Chapter two
There was a time when Buffy avoided the sewer system in Sunnydale like the plague. After all it was a sewer so that kind of reaction would be of the normal. But there was the fact that the elaborate tunnels that crisscrossed the town was more of an underground railroad for many of the nasties that couldn't stand the harsh light of day. More then one vamp had known of its existence and she had avoided using it before.
However on the rare occasion that she had used the tunnels for some reason or another she was reminded why she never went down there.
Because aside from the fact that the confined space was hard to fight in on the off chance she did meet something nasty in there it was one simple thing.
It stank like hell.
Now as a human it had been difficult to be down there and continue to function without her latest meal making a sudden and unwanted reappearance.
But now she didn't need to breathe.
So here she trudged along not breathing feeling a little excited at the thought of where her little trip was taking her. The only downside to this little trek was the knowledge that the boots she was wearing were probably ruined now.
A small price to pay.
The single purpose that she had set out to do was keeping her from thinking about the events of the past day.
And the distraction was of the good.
Because if she dwelt on her feelings she might lose it completely.
She made her way carefully counting steps to keep track of where she was. Years of patrolling the entire town with her only transportation being her own two feet left her with a perfect internal map of the town. It made finding her way all across town to the very outskirts of the city remarkably easy.
Her pace slowed as she reached the last part of the tunnel in front of her destination. The morning sun was bright overhead and she could make out the outline of the building through the thick cover of trees that were about fifty feet in front of the culvert. There was enough shade that she wouldn't have to worry about dusting before she reached her goal.
And so for a moment she just stood and watched the silent building holding the blanket she had found in the crypt tightly in one hand.
A short dash and she would be able to finally accomplish the one thing she had been trying to get the others to help her with.
It was time to go.
Throwing the blanket over her head she ran quickly to the safety the trees canopy provided.
Which let her stroll right up to the front door.
Her hand grasped the doorknob and turned it. Watching as the door swung inwards easily not making any noise. Glancing around to check for anyone in her way she stepped over the threshold.
**********
As dusk began to settle into night Buffy continued to stare at the manhole cover above her. She watched as the colors of light played through the small holes and splashed into the sewer. The day had passed quickly and now as she waited for the last dwindling minutes of the day to fade away into the protective cover of night she let out a little sigh.
There were things that she needed and only one way for her to get them. It would be easy enough for her to find a pay phone and call asking someone to put a bag together for her while she took her time to get there and pick it up. No confrontations and no questions asked. Best of all no one would know exactly what had happened to her.
That plan was the one she liked the best.
The second of course was just to go and knock on the door and pray that someone she wanted to talk to answered. Not that there were that many of those now encased in that house.
Of course that was what was probably going to happen.
The fact that she didn't have a cent on her was a good enough reason not to be able to use a pay phone and now without the use of the Magic Box and the fact that the school was closed she didn't have access to a phone. But it was a moot point anyway with the power out all over town the cordless phone wouldn't work.
It still bothered her though.
The thought of walking up to the house that had been her home for seven years and knowing that she was not only unwelcome but also would need an invite to get in was disheartens to say the least.
But that thought would lead to dwelling and she was removing that hobby out of her life. It was better to just live in the moment then to think about all the stuff that had happened. Easier to let the denial swallow her completely.
There were certain things she couldn't ignore though and the fact that she needed desperately to change into another set of clothes as well as make sure she had something to eat later was enough to drive her to lift the cover off and step up into the night.
She stared at the house for a minute before she walked up the front porch and stood in front of the door. Debating whether or not to knock she waited and decided that it was better to be cautious. She placed an ear to the door listening carefully letting her new enhanced hearing take in what was going on inside the house. It was quiet no noise of movement in the living room.
Taking a chance she moved to the window and peeked through a slit in the curtains.
There were a bunch of potentials sleeping in the living room.
Well knocking here would only draw a bunch of girls’ attention to her and that was the last thing she wanted. Better to see if anyone was in the kitchen.
Quietly she walked around the house thankful that with the power out it would be hard for anyone to notice her approach.
Stepping up onto the porch she peeked through the door and was relieved when she didn't see anyone standing in the kitchen.
Using just one fingernail she lightly tapped on the glass hoping that maybe no one would answer the door just so she could be avoid-y girl.
She tapped again this time not really expecting an answer.
Which is why she was so surprised when the door opened.
"Buffy?"
She stared into the blue eyes of her sister blinking hard to try and wipe the pain she was feeling from showing.
"Hey." It was all she could manage to get out at the moment.
"Are you okay?"
She looked down and took in what she could see of her clothes. Not only was she rumpled but covered in dirt and the few stray drops of blood were splattered on her white top. She probably looked awful.
"I'm fine."
