Chapter 9:
Christmas was quickly approaching, and although the weather remained around a warm 70 degrees, the Christmas spirit was definitely in the air. Buffy was thankful for having the distraction of shopping and preparing for the holiday, as it kept her mind away from Warren and William. With December 25th just over two weeks away, Buffy knew that she would have to brave the overcrowded malls to find gifts for her friends and family.
Buffy rushed home that evening with several shopping bags in both of her hands, eager to get inside and see if a new entry from William awaited her.
Although her main intention had been to shop for others tonight, she had managed to get slightly off track and shop for herself as well. She splurged and purchased some new clothes for herself, including a new nightgown, a couple of sweaters, and lingerie. A girl can never have too much of that stuff, she had thought when she purchased them. Buffy figured that she deserved to spend a little bit on herself after her last series had sold so quickly.
After her run-in with Warren that day, Buffy had taken a few days off from work to pull herself together. During those days, she had turned to William and the two wrote sometimes twice a day, before she had returned to work as a somewhat back-to-normal-Buffy. She smiled, laughed, and joked, but kept an eye out for Warren the entire time, worried that he would show up at the worst time possible, like he always did.
Now, with everything that was going on and Christmas being exactly fifteen days from now, Buffy had many things to keep her occupied. Most importantly, Dawn would be home in one more week. Buffy could hardly wait to have her home for four entire weeks.
The gallery was also doing better than ever, which kept Buffy quite busy at work these days. Her last series of portraits had sold out over the last couple weeks of November. Buffy had immediately begun a new series. While she worked, she had kept everything a secret from her clients and friends, Willow as the sole exception. Her friend had happened to walk into the studio while Buffy was in the middle of painting.
Picking out the house key from her key-chain, Buffy shifted all of her bags into one hand as she unlocked the door. Once inside, she dropped all the bags to the floor, closed and locked the door behind her, and turned to walk down the hallway.
"I hope he got a chance to write back," Buffy prayed as she sat down in front of her desk.
A second later, her prayers were answered.
December 10, 1882
My Dearest Buffy,
Christmas time is drawing near and filling our house with joy and excitement. Emily-Grace grows a bit more anxious each passing day, and her joy is infectious. She has been pestering both myself and our cook to help her in creating the perfect gingerbread house as well as various other holiday deserts.
As for presents, Emmy keeps asking for a toy theater, which have become quite the craze for young girls this season. Mother gave me a little bit extra to go to town this afternoon to purchase the best wooden stage, character sheets, and scenery I could find. After all, Emmy deserves the best Christmas possible this year.
You asked how my mother was doing in your last entry. Regretfully, I must say that Mother's illness has been growing worse with each day as the cold weather does not agree with her one bit. I fear that this may very well be the last Christmas the three of us share together. Therefore, I plan on making this the most joyful Christmas the three of us have ever had. From the handmade decorations and Christmas Eve feast Emily-Grace is planning, I am certain that it will be.
As I was in town shopping for my sister's Christmas present this afternoon, I found myself suddenly shopping for you instead. However, I am almost certain that the gifts we have in 1882 are primitive when compared to what you could buy in 2004. Nevertheless, how I wish I could send a gift to you this Christmas and watch your face light up as you opened it. That would fill me with such happiness, something as simple as watching you open a gift, Buffy. However, all I can give you are my words, if you will take that.
I did stop into the Book Shop while I was shopping for Emily-Grace's present this afternoon. I asked the bookkeeper if he had any more journals like ours in his stock. Unfortunately, he said that he thought they would no longer be carrying those journals for whatever reason. I fear that with the pages in our journal growing fewer each day, we must look for a new journal all together, since your idea of purchasing an identical journal will not work.
Unfortunately, I must now end this entry, or, as you so often say, 'cut this one short.' We are setting up decorations around the house. Mother is watching Emily-Grace run around like a mad woman, insisting that all of her decorations look perfect. Now she is demanding that I help her reach the top of the doorway downstairs to hang the garlands and wreath. Why the girl cannot simply get a chair to stand on is beyond me.
Take care, my heart,
William
Buffy sighed and leaned back into her chair, his words washing over her and calming her frazzled nerves instantly.
