Chapter 5

A small manicured finger traced patterns on his chest, staring at something that obviously he couldn’t see. He felt tears fall down to his belly, where she sat. Her breathing was choked, and what little he could see of her face was flushed. She was crying.

His big, bad Buffy was crying for him.

She looked up at him and smiled, “William?” She asked.

He jumped up and back, startled. Grabbing for purchase on the wall behind him, he was shaking, almost too much. “Okay, now Slayer, I think its time that we go to bed. Can’t you just, I don’t know, go over there and lie down? Not look at me? Can’t we gouge your eyes out or something?”

She sniffled and wiped at her nose, still smiling. “I want to know what you are.” She sounded astonished, like she had just seen the most wonderful thing in the world and it was him.

He was scared. There was nothing on the inside that he wanted to share with her. What he was, what he is, and what he was to become was all poison to her. She didn’t need to know any of it. “No one, nothing! Sod it, Slayer, go to bed! Forget whatever it was that you saw!”

Her hand reached out, and without touching him, splayed itself once more over his heart. “I see you. You’re pure—I mean you are, not your demon, but you , you’re pure. What’s inside there? I see the words coming out, pouring out, with no where to go.” She yanked her hand back and started to back away from him. “I’ll go to bed. Don’t leave me cause you’re spooked, ‘kay?”

He nodded his agreement and inched his way to his bed and laid down, pants on. Buffy made it to the bed and blew out the candles. In a small voice she called out, “Night, Spike.”

His volley was muffled. “Slayer.”

They both didn’t sleep much.


Buffy woke to being stared out by two witches and a Watcher. No creepy things were seen. She sat up, stretching. “Hey guys, whatcha doin’ here?”

Willow smiled kindly. “We came to fix you. Are you fixed? I’m not all creepy, scary me am I?”

“No, Will. You’re just you.”

“Well, we found a Denedi demon last night and took him down while you were here. Fortunately, Spike came to the rescue and helped us get the things we needed, so we came back here and while you were sleeping, we rubbed some of the blood on your arms and legs. Presto, no more craziness.” She sat back a little when she was finished.

Buffy leaned around them to look at Spike. He was facing the wall of the cavern, his form deathly still. Claw marks covered his torso, as well as some purplish bruises. “So you rubbed me down with this stuff, now what happens? I mean, some of the things that I saw were not of the good, and they included most everyone I know, so I mean shouldn’t we try to figure that stuff out? Isn’t that important?”

Giles spoke up. “Now, Buffy, we know that the blood caused you to see things the way they actually were, so it would be safe to assume that they were prefabricated emanations that would cause the bearer to see the good as well as the bad of the person in question.” He sat there smugly.

“Okay, way too early for that. Care to explain that a little for me?”

He sighed, “What I mean to say is, apparently, you saw the inside of everyone. The things the tend to hide from everyone else. Everyone has something deep and dark that normally they wouldn’t want someone else to know, and you say the best and the worst of everyone.”

“That soooo does not explain the thing with Mom. I say we do a little more research.”

Everyone looked around. Giles raised his hand, “I’ll call Xander and Anya, get them together to help out. I suppose we’ll meet back at my flat?” They all shook their heads. “Good. See you then.” He went to the ladder to climb up.

Willow turned to Buffy and smiled. “I’m so sorry that I freaked you out. Aren’t you glad to be back to normal anyway?”

“Yeah, thanks, Will.” She turned to grab her clothes and go down the cavernous caves for a quick shower. “Meet up with you in a little bit, guys.” She called over her shoulder.

Both girls headed out. Hearing them leave Buffy turned around and placed her clothes on the bed as she walked toward Spike. She sat down, Indian-style. She stared at him, wondering what a paradox he was. In life, he must have been beautiful. In death, he fought both sides of himself. Kinda like Angel, she thought, only without that soul of his. She rested her head on her hands and sighed.

He’d always been cute. Hell, the first time she saw him, she felt horrible for thinking so. He had the most beautiful eyes, soul-searching and able to drag you down to their depths at any moment. Cheekbones, God, they were nice. She stopped her daydreaming, and almost wished for herself to be cursed with that Dundee shit again.

She must have been thinking for longer than she realized, because the next thing she saw was Spike’s eyes open and staring back into hers. “Can I help you, Slayer?”

She sat for a moment, thinking. “Did you help them because I scared you?”

He sat up a little and reached around, feeling for his smokes. “Nah, couldn’t sleep and they came to see if I was up for it. Thought it may help me rest better. How’re you feelin’?”

She didn’t answer, she just stared at him.

“Slayer.”

“Spike.”

“I said, are you feelin’ better?” He lit one of the cigarettes.

“I liked seeing you that way. You guys should have asked me.”

“I had no choice, pet. Your Scoobies made the decision for me.”

Her face pinched. “I saw you, you know. I know what’s in there.”

He sat up fully then. “What you saw, Buffy, was what the spell wanted you to see, nothing more.” He stood up and walked away from her.

“Why don’t you want me to know?” She sounded anxious.

“Nothing to know, luv. Now, if you don’t mind, I got to see about a shower and a massage. My back hurts something awful, and I know of a girl who’ll do it in exchange for some things.” He grabbed some clothes and started walking into the caves. “Go home. See your mum.”

She watched him walk away, silently swearing that this wasn’t over. Then she too, left.





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