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Chapter 5

A week went by before Buffy headed to Spike’s apartment. She hoped he didn’t mind her dropping by unannounced. She knocked on the door and there was no answer, so she turned the knob and found that it was unlocked. She shrugged and walked inside the apartment, closing the door behind her. She looked around and didn’t see Spike anywhere, until she heard voices coming from his bedroom. She walked closer to his room and saw that the door was open a little. She looked inside to see Spike arguing with a dark haired girl. She caught some of the conversation, though she didn’t really understand what it was about.

Suddenly, the brunette had enough and stomped over to the doorway.

Buffy moved out of the way when she came out of his room.

She stopped to give Buffy a look. “Hey, B. See you later,” she said calmly and then stormed out of the apartment.

Buffy was just relieved that she didn’t seem to be angry at her. She turned her attention on Spike. “What was wrong with Faith? That seemed like a pretty nasty argument.”

Spike shrugged and sat down on his bed. “We just broke up.”

Buffy was surprised, clearly having not expected that, even though they haven’t been seeing each other that long. “What happened?” she asked, moving to sit beside him.

“She found someone else.”

Buffy still couldn’t believe it. Faith seemed to be really into Spike and Buffy couldn’t believe that she would cheat on him. “Who is he?” she asked.

Spike laughed shortly. “It’s not a he.”

Buffy’s eyes bulged. “Oh. Wow. Didn’t see that coming.”

Spike agreed and rubbed the back of his neck. “I should have known really. She always wanted to bring another woman into the bedroom with us. And here I thought my girlfriend was cool.”

“I’m sorry, Spike. She can’t help the fact that she’s a lesbian. At least you found out now before you guys got too involved. You’ve only known her for about a month.”

Spike nodded and looked back at Buffy. “I know you two birds have gotten close. I don’t want you to think that you can’t still be friends with her because of this.”

Buffy shook her head. “I won’t, I just don’t like it when you’re hurting,” she replied softly, resting her head against his shoulder. “It makes me hurt, too.”

Spike smiled and dropped a kiss atop her head. “I’ll be all right, love. It just wasn’t meant to be.”

Buffy then wrapped her arms around him and held him close. “You know you’re my hero, right?”

Spike nodded, his eyes misting with tears. She always knew what to say to make him feel better.

Buffy pulled away to look at him. “You’re always saving me, Spike. You would never let anyone hurt me. I remember when I was twelve and you made Jimmy apologize for calling me names. How you made Parker realize he was a jerk for using me the way he did. I swear, you almost made him cry.” She laughed a little at the memory and then grew serious again as she continued. “I remember when I was sixteen and we went to the pool together because it was so hot outside. Some jerk pushed me in and I ended up hitting my head. You jumped in and pulled me out, giving me CPR when you realized I wasn’t breathing. I probably wouldn’t be here right now if it wasn’t for you. See, you’re my hero. No matter how much we fight or how much we can’t stand each other, you’re always there for me. I’m so grateful to have you in my life.”

Spike held her tighter at her speech. He knew that he would always protect her. She meant so much to him—he was finally starting to realize just how much. Spike’s eyes grew big with realization. He was in love with Buffy. He always knew that he loved her, but he just assumed it was as a sister. But no; this was so much stronger than anything he has ever felt before. It made more sense to him now. How much he hated every guy she was ever with. How much he wanted to kill anyone that hurt her. He wondered why he never realized it before. He’d always told himself that it was just a big brother being overprotective of his little sister, but likewise, he’d knew that wasn’t really the case.

Buffy pulled away when he didn’t reply. “You okay?” she asked with concern.

He was brought out of his reverie by her sweet voice. “I’ll be fine. You know I’ll always be here for you, Buffy,” he said and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re my special girl.”

Buffy smiled at that.

Spike again couldn’t help but notice how gorgeous she was, especially when she smiled. He just had an urge to kiss her, but he knew he shouldn’t. He didn’t think Buffy felt the same way about him and he didn’t want to do anything to scare her away.

He would give her time.

And maybe…

Buffy then stood up and ran her fingers through her hair. “I should go. I just came over to invite you to come to the Bronze tonight. If you’re not doing anything.”

Spike nodded and stood up also. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you then. Maybe you can save a dance for me.”

Spike blushed a little and hoped that she didn’t catch it. It wasn’t something he did very often. “You know I don’t dance, Buffy.”

She shrugged. “There’s a first time for everything. You’re probably not as bad as you think.”

Spike wasn’t so sure. “We’ll see, but I’m not making any promises.”

“That’s all I ask. I’ll see you later.” She kissed his cheek, then was gone.

Spike watched her go with a sigh. He thought about what he would wear later that night. He stopped when that thought entered his mind. He never cared about his appearance before. He wondered if this was what love felt like. He has never really experienced it before. He did care for Drusilla, but it was never really love. He didn’t trust her enough for that. He remembered his mum telling him about it once a long time ago.

She said that you knew you were in love whenever you would constantly think about the other person. That you could feel your heart skip a beat whenever they were near and you just wanted to spend every moment with them.

Spike smiled when he thought about everything his mother told him. Yeah, this was definitely love. His smile quickly faded when he thought about what that meant. He couldn’t just realize that he was in love with his step-sister and expect everything to be okay. He would have to tell her the truth and he was terrified about what the result would be.

Buffy always saw him as an older brother and nothing more, at least that’s what he kept telling himself. She would probably be freaked when she found out the truth.

Spike ran his fingers through his hair and thought about how he would tell her. No matter what happened, he just prayed that he wouldn’t lose her.





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