"Oh." Apparently her sister felt as awkward as she did.
"Look Dawn-"
"Buffy why are you just standing out here? Why don't you-"
"NO!" She hadn't meant to yell but there was no way that she was going to let her sister invite her into the house.
"No I mean I don't think it’s a good idea for me to come inside." She gave her a soft smile. One she wasn't exactly feeling at the moment. "I uh don't want to cause any weirdness you know?"
Dawn gave her a sad look.
"Okay."
"I just need a favor. Could you grab my purse and make me an overnight bag? I really need to get out of these clothes."
"Are you sure? I mean you could always-"
"I'm sure."
She watched as her sister just nodded and walked away from the door.
It was weird. Even though there was an invisible barrier separating the two of them she hadn't felt the urge to feed off of her. Sure she knew it would be pointless to try without the invite but the urge itself had been missing. It had kind of shocked her that she had refused the two obvious times her sister was going to ask her inside. But she hadn't wanted to.
The reaction she felt most when talking to Dawn was the same that she had had during life. It was her sister and she was family. For some reason she understood that all of her felt that way. Including the demon, which even though she had fed earlier should have been looking for another meal.
All of this was wigging her out big time.
She heard Dawn's footsteps return to the kitchen and shook herself out of her thoughts.
She took the bag that Dawn held outside of the door and slung it over her shoulder.
"Thanks."
"Buffy I just-"
"It's okay Dawn. No hard feelings alright?"
She looked like she was going to cry and Buffy had to fight the urge to turn on her heel and run. It was hard enough dealing with her own emotional upheaval right now. Seeing her sister in the same way was too hard.
The teen just nodded at her.
"Where are you going to go?"
That had been a question she had been asking herself all day.
"I'll figure something out."
They stared at each other for a few seconds neither knowing what to say to the other.
"Well I better go."
"Go where?" Her eyes were drawn away from her sisters to stare into an even deeper blue pair.
She felt the breath in her throat hitch and wondered when she had started breathing again. Maybe it was when she had started to talk to her sister.
He was looking at her so intently and her nerve endings were doing a little tap dance in response. She was pleased when she got that familiar tingle that told her that a vampire was near one that she knew well. It was always the same when he was near her a little extra tingle that told her that it was Spike.
On his part he was taking all of her in seeing her rumpled and dirty appearance the way her hair was now mussed out of the ponytail she was wearing. There was a streak of dirt down her right cheek and he thought that her lip looked a little swollen.
He had woken just a few moments before making his way up to the kitchen berating himself for falling asleep so late in the day. It was unavoidable considering the lack of sleep he had accumulated over the last few days but it hadn't hit him until late in the afternoon. So he had woken up with a start surprised at the late hour. He had wanted to leave just as soon as it was dusk and now night had completely fallen.
Spike was anxious to get out and start looking for Buffy convinced that her absence all day also only meant that something was incredibly wrong. It wasn't like her to stay away like this.
So imagine his own shock when he walked to the back door only to see Dawn talking to Buffy.
She looked fine to him but something was off and he couldn't put his finger on it.
"Go where pet?" He asked her again hoping to get an answer this time.
When he asked again it seemed to break her out of the trance she had been feeling.
"You're leaving?" The bag over his shoulder confused her quite a bit.
This time he looked put on the spot a bit.
"Was. Thought I'd head out and look for you."
She couldn't help the teasing smile she gave him.
"Looks like you found me." She didn't have time to see him relax when she heard the other voices coming into the kitchen.
"I gotta go." She turned and headed down the walk towards the gate of the yard.
She didn't have to turn to know that the footsteps behind her belonged to a certain blond.
"Buffy wait." His hand landed on her shoulder and turned her around.
There was something wrong. The feeling poured through him until it seeped into every pore and penetrated every cell. Little things he noticed at first the subtle paleness of her skin, the lack of warmth where his hand met her shoulder, the way her breathing was unsteady not picking any particular rhythm these little things he noticed right away. Only then did he listen intently and discovered what was missing. Something was so beyond wrong that he couldn't comprehend it.
He couldn't hear her heart. The steady thrum that had brought him a measure of comfort after she had come back from the dead. A sound he'd come to depend on unlike any other. A sound that was now missing.
Now what his senses had been screaming at him made sense. How he didn't just sense the slayer. Why he sensed a vampire.
Buffy watched the wheels actively turn in his mind and knew the second the facts clicked in place for him. The look of shock and denial were to be expected. It was when a look of pain crossed his face did she feel the hurt she had been trying to bury.
A few more steps and they would be out of her backyard and on the street.
"Spike not here okay?" Her eyes pleaded with him. She needed to get away from the house away from the people inside it. If he wanted to talk to her she needed to do it away from prying and judging eyes.
