Silently they all watched Buffy who had been unnaturally still for the last hour. Spike was barely hanging on by a thread himself, half-wishing she would just give in so he could follow her into death, when he felt a jolt of electricity skitter across his skin. Before he could react, there was another and another and while he moved as far back as possible, he refused to let go of her hand.
He clinched his jaw, waiting for the blue jolts to sting his hands but to his surprise, they never touched his own skin. He could smell Buffy’s scent changing, altering but just when he thought, he’d have to carry out his promise, she opened her eyes and looked at him. “Buffy…”
Reacting on instinct as her bones re-knit themselves and her cuts sealed, she punched him in the nose.
“What in the bloody hell was that for!” Spike demanded, holding his nose. He’d seen her looking back at him, so despite the lightshow and all the other things that didn’t add up, he had no doubt that it had been his girl who had hit him.
“You idiot, you could have died!” She shot back; pushing her legs over the table, she poked her finger in his chest already loving the side benefits of being an Immortal. Her Slayer healing had always been impressive but now she didn't feel the slightest bit of pain. “You’re a big evil vampire remember, that’s means you don’t pull noble crap like killing yourself to save me!”
“Yeah well next time, I’ll let you die then eh.” Spike shot back inwardly pleased that she seemed genuinely concerned for him.
She gave him a brilliant smile before launching herself into his arm and pulling him close. Burying her face in his chest, she breathed in his scent, unconsciously rubbing her check against him to mark him with her own. “I love you Spike, so no more heroics. You promised me always and I don‘t want to be mated to a big pile of dust.”
Before he could reply she felt someone latch on to her arm and due to the close proximity to her mate, she took it to mean they were under attack. In a blur of motion, she had spun around and blindly landed a solid punch to the center of Angel’s chest. Dispassionately she watched him stagger back as her eyes bled to a pure gold. “Listen Angel, I shouldn’t have hit you but you can’t grab me like that. A lot has changed and until I work out the kinks, I need you to give me some space while I get used to you again.”
Stunned, Angel twisted his lips into a cold sneer. “What the hell is going on, what did he do to you?”
A low warning growl reverberated deep in the pit of her stomach and unlike before, she allowed it to escape her lips. “Spike is my mate and what’s happening to me is Slayer stuff. Now right now you need to control yourself because a very big part of me wants to beat you for talking to me like that and the longer you glare at me, the more it sounds like a good idea. I’ve had a rough night and I know you all have a lot of questions but if you want to be in the room to hear the answers, you have to calm down. The more agitated your scent gets, the harder it gets to stop myself.”
“You’re not Buffy.” He told her his voice laced with disgust.
She started forward without thinking but when she felt Spike’s arms wrap around her waist to pull her close, she calmed down. Turning her head, she looked at Giles. “Make him behave or make him leave, you and I need to talk and Spike isn’t strong enough to hold me back for very long.”
Noting the odd color of her eyes and the almost animalistic intend in their depths, he found himself believing Angel was correct. “How do we know that you are Buffy?”
“Her scent is the same, a little different, but it’s still her.” Spike said pulling her down onto his lap. “If Peaches would calm down like the lady asked he’d realize that.”
Giles looked at Angel and after a few tense moments, he nodded. “Very well, I suggest we all sit down and discuss what’s going on.”
Buffy pressed against Spike, enjoying the way the soft purr inside his chest soothed her. “We’re going to have to have some ground rules. Right now, you all, even Angel feel like family but the smell of your fear and anger is playing hell with my mood. I’m torn between wanting to stroke Willow and Xander to calm them and ripping Angel apart for challenging my dominance.”
“You ah…want to…stroke me?” Xander asked not knowing if he should be happy or worried about that.
Buffy laughed gently and gave him a knowing smile. “Don’t get any ideas Xand, it’s not a sexual feeling more like you and Wills are my cubs. The need to mark you all with my scent is a little overwhelming right now and I might get all touchy feely but its weird enough without you going all Penthouse fantasy on me.”
