Chapter Four
The restaurant was situated on a beachfront just outside LA. Converted from an old house, the restaurant had an elegant old-world feel to it. Buffy and Spike were shown to a table on the wide veranda which wrapped around the outside of the building. Here they were able to enjoy the sound of the waves washing up on the nearby shore. Lanterns hung from the roof, their gentle light lending a romantic air to the setting.
Spike stole a glance at his companion as she sat quietly studying the menu. He had been completely taken aback by her little speech in the car. He was used to the women he met under these circumstances preening under his compliments. He liked making them feel good and they enjoyed his attentions. That was the whole idea of the date! Never had he had a woman simply want to talk with him, openly rejecting any attempt at greater, if somewhat superficial, intimacy.
But then, he found himself wondering, how superficial would it be with this particular woman. He’d been speechless at the very sight of her, unable to so much as remember the name the driver had given him not five minutes earlier. With her long golden hair and her slender, toned body, he’d found he was suddenly looking forward to spending an evening plying her with compliments. Then, to have her reject his advances, well he was flummoxed to say the least. Now that his usual form of handling these ‘dates’ had been disallowed, he was at a bit of a loss at to how to deal with her.
“Would you like to share a bottle of wine love?”
She looked up uncertainly at his words.
He raised his hands in a defensive manner. “Just an affectation. I even called my mother love.”
Buffy laughed self-consciously. “I’m sorry,” she told him. “I know I’m being a bit silly.”
“Not at all,” he replied. “You like people to be straight-forward with you. I can understand that.”
Buffy gave him a grateful smile and he found himself staring at her once again, wanting to find more ways to make her smile. Then a small frown marred her features. “I notice you said ‘called’? You’re mother has passed on?”
Spike nodded. “Yeah. She died when I was 17. Car accident.” He looked up to see compassion and understanding in her eyes.
“My Mom died last year so, I understand to some extent.”
“I’m sorry love.” Feeling her need to talk about it he asked, “How did she die?”
“She had a brain tumour. The doctors removed it and we all thought she’d be okay but…it was an aneurism. I found her on the couch when I came home.”
Instinctively Spike reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Do you have other family here in LA?”
Visibly brightening, Buffy replied, “Yes actually. I have a younger sister, Dawn.” Buffy smiled fondly as she thought of her vibrant, energetic sister. “She turns 21 tomorrow and she’s forcing me to go to her favourite club,” she said cringing.
Spike laughed at the look on her face. “Not your scene love?”
“I figure any place called The Fish Tank is not somewhere I would normally go, no. But she knows I’d do just about anything for her so…”
“Sounds like you’re very close.”
Buffy nodded. “We are. Especially now that Mom is gone.” Buffy shook her head, obviously fighting back the tears that suddenly clouded her eyes. Looking up at him she smiled brightly and stated, “Let’s move onto more cheerful things shall we? Tell me, when did you decide you wanted to be an actor?”
Following her lead, Spike was about to launch into his usual speech about enjoying the world of pretend and getting the chance to do lots of things he would never have the courage to do as himself, when he suddenly paused with his mouth open. Why did he become an actor? It was a question he hadn’t asked himself in quite a while and he took a moment to actually think about it.
“I wanted people to see me,” he said quietly.
Buffy looked at him in a questioning manner. “See you how?” she asked.
“I was…forgettable…when I was young. Didn’t have many acquaintances, no real friends. Spent way too much time writing some of the most pitiful poetry every to be recorded on paper.” He saw Buffy’s understanding smile, rather than the laughter he had expected, and continued. “There was a girl. Cecily. To my eyes she was perfect. Beautiful, intelligent, witty. I wanted her to notice me. So I decided to change. Become the kind of man that women like her wanted to be with. I talked different, dressed different, walked different, the whole bit.”
“Did it work?” Buffy asked, watching him with interest.
“Not a whit,” he replied with a chuckle. “Turned out she was already in love with someone else. I did become popular though. People started to pay attention to me, even sought me out. I was able to make people feel good, give them want they wanted to see. Realised it was a bit of a gift. So when I went to university I studied drama. Before long I was getting parts in some major plays, and the rest as they say is history.” He finished with a flourish and a big grin, which faded slightly when he saw Buffy frowning.
“Something wrong love?”
“It didn’t work,” she said sadly.
“What do you mean?” He had no idea why he’d told her about that time in his life, things he hadn’t told anyone before. But now that he had, he found himself holding his breath as he awaited her response.
