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Author's Chapter Notes:
Sorry it took so long to get this out - longer AN at the bottom.
Chapter 24:


Since Dawn was back home for her last two weeks of winter break, Buffy and William had both decided that it would be better for all three of them if they didn't sleep together in the same room at night. Although they weren't too happy about the situation, neither one wanted Dawn asking any questions or jumping to any conclusions. However, that didn't mean that they couldn't be discrete and still find a way to spend the later part of the night together.

It was late in the night and William was still awake. He had said goodnight to the girls a few hours ago, but was lying on his bed reading the fourth Harry Potter book. He was getting ready to close the book for the night when he heard quiet knock on his bedroom door. He looked over at his clock on the night table. 1:30, he thought. Just like every other night this past week, right on time.

The door slowly opened, and Buffy walked inside, carefully closing the door behind her. She was dressed in a satin pajama set; the spaghetti-strapped top was a simple shade of pink, while the calf-length bottoms were a striped pattern of pink, green, and white. She smiled brightly at him before walking up and jumping onto the bed.

"Hey there, you," she said softly. She leaned up and gave him a soft peck on the lips.

"Hello," he said, placing his bookmark inside the book and setting it aside. "What's up?"

"'What's up?'" she teased, mocking his greeting with a poorly done British accent. "I think that's the first time I've ever heard you say that, and not blush at my scandalous attire." She winked when she said the last part, thinking back to their first morning and his clear discomfort when he saw her climb out from underneath the sheets.

William grinned. "There have been many firsts in the last couple of days," he said.

"That there have," she agreed, leaning up to kiss him again. "And I don't regret a one of them."

"Me either. Besides, even though it is still new to me, I think am beginning to understand the advantages of you dressed in such a fashion," he continued.

William raised her head and pulled her closer towards him. As he gently kissed her, he couldn't help but think on just how addicting kissing Buffy had become. But when he felt her tongue press against his lips, he forgot any and all thoughts that were racing though his mind, as he always did whenever they kissed so passionately.

"Not that I mind in the slightest," William whispered hoarsely when they broke apart, "but what brings you here?"

"I brought our journal," Buffy explained, holding it up in her hand. "I finally finished writing my first entry, sorry it took me so long to start writing. So, since we don't have to leave it in the desk anymore, I thought it'd be best to bring it here myself."

William took the journal from her hand and placed it at his side. "Thank you, I will read over it as soon as I can."

"Good." Buffy pressed her head against his chest and wrapped her arm around his waist. "I wish I could stay here the rest of the night."

"As do I," he agreed, breathing in the scent of her hair before pressing a kiss on the top of her head. God, if Mother could see me now, he couldn't help but think with a sight smile on his face.

"But who knows what Dawn might say tomorrow morning," Buffy regretfully said. "I...I don't want her to think...well, you know, that we're..."

Oh, William thought, understanding what she was not saying aloud. "Right, and I agree."

Buffy smiled up at him before rising and sitting back on her knees. "Don't worry, she'll only be here for a bit over a week and then we'll have the apartment to ourselves for four more months."

William couldn't help but grin and nod. "Yes, that is something to look forward to."

She leaned forward to kiss him again, pouring all the emotion and love that she felt for this wonderful man into her kiss. "Oh William," she whispered, "there are so many things to look forward to, you have no idea..."

Whenever the two of them kissed, William was beginning to notice a reoccurring habit. When Buffy placed her hands on his waist, he would wrap his around her neck. When she moved her hands towards his neck, he would just trade places and leave his hands resting against her side. And part of him was beginning to think there was...more, than just leaving your hands hanging like dead weight while doing something so intimate and loving.

Suddenly, he realized that a large part of him wanted to tell her that he did want to know...he wanted to know what was beyond kissing and everything else that the high society of his era abhorred. But he didn't want to rush them, didn't want to push her, and didn't want to act so hastily that they'd regret it later. And when he glanced down and saw how deeply Buffy had been affected by their heated embrace, he actually had to fight to keep himself from reaching out and touching her and feeling what that part of her felt like. Nevertheless, he pushed back his desire, swallowed back his words, and mentally scolded himself for being so wanton.

"I'd better be getting back to my room," she whispered regretfully. "I have work tomorrow morning, after all."

"Right," William said. He sat up and reached out to touch her one last night for the night. "I love you," he added softly.

"I-" Buffy's voice caught in her throat. Some part of her was just still unable to say those three simple words - words that William longed to hear, she was sure of it, words that should be so easy to say, especially when she meant it with every inch of her heart. Saying those words meant giving her heart completely to this man, and whether it was just so sudden or the information surrounding their entire relationship too weird, she still wasn't ready to give in yet.

"I know," she whispered. "Good night."

"Good night, my heart."

Buffy kissed him once more, her lips lingering over his for one second, before she climbed off of his bed and left the room.

