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Emotionally drained from her day Buffy moved to the bed to turn down the covers and prepare to climb in.

“Are you … ” she paused in her actions and turned to face him with a questioning look.

“Whatever you want,” he correctly interpreted her look.

Looking him in the eye she pushed off her shorts then pulled off her camisole before sliding into the bed and holding the covers up inviting him to join her there.

He hesitated a bit at her having stripped down before laying down then he seemed to take a bracing breath before closing his eyes and wishing his own clothing away.

“How’d you do that?” she asked with her eyes wide at the quick removal of all he wore before he slid into bed next to her.

“It’s a ghost thing,” he smirked as he moved to lay next to her. “Little trick I learned to get around reality.”

“Any chance you can use it to get around this reality?” she smiled sadly and allowed the fingers of one hand to trail through the image of his chest.

“I have a few ideas if you’re really interested,” he gave her a crooked grin and playful leer.

“Really?” her eyes went wide.

“You’ve got to remember not to try and touch me, though,” he grew serious. “It won’t work if you get all upset over that.”

“Where are those handcuffs of yours when we need them?” she joked.

“I’m sure we could rustle up some shackles if you don’t think you can control yourself,” his smirk returned.

“Still sure you’re that good?”

“Well, luv, it’s a talent one doesn’t lose just being dead.”

“Prove it,” she whispered with a flare of desire in her eyes.

“Put your hands behind your head and keep them there,” he ordered while urging her onto her back and leaning over her body.

Looking into his familiar features with total trust she obeyed and folded her arms beneath her head to hopefully keep her urges to reach for him subdued.

“If this gets too much for you, tell me and I’ll stop,” he whispered into her ear with a tender stroke of his hand over her cheek.

At her nod he pressed his mouth against her ear then moved it along her jaw as his hands slid softly over her neck and shoulders.

The touches were like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

She felt them, feather light and sending tingles of sensation through the nerve endings beneath the surface of the skin her touched, but on a deeper level she didn’t feel them. She knew his lips were making their ways toward hers for a kiss, but they didn’t feel like his lips – the softness and texture was lacking leaving her with only the realization that something was brushing across her face.

A sound that was part moan at being touched by him, part whimper of need for more substantial touches emanated from her throat and she looked into his eyes to try expressing her needs without words.

“Let’s try it this way,” he kissed her eyelids shut. “Tell me what you dream about us before you wake up. Keep them closed, luv,” he ordered when she made to open her eyes as she spoke.

“It varies,” she whispered.

“Tell me the last dream.”

“I’m laying on my side and you come into the bed behind me,” she remembers clearly. “You stroke my shoulder then kiss my neck and I sigh your name.”

As she speaks he does what she described, his hands gliding lovingly over her shoulderblades and his mouth nipping at the skin of her neck until she sighs his name.

“What did you feel?” he asked against the pulse pounding in her throat.

“You,” she sighed. “I felt your skin and your hands and lips and your body behind mine and your erection against me.”

“Remember that,” he said as his hands and lips again began exploring her body at will. “Did I touch you here?”

“Yes,” she moaned at his phantom fingers plucking at her hardened nipples as her memory supplied the feelings her body craved.

Behind her closed eyelids she replayed moments when he had touched her like this in the basement of her house in Sunnydale or his crypt. She remembered him touching her breasts gently, like he was now, and firmly with the intention of pushing her hard toward orgasm as he had many times in the past.

“That’s it,” he said with satisfaction as he saw her forgetting the present and sinking into more pleasant memories of the past.

She felt a different kind of pull on her right breast and realized he’d drawn the mound into his mouth and was sucking on the flesh. In her mind she clearly remembered the warm wet heat of his mouth and the strength of his suckling and her core clenched in response. Suddenly there was a firmer, sharper pressure against her skin and she knew he was biting at her nipples. Her memories turned to images of his pearly white teeth nipping at and sinking into the soft flesh of her breasts as they had in the past.

“Spike,” her fingers gripped the forearm they were folded against under her head as her body wanted more.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he moved to her other breast.

“I remember this,” she said after a moment. “Remember watching and feeling you do this.”

“Do what?”

“Touch and kiss my breasts,” a shiver ran through her body. “Your teeth biting them and your fingers squeezing and your mouth sucking.”

“Remember this?”

“Yes,” her body lurched upward as his hands moved down her sides to her thighs while his mouth traced a slow path down her sternum and stomach.

“Tell me what you remember,” his tongue delved into her bellybutton.

“Your tongue … licking, making me wet,” she gasped. “Fingers,” it was getting hard to concentrate on forming the words, “gripping my thighs, parting them. Nails scraping skin to make me cry out for more. Your eyes watching me. That smirk,” she smiled at the memory.

His hands shifted to the inside of her thighs and urged them apart for his body to settle between.

