“She defeated Glory?” Giles asked for what seemed to be the fifth time.
“Beat yes, defeated no.” Faith said wondering why Giles was suddenly so slow on the uptake. He was English, they were speaking English, so really why did he act like they were speaking in tongues. “She kicked the bitch’s ass and she didn’t come back for round two, so that‘s something right.”
“But I thought she said tonight wasn’t about fighting Glory?” Cordelia asked glancing at Angel innocently. She’d been making progress with the brooding but delicious vampire and she wasn’t exactly thrilled that Buffy was suddenly back in town. Sure she claimed to be in love with Spike but that was the oldest trick in the book. Show back up with another vampire to make the original jealous and since she was jealous of the way Angel had totally forgotten she’d existed, Buffy was so not her favorite person right now. “Wasn’t she all let’s not fight, we’ve got time and then she has to try to be the big show-offy hero. I tell you, she hasn’t changed a bit.”
“Buffy been doing this a sight longer than you and for those of you who missed it, she did buy us time.” Spike said instantly seeing where the wind blew in Sunnydale. Willow was angry in general, Xander understanding, Giles at a loss while Faith and Riley were all about the mission. Angel was on a mission of his own and since it was to get Buffy back, the catty brunette was trying to going to be giving Buffy hell for the foreseeable future in an effort to make herself look better.
Bloody hell and they say LA was a crazy place, this sodden town didn‘t just need Slayers, it needed therapists. “You all haven’t given the woman much to fear but tonight Buffy showed her she wasn’t the biggest bad on the block anymore. It’ll make her less cocky, make the bitch think, but it will also make Buffy the center of her warped little world. Sooner or later she’s gonna figure out the key’s in human form and since Buffy’s new in town and able to fight her…”
“She’ll assume Buffy is the key.” Wesley’s said, seeing where Spike was going. “She’ll be so focused on Buffy that Tara will be safe, at least to some degree. Since she was the latest addition to your group it’s not to hard to see why Glory would hone in on her first but now that Buffy and the rest of us have come to town, she’ll have to wonder if we’re muscle or the key. Like Spike said, Glory has more leads to chase with less time to do it in and since this place is heavily warded, we can make a stand here if necessary.”
“Surely you don’t mean…hide?” Giles asked, despite the fact it sounded like the best option.
“Why the hell not.” Spike challenged. “At least until the big day has passed. The portal is the biggest threat and Glory herself second. Once the portal can no longer be opened, we can do the spell and deal with Glory without having to worry about it coming down to the wire.”
“But what about all the people she’s feeding on?” Tara asked quietly, unable to believe she was the cause for so much pain. “She’s draining their minds and we can’t just let it happen.”
“That which can be taken away can be replaced.” Wes said confident in Buffy’s abilities as well as her mystical connections. “Magicks bend the laws of nature but some absolute truth’s remain. While it’s unfortunate that many people will be affected, they are not in mortal danger but the world itself is in serious jeopardy. It may sound callous but this is a war, with a great many lives counting on a victory and in wars there are always casualties. I believe we can help those people but even if restoring them isn’t possible, this is the wisest course of action.”
“I could…I could hand myself over to her.” Tara said bravely.
“Then you’d die.” Buffy said standing in in entry way. “Glory would win and all the people she’s hurt or killed up to this point would have suffered for nothing. Not to mention you be allowing untold others to suffer in another world because I doubt Glorificus is just going to forgive her brothers for casting her out. According to Gabe, she’s the bad seed of the family and for the sake of their people her brothers tried to banish her, never realizing that she’d find her way out of the ether.”
“I don’t want people to hurt because of me.” Tara said quietly, knowing from Buffy’s aura that she was a good person, a person who’d understand what she was trying to say.