She loved how William tried to use the slang words and phrases that she used in her own entries. That change was all because of her and Buffy took joy in seeing how much more relaxed and informal he was now when compared to his first few messages.
Everything he wrote made her smile or laugh, as she tried to picture what he wrote about. Now that Christmas was approaching, she was learning so much about how families celebrated the holiday in 1882. The way William explained things, it sounded as if the three of them would have a wonderful Christmas together.
However, Buffy couldn't help but worry for their mother, especially with the holiday approaching. Unfortunately, she too shared William's suspicions that this might be the last holiday the three shared. Buffy had researched consumption, or TB as it was now known in 2004, on the Internet and discovered that there was next to nothing that could be done the cure it in 1882 since doctors lacked the necessary medicines and techniques to cure this disease. Buffy had been continuously praying that Anne would recover, however, for she feared that her death would absolutely tear William and Emily-Grace apart.
She, too, wished that she could give something to William for the holiday. After all, he had helped her get through so much with Warren a month ago. His words and strength had helped her keep moving day after day, and she found that she had nothing to give to him in return. For several minutes while she had been walking around the mall earlier that evening, Buffy couldn't help but look at something and ask herself, would William like this? While she had been shopping for herself, she looked at several different sweaters and skirts and wondered, would William like me in this?
Yeah, as Dawn would say, she had it bad. Very bad.
But what else could she do but keep writing? At the rate they had been writing, one of them would have to purchase a new journal before the year was out. In her last entry, Buffy had suggested that William go back to the bookstore again and look for a journal identical to he one they wrote in. At the same time, she would stop in at Barnes and Noble to look at the journals they sold just in case he was unsuccessful.
She had finally decided on a dark brown leather journal with a brown ribbon bookmark attached inside as well as a place to hold a pen on the back cover. She decided that she would surprise him with this Christmas morning, and she would include a pen as well. She couldn't wait to see what William thought of ballpoint pens for the first time. Buffy just hoped that the new journal and ink pen would cross through time and arrive in 1882 successfully.
"Never thought I would be thinking that," Buffy said to herself. It was amazing how quickly things could change. Just over three months ago, the idea of time travel had seemed impossible and ridiculous; now, she wasn't sure if she would be able to get through the day without reading an entry from William.
Buffy looked down and noticed that William had written a new ending line. My heart.
"My heart," Buffy whispered, feeling a warm sensation run through her at the thought of meaning so much to him.
Ever since an entry that William had written back in mid-November, Buffy had suspected that his feelings had progressed past the point of mere friendship. With each entry, he found some small way of showing how much he truly cared for her. Usually, it was a small compliment slipped in his writing; however, this time, it was his new farewell.
Buffy, on the other hand, wasn't brave enough to write how she felt about him in words. Although she harbored feelings for William deep in her heart, that is where they remained. She didn't have the courage to express them on paper. Even though the logical part of her mind told herself it was ridiculous to think so, another part of her was filled with a slight twinge of fear that she would be rejected, laughed at, or ignored - something else she had Warren to thank for. Buffy just wasn't willing to take the risk since she knew, and Buffy knew that she couldn't handle rejection coming from William.
December 11, 2004
Dearest William,
Yes, Christmas is getting closer each day and all my friends and I are starting to get very excited! Willow and Tara, Xander and Anya, and I are all starting to decorate our apartments, and I finally started my Christmas shopping tonight. I bought some gifts for a few of my friends, but am having problems finding something for Dawn.
Dawn is coming home in exactly a week, and I can't wait to have her back home for four whole weeks to bring some life into this place. Actually, it'll be only three weeks since she is going skiing with some friends for five days in Aspen, Colorado - but I am glad to have her home for as long as I can. Anyway, we'll probably go get a Christmas tree the day she gets back home and decorate it with handmade ornaments that evening. We have this big tradition of baking dozens upon dozens of cookies and giving them out to all of our friends. And then on Christmas day we always go and see a movie with the gang.
