Chapter 1
As Willow and Tara finish helping Anya get ready, Buffy locks herself in her bathroom. She stares down at the little plastic stick in her hand.
“ No. No. No. This can not be happening!” Buffy looks at it again and see the little blue plus sign. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was pregnant.
*Knock. Knock*
“ Buffy, are you okay in there?” Buffy looks at the lock door.
“ Yeah, Willow. Um… could you send Tara in here, please?”
“ Sure, I’ll get her.” Willow is a little upset that Buffy has been drawing herself in again and not sharing things with her. She walks back to the bedroom. She turns to Tara, who is helping Anya put her necklace on.
“ Tara, Buffy wants to talk to you. She is in the bathroom.”
“ Okay, Willow. You're all set, Anya. Just relax for a little bit.” Tara turns and leaves the room. As she nears the bathroom she can hear Buffy sobbing. Tara gently knocks on the door, before being pulled into the bathroom by an upset slayer.
“ Tara, I can't believe this happened?”
“ What happened, Buffy? Is it Spike?” Buffy shakes her head.
“ No. I’m pregnant. How can I be pregnant?” Buffy starts to cry again.
“ Is it Spike’s?” Buffy nods. “ I hate to ask this, but how do you feel about him? I mean really feel.”
“I’m not sure. I know he is the only one who can make me feel alive inside. I’ve always felt something around him. Even an attraction when we first met. After everything with Angel and Riley, I really don’t know what love is supposed to feel like.” Tara wraps her arm around Buffy’s shoulder in a comforting embrace.
“ Well, when I’m with Willow, its like she gives me something I was missing by just being near me. When I think about her, I get a warm feeling inside me. I still love her, even though we are not together and she moved out. Do you feel like Spike gives you something that you didn’t know was missing?”
“ Yes, but I’m scared. I’m scared of what others might think, and of getting hurt. Of letting him know how I feel and him leaving me. Everyone man I love leaves me in some way. I kept pushing him away so he would leave and I wouldn’t get hurt, but I want him to be different. I want him to be the one to stay.”
“ You need to tell him. About the baby and how you feel. I’m going to be blunt with you. You’re in love with him. You said it yourself.” Buffy looks up at her. “ All the men you love leaves you in one way and you want Spike to be the one to stay. You need to talk to him. Tell him everything. You can wait to tell the others. But not Spike.”
“ Tara, I never meant to bring you into this, but you are the only on e who understands that I am not perfect. You know both sides. You know that what truly matters is the now and not the past.”
“ Its okay, Buffy. We’re all family. A weird, messed up, kind of dysfunctional family, but still family.” Buffy giggles at the comment.
“ Lets get you cleaned up and I’ll redo your makeup.”
“ Thank you, Tara. You really are a good friend.” Buffy hugs her, then washes her face off. Tara and Buffy head back to Buffy’s room where Tara redoes Buffy’s makes up. They then head downstairs gathering everything they need for the wedding.
30 minutes later.
Anya and Xander are both waiting in their respective rooms waiting for the ceremony to begin. Buffy and the others are greeting and seating guest. Buffy is waiting for the next guest to come when Spike arrives wearing a button-down black shirt and a pair of black slacks. A change from his usual wardrobe.
“ Buffy.” Spike nods his head with his greeting, then stuffs his hands into his pockets.
“ Spike.”
“ I’m here to support Anya, luv. You told me to stay away so I am.”
“ It’s okay, Spike. I need to talk to you though.”
“ Well, is it an actual talk, or an ‘I find you disgusting and you’re just convenient’ talk.”
“ An actual talk. We have to talk in private though.” Buffy takes his hand and leads him into one of the empty rooms in the lodge. “ Spike, please sit down.” He sits across from her.
“ What is this about, pet?”
“ William, according to your know vampires can’t conceive, right?”
“ Yeah. We shoot blanks, Buffy. Why?” She moves to stand in front of him. Buffy takes his hand and places it gently on her stomach.
“ Well, you’re not shooting blanks, Spike. That’s for sure.” His eyes grow wide when he realizes what she is saying.