“This wasn’t something you chose Tara and none of this is your fault.” Buffy walked over to her and knelled down beside her chair so she could meet her eyes. “I know giving up sounds like the right thing to do but you can’t just give in and let evil have it’s way. You have to stay strong, keep fighting and believe that when it’s all over and done with things will be better. This is your life now Tara, it doesn’t matter how you came to be or where you came from all that you can do is live it. You’ve got friends and people who love you, people who don’t see you as anything but Tara, not key girl so that sounds like a pretty good deal to me…definitely worth fighting for. I‘m willing to at least, so what about you are you willing to fight for it?”
“Yes.” Tara said firmly, bolstered by Buffy’s confidence. Buffy just made it sound like anything was possible and since she was anything but assertive or self-confident herself, she could see why the others had missed her so much. She was a real leader in every sense of the world but more than that, she cared. “I don’t want to let her win.”
Buffy winked at her before getting to her feet and walking over to Angel. Her brief nap had restored her energy and equilibrium but sooner or later she tap back into the Hellmouth and she wasn’t sure it would be safe to talk to Angel under those conditions. She had a firm policy about not killing unless it was necessary; even stubborn, arrogant idiots who were to old to still act like a spoiled toddler.
Okay, maybe she wasn’t as calm as she’d thought but they had to do this sooner or later. “Angel, do you mind coming to the basement with me for a moment?”
Nodding, he let her lead the way but he couldn’t resist sending a triumphant smirk in Spike’s direction. She’d hadn’t even told him what was going on, he thought completely forgetting about their claim as well as their earlier argument.
Cordelia narrowed her eyes at his gesture and turned to Spike. “Aren‘t you Slayer-whipped.”
“Not lately but m’ girl has a dark side, ya know.” Spike said with a satisfied and supremely male smile.
“B’s into kink?” Faith asked unable to picture Buffy the dominatrix. “I always pegged her as a straight vanilla type of girl.”
“You’d be wrong.” Spike said his eyes flashing amber briefly. “She always belonged in the dark, but Captain forehead never saw that. She walks in the light, fights for it but she’s just as much a creature of the moon as we are. It’s in her nature, your nature but she’s seen to much evil to ever become it. She’s accepted that side of herself and even some of mine because of the claim but because she isn’t afraid of it, it has no power over her. Which is what I reckon she’s going to try to get through Angel’s thick skull. As long as he’s afraid of his demon, Angelus will never truly be gone and he’ll never find any sense of peace.”
“I don’t believe becoming the Slayer gives the girls a dark side.” Giles said smartly, offended at the very idea of it.
“Why else do you think the chits can sense demons? It’s not our unnaturalness that they feel but our darkness calling out to their own.” Spike leaned forward and flicked his ashes into the ashtray Joyce had left out for him. Fifteen minutes after their arrival, Buffy packed her mum’s bags and sent her to the hotel so Gunn and his crew could watch out for her but she’d still made sure he felt welcomed to her family and home. She’d called him her son-in-law right in front of the others to let them know her feelings on the matter. “I know that because I can feel it though her. Just like Buffy’s connected to the Hellmouth, I feel connected to Faith and since I am evil, I bloody well know what it feels like.”
When Faith blanched, Spike gave her a easy smile. “Calm yourself pet, it’s not just you. I can feel it in my girl as well.”
“Why do you do that Spike?” Faith asked.
“Cause your family.”
“No…well yeah, as B’s hubby you’re my family but I was talking about you calling yourself evil.” Faith challenged, noticing that he still seemed very much the big bad she’d read about but knowing that wasn’t who he was anymore. “Your not evil because if B had wanted that, she’d have taken up with Angelus.”