Christmas has never been the same without mom, that's to be expected, but we make do. It was really hard our first year - Dawn didn't want to do anything b/c everything reminded her of Mom, and I went overboard trying to do everything perfectly because I thought that she and I would want to be reminded of everything Mom did for us. Finally, after a long, loud - which is very typical of us - Summers argument, we decided to start over just the two of us and create some good traditions all our own. That's when we decided to see a movie and bake cookies.
I went shopping this evening and several times I found myself looking at a couple of things and thinking - I wonder if William would like that? Just as you wrote that you had done this afternoon. Silly me, I know - first off, kinda impossible to give it to you, and secondly, I don't know what you'd like. Probably half the stuff in this century, you wouldn't know what to do with, no offence. Either that, or it would simply freak you out.
I also went to a bookstore here and bought a new journal for us when the pages in this one are filled - which, from the looks of things, will be very soon.
And lastly, I am so sorry to hear about your mother's worsening health. I am sure that the weather there right now cannot be great for her, but hopefully you'll have a mild winter and the warm weather will return soon. I continue to keep you and yours in my prayers and hope that she will get back to 100% soon.
That's about all for now. I'm just going to take it easy today after all that shopping I did, so I will talk to you later.
Yours,
Buffy
Buffy closed the journal and placed it back like normal. She then stood and went to unpack what she had bought for herself, and she took the bags that were for her friends and placed them in her closet.
The more she thought about it, the more she desperately wanted to give William a present for Christmas. Something, anything, would be better than giving him nothing, after all. It just didn't seem right to not give him something for Christmas after everything he had said in their journal to help her get through Warren and her tough days.
Maybe I'll think of something, she thought. After all, Christmas was still two weeks away; she had plenty of time. I’ll sleep on it and think about it tomorrow when my mind is fresh.
~~~
Buffy woke up the next morning feeling relaxed and content. Sunday was Buffy's favorite day of the week because she could sleep in as late as she wanted to, and she didn't have to go into work or stress over her new series for an entire day.
She had dreamed of William again last night. They had been lying together on the couch, simply being, and Buffy could distinctly remember seeing a framed photo of the two of them placed on the coffee table in front of the sofa. As she stretched and sat up in bed, Buffy knew what she could give William for Christmas. That was, as long as it worked.
Buffy rose from her bed and walked over to the full-length mirror and pulled off a photo from its frame. It was a photograph of herself that Xander had taken a few weeks ago when the five of them had gone to the town's small Thanksgiving parade. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold morning air. She was wearing a fairly heavy jacket, and her hair was blowing around behind her from the wind, but it was the most recent photograph she had of herself, and it was decent enough that she didn't mind William seeing it.
Buffy sat down at her desk and opened up the journal, seeing the entry she wrote last night and nothing else after that.
"William must be pretty busy," Buffy murmured, grabbing a pen. From what he had written last night and in his previous entries, it sounded like his family would be spending all of their time getting ready for Christmas day.
December 12, 2004
My dear William,
I decided to try something new. If this works, then Merry Christmas! Or, Happy Christmas as you Brits say (which I still say is the completely wrong thing). It isn't much, but this is the best I could do. Please turn the page!
Buffy tucked the photo of herself behind the page she had just written, wanting to surprise William when he turned the page. She hoped that it would work and wondered why she hadn't thought of this months ago when they were trying to picture what the other looked like. Her main reasoning for not trying to send objects through the journal until now was that she simply thought that it wouldn't work. Buffy thought that the objects might not travel through correctly, but she was even more afraid of screwing up the magic that allowed them to write to each other. Buffy would rather never know what William looked like and be able to keep writing to him than send an object through once and destroy their link across time.
She was about to close the journal when she suddenly realized that there was more she wanted to say, and something she wanted to ask as well. Turning to the page to where she had placed her image, Buffy continued to write before closing the journal and placing it back into the desk.
"I hope that works," she muttered, sweeping her hair out of her eyes before standing up to get ready for the day.
~~~
TBC...
Reposting...If you could please take the time to leave a new review for this chapter since I did not backup the reviews for this one, I would just LOVE you forever!
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Reposting...If you could please take the time to leave a new review for this chapter since I did not backup the reviews for this one, I would just LOVE you forever!