“Didn’t know you had little ones pet, that’s the kind of thing a girl should tell a bloke right up front.” Spike teased, as he felt her strength flowing into him through their bond. Whatever had happened he liked it, because even though he hadn’t tasted her blood he felt like he had drained not just one Slayer but several.
“It’s not like you don’t have a few childer of your own Spike.” Buffy said after placing a soft kiss against his ear. “So that makes us the supernatural Brady Bunch…except well your kids might think my kids look tasty.”
“Buffy, I think you should tell us what’s going on.” Giles said partly fascinated by the tender display before him but also very disturbed. “I take it that Spike is also in possession of a soul?”
“No, Spike is soulless and so are his childer.” Buffy said calmly, deciding they needed a little back-story. So she told them about how she and Spike had met, the time they spent together and about their meeting with his family. “That’s what kicked it off, I kept having these animal urges and it freaked me out. Elizabeth’s submission made me happy but the more Dalton shifted around smelling like pure fear; he started to look like a good kill. So I tried to fight the feelings, which led to the not so pleasant breaking of my bones.”
“Dear lord Buffy what were you thinking?” Giles cried out unable to believe all that he was hearing. “Not only did you invite a vampire into you home, you allowed him to lead you to his lair.”
Since her feelings for Giles was different that what she felt for Willow and Xander his outburst didn’t bother her inner demon. “I didn’t understand it either Giles, it’s not like I make a habit of meeting vicious killers and inviting them home for cocoa at movies.”
“Yet that is exactly what you did.” He shot back pulling off his glasses and furiously wiping the lenses on the hem of his oversized sweater.
“I felt drawn to him and the longer I was with him the harder it was to walk away.” Buffy said with a soft smile, relieved that she finally understood why everything had been so off this week. “You might have noticed I’ve been acting differently lately, moodier and believe me my kills have definitely been more bring the pain than plunge and move on. I just figured it was a bad week but I think that it was my demon making itself known.”
“You’re what?” Giles asked stopping mid polish.
“I’ll get into that in a second but I need to ask you something first.” Buffy let her face fall into neutral lines and felt her eyes go blank. “Do you know how the Slayer before me died?”
“No, but why is that an issue?” Giles asked.
Buffy could tell by his body language and his scent that he wasn’t trying to deceive her and let out a relieved sigh. “Because I was never suppose to be a Slayer. The Council decided they knew better than the power and started to pick their own candidates. They sensed something inside me and due to a few human errors; they had no choice but to wait until I was fifteen to make their move. According to a balance demon named Whistler, who works for the Powers that Be, they killed the Slayer before me so they could capture the power of the Slayer and give it to me.”
“Just because some demon told you that the Council would commit such atrocities, it doesn’t make it the truth Buffy.” Giles said stiffly, his entire back going rigid from the malicious allegation.
Buffy looked over at Angel and she didn’t have to say a word, he could read the question in her eyes. “I know Whistler Giles, he’s the reason I came to Sunnydale. He told me that he was a messenger for the PTB and that Buffy would need help…that she had a rough road ahead. He didn’t feel evil and while he was hardly an angel I could tell he was concerned about Buffy.”
“Ditto, he didn’t feel evil and with my senses on high, high and overdrive, I would have felt it if it was there.” Buffy said understanding how hard it must be for Giles to be hearing this. “I’m not saying the entire council is corrupt but the more I think about it, I know Whistler was right. They don’t see Slayers as girls, they see us as a weapons that are theirs to wield. Why else do you think they insist on us not having an outside life? They don’t care if we’re unhappy; all they care about is us being obedient little soldiers. Plus I know from my time with Merrick that they kept an unnaturally close eye on my progress.”
“What do you mean?” Giles asked as the first thread of doubt wormed its way into his gut.
