Author's Chapter Notes:
Here's the first chapter, hope you like it. Don't worry, we'll get to the Spuffy part soon (just keep reading!)
I don't own any of the characters.
Thanks to Nichole for all her help.
Chapter one


Sunnydale, October 2002


He was home. Sunnydale. Finally. Spike breathed in the air and raised his face to the sun. He would never get sick of this. He had forgotten how good it could feel to just stand in the sun and let it touch your face. After all, it had been 120 years since last time, not counting that little adventure with the Gem of Amara. Which made him think of Buffy. Although, that didn’t say much, since everything made him think of Buffy. She was everywhere. He opened the door to his crypt and went inside.

“Clem? You there?” No answer. He was probably out playing kitten poker or something. Didn’t matter. He wasn’t the one Spike wanted to see right now.

He left the crypt again and was about to head for the street when a familiar voice reached him. He turned and saw a girl kneeling at a grave about ten feet from the crypt. It was Dawn.

*****

Dawn touched the tomb stone before putting the flowers in the vase.

“Hi.” She said, sure that wherever she was, Buffy was listening.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been by this week. It’s all been so hectic. School’s picking up, a lot of tests and papers and stuff. You know what sophomore year is like.”

She laughed a little. “And Giles brought that Slayer girl a couple of days ago. Her name’s Kennedy, she seems OK. She’s obviously gay, hitting on Willow all the time. Not that that’s gonna get her anywhere. Willow and Tara are happy. Willow’s started talking about med school. She’s graduating in the spring, you know. I think she would make a great doctor. Xander and Anya got back from their honeymoon yesterday. I’m so glad they finally got back together, and they seem so happy. I wish you could’ve been at the wedding. It was beautiful.”

*****

Spike watched her for a while, listening to every word. Did Joyce’s grave use to be here? He did’t think so, but maybe...he took a step closer to Dawn, not wanting to disturb her, but she obviously heard him, because she stopped talking and turned her head to see who was behind her.

“Spike? Oh my God!” She got up and threw herself at him, almost knocking him off his feet. “Where have you been? I’ve missed you so much!”

“Dawn... you’re squeezing me kinda hard there... could you let go, just a little?” He pulled back a little from her.

She let him go, took a step back and stared at him. Something was different...

“You talking to your Mum?” He asked.

Oh, God...she thought. He doesn’t know.

“Ehhh, yeah. Let’s go somewhere else, OK?” She started pulling him away from the grave, not wanting him to find out that way, but he didn’t move.

“I don’t remember her grave being here, though...” He took a step closer to the tomb stone, trying to make out the inscription. “Who were you talking to?”

“No-one.” She tried to pull him away from the grave, but he shook her off and took a few steps closer. And stopped dead in his tracks.

“No.... no.... it’s not... is it? Dawn, say it’s not, please!” But she didn’t say anything, and he knew, somewhere deep down, that there was nothing she could say. He dropped to his knees next to the tomb stone, not being able to hold his own weight. He hadn’t thought that anything could ever hurt more than it had to see her lying on the concrete ground under Glory’s tower, trying to tell himself that she was OK, just sleeping, but knowing that she wasn’t. He had been wrong. He let his eyes run over the tomb stone, taking in the words but not really seeing them.

Buffy Anne Summers
1981-2002
Devoted friend
Beloved sister and daughter
Love

He traced her name with his fingers, then the last word “love”. They had let him be a part of this one, not like the last. He smiled through the tears.

“I chose the text.” He heard Dawn behind him. “Xander put up a fight, of course, but the others agreed with me. Even Giles.” She was right behind him now. “I think she would have wanted it there...”

He didn’t hear her, the entire world had fallen away around him, and all that was left was the pain. He sat there for what seemed like an eternity. He went over every single memory he had of her, the good and the bad, moments of pain and moments of pleasure. When he got to the last time he’d seen her, that night outside the Magic Box, he touched the stone once again.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered the words so only Buffy could hear, they were for her alone. Then he got up and turned to Dawn. She had tears in her eyes too.

“It’s been five months today. Last time she was back by now. She’s not coming back this time. I know that. I just can’t help but hope, you know?” She looked him in the eyes and smiled. “Hey. I just realized, it’s daylight and you’re not a pile of dust. What did you do?”

They started walking from the grave, trying to get into some sort of normal behavior.

“I went to Africa, saw a legend, had a wish granted.” He turned back to look at the tomb stone. “If I’d know what had happened... I would have made a different wish.”

“So you’re what? Human?” Dawn opened the gate to the cemetery and walked through it.

“Yeah. Much good it did me.” Spike looked back one last time before following Dawn out onto the street.

They walked in silence for a while, both of them knowing where they were going. When they were a couple of blocks away from the house he asked the question she’d been waiting for.

“What was it? Vampire?”

“No.” She shook her head.

“Demon?”

“No. You remember that robot guy, Warren? He wanted to get back at Buffy for stopping his little bank robbery, so he got a gun and he...” She couldn’t finish the sentence. “Buffy and Xander were in the backyard when he...”

“Where is he now?” Spike’s words were little more than an animal growl, and Dawn knew what he was thinking.

“He’s in prison. Life without any possibility of parole, thanks to the Watcher’s Council...” She glanced at him. “Please don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“You know what I mean... don’t go looking for him, don’t get yourself killed trying to kill him. You’re not immortal anymore, and I can’t loose anyone else right now. Please?” He could hear the pain in her voice, and it somehow lessened his anger.

“I won’t. Just wish... I’d have been there, you know?”

