Buffy stayed in Spike’s arms for quite some time just enjoying the feel of his warmth. She had to admit it felt nice, but the moment didn’t last long because Giles came home. As soon as Giles stepped through the door Buffy jumped out of Spike’s arms as if she had been burned.

Spike looked at Buffy with hurt eyes and then turned to his uncle. “So, did you find one of those calling cards?” he asked in a somewhat mournful tone.


Giles noted the morose tone in his nephew’s voice and looked between Spike and Buffy. He wondered how things had gone between the blond couple while he was gone. If the tone of Spikes voice was any indication then it hadn’t gone well. Settling his eyes on Spike he replied, “Uh yes, as a matter of fact I did.”

Giles pulled the calling card out of his pocket and handed it to Spike. “Just call and let me know when it gets low on minutes and I’ll send you money to get it topped up.”

Spike smiled gratefully. “Thanks Rupes. Mum will be more than happy.”

Spike turned to look at Buffy and saw her fidgeting with the hem of her sweater nervously. Why was she being so distant? He had to admit it stung a bit when Buffy had jumped away from him the second they weren’t alone. He wanted to ask what was bothering her but it wouldn’t do any good with his uncle there. Spike decided he would ask later when they had some time alone.

The three of them stood in the kitchen silently. When the silence became too much Buffy spoke up. “I should go and pack my things so we can get headed back to LA,” and than headed upstairs without giving either British man a second glance.

Giles watched as Buffy retreated from the kitchen up the stairs. Turning to his nephew he asked, full of concern, “Is everything all right between you and Buffy?”

Spike turned and looked in the direction Buffy had just left and muttered softly, “I thought they were.”

Buffy pulled her things from the dresser and began to pack them in her suitcase. She couldn’t get the hurt look on Spike’s face out of her mind. She hadn’t meant to jump away from him like that, it was just a reflex. Reflex? Why did she feel the need to hide the fact that she and Spike now had a relationship that was more than friendly? Buffy snapped out of her thoughts when a soft knock sounded at the door. She let out a sigh as the door opened and Spike came to sit on the bed. Well, it had taken longer than she had thought.

Spike looked up at Buffy and cut right to the chase. “Why did you pull away from me like that when Rupert came home?” he asked softly, voice full of hurt.

Buffy let out a sigh, setting down the shirt she had in her hands. “Spike I didn’t mean to hurt you by jumping away, it’s just,” Buffy stopped to think of how to say this with out upsetting him. “It’s just gonna take some getting used to is all,” she explained softly.

Spike knew he shouldn’t be angry by what Buffy had said, but he was. Looking at her with cold eyes he snapped, “So what, every time I go to touch you when someone is around you’re gonna treat me like a damn leper!” He hadn’t meant to sound so formidable, but he was hurt by her actions.

Buffy scowled and put her hands on her hips. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry if it takes me more than five seconds to adjust to,” gesturing between the two of them, “us.” Buffy snapped back.

Spike let out a groan and flopped back on the bed. “God Buffy, why does it always have to be a fight with you?”

“What? I’m not the one who started this!” she pointed out incredulously.

Spike sat up and chuckled at the irony of the situation “Look at us, it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours and we’re already working on our second argument.” Spike pointed out wearily.

“Well, then maybe this isn’t such a good idea then,” Buffy suggested quietly. She could feel the tears that were stinging the backs of her eyes threatening to surface.

Spike got up from the bed and lifted her chin in his hand as he looked deep in her big green eyes. “Is that really what you want Buffy?” he asked, his voice was full of desperation.

Buffy felt a rouge tear fall from her eye. “I don’t know?” she admitted softly.

Spike felt his heart break in two. He was loosing her. He hadn’t had her for more than twelve hours and she was already slipping through his fingers. Swallowing down the lump in his throat, he cupped her cheeks and placed a soft kiss to her lips. “Well when you figure it out let me know.” Spike whispered and then turned and walked away shutting the door behind him.

Buffy waited for the door to close before falling face first on the bed and letting out a strangled sob. How had things gone so wrong between them? Rolling on her back Buffy wiped away her tears and took a cleansing breath. Did she really want to end things with Spike? The simple answer was no. Buffy got off the bed and new determination went to tell Spike how she felt.

Spike slammed the door of his room and let the tears that he had been holding in fall. He wiped at them furiously as he paced his room. Spike found his cigarettes on the dresser and lit one up, letting the nicotine wash over him. Why wasn’t this making him feel better? With a frustrated growl, Spike snuffed out the lit cigarette under his boot and tossed it in the trashcan. Spike frowned noticing the only thing in the trashcan was his cigarette. Had Giles emptied the trash this morning? No, he couldn’t have because Spike went down and talked to him in the kitchen and then his uncle had left for the store. So if Giles hadn’t emptied the trash can, then where were the used condoms that should have been in the trash?

Spike felt his stomach drop to his knees. Oh buggering fucking hell! There were no used condoms because they hadn’t used any. Spike felt as if the air was being sucked out of the room. How could he have been so stupid? Did Buffy realize that they had had unprotected sex? Obviously not because she would have said something to him by now. Spike sat on the edge of his bed and buried his face in his hands. As if things weren’t bad enough already, now they would have to worry about Buffy potentially being pregnant. Spike was brought from his thoughts by a knock at the door. Wiping away all traces of tears, he opened the door and was surprised to see Buffy standing there.

Buffy looked up at Spike and asked quietly, “Can I come in?”

Spike stepped aside to let her in. Shutting the door he turned and started, “Buffy I think…” But was cut off by Buffy’s lips pressed firmly against his. Once the shock subsided he returned her kiss with equal fervor.

Buffy pulled away and murmured softly, “I’m sorry.”

“Buffy I…” Buffy placed a finger to Spikes lips to quiet him. Buffy looked Spike deep in the eyes. “No Spike, lets just start over, can we do that?”


Spike stared back at Buffy. He really should say something about the protection thing, but she looked so happy that he couldn’t bring himself to ruin the moment. Pushing all thoughts away he smiled and agreed. “I would like that.” He could wait to talk to her about their lack of birth control, right now it was about them starting over.

Buffy smiled and hugged Spike. “I’m so sorry Spike; I really do want to try to make this work.”

Spike nuzzled Buffy’s neck and inhaled deeply. God she felt good in his arms. How had he ever lived without this? Pulling back so he could see her face he said, “I’m sorry too pet, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like I did, we’ll take things as slow as you need. I promise from here on out things will only get better for us Buffy, you’ll see.” Spike placed a chaste kiss to her lips and laid her cheek against his chest. Kissing the top of her head Spike closed his eyes and prayed that he could keep that promise.





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