William lay there for several long minutes, thinking over what had just happened. He had actually been fine with seeing her dressed for the evening - it might be the first time he hadn't blushed at all. But even more importantly, he had actually been curious about perusing their intimacy even further. It was as if kissing was no longer enough, and as he rolled over to turn off the lamp and sleep, he made a note to talk to Buffy about it the next time they were together in private.

 
~~~

 
William woke up to silence and when he looked towards the window, he noticed that it was shining brightly from behind the curtains. When he rolled over to look at the clock on his night table, it read 9:30. Buffy! he thought, sitting up and wiping the sleep from his eyes. It was the first time that he had missed waking up to help her with breakfast and see her off to work.

He rose from bed and left his room, heading towards the kitchen and wondering if she had fixed anything herself. When he approached the table, he saw a sheet of paper with Buffy's handwriting on the top half lying in the center of the table. He sat down and read what she had written.

 
Good morning, Sleepyhead! See? Not as easy as thought it was to keep waking up so early in the morning, huh? I just wanted to let you know that I managed to cook myself breakfast without burning the building down, and that I'll be back at the usual time for dinner and a relaxing evening with my favorite guy on the planet (That would be you, by the way.)

 
I'll call you this afternoon.
Yours,
Buffy

 
William picked up the note and folded it in half before returning to his room and placing it in the drawer of his night table. He didn't dare throw out anything that she had written to him; everything she did to show her care was important to him.

He then picked up their journal, which was still on his bed, and returned to the kitchen to make breakfast for himself.

Several minutes later, Dawn emerged from her room, blinking from the brightness of the room and walking to the kitchen.

"Good morning, Dawn," William greeted from the stove.

"G'morning," she grumbled.

William smiled, thinking about how similar she sounded to her sister in the morning; neither of the two were morning people, that was for sure. "I am making myself some toast and eggs, would you like some?"

"Yes please," she said, walking towards the fridge and taking out the orange juice. When she sat down at the table with a glass full of juice in her hand, she said, "Thank goodness someone in this house can cook."

"Your sister isn't terrible," he said, trying to defend his girlfriend. "She has improved, you must give her that."

"That's because she's been watching you very carefully," Dawn corrected him. He sat a plate with eggs and two pieces of toast down in front of her and she muttered a "thanks" before picking it up and heading into the living room. A second later, William heard the television come to life and what could only be the sound of morning cartoons.

William sat in the seat that Dawn had just vacated and opened the journal to Buffy's entry. He began to eat as he started to read what she had written, but quickly became too absorbed in her words to worry about eating while his food was still warm.

 
January 11, 2005

Dearest William,

I'm about to head into your room, well, sneak might be the best word for it, but wanted to write to you for the first time. This was such a thoughtful, meaningful present, William, and I couldn't have asked for anything better. It really is great to have this form of communication open to us again, as it was the catalyst for our relationship, it's what got everything started to begin with, and I'm so thankful that you went out that day and bought that journal and desk. What would we have done without those events taking place?

See? I'm rambling even now. Basically, what I'm saying is that I'm just so grateful that what has happened has happened. I can't imagine my life without you in it now...you're just so important to me, I don't know what I'd do without you. And I should tell you that more often - in those important words, but...I'm so bad at saying what I mean face to face, so I figured I would say it through words - after all, that's what our journal is for, right?

Basically, it comes down to this. Part of me, a small, barely there but definitely still with me, part of me, is still afraid to go in 100% - that if I fully give my heart to you, it can be fully broken. I think it's still an aftereffect of Warren's impact on my life and mental state, but...that's me. It's who I am...afraid to jump off the deep end of the pool because I'm still afraid I'm going to get hurt. But at least I'm actually telling this to you instead of bottling it up inside of me like last time.

I hate that I can't bring myself to fully open my heart. All I ask is that you give me time and please be patient with me...and all we can hope for is that one day, I can tell you what you want to hear.

 
Yours,
Buffy

 
~~~

 
Buffy unlocked the front door and walked inside, dropping her bag by the door and closing it behind her. When she turned around, William was sitting on the couch with his laptop resting on his lap.

"Hey," she greeted. "You look like you've had a busy day."

William smiled and closed his laptop before placing it on the coffee table. He stood up and walked closer towards her. "Hello," he greeted.

"What's up?"

"I read what you wrote in our journal," William began. "I did not reply because I wanted to give my reply in person, rather than writing for once."

"Oh...oh," she murmured, wondering if he was upset by what he had read. "Look, William, I'm sorry if-"

"Don't," he said. He then took a few steps closer and kissed her, part of him cheering inside that he could do such a romantic thing on a whim. "Do not apologize for what you feel, okay?"

"Okay," she whispered. "I just...I hate to think that I can't give you what you give me, and-"

"I love you," he said, cutting her off. "I love you, and I will love you regardless of how you may feel. I know you've been through a lot with Warren, and I know that part of you is afraid to give in entirely. I heard it last night before you left...that catch in your voice as you tried to force the words out. But I don't want them forced...I want you to say those words when you truly do feel it, when you can't not say them any longer."

Buffy's heart melted inside and again, she thanked whoever from above who had brought this incredible man into her life.

"But I'm going to say them, because I do love you, and I want to let you know that as often as possible," he continued. "I cannot say that I am alright with never hearing them back, but hopefully...perhaps one day I will."