He wanted to speak but the words wouldn't form on his tongue. There was a tightness in his chest like his heart was being squeezed. It was something that he had never thought possible to happen to her. Something he wouldn't ever dream of being a possibility.
In his shock he was unresponsive to her and she felt the staring eyes that looked on from the house. She knew that she couldn't deal with them with all of this. Taking advantage of his reaction she turned and ran.
She didn't care where she ended up the only goal was to put as much distance between herself and the house as possible. Her feet pounded against the asphalt as the bag she was carrying continued to slam against her back. It was faster then she had ever run before the speed driven by her desperation to just move to get away to keep herself entrenched in the denial that had surrounded her for the last day. The only place where she could be safe.
The sound of her thudding footsteps drowned out anything else as her feet ate up the road before her. She pushed her legs not letting up until she could feel the burn in muscles that were becoming over worked. Her run slowed to a jog and then to a brisk walk as she finally looked around.
She was on Crawford Street, which seemed kind of strange to her considering she had avoided this section of town for years.
The touch of a hand grabbing her elbow caused her to jump. So intent had she been on her flight that she hadn't heard anyone approach her. The pressure on her elbow caused her to turn around and she felt her eyes clash with eyes that glinted with anger. Reflexively she took a defensive step back.
"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" He was panting as though he had been running just as she had.
Spike was nearly blinded by his rage he wanted answers to questions he was too afraid to ask. He was struggling with just the unfairness of the life that had been granted to him and the shell of the woman before him.
"You want the long list or the short one?" She snapped back defensively. His anger was something she had witnessed before and even had directed at her but it had been awhile. It was something she was unaccustomed to.
"Buffy-" The way he bit out her name was a warning. She didn't want to push him but was helpless to do otherwise.
"What? Do you want me to say it? Fine." She adopted her most saccharine voice. "Hi Spike I'm a vampire. Yep. Woke up this morning a bloodsucking fiend." She yanked her arm out of his grasp. "Happy? Now just go."
He took a step closer to her.
"Who did this to you?" He ground the words out between his teeth. When he found the git he was going to take pleasure in beating it within an inch of its unlife.
"I don't know just some vamp I've never seen before. Now can I go? I've had a really crappy day." She was losing her own anger she could feel it draining out of her as the words came out of her mouth. It was hard to hold onto it with as tired as she was.
She turned to walk away from him when he grabbed her shoulders.
"I can't let you do that pet." The words were quiet and regretful. Unfortunately she understood all too well.
Flash to a few years ago and her reaction to seeing someone she knew turned into a vamp would be the same. They would have to be staked. After all wasn't that what she had done with Ford and Holden?
She let out a sigh and dropped her head. Who was she kidding it wasn't like this was the first choice she wanted as her existence. Especially one that would be almost eternal if she was careful.
Pivoting around she faced him again.
"No I don't suppose so." She eyed him watching as his grip tightened on the stake in his hand. Looking back into his eyes she could see such a play of emotions in them. So much pain and again she was the cause of it. She let out another sigh.
"Just make it quick." She dropped the bag from her shoulder onto the ground. If she was dust they could use the money in hr purse. Not like they were rolling in the stuff.
He blinked at her and she watched the confusion cross his features.
"You're not going to fight me?" He sounded as bewildered as she had felt all day.
She snorted. "What would be the point? Just get it over with."
"This- this isn't like you Buffy." Nothing was making sense to him and all he could do was fight the pain he was feeling crawl inside of him.
"Right and that surprises you how? I rose as a vampire today Spike. I think normal Buffy behavior has taken a permanent vacation." She softened the look in her eyes. He was hurting she knew even if he hadn't said it since he'd gotten his soul that he still loved her. And god forbid she cause him any more pain because quite frankly she'd done enough of that last year thank you very much.
"I know you're confused trust me I so get it. But you and I both know that I ceased being the Buffy you remember the second I woke up. So if you want, if you think it’s for the best then stake me."
"Why are you just giving up?" He didn't understand how she could, her demon should be screaming inside of her yelling about its own self-preservation and yet she stood calmly before him. It didn't make any sense.
"Spike I may not be the same person I was yesterday but all those memories and emotions are there. I know who I was and I really can't live with what I can become." She went and sat on the curb tired and emotionally drained. Too much had happened and her brain was on overload. It was just too much. "The only thing I had planned was to find my miserable excuse for a Sire, torture him and then drive a stake through his heart. After that I was just thinking of watching the sun rise."
Her eyes turned back to him watching the emotions on his face.
Spike struggled internally with what his ears were trying to tell his brain. She wanted this. She was ready to let herself dust because of what she had become without even fighting. And she wanted him to do it. She hadn't said as much but he was adept enough at reading in between the lines. Buffy wanted him to kill her.
