any marital strife and having her blame me coz I said something like ‘well it’s too late to back out now’ – besides which, she spied that poster advertising the prize honeymoon, and she suddenly decided she WAS doing the right thing”
“Well, from what Willow tells me, Xander’s happy that it didn’t happen after all”
“Why am I not surprised by that? Speak of the devil”
Xander smoothly pulled up next to Buffy’s car in the carpark.
“Come on then Kitten, let’s get this fiasco over with” and they both opened their doors simultaneously……………
******************
The tranquil ambience that Angel had taken time out to prepare in the office didn’t last long as soon as Anya, and a decidedly ‘fishy’ smell joined the proceedings with the rest of the gang, and suddenly it had been reduced to a free-for-all, shouting and pointing, accusations flying and threats made………
“………And by what the chief registrar said to my colleague on the phone this – hello – excuse me, is anybody listening to me?” Angel looked from an angry shouting Anya to an equally angry Willow
“………Well maybe if you hadn’t been out talking to Sharkman, you would have been on time!” Willow countermanded Anya’s accusation of delays in bringing Xander to the ceremony room.
“Hold on” Xander said, but nobody heard him at first…
“Did you say Sharkman? I said, just- just a min – BE QUIET!” Everybody shut up and looked at Xander, who was frowning at everybody.
“Sharkman – YOU were outside, talking to SHARKMAN?” Xander turned his accusary glare from a rapidly blushing Anya to Willow.
“Why didn’t you tell me this before?”
“I um, well it…erm…” Willow stuttered and bit her bottom lip.
“Yeah, AND when I went to find you, you asked me if I thought you were doin’ the right thing marrying the whelp!” Spike said.
“She WHAT? Oh this just keeps on getting better!” Xander slumped in his chair.
“It was last minute nerves!” Anya said meekly
“Yeah, ‘til you saw the bloody honeymoon poster!” Spike sneered
“YES! A honeymoon that YOU stole from me!” Anya retorted hotly as the argument came full circle
“WE DIDN’T!” Buffy sighed
“ACTUALLY PEOPLE…Angel began, much to my annoyance, and as I WAS trying to tell you Anya, they didn’t steal anything from you, it was never yours to start with, you weren’t promised anything so I’m sorry, but there it is. I had Charles Gunn, my top lawyer here speaking to the chief registrar at the Aphrodite wedding chapel this morning, and late or not, you were down to be the 23rd couple that day to be married”
“AND?” Anya asked glaring
“And, you needed to be couple number 28 – the 28th couple that day made them the millionth couple since Aphrodite opened”
“I see, well there’s nothing more to be said then, is there – and there’s no fee – so we’ll be going, come on Xander” Anya snatched up her purse off the desk.
“Come on where?”
“We need to talk, about if there’s still an us?”
“An US – as in you ’n’ me? – Pfft, f’get it, An – when you said to me in that ceremony room and I quote, ‘ Bollocks, this wedding’s off’ – that’s when I felt relief – like I’d had a ton weight lifted off my – what is it Willow?”
“Let’s just leave it and go” Willow thought it was no good giving Anya any ammunition against her friend..
“You said what- she said what? Angel asked frowning, picking up Anya’s statement
“According to your statement Anya, you said you were and I quote ‘too disappointed, and could you postpone the wedding as you were disgruntled and
frustrated at having the honeymoon stolen!” Angel said, and Anya at least had the decency to look embarrassed
“No, the word ‘Bollocks’ was definitely used, trust me!” Willow said grinning
“Well, I want my wedding ring back!” Anya narrowed her eyes at Buffy
“We’ve already given them back! Could have been a brass curtain-ring for all I knew!” Spike said, and Xander flashed him a ‘oh thanks’ sarcastic look.
“Um, no! – It wasn’t yours – you can have the one you bought for me” Xander fished about in his pocket and held it out to her.