“I’m a white hat sure enough, but I’ve been evil a lot longer.” He admitted with a jerk of his shoulder. “It’s still who I am, I’m still Spike Slayer of Slayers but I’m also a man in love, willin’ to do what it takes to keep my woman happy. We all have it inside us children; that capacity to be evil just waitin’ to be unleashed but like Buffy said, it’s a choice not a given. Angelus loved Buffy the way my demon loves her; even when he was trying to kill and shagging Dru senseless Buffy was all he bloody well thought about. I always knew, used to ride him about not being man enough to finish the job but that was his problem, he didn’t want to be a man. The soul was gone but since he’d been along for the entire ride, his own feelings for the girl remained and the longer he fought her, the stronger they got. The night they were sodden possessed was a bloody revelation for him. I don’t know what happened exactly, but he came back smelling of her and since he spent a good half hour trying to scrub his skin off his hide I think that alone spoke for itself. He got to touch her, hold her in his arms again and after that he was set to end the world. Not because he could but because he couldn’t kill her and he couldn’t live with her. Girl’s to strong to be turned, she’d have fought him until it was to late for him to sire her but if she had nothing left to fight for, I bet he figured she’d go willingly.”
Spike looked at Giles for a moment before continuing on. “That’s why he never hurt the lot of you, even in death she’d never forgive him and he made it clear to his minions that you all weren’t to be touched. Sure he said he wanted to kill you himself but since he wanted her, he couldn’t exactly do that now could he? Didn’t have much of a choice with the gypsy but didn’t you lot ever wonder why you made it out of the library the day Dru took out the other Slayer? If Angelus hadn’t threatened to stake Dru and anyone else who killed you, none of you would have lived but since no-one, least of all Dru would dare defy his orders you were safe as houses.”
“Safe…” Giles sputtered out, half rising off the sofa. “Willow was put in a coma and Kendra was murdered, I hardly call that safe nor do I recall Angelus being concerned for my life when he tortured me for hours. You were the one who convinced him to let me live.”
“Had to, the Slayer threatened to stake Dru if you died and I figured the same would go if Angelus went through with his plans to turn you.” Spike let that sink in for a moment before waving at the others. “As for the raid on the library, since when have you ever seen vampires willingly leave before killing, let alone not taking a taste of the nummy treats they’d beat? These kids were at their mercy and by all rights should be dead but Angelus’s obsession with Buffy kept em’ alive. He planned to let her turn you all herself as a special treat but because Buffy always looked to you for guidance Ripper, Angelus wanted you to be under his control and not hers. No-one ever turned a Slayer before and if she’d kept her soul, he didn’t want you lot to stage a bloody coup. Same goes for the other Slayer, if he couldn’t open the portal, he couldn‘t let her live when his consort would soon be adjusting to the change.”
Spike crushed out his cigarette giving them all a few moments to take in what he’d just told them. One by one he watched as they accepted it as the truth and then he wanted to open their eyes to the one other thing they’d missed. “Since seeing Buffy again, he’s acting a lot like Angelus isn’t he? I’ve no doubt he loved the girl she’d been but he doesn’t know her now but he does know she’s moved on and his demon’s to arrogant to just accept that. It’s whispering all sorts of nasties in his ear, telling him to take what belongs to them and since Angel’s so busy pretendin’ Angelus is gone, he doesn’t even realize he’s being played like a damn fiddle. He’s even more loyal to what he sees as his family, stepping forward to protect her and myself after Willow did her light show, proved that much. His instinct was to protect us and think what you like about Angel, but believe me he wants me dead. Not Angelus, just your precious soulful Angel. Can’t really blame the man, he’s watching the girl he gave up making her new man happy and that’s not something any bloke likes to see.”
“Do you think he could let Angelus take over, even with his soul intact?” Giles asked, finally understanding what Spike was trying to tell them all. Angel’s soul may be bound but he was still a demon and if he gave up or gave in a soul alone wouldn’t stop Angelus from making a bloody return.
“Buffy loves him, not the way she used to of course but he’s still there in her heart the way all of you are so she’s never going to let him give up.” Spike flicked his gaze down to the floor before letting a sad smile overtake his lips as he imagine what Angel must be feeling right now. He knew what she had planned and while he didn’t like it, she had his blessing never the less. A man without hope is truly in hell and that was what Buffy had always been to Angel…hope and salvation and when he finally realizes she can no longer give him that, he was in for a rough time.