He hadn't risen yesterday and he understood exactly what happened when the demon entered the body. The soul was gone but the thoughts and memories were still there. Most times the demon took advantage of that and used it to make easier kills. Friends and family were always amongst the first targets of the fledge. So in a way they still were the person from before minus the soul. But in most ways they weren't.
He'd been watching her closely as they were talking and he couldn't get over just how much she hadn't changed. He was unwilling or unable to reconcile himself with the fact that this woman who looked so much like the woman he loved was now not her. He couldn't accept that. Not when her convictions were so strong. Not when she was just willing to die because of what she had become.
"You know I can't."
His whispered words tore at her heart. Even if he didn't understand it she had cared about him probably for longer then she would like to admit. But this last year they had been closer then ever and he had become someone she could lean on. He had been the only one to think of her in all of this mess. Not as the Slayer but as Buffy.
"I was afraid of that." Another sigh escaped her. "I understand how you feel. But you know you should. I'm a vampire Spike. One without a chip and without a soul. Soon I'll become a cold-blooded killer. I know it and so do you."
"If that's true why didn't you grab Dawn?"
"I don't know." She shrugged her shoulders her eyes now drifting to her hands clasped in front of her. "It was like all of me recognized her as family and I just didn't have the urge to kill. Not to say that I wouldn't have tried to take out any one else in the house. Not after what happened last night. My demon's a little pissed off."
He kneeled in front of her.
"Is that why you ran off pet?"
"No. I just didn't want Dawn's last memory of me to be getting staked in our backyard." Her eyes returned to his.
As their eyes locked he had to hold back a breath. Deep green pools pulled him in as they always did and he could feel himself sinking. He watched the starkness in her eyes as she dealt with her turbulent emotions. He could only guess at what she was feeling.
"Did you feed yet?" He was afraid to hear the answer knowing that the actual thought of taking a human life would be the beginning of the end for her.
He was surprised when a malicious smile crossed her lips.
"Oh well you could say I did."
Suddenly he found himself looking for the stake he had dropped. The tone she used made a shiver crawl up his spine and even though his soul was firmly in charge his demon practically screamed in delight at the obvious tint of evil in the creature before him. He fought the feeling back reminding the stubborn part of his brain that he wasn't sitting in front of Buffy but a demon. Not that it was listening to him in the least.
Swallowing past the lump in his throat he took a deep breath.
"What do you mean luv?"
And suddenly the pure evil glint in her eye was gone replaced by a shy bashfulness that he hadn't seen from her in years.
"I uh got the urge to hunt so I..."
"You what pet?" He kept the question gentle but afraid of the answer nonetheless.
"I went after Caleb."
Of all the things she could have said this one knocked him for a loop. She hadn't gone after anyone she would have easy access to she had gone after the Big Bad? That really didn't make any sense.
"I went back to the vineyard and um well..." She swallowed nervously. "ItoyedwithhimforacoupleofhoursbeforeIdrainedhim."
When only a blank look continued to stare at her she took a deep breath and spoke slower as she looked back down at her hands.
"I tortured him for a couple of hours and then I drained him."
"Are you telling me that preacher boy is dead?"
"Yeah."
"Let me get this straight. You, a newly risen vamp, went out and specifically chose your first kill and it was an evil bugger that needed to die?" He was beside himself this was just not happening.
"I know I don't get it either." She covered her face with her hands. "I'm just so confused."
That was it he officially was completely baffled. There was just no way he was going to be able to wrap his mind around what was going on. Not tonight and definitely not out here in the middle of the street. They needed someplace where they could sort all of this out.
He looked around and for the first time recognized where they were.
Grabbing one of her hands he began tugging her to her feet.
"C'mon luv. What do you say we go and get a decent place to sit and try to figure this out?"
She was too tired to argue and walked over to her bag and slung it over her shoulder once more.
They walked along in silence Buffy slightly behind him before he stopped in front of thier destination.
Almost running into him as he stopped she finally looked at where their feet had taken them too.
"I don't know if I can stay here Spike." Her eyes took in the familiar surroundings of the old mansion.
" 'Snot like I've got fond memories of the place either Slayer. But it's furnished and we don't need an invite."
She shrugged. He had a point and she would at least get a chance to sit for awhile.
[Reviews - 37]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | 
Chapter or Story
Has been viewed 3150 times
- Text Size +
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Chapter or Story |
Chapter or Story | Chapter or Story - Text Size +
Author's Chapter Notes:
Hey just a quick thanks to everyone that reviewed. This is just something I've been toying with so it will take a little while before I get the flow going. I'm just happy that even if you arent Vamp!Buffy fans you are still giving me a chance. thanks so much and please let me know what you think.