A fond smile crossed her lips and her eyes sparkled with happiness, as she remembered her first Watcher.It had always been to difficult to talk about her life in LA and now that she knew everything, it was easier to share the stories. “He used to always complain about them demanding such detailed reports about my progress. He’d never had a Slayer of his own but he had apprenticed with a Watcher and Slayer shortly after entering the council. He never remembered the other guy having to do so much paper work. Apparently the other Watcher would send in monthly reports, number of slays, demons faced and a brief overview of the girl’s progress in her training but he was being asked for big long reports. Merrick used to joke that they didn’t trust him to deal with me on his own, so well…he started to report everything. If I drank a bottle of water during training he wrote it down, if I sneezed he wrote it down and he even made me write an English to Californian dictionary to include in his reports. He said if he didn’t know what ’wiggins’ meant, that they wouldn’t either and we spent hours making up words and expressions during patrol, just so we’d have even more paper work to bury them in. We both hoped that if we flooded them with meaningless junk, they’d eventually back down and give us some slack but it never happened.”
Sensing her unease Spike stroked his hands down her arms and resumed his purring, hoping to bring her some comfort. He knew what was coming next and how hard it was for her to talk about it.
“When…when Lothos killed him, it was Merrick who told me I was special. He cared about Buffy the person and not just Buffy the vampire Slayer. He wanted me to survive, he didn't want me to die like all the Slayers befor me. I totally froze that night and if he hadn’t stepped in, Lothos would have drained me. If my boyfriend Pike hadn’t been around to pick up the pieces, I would have made a run for it but he convinced me to stay and gave me the strength to fight.” She sniffed softly and tried to blink back the tears gathering in her eyes but a few slipped down her cheek. “I told you guys I have seen everyone suddenly forget a big vampire showdown before and I was talking about the night I burned down the gym. Pike didn’t make i,t a vamp snapped his neck and I decided if the rest of the world could believe that the things that killed him were just a gang, then so could I.”
She took a few seconds to gather her feelings and then gave Giles a look that was frigid enough to freeze the marrow in his bones. “Three people have already died in the Council’s bid for power and I won’t play their games. I trust you Giles, more than that I respect you but you need to decide which side you’re on. I have another destiny, one that’s just as important as the one they shed blood to force on me. You can guide me as you always have or you can pack up your things and go back to them. Merrick was right about me, I am special but the Council is never going to know the full truth about me. So I need you to make your choice, leave now or stay.”
Giles instantly wanted to declare his loyalty to his young charge but understood that if he took this step with her, there would be no going back. He had a good idea about how much power the council wielded and he knew they had ‘dealt with’ rogue and presumably dangerous Slayers in the past but he knew that if he betrayed them, they would come after him as well. “I never wanted this life either Buffy but I believed that guiding the Slayer was a destiny far greater than the ones I imagined for myself. I believe in the Council, their purpose but more than that, I believe in you my dear girl. There is a war going on out there but you’re the one that fights it and if you believe they have become tainted in a quest for power I believe you. I won’t pretend that I am pleased with your actions of late, the secrets and most notably your liaison with a slayer of Slayers but before this moment, I was simply doing a job. Now you have given me a purpose and you Buffy are that purpose.”
Buffy smiled at him, pleased beyond measure that the man she had come to look on as a farther was willing to chose her over everything else. As clearly as she could she told them everything that she had learned, about the Slayer, about her demon and only left out the part about her immortality. First, she wanted to focus on the Slayer aspect of things, and then she’d deal with being immortal and all its repercussions. “I don’t want them coming after us, if they’re willing to kill an innocent girl, they won’t have a problem taking out their failed project or her Watcher. So for now we’ll play along, let them believe they’re the ones in control but if it comes out to a full out war with them, I believe Spike will fight beside us. I’m not going to deny what he is or the fact that he does pose a very serious threat but I trust him and he’s promised that he and any of his childer that remain will no longer kill.”
“Buffy I know you’re confused right now but how can you take Spike’s word?” Angel said gently, despite the fact that everything inside him was howling for him to rip her out of Spike’s arms and challenge the claim.
“The same way I was willing to believe you weren’t the one who attacked my mom.” Buffy told him, knowing that this conversation had to take place, despite the audience. “I was more than a little in love with you Angel but just like you, I can’t take anymore ghosts of the past burdening my soul. If you or Spike and his childer were a threat, I wouldn’t hesitate to do what needed to be done. It’s cold and heartless to even say that I would be willing to kill someone I care about deeply but even if I wasn’t suppose to be a Slayer I am one now.”
