Chapter Eleven
Buffy’s PoV
“What’s the matter, Buff?” Without moving my head from against the window I grunt in response. “Oh, come on. We’re nearly there and you haven’t said a word since we left.” Why didn’t he insist on coming? I mean, sure, I told him not to… repeatedly. “You can only ask so much from a guy. He offered and you told him no. In those horrible romance novels you girls tend to read, that might be an invitation to throw you over his shoulder and bring you anyway. However, in this world that equals a restraining order. So cut him some slack.”
I let out a sigh and sit up straight. “I know. You’re right, Xander. I just… I don’t know.” And I really don’t. I don’t know why I told him not to come. I know that things would most definitely be easier if he was here with me. When I told him that I hadn’t spoken to my parents in years, he didn’t understand. He kept saying that he would love to be able to talk to his mother again and that he’d never get the chance. He didn’t understand how I could lose a parent and not be a mess. Even though he never forced the subject after that, I couldn’t help but wonder if there is something wrong with me. Should it be a life altering event for me?
“Well, Buff, we’re here.” Xander announces and parks the car on the side of the road in front of my childhood home. Nothing has changed since I left. “Going to go in, or are you camping out in my car? Because, I must say that I don’t believe that’s healthy for the baby.”
“I’m going. See? Watch me go.” My hand is holding onto the door handle.
Xander gets out of the car and walks around to open my door for me. Before he pulls it open I quickly slam my hand down on the lock.
“Buffy? Come on. Rip off the band-aid.”
“No! The band-aid is just fine, thank you.” His shoulders droop and he takes his keys out of his pocket. He presses a button on the key ring and the doors unlock. Opening the door, he holds out his hand. The cooler air rushes into the car and I shiver. It was beautiful last night, how could the weather change so much overnight?
Completely avoiding his hand, I get out of the car and stomp my way to the door. Even as I’m knocking I keep telling myself this was a mistake. Just as my hand is about to connect with the door for the third time the door swings open. Instead of seeing Mom, I get Dawn with a scowl on her face.
“Wow, Dawnie you got so big.” Her hair is longer and her features just a little more grown up. She’s no longer the little sister that I remember leaving behind. Even though she’s grown in height her attitude is still the same.
“You got fat.” Her comment makes my face tighten and my eyes squint as I glare at her.
“Pregnant, Dawn. There’s a difference.” My hand rubs my stomach defensively.
“Is there? Really? Whatever.” Dawn backs up from the door and yells. “Mom! Buffy’s here and all knocked up!” My eyes widen and Dawn smirks before leaving.
With the speed and excitement only a new grandmother can possess my mother comes running down the stairs to see for herself. She takes a moment to look at me then fixes her gaze behind me. Her arms outstretched, she rushes right past me.
“Good for you Xander! I knew you two would eventually hit it off! Oh, you were so in love with her in high school.” What an ice breaker. I open my mouth to correct her but just laugh and head inside, leaving a flustered Xander behind me.
Spike’s POV
“Dru? I don’t have time to deal with this.” I roll my eyes at her.
“I’m quite serious, William.” She glares at me and forces her way into the house. “I would never joke about such a matter. I’m just a firm believer that a child should know their both of their parents.” Pulling her gloves off of her hands she tucks them into her pocket.
“Say you really are pregnant; I’m just supposed to believe that it’s mine?”
“I thought you’d be ecstatic to know you were going to be a father!” Her tone is a tad sarcastic and it hits me. She knows. Is it that obvious?
“Great! So you know that Buffy is carrying my child. Good for you! We’ll let the lawyers sort everything out since you weren’t the only person who cheated! Will you end this charade? You and I both know you’re not the maternal type.”
“I’m still serious. I’ll prove it to you.” She takes out an envelope and hands it to me. “The divorce is final, William. You now have no further obligation to me. See? I’m not a bad person. Now, ask yourself why I would continue with the divorce if I truly wanted to trap you with a child? I’m here for the baby, not me.”
Quickly scanning the document I remain silent. Sure enough, she signed the papers. I zip the envelope into my bag and cross my arms looking at Drusilla. What’s her angle?
“I want a paternity test.”
Not skipping a beat, she pulls out another envelope. “Did you make Sunshine do this?”
Snatching the item out of her hand, I grind my teeth to avoid yelling. “She’s not like that. She’s not like you. I don’t have to doubt her.” Looking at the document I feel nauseous. My name is bolded with the word ‘Match’ next to it. I feel my world completely crumbling around me. “No. No, this can’t be real. How far along are you? No, you know what? Bugger this. I want another test, from the place of my choosing.” My anger at the situation boils over and I find myself fuming in front of Dru. My finger pointed at her, less than an inch from her face I slowly warn, “If you breathe a word of this to anyone, and I do mean anyone, you will pay.” Her eyes widen in surprise and it takes every ounce of strength I have not to hurt her.
“Such fire. That’s where my Spike went.” She makes a playful bite towards my face and grins.
I flex my fingers at my sides for a second before opening the door. She exits but turns around to say something else. I don’t listen, and I slam the door in her face. I crumple the slip of paper in my hand and toss it into the small trash bin in the corner.
