Author's Chapter Notes:
This is my view of what happened "behind the scenes" at the end of season 7, Angel season 5, and post-Angel season 5 .

I want to dedicate this fic to my best friend Mara, for always being there for me.
Thank you girl.
“Buffy?”

“What?”

“Have you been crying?”

“Yes, I have alright. I was upset.”

“‘About what, luv?”

She couldn’t believe he was asking her that. Did he not know she really cared about him? Ok, I guess not, and well….she couldn’t blame him.

Although the pet name on the end of his sentence assured her he wasn’t going to be mad for a long time. He never was.

She was suddenly distracted when Spike sat up and the tiny window above the bed allowed a beam of moonlight to fall upon his sharp cheekbones. God, she had almost forgotten how beautiful he was.

“Buffy, about what? Are you ok, pet?”

“About…You know. What I said today! God Spike, what is wrong with you.”

Ok, he hadn’t seen that one coming.
His Buffy stood there so helpless and fragile; he just wanted to hold her like a baby. Not that he would ever try to make a move though. Not after…

She finally walked over to his bed and sat down: Her face buried in her hands. It felt a little like the day he had wanted to kill her with a rifle and found her on the back porch, crying.

So he did the only thing he was able to do then, and the only right thing to do now; he laid his hand on her back, softly petting, and said nothing. Waiting for her to flinch and walk away from him. Well, let’s say he was wrong.

When Buffy felt his hand on her, something she had secretly wanted for so long, her head jolted right up and before she knew what she was doing she had thrown herself into his arms, burying her head into his slender muscular shoulder and started sobbing.

Spike, who had really not seen that one coming, wanted to back away. She shouldn’t want this, she hated him. But still, he could never reject her, so he just rapped his arms around her and played with strands of her golden hair, still silent, and letting her cry.

Buffy did not know how awful she actually had felt, until now. She wept for her mother, her death, her mistakes, and of course Spike. She knew she needed to let this out, if she ever wanted to get over all of this; forget about the past. And he was the only one who would let her cry without questions, or pity. They sat like that for what seemed like hours till Spike heard her muffle something against his now wet arm.

“Imwzozrrlyike”

“What was that, luv?”

“I said, I’m so sorry Spike. I didn’t mean what I said today, you know that. I just….I miss the times we spend together back then. I miss…I miss you”

“Buffy, God I’ll never. …”

But before he could finish that sentence, Buffy leaned over and kissed him on the lips, so carefully it was like she though he was made of glass. Spike could help himself, and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her closer. This random action was going to leave them with so many more questions and doubts later, but he didn’t care. He wanted her.

Buffy moaned as he deepened the kiss and she ran her tong over his full lower lip. He groaned and opened his mouth to give her full access, while his pants were getting a little too tight. God, if she would keep wriggling against him like that there would be hell to pay in a matter of minutes.

She explored and tasted his mouth like it was the first time, and so did he. His hands were now slipping under her large t-shirt and circled over her bare back. Up and down over her spine, up…and down.

Those hands: They made her shiver with need, and she tried to pull him even closer, wrapping her legs around him and running her fingers trough the hair on the back of his neck. She felt his need for her trough his tight jeans and it made her more then proud to realize she still did that to him. Her hands started wondering around underneath his shirt and he gasped when she run her fingers over his abdomen. This was just getting better and better. Or…maybe …..

“Spike, are you down there?”

Andrew yelled in a annoying high-pitched voice and they heard him coming down the stairs. Cursing under their breath they distanced themselves from each other. Buffy stood up and took a few steps from his bed, pretending she had never been on it.

Spike saw her cheeks were flushed, her hair a little messy, her clothes slightly out of place and her lips red and swollen from his kisses. If he looked only half of what she looked like right now, they were never going to get away with this.

“I know you already said no, but are you sure I can’t videotape you when you sleep, cause I…”

Andrew finally made it down the stairs and his eye fell on the slightly ravaged-looking Buffy.

“Oh Buffy I didn’t knew you were here.”

Then his eyes widened.

“Wait a minute; you can cut the sexual tension with a knife in here. Did you guys…. Are you guys..?”

“Andrew, what the hell are you doing down here, it’s 4 something in the morning.”

Interrupted Buffy, with a voice that sounded nothing like her own. Her cheeks turned into a shade of what was almost purple. Spike was not as uncomfortable as he was furious, he felt like ripping the little twit his throat out. He obviously interrupted something that could have led to something he had wanted since what seemed like forever, and there he was asking him gay questions about videotaping him while he was sleeping again.

“I couldn’t sleep and I was bored, and Spike is like, always awake so…”

“So you thought you had the right to come done here and disturb my private time. We talked about this Andrew.”

Spike got of the bed, grabbed Andrew by his collar and pushed him roughly up the stairs again.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch! Ok, ok, I’ll leave.”

“And you will tell no one about this, understood?”

Spike said in a low and dangerous voice, while he gave an extra tug on Andrews’s collar. Andrews face lit up like it was his birthday.

“Oh, you mean I can not tell anyone about you guys; a vampire and the slayer of the vampires, feeling these feelings of deep and pass…”

But Spike let out such a dangerous growl; he wisely shut his mouth and walked to the door.

“Right….Ok, I won’t tell. It will be our little secret. It would make a great story though. A dangerous, handsome vampire who got his soul for the love of his life: The Slayer. And she: Beautiful, with a lion's heart and the face of an angel. Both brought together by fate, forced to work together and ending up tangled in this complicated love story.”

And with a sign he closed the door behind him.

A few seconds, there was nothing but silence between them. Buffy still stood a few steps from his bed, looking rather tensed now. He knew this had blown it, and broke the tension by saying;

“You should probably go too, before there’re starting to miss you…”

That sounded a bit lame, since it was only 4.12 in the morning. But Buffy only nodded,

”Right, well…. good night then.”

“Goodnight Buffy.”

He wanted to walk back to his bed, but Buffy suddenly moved in front of him. To his surprise her eyes were still kind and warm, and before he could say anything she cupped his cheek and placed one last kiss on his lips. She just needed to let him know she was serious about this, and words just weren’t enough at this point.

He was too stunned to reply, until she was halfway the staircase. It was one of the things that had been bothering him for weeks, and he repeated the question he had asked her before, and did not yet had been answered.

“Buffy…and the principal...”

She stopped to look at him.

“How does he fit in?”

He looked at her with stunning blue, pleading eyes and all she could do was smile.

“He doesn’t.”





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