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Author's Chapter Notes:
Hope you like it. Let me know if you want more.
I don't own any of the charactres.
Thanks to my beta, Nichole!
One


“No, Angel! Don’t go! Please don’t leave me!” She was crying now, but she didn’t care. Angel turned and looked at her, Connor in his arms and a small smile on his lips.

“We have to go, you know that. This world isn’t ours anymore.” He was walking backwards away from her, and no matter how hard she tried to follow them, they seemed to just get farther and farther away.

“Then let me go with you! Please, I can’t loose you again!” She was desperate, but he kept smiling that smile, his ‘everything-will-be-OK’ smile. It always calmed her, but not this time.

“You can’t, I’m sorry. You still have things to do here.” They were disappearing into the darkness now, and she couldn’t follow.

“NO!”



“NO!” Elizabeth was awoken by her own scream. For a moment she didn’t know where she was. Where was Angel? What was this place? Where was her son? She looked around in the pale moonlight, and slowly her surroundings started to make sense. She looked at her alarm clock. 5.00 A.M. She sighed. Four hours since she was finally able to go to sleep.

She pushed the covers aside and got up. Even if she hadn’t slept much, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep, she never could. She made her way to the bathroom. She didn’t have to be at work for another five hours, but she might as well get something done now that she was awake anyway. She needed to clean and go grocery shopping before the weekend, now was as good a time as any.

She turned the shower on and got out of her pajamas while she waited for the water to get warm. She felt a crack in her neck as she pulled the top of and massaged the aching body part. She knew it would always hurt, the doctor had made that clear. Whiplash injuries didn’t heal.

She turned to the mirror to look at herself. Tears came to her eyes when they reached the two bullet shaped scars below her right shoulder and traveled further down to the long, red line on her stomach and the burn scar on her left thigh. She knew she had gotten away easily, physically. Most of her scars were on the inside, for no-one to see. She had made sure of that. She gave her neck one last rub before stepping into the shower, letting the water wash some of the pain away.

Elizabeth left her apartment at 9.30. Usually, it only took her about ten minutes to walk to the diner where she worked, but it had been snowing all night and the streets of New York were almost impassable. She had gotten the job two weeks after she moved to New York. After spending a week in her apartment, she had realized she had to get a job. It wasn’t like she needed the money – it was the distraction she was after. The staff at the diner were like a big family and they had tried to get her to join them for different activities in the beginning, but had soon given up. She didn’t let anyone in, that only led to pain.

Now, five years later, the world she had so carefully built for herself had been disrupted. Two months earlier, her boss had announced that he had sold the diner, introducing the new owner, a Mr. Rupert Giles. He had seemed nice enough, talked to the staff and explained the changes he was planning on making. Everyone had assumed that he would be the manager, like Mr. Johnson had been, but a week later they had been introduced to his son William, or Spike, like he wanted them to call him, who was going to run the diner for his father.

After he had introduced himself, he asked them to do the same. He kept eye contact with the person who was talking, and when it became her turn, Elizabeth could feel his eyes upon her. She tried to avoid eye contact, but it was like his eyes drew her in. Finally, she gave in and their eyes met. She could almost feel the electricity spark between them. She had fallen right then and there, not being able to hold back no matter how hard she tried. What she didn’t know, was that so had he.

*****

Elizabeth glanced at the clock. 3.45, only fifteen minutes left of her shift. She sighed in relief and placed her order to the chef just as Spike entered the diner from the office behind the kitchen. As always when she saw him, her heart skipped a beat.

“Elizabeth, could I have a minute?” Elizabeth looked up, frowning.

“Sure.” He held the door to his office open for her and pointed to the chair opposite his own. They both sat down.

“I’m having a bit of a problem, that I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me with.” He kept eye contact while he talked to her. “Sheila called a couple of minutes ago, and her daughter’s sick, so she won’t be able to work today. Could you take her shift?”

“What, another six hours? Can’t anyone else do it?” Elizabeth really didn’t want to be stuck here the rest of the afternoon and night.

“I’m sorry to say, but no. Beth, Lisa and Kelly are sick, and Sarah has the day off. You’re the only one who’s not working already.” He gave her what she could only describe as puppy dog eyes. “Please?” She gave in, unable to resist those eyes. It wasn’t like she had anything better to do anyway. Maybe she would be able to sleep without the nightmares tonight if she was completely exhausted.

“Fine. But I didn’t bring any food, so...”

“No problem, order anything you want. And I’ll make it up to you, a day off, maybe, Christmas? Spend some time with your family?” Elizabeth quickly looked away so he wouldn’t see the pain in her eyes.

“No, that’s OK. I always work Christmas, I really don’t mind.” She got up and went back to the front of the diner.

Spike watched Elizabeth leave his office. That woman was a mystery, one that he was very eager to solve. She was young, beautiful, and smart. She wore a ring that looked very much like a wedding ring in a chain around her neck, but he had never seen her with a man. When he thought about it, he had never seen her with anyone. She never went out with the rest of the staff; he never saw her chatting with the other girls during breaks. She was quiet and kept to herself. A couple of times he had caught her off guard and he was sure he’d seen a sadness and pain beyond anything he’d ever experienced in her eyes. What could have happened in her young life to make her hurt so? He was determined to find out, even if he wasn’t sure how to do that. ‘I’ll find a way’ he thought to himself as he turned back to his work.