Pacing. It’s what I do. How do I handle this? She signed the papers, she agreed to a test. Is it possible? I scramble to think of my last encounter with the bint and slam my hand into the wall. The wall crumbles a bit where I punched it. A few months ago, after Elizabeth had left, I returned to the night club. I always hoped I’d see her. The bird drove me crazy from just that one meeting, and I went every weekend for three months. Waiting for Elizabeth. Dru was just a moment of weakness. One very bad moment.
I curse any Gods that there might be. What a wonderful turn of events? I spend years trying to make a relationship with a crazy woman work. Now in only a matter of months that miserable existence was turned upside down and I became happy. Buffy made me happy. The situation isn’t ideal, but I fell for the girl. Fell right into a nice, normal, existence.
Buffy made me a happy man, and she deserves to be as happy as possible. I know how to make this work. It has to. I can’t ruin her by bringing Drusilla into her life any more than she already is.
I take one last look around the house that Buffy has made a home and grab my bag. With any luck I won’t have to come back here. We can leave it behind.
The drive to Buffy’s old home takes longer than it should have. I was in such a rush to make this right I never took down directions. A call to my father’s office and I had rough directions to point me to the town. So far the ride has only given me a leg cramp, a ticket for speeding, and a gut full of doubt.
It’s just after dark when I arrive. A single light is on in the house and the curtains are drawn to either side of the window. It reveals a perfectly normal scene and it makes me rage and ache at the same time.
Four people sitting around a table with prepared food assembled in the center. Everyone is laughing and seemingly enjoying themselves. Even Buffy, she was so nervous about returning and yet here she is having a right jolly time. It’s the most wonderful feeling, seeing Buffy so happy in a situation she dreaded less than twenty four hours ago. I can imagine her laughter, the beautiful sound that I’ve been privy to only recently.
I’ll admit it, I am a jealous man. I would suppose that much is obvious to anyone around me. I don’t get jealous over much. Just Buffy, but isn’t she the exception to any rule? So, when I see her touching Xander’s arm as she throws back her head and laughs, it’s enough to make me want to roar. I’m not a complete git, I know Anya would have his jewels if she even suspected anything between them. I still don’t have to like it. I offered to be in his position. I wanted to be the one to hold her if things didn’t go right. I would have held her close, whispered into those silky golden locks. She said, “no.”
Dru’s newest game has me on edge. I’m not inclined to believe a word she says, but I can’t risk losing Buffy. I’ve had that taste of paradise, and I’ll be damned if I’m cast back into the hell that is Drusilla. It has brought me into this desperate move, tossing common sense aside, I knock on the door. The laughter inside dies down and the door swings open.
The young teen who looked so miserable in the other room answers with an attitude. “And you would be?”
“Spike?” Buffy steps into view. She’s still dressed in black, from the wake, no doubt. She’s always dressed in vibrant colors. “What are you doing here?” Her tone shows her surprise. “Dawn, give us a minute, please.” Dawn backs away into the other room, mumbling. “Come on in, Spike.”
My heart is in my throat and I shake my head. “No, I just need to say it.” Her brow creases in confusion. “Look, Buffy. I know that I am not a perfect man. I will never claim to be otherwise. I have made mistakes, and I will make them in the future, just not necessarily concerning you. That is unless if you count me not stopping you from leaving that first morning. Hell, I may even be making a mistake now. You need to understand, these past few months, I haven’t been myself.
I am not a happy person. I don’t buy flowers to decorate my house. I don’t eat at a family restaurant when there is a world renowned chef just across the street. That is just not who I am. Yet every time I find myself doing something out of character, it is for you. Buffy, you make me a different man, a man that I even like being. God, help me I love the thought of sitting next to you on the couch and listening to the ridiculous answers that you give to an even more ridiculous game show.”
All of this makes her face blush red. Raising my hand, I cup her cheek. “Don’t blush, I love those answers. Buffy, the point is that I love you. I love the man you make me, and waking up with you in my arms, no matter the uncomfortable position, has put me on top of the world.”
“Spike-“ Her voice cracks, “I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you will marry me. Say you will marry me and we can move somewhere and start over. Say that you will do me the biggest honor and marry me.”
She is frozen in place, but I hear a female gasp. I don’t chance a look away, but I assume it’s her mother. “So, that’s how you’re supposed to do it.” Xander comments, and I smile. Good, that means I’m doing it right.
“Buffy? Please, love. Please let me do this right by you and our baby.” Even to my ears it sounds like I am pleading.
She remains silent but her lower lip trembles as hot tears trickle down her cheeks. I wipe the wetness from her face and kiss her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, and when she lets out a sigh, even her lips. Between each kiss I whisper a, “Please.”
“Buffy? Elizabeth?”
“Spike-“ She starts and I move my head back so that I can look at her. “Spike, I can’t.” My hands fall to my sides and I back away from her. “I’m sorry.”
With that, I leave. As I open my door with enough force to tear the bloody door right off, I can hear Buffy sobbing and calling my name.
“Spike! Let me explain!”
I don’t turn back.
_______________________
Don't worry, we'll find out her reasons in the next chapter!
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Author's Chapter Notes:
I know, long time coming. However, I had to make Spike say A LOT. It was tough to put it together and it took me an even longer time put it together in a way that I liked. I hope you enjoy! As always, feedback is absolutely adored!