“I know. Me too.”

They had reached the front door of the Summers house now, and Dawn opened it. Voices were heard from the kitchen.

“It seems like everyone’s here.” Dawn headed for the kitchen. Spike hesitated in the doorway. Dawn turned back. “Well, come on.” He followed her through the house.

*****

Willow, Tara, Giles, Xander and Anya were in the kitchen, arguing about dinner. Nobody wanted to cook, and they couldn’t agree on what to order. By the time Dawn ana Spike entered the kitchen they had the choices down to pizza or Chinese.

“Hey, Dawn, help us out here. We can’t decide whether to get pizza or...” Xander turned and saw Spike. “... Spike...”

“No, Xander. Pizza or Chinese not...” Anya turned around too. “... Spike? What are you doing here? And where’s your blanket?”

“My what?” Spike gave Anya a confused look.

“Blanket. You know, with the sun.”

“Oh. Don’t need it anymore.” He wasn’t in the mood to explain.

“I found him at the cemetery. In daylight!” Dawn was pouring orange juice in a glass.

“Daylight? Hello, vampire. That’s not possible.” It was Willows turn to look confused. Tara was the first to understand.

“You’re human? How?”

When Spike seemed to ignore the question, Dawn explained.

“He went to see some demon in Africa and kinda won it back.” Dawn took a sip of her juice. Spike couldn’t take everyone staring at him, so he went into the living room. The gang in the kitchen stared after him.

“I think he wants to be alone.” Dawn looked down on the table. “He... he saw the grave. He took it pretty hard.”

“Dear Lord.” For the first time since Dawn and Spike had come in the house, Giles spoke. “He managed to get his humanity back, for her I presume, and then finds this? I actually feel bad for him... I’m losing my touch.”

“Yes, that must be it. It can’t be just normal humanity, now can it?” Anya got up to get the phone.

“Um, An, honey, forgetting something here? Humanity only applies to humans.”

“Um, Xander, honey, forgetting something here? You heard Dawn. He’s human now, so I’d say that calls for some humanity.”

Xander looked beaten. “I think you should have to have been human for at least a year before you get the benefits. “

“Guys, can we just give him a break?” Dawn looked around at everybody. “He went to Africa and got his humanity. He didn’t tell me exactly how, but I’m guessing he had to do a little more than ask nicely. And now this. “ She paused for a moment. “I want him to stay here.”

“Dawn, you’re not searious, are you?” Xander stared at her. “This is still Spike we’re talking about.”

“No, it’s not, don’t you see that?” Dawn was mad now. “You didn’t see him at the cemetery. It was... I don’t know, I think he kinda tuned out, I couldn’t reach him... he just sat there for over an hour, crying... I’ve never seen him like that before, not even after... Glory.”

“I think it’s a good idea for him to stay here.” Giles surprised everyone when he said that, but no-one disagreed. “I mean, it must be up to the two of you in the end.” He indicated Willow and Tara. “You are the ones who live here, so naturally you will get the last say.”

“I don’t mind having him here.” Tara looked at Willow. “Do you?”

“No. I think he should stay here, at least until he can get, you know, a job and everything. Which might be a little hard, considering he doesn’t have an identity or anything.” Willow gave Tara’s hand a squeeze.

“I think I might be able to do something about that.” Giles took the phone from Anya and dialed number. “Yes, Quentin, hello... Yes I realize it’s the middle of night over there, but I need a favor... Yes...Yes... Quentin, please this is important... Well, it concerns... actually, it concerns William the Bloody... yes, the vampire, but he’s not... Yes, I understand that this is against Council policy, but I’m asking you as a personal favor... He needs papers, and an identity... Because he’s been dead for a hundred and twenty bloody years, what do you think... Great... I’ll get some pictures tomorrow and send them to you... Thank you.” He hung up the phone. “Done.”

“That was fast.” Dawn looked impressed.

“I do still have some contacts, you know. I’m not completely cut off.” Giles put the phone down on the counter.

“He just agreed to do it? Just like that? That doesn’t sound like the Quentin we all know and despise.” Xander picked up the phone and finally ordered the food.

“I’ll need to get some photographs, for the papers. Dawn, maybe you should talk to him first?” Giles nodded against where Spike had disappeared.

“OK.” Dawn got up and left the kitchen. She found Spike upstairs, in Buffy’s old bedroom sitting on the bed. They hadn’t changed anything in there, and she found him holding one of Buffy’s sweaters to his chest.

“Hey.” He twitched when he heard her voice, but didn’t look up.

“Didn’t hear you. What’s going on in the land of the Scoobies?” He put down the sweater on the bed and looked at her.

“You’re staying here. And Giles got that Quentin guy to get you papers, identity stuff you know.” She sat down on the bed next to him.

“Giles? Giles is helping me? The Scoobies OK with this?” Dawn laughed at the disbelief in his voice.

“Sure. Xander wasn’t too pleased, but I think Anya will put him in his place. He’s still upset about... you know...” Dawn looked down.

“Yeah. God, I regret that. That was the last night I... saw her... ever... I didn’t want it to end like that.” He picked up a photo of Buffy and Dawn from the bedside table.

“I think she forgave you. I know everyone else has. Except for Xander, of course.” Dawn got up from the bed. “I just wanted to tell you the good news. The pizza will be here in a little while, if you’re hungry.” She walked out the door. “Oh, and if you want, you can have this room. No-one’s using it, so...”

She turned and went down the stairs, leaving Spike with nothing but memories.





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