“Buffy I think we should talk…” Buffy blinked for a moment and not just because he was still at her house but also because that sentence has definitely been seeing to much play time.
“Not you too.” She cried out dramatically as she placed the back of her hand against her forehead. All day she had prepared herself to come home to an empty house and she had even managed to convince herself that it was what she wanted. A light snack, some study time and possibly even a little TV after patrol. She didn’t need excitement, she was the Slayer her life was exciting enough as it was. So it would be exhausting to have anything more than a boring home life. She really was delusional, because she had been home less than two minutes and it was already way better than what she had talked herself into. “You were my last hope and now you’ve gone and joined the intervention tribe!”
“You’re awfully chipper, figured you stake me as soon as you walked in the door.” He said struggling to match her light tone. He had seen the resignation on her face when she walked through the doors. It was like she was on her way to the gallows and he assumed he was the reason for it but if her bright smile and playful manner were anything to go on, it was safe to say she liked finding him here.
Buffy sobered somewhat and couldn’t stop the sadness she felt from showing on her face. “Right because I’m the Slayer…sacred destiny and all.”
Bloody hell, the girl was a merry-go-round of emotion he thought stepping closer to her. “If it helps, I’m glad you didn’t. I’m a bit partial to walking around and such…especially when I can see you smiling at me like you were a few minutes ago.”
Buffy looked into his eyes a moment and what she saw there assured her he was being sincere. He had the same shadow of confliction in his eyes, that she had seen in her own this morning. She was glad to know that she wasn’t the only one confused as hell about this…whatever it was but she was also a little scared to see such genuine emotion hidden in the depths of his eyes. If it had just been her, she could go on pretending nothing had changed but if he was also as lost as she was it would be real. Possibly even painful when it was all said and done with. Hesitantly, afraid that she had fallen asleep in class and had imaged this day, she reached up to place her hand against his face.
Feeling the chill of his skin leech into her hand, stealing her warmth she had to choke back a sob. That’s all they’d have, a few stolen moments of life meeting death. “I like what I see when you look at me.”
“What’s that luv?” He asked stepping forward to close the distance between them. He watched the emotions chase across her eyes and while he could see the fear lingering there it was no match for the yearning that was slowly chasing it away.
“I see you.”
Her words and the smile gracing her lips slammed into him harder than her tiny fists ever had. For more than a century he had buried William away but somehow when this girl was around, she always seemed to find him in the darkest of shadows. All of the careful plans he had made this morning slipped from his mind like grains of sand, so now instead of seducing her, he was the one being seduced.
The need to possess her was still there but he had no desire to bruise the delicate petals of the rare flower before him. Some flowers you plucked, killing them so that you could possess their beauty for a short while but eventually the fragrance would fade and the petals would wither. Stealing her away into death for his own enjoyment would do the same thing to her…in time she’d wilt. The golden sheen of her skin would lose it’s luster and while she’d live on, she crumble long before her body became ash.
She was not meant for death but for life. It filled every fiber of her being and it was the fire inside her eyes. Then demon would poison that, like some virulent disease eating her away from the inside so that nothing but the flawless shell of her beauty would remain. He'd have nothing but a pale imitation of the one his body and wasted heart had come to crave and the original he so coveted would always be forever beyond his grasp.
Howling internally from the crux of fate he had somehow find himself in, he wished he could have met her in another life because in this one what he wanted was impossible. If he had not died in that alley, he wouldn’t be standing before her now but it was that same choice that stood between them now. Vampire, immortal, demon to woman, mortal and Slayer; no matter how you said it or what label you used it all meant the same thing.
Doomed.
But he’d been damned long before this moment and until the fires of hell itself came to claim him he wouldn’t deny himself the only kind of heaven he could possibly know. “What do you see when you look at me Buffy because I am not a good man? Point in fact, I’m not a man at all. I am a demon and while Angel may try to deny what he is, I never will.”
“I know what you are Spike and I know what I am and what I’m suppose to do. But when I look at you now, nothing else seems to matter.” Buffy admitted closing the last bit of distance between them. “It’s killing me to feel this way but I feel like I’m finally waking up from a long dream. Like this life, this reality wasn’t real or maybe it was just me who wasn’t, until I woke up this morning laying next to you. Then everything just clicked into place and the shadows were gone and I could see the light again. There‘s so much darkness in my life, so much pain and I know it will only get worse before it finally ends…which is why I can‘t stop myself from seizing this moment while I can. So you have to do it Spike, you have to shove me away, disgusted by what I am because I can‘t…I can‘t run away from you again.”
“Is that what you want from me Buffy…to walk away?” Spike asked lowering his face down to hers and stopping just before their lips could meet. “Because I’m a bad rude man and if I get a taste of you pet, I won’t let you go. So if we do this, there‘s no going back to the way things were before. We‘ll fight, we‘ll shag and sometimes we‘ll hate each other until it makes us quiver but we‘re going to be in this till it kills us both. Because once were in each other‘s blood, it‘ll scream inside us until we work it‘s will. So if you can‘t handle that, you‘d best go back to your noble souled pet vampire and his cold embraces. I won’t have you tell your little mates I took you against your will, so you’ve gotta make the choice and accept the consequences. You wanted fire luv, you wanted heat and I’m offerin’ you flames that will never burn out.”