“Buffy I wouldn’t expect you do anything less if I were to become the demon I was before this.” Angel said giving her the intimate smile that was a look, he gave to her alone. “But if you loved me…why did you end things and turn to him?”
“Angel when I met you that night it was moonbeams and shooting stars but you always held back. You wouldn’t let me in and you wouldn’t let yourself reach out to me. I didn’t met Spike until after I ended things with you, so this wasn’t a let’s make Angel suffer thing and Spike isn’t just the rebound guy. Since the night I died, things inside me have been changing. The power of the Slayer is based in darkness but over time it’s essence has changed to something good and while not quite pure, it is still a protector. Because of the power that awoke inside me when I died, the essence that was the Slayer was able to take a physical form. So I’ve got my very own demon and its emotions have been slowly melding with my own, making everything I felt stronger. I needed more out of our relationship Angel, I needed someone who could match my passion but I was afraid of asking you for more because I figured you’d just pull away from me entirely.” Taking Spike’s hand in her own, she shifted slightly so she could look into his eyes. “I felt something for Spike right away and while I didn’t understand it at the time, I was responding to the darkness inside him because it enticed my demon. But more than that Spike also met all those needs a girl wants from her boyfriends, completely non-demony things like a shoulder to cry on and tons of displays of affection.”
She placed a soft kiss on his temple before turning back around to look at Angel. The pain she saw lingering in his brown eyes was another slash against her soul but with Spike in her life, it wasn’t a deep gash any longer. “You were really great about being there for the Slayer trauma Angel, you would show up in time for the big fight and you held me when I cried after the Master’s botched resurrection but you weren’t there as a boyfriend or a mate. You were Angel the souled vampire on his quest for redemption, guiding the Slayer when I really needed Angel the boyfriend. Spike was willing to give me that. He spent hours helping me write that stupid paper and the whole time we were studying, he kept running his hands through my hair or brushing his hands over me in these feather soft caresses. My demon calls it bonding but I think of it as his way of showing that he loves me. I’m not telling you this to hurt you Angel, because more than anything I still value your friendship. I'm telling you this because you’ll never find anyone who can love you the way you deserve to be loved. if you constantly hold yourself back.”
Buffy smiled at him a moment, trying to let him know from the look in her eyes that she cared for him deeply but that it wasn’t the kind of feeling he wanted from her. “Whistler sent you here hoping we’d hook up but even he realized that you’re still trying to live in a guilt filled bubble of your own making. I needed someone who could live in this world with me. Spike’s been on patrol with me, he helps me with normal stuff like homework and personal problems and now he’ll help me deal with the new things in my life. Falling for Spike was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, I was confused and pretty certain I was losing my mind but soul or not, come pain or heartache he was worth the risk. Someday you'll meet a girl and you will be just as confused as I was, but you shouldn’t be afraid to risk it. Our emotions, showing them, embracing them are what make us human and in that respect Spike is a man worth loving and so are you if you’d let yourself be.”
“Are you happy Buffy?” Angel asked needed her to say the words but hoping with all his heart she wouldn’t. He could tell that by holding her at arms length, instead of giving her everything he felt for her had been the reason he lost her. But since he didn’t trust Spike, he wasn’t planning on making the same mistake again. Once he revealed what Spike truly was and freed her from his claim by placing his own, he vowed to give her all the passion he had once denied her, thinking it was for her own good. You didn’t live as long as he had without learning to be patient and Buffy was worth the wait.
“Yeah, even as messed up as things are right now it’s amazing to know that no matter what happens, Spike will be there with me.” She said unable to hold back the bright smile that teased her lips. She was definitely happy.
“Then I’m happy for you.” He admitted being completely honest. If she was happy for whatever cause he was happy as well but that didn’t mean he was happy with the situation. “I value our friendship and nothing you’ve said has changed that.”
Taking a deep breath, she decided that now was the perfect time to drop her last bombshell. The others had been quiet since she started telling her story but she was certain her next words would cause a very big reaction. “That’s good because I’m immortal now and it’s nice to know that a couple hundred years from now, there will still be a familiar face around.”