Buffy leaned forward and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him tightly and wishing that she never had to let go. "Thank you, thank you so much," she whispered. How a man as wonderful as this could be so patient with a mix-up like herself truly meant the world to her. "You will...just give me time to get there, and one day..."

He kissed her nose before rubbing it with his own. "That is all I ask for."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and thought that maybe he wouldn't have to wait as long as he thought he might.

 
~~~

 
Dawn was getting ready to head to her room for the night when she turned around and looked at her sister and William. They were sitting together very closely watching television and trying to pretend that they weren't eager to see Dawn retire for the evening.

"Y'know," she started. "If you two want to sleep in the same bed at night, don't let me stop you."

Buffy and William's heads both shot towards her before Dawn could even blink, and she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at their same response.

"What are you talking about Dawn?" Buffy asked.

"Oh c'mon, I wasn't born yesterday," Dawn said. "And I'm not deaf. I could hear the hallway creaking as you two slipped back and forth down the hallway."

Buffy sighed and rolled her eyes. "See? I told you, this girl is nothing but trouble," she told William. "Look Dawn, we're not-"

"No, I really don't mind," Dawn honestly spoke. "But if I ever hear anything coming from either of your rooms, you are going to have to pay for my psychological counseling for the next twenty years, okay?"

Buffy nodded. "Okay, you've got yourself a deal." She grinned when she realized that she would be able to sleep with William tonight. "And thanks."

"No problem," Dawn said. "I'm rootin' for you two," she added in all sincerity. She genuinely thought that William was it for Buffy - the one - and she hoped with all of her might that they would make it work. She had never seen her sister happier, even when she had been dating Warren before he had become abusive, and she had a feeling that William was the long haul guy.

"Thank you, Dawn," William said, sending her a thankful smile and slight nod, although his cheeks were slightly pink from hearing her sister speak so openly about their nightly habits.

"Good night, guys," Dawn said before opening her bedroom door and shutting it softly behind her.

"Good night," the two replied together.

There was a beat of silence before Buffy turned off the television and turned to look at William. He did the same and noticed that gleam in her eyes that meant she was intently thinking about something.

"Ready for bed?" she asked, looking at him with a sly expression on her face.

"God, yes," he answered.

Buffy walked back to her room to change for the evening while William did the same in his. He quickly brushed his teeth and ran a comb through his unruly locks before turning out the lights and walking back to Buffy's bedroom.

He pulled back the covers and crawled into bed, waiting for Buffy to come out of the bathroom.

A few seconds later she emerged wearing a short satin nightgown with lace on the bottom and top hem. William stared at her in both surprise and surprisingly, desire.

"Do you remember this?" Buffy asked, walking closer towards William before climbing in beside him.

William thought for a couple of seconds and then slowly nodded. "This is what you were wearing the morning we first met."

Buffy nodded. "Yep, and I wanted to see if you could handle it. It looks like you've come a long way from that first morning." She reached out and touched his cheeks, which were just barely tinted pink in embarrassment.

She leaned forward and kissed him, and, as usual, what had started out so gentle and innocent, quickly turned into something much more passionate and excited.

When they broke to take several deep breaths of air, William whispered, "Show me what else I can do to...for you."

Buffy's breath caught in her throat and she wasn't sure if she had heard him correctly. Was this really her shy, innocent poet who just a few weeks ago hadn't even been able to stand the sight of her bare legs. "What?" she breathlessly asked.

"I...I'm not ready for - for everything," he began. "But...I feel as if I should be more...I don't know, hands on?" At saying that he truly did turn red in embarrassment at the double entendre, but tried his best to continue speaking what he had thought about earlier in the afternoon and as if he were confident of himself. "Teach me what to do to...to please you."

Buffy sighed in happiness and closed her eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. "William, you have no idea how many women would love to hear their boyfriend say that to them every night."

Buffy pushed him back on the bed and came closer to him. She thought about straddling his waist, but quickly dismissed that thought when she saw how nervous he already was. So she simply sat down beside him and smiled. She took his hands into hers and kissed the back of each one.

"So you want to be more hands on, huh?" She winked before squeezing his hands. "Well, here goes. Lesson the first..."

 
TBC...



Thank you all for waiting for the newest chapter! I'm sorry it took so long to get this out...the holiday and start of a new school, as well as some other things going on in life with family and career, have kept me from really sitting down to write and concentrate on this story. I guess part of it was my discouragement from the lack of reviews at the time, that I do remember as well.


Also, the story was nominated at a few other sites - THANK YOU to whoever nominated me! :) I'm just so glad that readers go out and think about this story for awards. I really do appreciate it!


Anyway, I hope all of my readers are still with me and will continue to enjoy the story - yes, I plan to get back to some actual plot instead of fluff starting with the next chapter, and I would LOVE to hear what you have to say about this chapter. Hopefully you haven't forgotten too much about what's going on, right? ;) Leave some love!

ETA: OH! And I totally didn't know that this had started already, but it's voting time at the Sunnydale Memorial Fanfiction awards! So, if you enjoy my story, please support it by voting here: http://sunnydawards.dragonydreams.com/





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