Dru hadn’t cared for him enough to let him go but that’s what he loved about Buffy. She didn’t just stop caring about someone once she let them inside her heart and while he hated knowing that she’d smell of Angel when she walked back up those stairs, he had no doubt that she’d still be his in every way. Angel on the other hand didn’t realize he had someone waiting for him somewhere and since Spike knew exactly how painful that was to overcome, he couldn’t begrudge his grandsire a moment of peace in the arms of the woman he still loved. Even if it was his woman, because to do otherwise would be the same as condemning him to death and like he’d told Faith, his family’s welfare always came first. “She’ll find some way to make him want to fight for himself; the bloody chit could make the devil himself fight her fight because she’s got a way of seein’ inside a person and making them realize what they could become. In Red she saw the darkness and not only made her face it but also gave her the control she’d need to fight it back down and keep it there. With Blondie over there she made her realize that she’s was given a chance at life and that she should take it and tonight she showed the lot of you how to hope again. So even as bloody stubborn as Angel is, I’ve no doubt she’ll find a way to keep him on the path to his redemption.”
The second they were both on the ground floor of the basement, Buffy moved over to Angel and placed her hand against his cheek. “What do you feel when I touch you Angel?”
Sighing, he leaned into her touch and gave her a soft intimate smile. “Warm Buffy, not just your heat warming my flesh but warm deep down inside where no hand could ever reach.”
“I feel cold.” Buffy said bluntly, closing the distance between them. Laying her forehead against his chest she tried to put her feelings into words he’d be able to understand through his jealousy. “Even this close to you I feel cold and it wasn’t always like that. You used to be able to burn me with a look from across the room but even the hottest and the brightest of fires need to be tended so they will continue to burn.”
Looking up at him, she smiled softly, moving her hand up to brush his hair back off his face. It was an intimate gesture, one she had done to him hundreds of times but it no longer caused her heart stir inside her chest. “You didn’t want that Angel, weren’t willing to fight for me so I had to let you go. I went to Ireland and I carried you with me inside my soul and heart. It was killing me Angel, loving you and knowing you didn’t want me was causing me to die inside and as though I was seeking out your essence I ended up in the same alley you died in. I don’t know how I knew what had happened there centuries before I was born but I could just feel it.”
“What did you do?” Angel asked softly, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer against his chest so that he could feel her heart beating.
“I laid down on that filthy street and I cried. I poured out my heart and soul and I mourned you, not only Liam’s passing but the end of our love.” She didn’t bother to keep the emotion out of her voice nor was she ashamed of the tears that had gathered in her eyes as she thought about that time of her life. “I loved you Angel with all that I was but it wasn’t enough…”
“But it was Buffy.” He insisted, tilting up her face so he could see the emotions swirling though her soft green eyes. “You were the first person that made me feel something other than cold, something other than dead inside and because of that, I couldn’t stay with you and keep my soul.”
“You could have if you wanted me badly enough.” Buffy said firmly. “Even my mom finally realized how what we’d found together was special but I knew, I just knew you wouldn’t change your mind about leaving.”
Buffy let him pull her down with him onto the last steps of the stairs and while she still fit in his lap, it didn’t make her feel connected to him. They were two bodies separated by flesh but with Spike they were one being finally made whole…complete. “I saw our future that night when I looked into the flames and it wasn’t a future I wanted to experience. Love turned into pain and pain yielded to bitterness and I didn’t want that for us. I wanted our love to mean more than that and when I finished crying for you, I let you go with love, in love. It was the second most hardest thing I have ever done but I‘d do it again in a heartbeat.”
“Knowing I would be walking away from you was the hardest thing I had ever experienced in either of my lives beloved.” Angel murmured against her hair, relishing her nearness as his body adjusted to all the changes in hers.
