He knew he could never stay mad at her.
He had been boiling when he had seen her with Angel not one hour ago, but his anger had ebbed away the minute she had walked into his basement. De jà vu alright.
She had told it had mend nothing, and even though he did not know if he could believe that, he was pleased to know that she at least cared about his feelings.
Yesterday, when they had bummed into each other in the hallway, he had pretended it had been nothing more then some cold comfort he had given her, the night they had shared together, just to make the vibe between them a little less awkward.
To his surprise, she had forced him to tell what it had really been, and even though he had been terrified, he had told her his true feelings. And for once, she hadn’t backed away.
“Were you there with me?”
“I was.”
Jesus Christ, Did she have any idea what he was asking her? Did she even realize what she was doing to him?
He had left with the feeling he was on fire. There was still hope: She cared for him.
His hope for a relationship with her was long gone, but hope for friendship…No, not friendship: They would never be friends. Just like he had said to Angel and Buffy, 5 years ago.
As long as he loved her in the way that he did, they would never be just friends. But hope for a connection with her, that was something that was still there.
After he had checked out the vineyard, which was deserted, he went to the graveyard to help out Buffy with her “secret mission.”
And then he had smelled him. Son of a bitch!
Was he really here? It hadn’t taken long to figure that out: He was here alright, and all over his woman too.
When he had walked in he had seen the whole display: They had been wrapped into this fiercely kiss, having eyes for nothing but each other.
This had extinguished his fire like a bucked of ice. It had hurt him so bad; he had to get out of there. He couldn’t even disagree with the First, standing beside him and looking like Buffy, telling him she was a bitch.
All he wanted to do was go home.
But then she had come down to his basement. She had not stayed with captain Forehead, but she had come home…..to him.
Telling him it had mend nothing, and begging him if she could spend the night in his bed. All of his rage disappeared when she gave him the necklace Angel had given to her.
Could she consider him a hero? Did she really trust him with this? He was speechless. But all his doubt melted away when she cupped his face and smiled: She had chosen for him, and he could see how much had chanced between them.
She fell asleep in his embrace. He felt complete.
************************************************************
Buffy couldn’t believe what she had just done.
Angel had appeared out of nowhere, while she was fighting Caleb, and it had thrown her completely out of balance. What was he doing here?
After she killed Caleb, and Angel wasn’t unconscious anymore, she did not know what to do, or how to react.
When he had asked her if she was happy to see him, I was almost natural to kiss him. It was what she was expected to do: And so she did.
It was just that, the moment she touched his lips, they only scenario that popped into her head, was Spike. Giving her that look that said ‘Just friend huh, yeah right.’
And she pulled away. Frightened by her own reaction. What was Spike doing to her? Was she falling for him? Was that really possible?
But whatever it was she was feeling, this wasn’t fair to either of them. She made a stupid comment about basking, while she figured out what to do next. She cared for them both.
This was an impossible situation and she had to make a choice.
If Angel stayed here, she would never be able to expand what she and Spike had build up these few weeks, or years actually.
If he went, her army would loose one man.
She knew what she had to do.
“I need you gone.”
They had spent the night together once again. They had held each other in comfort and she had felt unusually calm. Even after her little problem with Angel.
Spike had taken her back into his bed, stroked her hair and kissed her softly on the forehead.
They were ok, and she couldn’t be happier with that. She needed him so much at this point. Hell, she needed him all the time. And she could count on him to be there. Even if she messed it up again.
The First had come to her that night, and she hadn’t even been scared. Being here in the basement with Spike, made everything seem so much clearer.
And she had a plan.
She was going to win.
************************************************************
Buffy was standing on her back porch, looking over the beautiful green garden, and thinking about what she was going to face one night from now.
They were going to end this, once and for all. They were going into the Hellmouth and face their enemies.
She wasn’t nearly as nervous as she though she would be. No matter what would happen, she knew she had tried everything she could in her power.
Spike was in the basement, playing with the amulet. His mind had been blank, till he had heard her coming down the stairs. He looked up, and tried to read the look on her face. The thing was, it was unreadable. He stood up from the bed and faced her.
She had come down the basement stairs to see him. She wanted too, without reason or logic. She just needed to be with him; because he was her……He was in her heart.
If he had asked why she was there, she couldn’t have explained.
But he didn’t ask her. He never made it harder than it had to be.
“Buffy.”
Goosebumps on her skin.
“Spike.”
A shiver down his spine.
She saw the passion and love in his beautiful eyes, as she always could when he looked at her. Emotions filled her: Emotions she had never felt this strong before.
As he stood there, looking like a Greek god, a vulnerable poet and just a man all at once, she could not contain the feelings she had hold back the minute she had found him in the basement of Sunnydale High.
She wanted to take care of him, and make him feel loved as he deserved. As she wanted to be loved by him since that same day as well. Just like she deserved.
He had read it in her eyes. There was no need for words as she had walked over to him.
As there lips met once again and their hand caressed each other in a way that was so intense they could never have imagined it possible, she realized one thing. One thing that, all of a sudden, felt more natural to her then anything in the word.
She loved him.
*I know, I know. I promised a more juicy part. But as you can see we are getting very close to that, so don’t worry. There is just so much to write =P*