Willow called Buffy earlier to see if she would meet her and Tara at the Bronze. They commandeered their usual table in the back, offering them privacy and access to the dance floor if they wanted to dance. She had felt an urge to see Buffy for some reason, and looking at her best friend she was glad she listened to her inner self.
Buffy sat across from Willow working on her second Pina Colada, when normally she would never drink more than one. Willow would occasionally throw her significant other, Tara, a worried look.
"Buffy, sweetie, you know you can tell me anything right?" Willow asked. She had not seen her best friend indulge in alcohol since that one time in college.
"I know, and when I know you'll know." Buffy sighed, and wondered if ingesting the mind-altering substance would erase the words said earlier by her co-workers.
Both Tara and Willow shared a look of concern. "Maybe if you tell us what is it you want to know, we might be able to help you," Tara suggested.
"I found out something today, something not all that nice." Buffy looked at them with tears in her eyes and finally told them. "They call me the 'Ice Queen' at work.
Willow's eyes grew cold and her facial expression angry. "They're idiots. You've said it yourself, they just like to get paid to sit around and gossip like old ladies. They're just jealous is all."
"I can't win. Either I'm too friendly or not friendly enough," Buffy sighed. "I just didn't want another Parker incident."
"Parker was a dingleberry and just not right in the head," Willow said. "Mr. Masters likes you and that's all that matters."
"He's been great," Buffy agreed. "He knew the score with Parker and the mess that caused, and he still hired me and treats me with respect."
"Because he knows you're a good person, and you're good at what you do." Tara added her point of view with an understanding smile. "Buffy, you know what Parker did was not your fault, right?"
Buffy looked over at her and said, "Yes, and then a little bit no."
"Why no?" Willow asked, knowing finally after two and a half years Buffy was really talking to them about when Parker sexually assaulted her.
"I know I did nothing on purpose to attract Parker to me. I really do," Buffy started to explain. For the first time since she attempted counseling in the past, she felt that she could really talk about it. "But something still nags at me that he saw something in my behavior to make him think otherwise."
"Maybe it's what he rationalized in his own mind and had nothing at all to do with you," Tara offered. "Men like him see what they want to see, nothing more. You did nothing to entice his attack on you. His warped sense of reality pushed him beyond caring, and it had nothing at all to do with you."
"I know that here," Buffy said as she pointed to her head.
"Then tell it to your conscience," Willow said, with a soft understanding smile as she pointed to Buffy's chest. "You are a warm caring person, Buffy. I think it would be okay to relax and let your co-workers see that.
Buffy nodded yes, causing a wave of dizziness to come over her. Suddenly, she regretted finishing the second drink as she laid her head down on the table, praying she did not disgrace herself.
*******
Spike stood at the bar, not listening to the conversation around him. His focus was on the petite little blonde talking with the red head and the dark blonde women at her table. He could see by their expression that the conversation was on the serious side. Once Buffy's head hit the table he knew instinctively she was not handling her liquor very well.
"Excuse me!" he said to Angel, as he quickly moved to help the damsel in distress.
Willow could see it in her eyes that Buffy was about to be sick. A sudden movement caused her to notice that a man all dressed in black quickly came to Buffy's aide. The look of concern on his face seemed genuine as she looked over to get Tara's feel about the man.
"They match," Tara whispered, as she read the couple's aura when the man in black quickly helped Buffy to stand.
"Come on, Pet. Let's get you some fresh air," Spike said as he gently helped Buffy to stand.
"Spike, I'm gonna be sick," Buffy pouted. "I don't wanna be sick."
"Shush, Luv. I got ya; no need to worry," he reassured her as he gently picked her up when she almost fell. "Lay your head down while I take you outside for some fresh air."
Willow grabbed the napkins from off the table and followed them out the door, having recognized the name Spike. She wondered if he was one of the culprits that hurt Buffy's feelings today.
Tara smiled, and decided she would wait for their return. She was doing her own version of Xander's snoopy dance in her head, knowing finally Buffy had met the one person meant for her.
Buffy felt better once she was outside. The cool air felt good against her flushed skin. The steady beat of her rescuer's heart against her ear calmed her. She could smell the mixture of his cologne, leather, and smoke.
"You should stop smoking?" she whispered. "It's not really good for you."
"I keep trying." He chuckled and noticed that she was not as tense as when he first picked her up.
"Try harder," she sighed. The alcohol had loosened her up a bit, giving her the courage to speak up.
"Care to give me a reason too," he teased.
"So you can live to see your children grow up," she offered, silently wishing she were the one that would be their mother.
"Well, I have to have them first." He chuckled again, as he envisioned a few little Buffy's running around him.
"You have to find the right woman to have them," Buffy explained.
Her reply was so matter-of-fact like, that he almost asked her right there and then if she would consider doing the honors. The sudden desire to have her be the mother of his children hit him like a ton of bricks. For a moment he really felt dazed, recovering quickly so as not to drop her. The way she fit in his arms made him feel like she belonged there. He could not help but wonder if she was a witch, and that she had cast a spell on him.
Buffy suddenly needed to know if he believed her to be like the others at work did, so she asked him. "Do you think I'm an 'Ice Queen', too?"
Spike felt a surge of anger go through him, seeing the hurt she quickly hid away after asking her question. The first time he heard Harmony call her that he had told her he never wanted to hear it again.
"I never liked it when I heard it before, and I like it even less now," he answered her as he moved to sit on a crate, not wanting to let her go.
"I thought I was doing my job. I didn't want it to be like the last one," she mumbled, wondering why her mouth was not listening to her brain telling it to shut up. "I didn't want it to happen again."
Spike heard the hurt and fear laced in her voice and encouraged her to tell him more. "Didn't want what to happen again, Pet?"
"To be misunderstood."
"How could you be misunderstood, Buffy?" he asked, feeling a tad uneasy when he felt her shudder in his arms.
"It's not something I want to talk about," she muttered uneasily, feeling like she had said too much as it was.
"I'm going to be honest, Pet. I thought you were a bit on the uppity side at first, until today. I realized I'd misjudged you, and I'm sorry for that," Spike told her; happy she was not making any attempts to move off his lap.
Buffy's head slowly lifted up and she tilted her face up to look directly in his eyes. "I didn't want anyone to think I wanted to have sex with them is why, and then force me, like before."
*******
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Buffy and Spike meet in a social setting, but what is wrong with Buffy? For those that have taken on baring with me....Thanks for doing so......you guys rock.....