She look up at him and met his eyes unflinchingly. “No Angel staying here with me, fighting the temptation and looking for a way to bind your soul would have been a thousand times harder. It would have been pure agony to be so close, knowing how we could have and praying for an answer that might never come but I was willing to do it, willing to believe in us. You weren’t. You never even attempted to find a way around the curse, you just accepted it and decided to move on without letting go or even telling me the truth about what we shared. I had to hear from a stranger that you’d married me that night and then I learned in another alley that you hadn’t even marked me as your mate, just as your childe.”
“I only wanted to protect you.” He said, wishing he had marked her as his mate because then Spike wouldn’t be a part of the picture. No childe would dare trespass against his elders mark.
“Spike would.” Buffy said smugly, completely able to read his eyes in a way she’d never been able to before because she was no longer blinded by her love for him. “He’d have still taken me as his mate and he’d have fought you for me. You had me for two years and I would have gladly given you all that I was but even when you had the chance, you didn’t. You’d already marked me against my permission, which I would have given had you asked, so you have no excuse for not making me yours when you had the chance. Yet two nights with Spike was all it took for us to decide what we wanted."
“What?” Angel asked, physically jolting because he’d assumed Spike had spent weeks wearing down her defenses.
“Two nights Angel and from that we’ve built something that will keep us both warm until the end of time. It burns just as hot as what you and I shared but I know it will last forever because both of us are willing to fight for it until our last moment in this life.”
“If that was true, why are you here with me like this?” He asked, tightening his hold on her. “He’s not the one holding you, touching you now I am and you entered my embrace willingly. I don‘t see him down here fighting to keep you Buffy?”
Buffy shifted slightly so she could place a gentle kiss against his lips. It lasted the barest of moments before she pulled away again...it was a goodbye long overdue. “He knows what I’m doing Angel, he even blocked himself off to me so we could have this time alone. Not because he is afraid that I might still have feelings for you but because he knows that I don’t. He trusts me Angel, knows that he is the only one I want as my mate and husband but he also loves me enough to let me close this final chapter of my life. You will always be in my heart Angel but it’s no longer yours. I know who I belong to and someday you’ll find the one person you’d risk everything for…fight for because a life without them would be worth living.”
“I already have.” Angel whispered hoarsely, knowing in his heart that the day he’d always dreaded had arrived but still unable to let it go...let her go. “I don’t think I can live without you Buffy.”
“Yes you can Angel and you know it.” Buffy said brushing away his tears as they fell. “You thought I was dead but here you are still living, still fighting and while it may not be the life you once dreamed of having it doesn’t mean it has to be a nightmare. Until Spike I never believed anyone could make me feel the way you did and someday you will look into someone eyes and just know that they are truly your soul-mate. You'll know when it happens because from that moment on, nothing will able be able to keep you apart.”
“He doesn’t have a soul Buffy.” Angel said coldly roughly shoving her off of his lap so that he could put as much distance between them as possible in such a small space.
“Yes he does, all this time its been inside me waiting for the moment we’d be reunited.” Buffy said getting to her feet. She tried being gentle but apparently he just felt compelled to make his life as difficult as possible. “You once claimed to be my soul-mate Angel and even now you say everything you felt for me is still there but once again you pushed me away.”
When he froze as her words hit there mark, she seized the opportunity and closed the distance between them in a blink of an eye. Without mercy she brought her palm against his face and the sound was so loud she had no doubt even the humans upstairs had heard it. She'd tried compassion but all he understood or let himself feel anymore was pain. “Listen to me, your life sucks but you are not the only person in this world with issues Angel. You’re not responsible for Angelus’s actions and some part of you knows that because you were the one who fucking told me that the demon doesn’t get your soul. You may remember it all but since you couldn’t fight against the demon, you aren’t responsible for what happened. I think you just use it as an excuse because as long as your brooding and feeling guilty for yourself you don’t have to fight for what you want. You’re afraid your still weak, spoiled Liam underneath and that kind of cowardice in someone who claims to be a Champion is disgusting.”
Growling, he shoved her into the wall and pinned her body in place with his own. “You want me to fight for what I want lover, than you better be prepared for one hell of a fight because I want you.”
