Feeling a little self-conscious Buffy made her way over to where her friends were sitting in the common room. Thanks to Spike and his…creative teaching methods, she was very much in touch with her beast. That harmony showed itself in her movements. Each step she took reflected a catlike sort of grace and sensuality that had several pairs of eyes watching her progress.
Well that or the fact her black leather pants looked damn good, if she said so herself she thought giving her friends a small smile. “Hey…are we cool?”
“Depends,” Willow said with a small smile of her own. “Are you going to start sharing all the yummy details you’ve been holding back? I mean the whole point of being someone’s best friend is so you can get the vicarious thrills.”
“Spike’s not just a thrill Will; he’s the whole amusement park.” Buffy said with a very smug smile.
Willow knew her face had to be as red as her hair but that didn’t mean she wasn’t dying for her best friend to explain that comment. “Okay so after school we’ll do the talking thing but how are you doing?”
“Yeah Buff are you gonna be throwing me down and marking me anytime soon?” Xander asked, giving her an easy grin so she’d know he was teasing.
“No need, you still smell like me.” Buffy said with a shrug before looking at Willow. “But you and I need to hug or something because my kitty doesn’t like the thought of you running around unmarked.”
Since that was soo better than the alternative, Willow threw herself at Buffy and pulled her into a tight hug. She held on longer than what a normal hug would last but when she felt Buffy purring she knew she was doing the right thing. When she did finally pull away, she was aware of the people looking at them strangely but she didn’t care. “That’s actually kind of nice, the purring thing I mean. It’s really kinda soothing but it’s also good to know ya care. But I uh…well I don’t get the whole marking thing?” Willow admitted.
“Spike says its so other predators know you belong to a pack. The way I understand it, my scent on you tells others that if they mess with you they mess with me”
“Yeah I knew that from what I looked up last night. But why does it make you happy. I mean you’re demon kinda adopted me and Xander but why bother?” Willow asked, hoping she wasn’t making her upset.
“Family, you guys are my family.” Buffy said firmly, not as a command but a statement. “My demon doesn’t want to be alone anymore than I did and knowing that it has a family makes it happy. Remember the power of the Slayer has been around as long as there have been demons so it’s been through a lot of lonely lifetimes. I know it’s a little bossy and more than a little demanding but that’s because it’s an animal. I don’t mind protecting you guys because you’re my friends and that’s enough for me. But my cat sees the big picture, the entire pack. It demands your loyalty and obedience so that the others will also be safe but also because you have to pay for its protection. I mean if we were all vampires you’d bring me fresh food or ahh…well you’d uhh…well I’d have sex with you. It’s a form a bonding but it’s also a way of showing you accept someone’s dominance of you. My demon, all demons really, are really big on the dominance and submission thing. Meaning it gets a big happy to know it‘s the boss.”
“But it won’t, well or won’t rape us or anything will it?” Willow asked quietly. As Buffy talked her mind had flashed over all the facts and videos she’d found about animal hierarchies last night. Sometimes weaker animals were given a choice to join a group and other times they were just claimed by the strong against their will.
“Nope because my demon isn’t in charge I am.” Buffy said hoping to put them both at ease since Xander also looked a little worried. “That’s what last night was, me and my cat fighting. It was trying to surrender, bond to me and since I didn’t know better, I thought it was taking me over. I know I was a little crazy last night but it was all new, all so sudden. I’m the alpha though and last night Spike showed me how to dominate my demon completely but also another demon.”
“How’d he do that?” Xander asked without thinking. When a very contented smile slid across her lips, he couldn’t help himself from laughing. “Right, dumb question and I soo don’t want the details.”
“Gotcha but even though my demon will make itself known when I’m really emotional, it won’t take me over again. Because now I understand it and why it does the things it does and it understands its place and me. So you guys never have to worry about me hurting you but if I get up and walk away suddenly, you probably just better let me go.” Buffy admitted knowing that her new animal side also strengthened her human emotions. It made everything she felt stronger so if she was pissed, she was really, really pissed.
“My cat accepts my dominance over it but it won’t accept you trying to challenge it. It’ll get pissed and since it’ll kinda piss me off too, that’s a whole lot of emotion to deal with. It’s kinda different for everyone. I mean I know you guys are human; fragile so what I feel towards you guys is different from what I feel for Angel or Giles. You guys are cubs, you don’t really know better but their higher up the ladder. Angel and Spike’s childer are also demons, so I’ll want to deal with them as such while my human side handles you guys. Does that make any sense?” Buffy asked, trying to see if they were still following her.
“Actually it kinda does.” Willow admitted feeling much better about this whole thing. “You’ve always been Buffy and The Slayer, only now your Slayer side is a little more upfront. But you’re still just Buffy, even though you’re immortal Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”
“Man Buff, it’s getting kinda crowded in there.” Xander joked, thinking about all the different paths fate had handed her.
“It really is,” Buffy admitted with a sigh. “It was hard enough being normal Buffy and Slayer Buffy but I was finally getting used to it. Now this whole immortal thing comes in and it goes against everything I already believed. I mean Slayer me knows we can’t let some bad guy become all uber-powerful. But since said bad guy is a human, or close to one, the idea of killing them just seems wrong. And it is, immortal or not these guys are just like you guys. Only they’re a little stronger and much harder to kill. So while my Slayerness is trying to deal with my Immortalness, there’s still seventeen year old me trying to deal with it all. Not to mention dealing with my normal, not so normal life as well. The one where my new boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend so want to kill each other. My new family and old family will want to kill each other. Then there’s the part where I have to explain to my mom that she adopted a world-class freak and that I’m moving out because it hurts to be away from my mate, who just happens to be a vampire. I’m stuck in the middle in every possible way and I’m terrified that I’m going to lose everything. My human life, my immortal/demon life…I mean I’m only one person who has to live in two very different worlds.”
“You’re not alone Buffy,” Xander said pulling her close. Her eyes had become a rich amber as she talked but he didn’t even hesitate. For him it was all pretty simple, Buffy was his friend and she was hurting, so he’d be there for her. But after hearing her talk he knew nothing would ever be that simple for her and probably that it never had been to begin with. Last night he was all ready to tell her that she didn’t need her demon friends and that she didn’t have to play that stupid game. But hearing her now, he finally realized she didn’t have any choice in the matter. She never asked to be a Slayer, anymore than she asked to be an immortal but like it or not that was what she was.
He planned on having a nice long life but one day he’d die, Willow would die but because of Spike and Angel, she wouldn’t be alone. She’d still have people watching out for her, supporting her the way her normal human friends did. And considering all the burdens fate had heaped on her, she needed that, needed people there to help lightening the load. Even if all they could do was smile and joke with her, she still needed something to balance out all the badness that would always happen. He could do that, more importantly he wanted to give her what he could. “I don’t care if I’m your friend or your cub. The label doesn’t really matter to me it’s just enough to know I’m part of your life and that you want me to be there. You’re pretty amazing Buffy Summers and not because you save the world and stuff. You’re just amazing because you’re you. So no matter what comes, I’m gonna be right here to help see you through it.”
“Me too.” Willow said quickly joining in the group hug. She’d wanted to cry while her best friend poured out her heart and like Xander she wanted to help her anyway she could.