Chapter Six
“Do you think there’s a reason I’m here Spike?”
“You like having your hair brushed?”
“No…I mean I do, but that’s not what I mean.”
“What do you mean Pet?”
“Well, you know how sometimes when a person almost dies, but then doesn’t, people say that person must have something they still have to do here. And that’s why they didn’t die?”
“You watch too many movies Love.”
“But what if…What if I died because I was supposed to? Because I was finished, and there was nothing left for me to do here.”
“So, what…you’re worried your life is meaningless now?”
She shrugged.
“Well Pet, you know I’m not much for deep thoughts about fate and destiny. That’s Angel’s style. I reckon you make your own destiny. If your life is going to have meaning it will be because you give it meaning.”
They were quiet for a few minutes while he continued to draw the stiff bristles of the brush through her long hair.
“There’s something else you haven’t realised yet Pet.”
“What’s that?”
“You have something that no other Slayer has ever had, and because of that you could live a lot longer than any who came before you.”
She snorted. “Great. So what is this magical ingredient?”
“Knowledge.”
She turned to look at him, her confusion evident.
“Do you remember what I said to you when you came to me last year wanting to know how I killed two slayers?”
She rolled her eyes. “You said every Slayer has a death wish.”
“But do you remember why?”
She thought for a moment and his words came to her from a half-forgotten memory. 'Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. And a part of you is desperate to know, what it’s like. Where does it lead you?' As comprehension dawned she nodded slowly.
“You think that because I know what death is like, I won’t have a death wish?”
“Not exactly.” He frowned as he searched for the right words. “I believe that most Slayers die young because the urge to know what comes after death is too compelling. But you’ve already been there; you know what’s waiting for you. So for you it becomes a question of how long you’re willing to wait to get back there.”
“When I first came back every moment felt like an eternity.”
“And now?”
Suddenly tears were streaming down her face. “I’m so confused.”
Spike put out his arms and she crawled into his lap, grateful for his strength as he wrapped his arms around her.
“Life just seems like such a struggle. Every day there’s so much pain and fear. The thought of leaving it all behind, it’s tempting.”
“And what’s keeping you here?”
She looked at him with watery eyes, “I want to see Dawn grow up.”
He smiled, “Anything else?”
“I want to be there when Xander and Anya get married. I want to travel around the world, and eat popcorn, and swim naked in the ocean. There is so much I haven’t seen or done. If I leave now I’ll miss all of it.”
Watching her talk he saw sparks of the old fire glimmering in her eyes and in that instant he knew that she would be okay.
“So then, Heaven can wait hey Pet?”
“Yeah,” she gave a short laugh of surprise. “I guess it can. It’s hard now but, I can wait.”
The smile he gave her sent a now familiar thrum of pleasure through her. “Spike,” her voice was quiet but firm as she spoke, “I know what you’ve been doing. These last weeks.”
“Yeah?” He held his breathe, terrified she would say that she didn’t need him anymore. He hoped the fear didn’t show on his face.
“I just wanted to say thank you. It’s meant a lot to me, having someone to talk to. Someone who helped me begin to find a way to live again, instead of just expecting me to be exactly the same person I was before.”
“No worries Love. I’d do anything for you, you know that.”
“Yeah.” Buffy sighed contentedly. “I guess I do.” Looking into his eyes she took a deep breath and continued. “I know that you love me, and I know that I care about you. I can’t say I love you, at least not yet. But if you’re willing to take it one day at a time, I’d like to give it a try. Give us a try.”
Spike was so stunned that he just sat there staring at her until she started waving a hand in front of his face. “Spike? Are you in there?”
Suddenly the spell was broken and Spike gave a triumphant shout before throwing himself on top of her. He rained kisses over her face and neck while she squealed and wiggled beneath him.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” she said with a laugh.
“Yes!” Spike grinned at her. “Yes. Yes. Yes.” He continued to kiss her between words until finally she refused to let him up. Her lips capturing his in a passionate kiss.
“I love you,” he whispered when their mouths parted.
A gentle smile touched her lips. “I know.”
Some time later they lay wrapped in each others arms. Their limbs intertwined as they basked in the after glow of their lovemaking. Looking down at her with a mischievous glint in his eye he said, “So, this swimming naked in the ocean thing. Can I be there for that?”
Buffy laughed. “Well, if play your cards right...”
His answering chuckle was muffled by her searching lips.
- The End -
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Thank you to everyone who supported this story. I really appreciate it.