“People still don’t see you,” she replied. “They only see what you want them to see, or what you think they want to see. They notice you, but they don’t see you.”
Spike stared at her in shock. He hadn’t meant to reveal so much of himself to her and found he was uncomfortable with the depth of her insight. He was just opening his mouth to deny her words when their waiter arrived to take their order and the moment was lost.
After the waiter left an awkward silence fell between them. Buffy realised she had touched a nerve and could have sworn she could almost see him withdrawing from her. So she wasn’t surprised when he suddenly asked her to tell him about herself.
She shrugged. “There’s not much to tell really. I grew up in a little town a couple of hours from here called Sunnydale,” she began. “I studied law at college but unfortunately Mom’s business took a turn for the worse and we couldn’t afford the last year of school. So I became a legal secretary. I moved to LA when a position came up in my friend Willow’s firm.”
“You have a friend named Willow?” he asked in surprise.
Buffy blanched as she realised her mistake. “Yes,” she blurted, hoping he wouldn’t notice her sudden anxiety. “Freaky huh?”
“Yeah,” Spike replied with a smile. “I imagine it’s not a very common name.”
“Exactly,” Buffy replied with an almost-too-bright laugh. She paused to gather her thoughts, dropping her hands into her lap so he wouldn’t see them shaking. “So anyway, I’ve been with her firm for about five years now.”
“Doesn’t that get confusing? The two of you working in the same place?”
“You have no idea,” she said baldly. Then, attempting to look convincing she continued, “But she is actually a lawyer now and we work in different departments so it’s not too bad.”
Spike seemed to accept her words and simply asked, “Do you think you’ll go back and finish your studies one day?”
Relaxing slightly, Buffy replied, “I’d like too some day, but I’m not sure I’ll get around to it. That’s okay though, I’m happy with my work and my life. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything.”
“That’s great,” Spike said with a nod. “A lot of people aren’t able to adapt to life’s punches so well. It’s good that you’ve found something you enjoy, even if it’s not what you originally planned.”
“Thank you William.” Buffy smiled shyly at his compliment and took a big gulp of her wine.
After they finished their meal Spike suggested they take a short stroll along the beach before taking her home. He held her hand to steady her as she removed her shoes so she could feel the sand beneath her feet. Then, when she would have pulled away he tightened his grip, threading their fingers together. Unable to resist, Buffy could only smile when he winked at her, and allow him to tug her down to the waterline.
The silence between them was more comfortable now, as they wandered near the water’s edge. Seeing her shiver, Spike slipped off his jacket and draped it around her shoulders. Buffy smiled her appreciation and reached for his hand again before continuing down the beach. All too soon they returned to the car and began the short drive back to Buffy’s ‘home’.
As Spike accompanied her to the door Buffy felt a pang of disappointment, knowing that their time was almost up. “I want to thank you for this evening William,” Buffy said as she gazed up at him. “I had a really lovely time.”
Spike smiled at her warmly. “You’re welcome. So did I.”
For long moments they stood lost in each other’s eyes, unable to turn away. Slowly, Spike lowered his head and lightly brushed his lips against hers. Buffy gasped softly, her heart racing. Lifting his hand, Spike gently caressed her cheek and she leant into his touch. Their lips met again, more firmly, and when at last they parted, Buffy could feel his hot breath on her face as he whispered, “Willow.”
Buffy jumped back as if burned. “I’m sorry, I can’t…” she stammered, her face flushing with embarrassment.
“I’m not pretending.” He spoke firmly, his eyes locked on her with a fierce intensity.
“I know,” she reassured him, realising he had misinterpreted her suddenly apprehension. She opened her mouth to explain, tell him everything, but no sound came out. He’d been so open with her. Somehow she knew that if he realised she’d been lying about who she was the whole time, it would destroy any tender feelings he had for her. Suddenly she couldn’t do it. At least this way, she thought to herself, I have the memory of a wonderful evening I spent with this man.
Desperate for one last touch, Buffy rose up onto her toes to plant a final hard kiss on his lips. Then, with a quiet, “Good night William,” she walked into the house and closed the door behind her.
Spike stood staring at the door long after it had closed. “What the hell just happened”, he muttered to himself. She felt it. I know she did. But the wooden door belied his words and finally, with a confused frown, he turned and made his way back to the car.
[Reviews - 87]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 2399 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Many thanks to Brat for her comments. I'd like to dedicate this one to greyangel, cause she requested a longer chapter. Here it is! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, every reveiws puts a giant smile on my face.