“ You….you mean I’m going to be a father? Buffy, you don’t know how happy this makes me. I never thought I would be a father, even when I was human. Are you going to let me be in the baby’s life?”
“ Of course. He or she will need their daddy. Also, I've been talking to Tara. She has known about us for a while and is the only one. You know how you always say not yet when I say I don’t love you. I'm not sure what love is anymore. With Angel things were a little simpler. I was still young and had this perfect vision. Tara told me how she feels about Willow. How Willow completes her. I’ve been scared. Scared of letting you in, of letting myself love. I feel for you the way she feels for Willow. I won’t know if it is love, but I want to try to have an honest and healthy relationship with you. For us, and our baby.” Spike can see in her eyes that her words are the truth. He circles her waist with his arms and brings her close to him.
“ It is enough for now, pet. I love you and our child. I won’t let anything happen to either of you.” His hands move to cup her face. With that he leans in and gently kisses her. As they are about to deepen the kiss Dawn walks in on them to see them kissing.
“ Wha… when did this happen? Are you guys together as in a couple?” Buffy giggles at Dawn’s giddiness. Spike chuckles and wraps his arms around Buffy’s waist.
“ Yes, we’re a couple. It officially happened after Willow’s memory spell.”
“ So, that night that you didn’t come home you were with Spike?! Now I know why you were so upset after Riley left. He must have found out and you got scared. What did you do, break up with Spike?”
“ Well you know how I am. I always let what others think and never do what I think or what’s in my heart. We also need to tell you something else, but it has to remain a secret okay?” Dawn nods her head yes. “ We are going to have a baby together. I am also going to have Spike move in with us.” Spike and Dawn give her looks of shock. Spike holds her tighter. A slight smile appears on Buffy’s face from Spike’s action. “ It has to stay a secret for a little while. Anya will have our heads if this day is not all about her.”
“ My lips are sealed. I am just excited about becoming an aunt. By the way, the reason I was looking for you is that Xander locked himself in his room. Anya is scared that he will call off the wedding.”
“ Luv, I’ll go talk to him. You go comfort Anya. Whelp just probably needs some assurance from a man.” He kisses Buffy then kisses the top of Dawn’s head when he passes her on his way out of the room. Buffy and Dawn talk about the changes that are going to be mad when the wedding was over. Spike goes to Xander’s waiting room.
Knock Knock
“Go away”
“ Not going to happen, Whelp. Now open up and let me in.” Xander opens the door after a few minutes.
“ What do you want, Spike?”
Spike holds his hands up in surrender. “I just want to talk. Dawn told me that Anya is worried that you won’t go through with the wedding. Figured that you might need a male to talk to.”
“ No, I don’t. Go away, Spike.”
“ Just answer me this. Do you love Anya?”
“ Yes I do. Very much.”
“ Then why are you in her instead of out there marrying her?”
“ I don’t know.”
“ I do.” Xander looks at him. “You’re scared that after the wedding everything will change. The thing is that it will. You and Anya love each other deeply. I can see it. Marriage is all about change. It is about changing two different lives into one with the both of you. You are ready for it. You also think that you will become your father. You won’t. Trust me. Your friends have seen to that and will see to it. This is your family. Anya is your future. Don’t waste what you and Anya have in nerves. Go out there you pounce and marry your girl.” Xander stares at him thinking about what he just said.
“Thanks, Spike. That really made sense. Would you be my best man because one I don’t have one and two you just did what a best man is supposed to do. Plus it grantees you a dance with Buffy.”
“Sure, mate.” Xander gives Spike the ring to hold
“ Anya’s going to love it isn’t she?”
“Yeah, whelp. The things a beauty. You need anything else before we get you hitched?” Spike puts the ring in his pocket.
“No, just if I look like I’m going to run punch me and hold me there?”
“ I’ll let Buffy punch you while I hold you. How about that?”
“ Yeah. Let’s get out there before Anya sends a vengeance demon on me.” Spike chuckles at that as they leave the room. They head to the hall where all the guests are waiting.
Author's Chapter Notes:
: Dedicated to Erika. My best friend who lets me be me and never sees me as something that I am not. Thanks for being there for me and remember I will always be there for you. Best friends for life, no matter what happens.