“What do you feel right now?”

“You,” she whimpered and her fingernails bit into the skin of her arms as she waited for what she knew would be coming.

“Tell me.”

“Hands running up and down the insides of my legs,” she parted them further. “Fingers coming so close but not touching me - ”

“I’m touching you, pet,” he interrupted.

“Not where I need,” she argued with a buck of her hips.

“Where you need them, luv?”

“Inside me,” she whimpered.

“Here?”

She knew somehow that it was his tongue sliding along her slit to part her wet lips before lightly tracing her opening. In her mind she saw Spike doing that, remembered watching his bleached blonde head move between her legs as his lips suckled, his teeth nipped and his tongue lapped up her juices – for hours on end he’d done it one time that still blew her mind to think of.

“Need an answer, luv,” he teased with a smirk evident in his tone before his mouth moved to lavish attention on her clit.

“Yes,” she cried out, having pretty much forgotten the question but knowing whatever it was she was all for it.

After what felt like an eternity she felt him inside her again and that fact had tears welling up behind her closed eyelids. It didn’t matter that it was just his fingers and phantom ones at that, her heart knew that her Spike was lying between her widespread legs sucking on her clit with occasional nips of his teeth to make her body arch and shake in reaction as first one, then two and finally three of his fingers were plunging into her core.

“Spike,” it was practically a sob as his fingers curled inside her so that they found the spot only he had ever managed to locate and raked over it until she was shaking uncontrollably and clenching around his not really there digits.

Her thighs were growing slick as her juices flowed forward with nowhere else to go and her bangs were sticking to her forehead as a sheen of sweat dotted the skin there, but still her arching body needed more.

Without even realizing it she was saying that word over and over again, “More,” and Spike tried to satisfy her. Three fingers became four pushing harder and faster and deeper into her writhing body and his gentle suckling at her clit grew hard and almost angry with teeth being used constantly. His other hand was moving roughly over her breasts, squeezing and pinching and pulling at her nipples until finally memories of how all those actions really felt overwhelmed her and with a sharp cry that was his name she found the release her body had denied itself during two whole months of empty longing dreams.

“Shhh, it’s alright. Relax,” he slowly moved up her body and took her into his arms. “I’ve got you, luv. Breathe in for me, Buffy.”

Instinctively she obeyed his words and as she did she realized that her lungs had ceased working at some point during her orgasm and while she gulped in air she now desperately needed her tensed muscles started relaxing so that her body wasn’t arched and clenched as tautly as a bowstring.

He continued to sooth her body with words and gentle touches until her breathing returned to normal and she laid limply on the bed next to him.

“You’re even better,” she joked breathlessly as she lowered her arms and saw the scratches on them from her own fingers with a bit of surprise.

“What were you thinking of at the end?” he rested on his side next to her and brushed the damp tendrils of hair back from her face.

Buffy searched for a way to describe it, looked at him and replied, “Everything and nothing. Is that possible?”

“Course it is,” he smiled and kissed her brow. “Think you can sleep now?”

“If you’ll hold me again,” she raised a hand to stroke his cheek then dropped it with a sad sigh.

“It won’t be this way for long,” he assured her. “We’re gonna have the geeks around here find that bloody ritual and make me a real boy again.”

“Really?” her eyes went wide with hope that he meant what she thought he meant. “You wanna go ahead with that even though you’ll be human?”

“Something tells me I’m gonna enjoy being human with you,” he smiled. “You’ll just have to remember I won’t have that infamous vampire stamina going for me.”

“I think we’ll manage ok without it,” she smiled as joy blossomed in her heart. “Even with my slayer stamina thirteen times in one night was a bit much.”

“Our record was fifteen times in one night and you bloody well know it,” he looked affronted at being shortchanged those two times.

“Oh, yes, fifteen, you stud you,” she teased and got herself a smack on the bottom that had her giggling. “I’ve missed this more than I can ever say,” she grew serious in the midst of their playfulness.

“Me, too, luv,” he rolled her onto her side, wrapped his arms around her waist and spooned up against her back. “Was so afraid I’d never have it again.”

“I was so sure I’d lost you,” she closed her eyes and laid imaging that he really held her like this and she could feel his skin pressed against hers. “Sometimes I didn’t know if I’d be able to go on thinking we’d never have this again.”

“Don’t talk like that, luv, you’re a survivor. You’d live a long happy life with or without me,” he kissed her shoulder.

“I know that. I would have gone on for Dawn and the slayer destiny and because it’s what you told me to do so often - live,” a tear rolled down her cheek. “It’s just so much better to do all that with you with me.”

He didn’t say anything to that, just seemed to hold her a little tighter and press a few more kisses against her shoulder until she let go of the emotions swirling through her and just went to sleep.





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