His words shivered across her skin like a silken caress and may the Powers help her but she couldn’t resist him. All Eve had to do was resist a stupid apple but her forbidden delight was a blue eyed devil with a voice sultrier than the hottest summer night. Closing her eyes, she prayed to whatever power that was suppose to be guiding her to be merciful before tilting up his lips and committing herself to the wicked dance of her desires.
At the first taste of her, he let out a savage growl as he pulled her closer against him. He told himself he would be gentle, ease her in to things but the lust and need that had turned her pale eyes the color of the finest emeralds; gentle was just another impossibility they have to figure out a way to master with their wills alone.
She kissed as though she was trying to devour him, drink down his essence as surely as he drank down his victims blood and with her blunt teeth capturing his bottom lip, he was more than willing.
Which was when she suddenly pulled away.
“Spike…we need to talk.” She said more than a little breathlessly. But while her words said one thing her hands had taken it upon themselves to slide beneath the soft cotton shirt he wore. Hello salty goodness, Buffy thought stroking her hand across his defined and brutally cut abdomen. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth she reined in her hormones and looked up at him. “I can’t be the only one to surrender here…”
He captured her lips in another torrid kiss.
She pressed herself against him, molding her warm curves against his cold form and when she let out a trembling moan he was the one to pull away. “You were saying pet?”
Shaking her head to clear the haze away from her thoughts, she tried to remember what was more important than kissing him. When that approach didn’t work, she took a deep breath and concentrated on the hum his presence played on her other senses. She wanted this, man she wanted this but she had always been good at self-preservation. “I can accept what you are Spike but can you say the same thing? You can’t stop being a vampire but you don’t have to be a monster. So if I‘m prepared to lose everyone that matters to me just to be with you, are you prepared to make a few sacrifices of your own? I wasn‘t going to start this because I didn‘t want to be the one who caged you but I want all or nothing. If the kill means more, than this can end only one way…no more pretending. I want you but I'm not willing to pay for it by letting you spill innocent blood.”
Damn, he was hoping he’d have a little more time before she started in on this. He knew it was inevitable, it was something he had even prepared himself for but he had planned on atleast one more kill before the Slayer part of her being pushed down her human emotions. “I won’t go on animal blood but as long as you’re conscious can handle me drinking human from a bag instead of the source I won’t drink from anyone but you. Like you said pet, all or nothing. I don‘t just want you‘re luscious little body, but your blood as well.”
“You want a cow and a whore.” Buffy said coldly.
He chuckled slightly, wrapping his arms even more tightly around her tiny little waist. “No luv, I can get blood and sex anywhere but I want you. I know you’ll never allow me to turn you and to be honest I don’t want just a demon wearin’ your skin but I still want you as my mate. That means until you die, no one touches you but me. I‘ll protect you with my life, cherish your body with my own and I‘ll even help you in your fight against my kind but you‘ll belong to me and me alone.”
“Normally that kind of talk involves a shiny ring.” Buffy teased, hoping to lighten the suddenly seriousness in his voice. She had barely had enough time to accept she felt something for him and now he was talking about something that seemed an awful lot like marriage. Only instead of divorce the only way to escape would be into death. “For an immortal guy, you sure as hell don’t take things slow.”
“I’m not an idiot luv, once your pals and the magnificent pouf find out about us and they will, they’ll do everything they can to convince you this is wrong…dirty. They tell you that I can’t be trusted and even that I’m just using you and if that doesn’t work they'll move on to making you feel guilty and ashamed. Can’t kill me of course, cause they won’t want to make you hate them.”
“So what you’re really saying is that you don‘t think I‘m strong enough to fight for what I want.” Buffy asked unable to keep the hurt out of her voice. “That all my life is, one fight after another and I haven’t backed down yet and I won‘t start now. ”
“I know how strong you are pet, your bloody reputation speaks for itself.” Spike said reaching up to cradle her face in his hands. “But once we’ve claimed each other, it’ll create a bond between us that can’t be broken. Word is your Watcher ain’t one to send you off into danger while sitting in his cozy office with a cuppa. He’ll know what the claim means and square things with your mates or I hope that‘s how it happens. He may not like it to begin with but once he realizes I‘ll be protecting his Slayer, instead of trying to kill her I think he‘ll come around.”
“You sound like you put a lot of thought into this.” Buffy said more than a little amazed at how he wouldn’t let a little thing like destiny stand in his way.
“Told you I wanted to talk.” He said leading her over to the couch and settling her down on his lap. “I woke up reaching for you and that wasn’t something I wanted to go through again. But the pouf will want to take you back for himself, claim or not.”
“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” She said softly, the bitterness in his words was impossible to miss or to fake. Is was only a tone of someone who had a wound that had festered for centuries could possess.