Faking a tremble, she let him grope her mercilessly until he was distracted enough to never see her knee as it headed straight up into his groin. And she did it with a smile on her face.
With a loud roar of pain he fell to the stone floor, cupping himself as his demon face rushed to the fore. “Hello Angelus, I gotta admit I wanted to do that ever since you called me a lousy lay.”
“I’m still Angel.” He said gingerly getting to his feet; winching from both the pain and his own actions.
“Errt, you're both a man and a demon or more accurately a spineless human and a heartless monster.” Buffy said mockingly. “Neither one is really appealing to me, so if you like being a living un-breathing vampire I suggest you keep your hands off me. My mate is both an strong man and a fierce and devoted demon, plus he’s an amazing lover.”
Shivering wickedly, she let her eyes fill with heat as she thought of her mate. “The things he can do with just his tongue…let me just say the whole not needing to breathe thing is a definite bonus in the sex department. He can go down on me for hours until I’m begging for him to stop and praying he won’t.”
Stalking over to him she met his eyes and let all her emotions drain away, proving without a doubt that only one man could bring all that she was to the surface and it was no longer him. “Like it or not you are both a man and a demon Angel and I can accept that but you need to as well. You may not be responsible for Angelus’s glory days but you just tried your hand at being evil and I gotta say, that’s something I can’t accept. So here’s the bottom line, just like I told Tara I’m only willing to fight for people that are willing to fight for themselves and if you can’t or won’t do that, then the next time your demon takes control will be the last. I will kill you Angel, I don’t want to but like you said to me back in the day, Angelus is just to damn dangerous to let wander around unchecked. This is both your chances to prove you are strong enough to be a part of this world. I can’t give you what you want but I can give you a family that will always love and accept you for what you are, unsavory past and all. No-one fights alone, no-one has to pretend to be something they’re not and as long as you're willing to never give up, Spike and I won’t give up on you either.”
Buffy wasn’t really sure how it happened but in that moment she felt Spike’s demon slide inside her skin like he’d always been there. Her heart stopped and she could feel the bones in her face re-knitting themselves as her face shifted while upstairs, Spike became completely human for the first time in more than a hundred years. Like she’d been borne to his ways, Buffy looked at Angel though her yellow eyes and pushed her power out in a call to his demon.
Angelus rose to her call, pushing the soul so deep inside that it was only a speck of light in the obsidian pupils of his amber eyes. “Your sire abandoned you Angelus, cast you out of the fold when you needed them the most but both you and your soul Angel are welcome in our family. I offer you a place there if you wish to belong to us. Your pain shall be our pain, our joy yours and never shall you walk the night alone.”
Just like Liam had been unable to resist Darla, Angelus found himself enthralled by the diminutive blonde that offered him a life he’d only dreamed of and while it would come at a high price, he couldn’t turn away. Vampires were not solitary by nature, they sought out their kindred looking for a place to belong and Buffy and Spike could give him that and unlike Darla, they would never forsake him. Closing the distance between them, he offered her his neck. “Your battles are my battles, your pain my pain and by my blood I offer you my loyalty.”
Without hesitation, Buffy located Darla’s mark and sank her fangs into his skin, ripping through the aged scar tissue to leave her own mark upon his flesh. Drinking deeply of his rich, powerful blood she drained him just to the point where he’d combust and when he lacked the strength to stand she held him to her chest as she gracefully slid them down to the floor. Pulling out her fangs, she licked over the wound to close it. “Mine.” She said as she met his eyes before offering him her wrist. “Drink of me childe.”
Obediently he did as she asked, sinking his fangs deep inside her skin and drinking down the elixir of her blood. He could taste her power, but also Spike’s essence and finally understood the connection they shared. They were one, two parts of a whole and in that moment he made his peace with their doomed love vowing that someday he‘d find his own mate and experience the wonder that they possessed for himself. Pulling away as his eyes started to close of their own accord he barely had time to whisper a single word before the changing sleep overtook him. “Sire.”