*****

Elizabeth looked up when the door to the diner opened. A man in his thirties came in with a little boy; he looked about two, and sat down at one of her tables. She grabbed one of the coffee pots and approached the table, smiling at the little boy.

“What can I get you?” The man looked at the menu.

“I’ll have coffee and the cherry pie... what do you want, kiddo?” The little boy clapped his hands together and gave the man a big smile.

“Ice ceam, ice ceam!!” The man turned to Elizabeth, but she didn’t hear a word he said.



“Connor, what do you want?” Angel picked up the little boy so he could see over the counter at the Sunnydale Diner.

“Ice ceam ice ceam, dada!!”



Elizabeth was pulled out of the flashback by the sound of the coffee pot breaking against the floor. She looked at her hands, they were shaking.

“I... I’m sorry, I... sorry...” She mumbled to the man before turning on her heal and practically running into the room next to the back office that they used as a changing/break room, not noticing Spike, who she almost bumped into on the way. She sat down on the bench across the back wall and put her head in her hands, letting the tears roll down her face.

*****

Spike was interrupted in his work by the sound of glass breaking in the diner. He quickly left his office, almost being run down by Elizabeth who was running into the other room. Spike considered following her to see what was wrong, but decided to check on the commotion in the diner first.

“What happened here?” He asked Diane, one of the older waitresses, who was cleaning up something of the floor. She looked up at his words.

“Elizabeth had some sort of attack, or something. Just dropped the coffee Pot and ran from the room. Don’t know what got into her.” She returned to the mess on the floor. Spike turned to the man who was sitting at the table in question.

“I’m very sorry, sir, order anything you’d like, on the house.” He said before he went to find the waitress who had caused the problem.

He found her in the back room, head buried in her hands.

“Elizabeth?” She looked up at him, and at the sight of her tear drenched face, all the anger rolled off him. He crouched down in front of her. “What’s wrong?” She dried her face with the back of her hand.

“I’m sorry, I... the man with the little boy, they just reminded me of...” At the last moment, she decided to lie, not wanting to share her most painful memories with her boss. “...my dad. He died a couple of years ago, around Christmas.” At least it wasn’t a complete lie. Her father had died around Christmas, eight years ago.

“I’m sorry.” Spike gave her a sympathetic look. “Do you want me to drive you home? I don’t think you should work more today.” Elizabeth nodded.

Spike went back into the front of the diner, telling Gina, head waitress, that he was taking Elizabeth home and for her to lock up. He returned to the back room, took Elizabeth’s coat from her locker and helped her put it on before leading her through the back door and to his car that was parked in the alley behind the diner.

The only thing said during the car ride were Elizabeth directing Spike how to get to her place. When they got there, he parked by the curb, got out of the car and quickly walked around it to open the door for her. She gave him a small smile as thanks. He opened the door to her building for her, and she stopped on the sidewalk for a moment.

“You don’t have to come up with me. I’m fine, really.” He smiled at her.

“I know. I’m taking this as an excuse to see your place. If that’s OK.” He could see how she weighed her options.

“OK.” She went into the building and he followed. She led the way up two flights of stairs and stopped in front of apartment 205, rummaging through her purse for the key. Finally, she found it and opened the door, letting him enter first.

“Nice place.” He commented. She shut the door behind them and walked into the kitchen.

“I like it.” She put her keys on the table, and went over to the fridge. “Want something to drink?” She asked over her shoulder.

“Sure, whatever you’ve got.” He looked around the kitchen before walking through a vaulted opening and into a large living room. From the living room there were two doors, one of them leading to a bedroom in light colours, the other to a study where he could see a computer on a desk. ‘The girl obviously has money’ he thought. What was she doing working at the diner?

“Here you go.” Elizabeth came into the living room, handing him a soda. “Sorry, I don’t keep beer in the house.”

“That’s fine.” He accepted the soda with a smile. She sat down on the couch and motioned for him to do the same.

“Thanks... for before, I mean.” She said. “I don’t know why I got so upset.”

“Don’t worry about it, I know what it’s like.” At her questioning look, he continued. “My mother died when I was nine. I don’t remember her that well, but I’ll never forget the pain and grief. I still feel it sometimes, but not as often anymore. It gets better, trust me.” She nodded.

“I know. It’s just hard to believe sometimes.” She gave him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry about your mom.”

“Thanks.” He decided to lighten the mood a little. “So, how come you work at the diner?” He could tell the question took her by surprise.

“What do you mean?” She had the same look as a deer caught in a headlight.

“Just wondering, I know how much I pay you, and it’s not nearly enough to pay for this place.” He gestured at the apartment.

“Oh, right.” She seemed relieved. “My dad left me money; it’s enough to pay the rent and whatever I want. I got the job because I needed something to pass the time, got tired of just sitting around all day.”

“Oh, you’re a rich girl.” He joked.

“I guess you could say that.” He heard the defensiveness in her voice, and raised his hands in surrender.

“I didn’t mean it as an insult, just making an observation.”

“Oh. OK.” She looked down, and he could tell that she had shut him out. He got off the couch.

“I should probably get going, let you get some sleep.” She walked him to the door. He decided to give his impulse a go. “I was wondering if you’d like to have dinner tomorrow? With me, I mean?”

“OK.” He could see that she was surprised by her own answer, and decided to take off before she changed her mind. “Great, I’ll pick you up at seven. See you then.”

Elizabeth stood in the doorway long after he was gone, wondering what she had just gotten herself into.





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