“Because of the soul, he’s already a rogue amongst our kind. Just like I will be once word gets around that I joined up with the Slayer but that’s not why he’ll try to take you from me. Soul or not I’m certain that some part of the sadistic bastard is still inside him and I won’t play that game with him again. He didn’t just take my sister and break her mind, he also took another bint I thought wanted me alone; just to prove he could. Cecily was the only childe I ever made and I was preparing her to be my mate and consort but that bastard Angelus promised her the moon and stars and she went to him like a bitch in heat. He didn‘t claim her, he just used her and then just like the other women he took to his bed, he tossed her aside. She just disappeared…never did hear what happened to the chit.”
From the way he was talking it was clear to see that he was offering her so much and it wasn’t wrong for him to protect himself as well. She never stopped to think of how the demon community might take him being involved with her and unlike her human friends, who weren’t really a threat to him, some big bad vampire marching in the vamp pride parade will put Spike at the top of his hit list. Despite all the differences between them it was surprising to see they had some common ground as well.
She never expected him to want to fight beside her, once he said he wouldn’t kill she wouldn’t have dreamed to ask for more, but it would be nice to not be the only one out there night after night.
Despite the fact she was surrounded by people who cared about her, she led a lonely existence. It was true that they all pitched in when things were really bad but more than once she had limped home broken and bleeding when a routine patrol ended up putting the odds against her. As good as she was, the vampires and demons she faced were an equal match to her own strength and reflexes; which is why training was so important. But all the skill in the world couldn’t save her if she was alone and vastly outnumbered. Unlike the cheesy show she and Spike had watched last night, the bad guys don’t patiently sit on the sidelines awaiting their turns. Their sole purpose is to take her life and most of them don’t have a problem asking their buddies to help. But because her friends weren’t trained and very ill equipped she usually talked them out of patrolling with her. Partly to keep them safe but also because she couldn’t afford to be distracted when she was busy fighting for her own life.
Angel on the other hand could hold his own but he had a habit of only showing up for the big things they were prepared to face. He never left her side when the Anointed one sent those bounty hunters after her but once the threat had passed he didn’t regularly join her for patrols. She assumed it was because he wanted her to be self-reliant but damn, it got tiring being the strong one all the time. Slayer’s don’t get vacation time and she was always on the clock so it would be nice to have someone around to help her carry what was an enormous burden…plus with Spike around there was the potential for more than a few blood boiling kisses.
Her date with Owen and even the party she had attended with Cordy had proved to her dating and Slaying were not mixy things. Demons were really rude about popping in and shattering the illusion of normalcy she was growing tired of clinging to like her sole lifeline. So atleast that was one area of their relationship that wouldn't be a problem.
But she did have one last normal thing in her life and she didn’t know how having a possessive vampire mate would go over. “I don’t suppose you have some brilliant plan to convince my mom that her seventeen year old daughter is more or less married but that her mate happens to be a vampire?”
“Your mum doesn’t know?’ Spike asked unable to keep the shock off his face. Having the Slayer for a daughter just didn’t seem like the kind of thing a person could miss even if she had a habit of being out of town.
“I kinda surprised the Council when I was called, so they didn’t get to take me away and brainwash me like they normally do. My first Watcher Merrick understood that I was different so he was willing to compromise and so is Giles. Mom picked up a nasty case of Sunnydale denialitis. So unless a demon pops out and attacks, she doesn’t seem to notice things aren’t normal around here and since I do my own laundry, she never gets to see all the blood on my clothes.” Buffy admitted laying back against him, to rest her head against his shoulder.
“We’re gonna have to tell her pet but I think she’d be relieved to know that her daughter the protector also has someone watching her back.” Spike said gently. “I understand why you want to go on the way you are. I don’t reckon many people treat you like a normal person but if some nasty gets it in his head to hurt her to get to you, it’s safer for her to know.”
He saw Buffy wince slightly and it suddenly occurred to him that it had already happened. Feeling like a complete ass, he tilted up her face and pressed a soft kiss against her forehead. “I’ve got you now pet, I won’t let anyone hurt you or your mum. I promise you that luv.”
Letting out a gentle sigh she gave him a wan smile, somehow knowing that if Spike made a promise he’d keep it. “I just hate it that you're right. If I had told her the truth, Darla couldn't have pulled her little set up and if mom had died it would have been my fault. I always thought the less she knew the better but she can’t protect herself if she doesn’t know what’s out there. Besides, it’d be nice to be able to be honest with her. I know she’s always been disappointed about how I stopped sharing things with her since I was called, so who knows maybe telling her would also be just strengthen our relationship even more. She‘s all I really have left, both her and dad were only children and both their parents are dead.”
Spike stroked his hand down her back trying to give her some measure of comfort and found it hard to believe that only last night he had been disgusted with Angel for dallying with the Slayer. Somehow his entire universe had shifted in a blink of an eye and she was the center of it. Nothing seemed more important that seeing her smile or holding her in his arms and if he was going to be love’s bitch, he’d atleast be man enough to admit it. He didn’t think things would ever be smooth and easy for them but somehow he just knew she was worth it. “You’ve got me now luv and I’m not saying I’ll never piss you off or go off on snit but when I promised you forever I meant it.”