“But Pookie…” Anya wheedled
“No, Anya, you’re not getting around me – and what is that awful goddamn smell – I thought you’d been cruising – what on a whaler? You stink of fish!”
“That would be Sharkie” Anya could have bitten her own tongue…
“Oh well, that’s just great isn’t it…well there, hope you two will be very happy, coz I know I am – ready Will – I think we can go now!”
Willow quickly followed Xander out of the door.
“Us too I think babe, come on, let’s go so I can go get my car back”
“Just a minute, I haven’t finished with you two yet!” Angel said, blocking Spike and Buffy’s exit from the office.
The couple looked at one another then at Angel’s arm, then at his face.
“Tell me, why and how did you two get married?”
Both Buffy and Spike grinned and folded their arms, Buffy said,
“Listen Angel, it’s none of your business, we just did alright – we’re married now, and-“
“You could get an annulment easy!”
“But I don’t WANT to get an annulment!! Spike and I are married, AND WE ARE STAYING MARRIED, GET USED TO IT!”
“What’s happened to you Buffy – you’re not the girl I used to know – I don’t know this Buffy you’ve become!” Angel said trying to look earnest and hitting ‘constipated’ at best………
“One” Spike mouthed, and Buffy giggled
Ignoring Spike, Angel continued,
“You know what I think? – I think you’re treating this as a big joke – in one moment of madness, you totally took leave of your senses and flipped – I mean, come ON! Buffy, you’re married – MARRIED! Wed to a, to a – “
Buffy narrowed her eyes at Angel, and warned him,
“Be very careful what you say, Angel!”
“Two, three, four!” Spike gleefully counted off all the things they said Angel would say…
“Buffy – this is SPIKE we’re talking about here! What would your dear mother think, hmm?”
“That’s four, and DO put a sock in it Peaches, Joyce couldn’t stand you – in anyway shape or form, so don’t talk about her like you cared what she thought!” Spike then giggled at his wife, and Buffy couldn’t keep the smile off her face
Angel turned angrily to Spike
“Oh shut up – I don’t expect anything better from YOU, but Buffy It’s serious…tell me love, why did you do it…was it to get back at me for some reason, hmm?”
Spike flung his arms wide and shouted,
“Ta-da! And there we have it, ladies and gentlemen, BINGO! Reckon he got the full house there, pet!” Buffy clapped her hand over her mouth and started giggling.
The smile left Spike’s face and he said,
“You’re just so fucking predictable mate…we said you’d say all that, about Buffy taking leave of her senses, bringing her mother into it and finally, your piece-de-la-resistance, trying to make it all about YOU! Well just for the record Peaches, YOU didn’t come into the equation AT ALL – NOT ONCE, OKAY – now if you don’t mind, my WIFE and I have some things to which we wish to see to, come on babe, lets get out of here!!!”
*************
The elevator door opened and Willow and Xander came out into the underground parking lot.
“You never mentioned the spell” Willow said
“What?”
“The spell I did, the peace and harmony thing, you didn’t mention it” Xander held his arm out to the car, and pressed his keyring, and there was a loud ‘beep-beep’ sound, and then the quiet whirring and a clunk as the central locking system disengaged
“No, well…I didn’t see the point. Besides which, it would have only complicated matters, and god alone knows what Anya would have made of it”
They both got in the car.
“Do you reckon Angel’s giving them the third degree now about their wedding?”
“Nope, I don’t, look!” Willow looked up from clipping in her seatbelt. She looked at Xander first, then to where he was looking, and saw a blissfully happy Buffy and Spike strolling along to their car, hand in hand.
“Well, they look like they don’t have a care in the world…come on, lets go home” Xander pulled out, giving the couple a bib and a wave as he drove off.
“Come on then Mrs (Spike leaned in and whispered his surname into Buffy’s ear) – lets go back to Vegas to pick up my car”
“Hmm…Buffy *&%$+£”!+*~#, huh – sounds classy!” Her saying the name was drowned out by the lock opening…
The End
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