Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks for all the good reviews. I just wanted to make a note while I've always wanted to write this is only the 3rd time I've wrote anything I let anyone read. First two were a different fandom and getting any reviews is great.

I am still looking into the problem in the first chapter I am only continueing to post sense I have these chapters posted on another site already just catching up :) I will fix the problem on both once I have a solution.

As far as a beta I wouldn't even know how to go about getting one and beings I'm not even sure if I will write anymore for this fandom after this story . I would hate to bother anyone with just one. Agian dont know a whole lot about them hehe.

Thanks agian
"You're really going back?" Buffy asked Willow as they waited in the Lobby for Willows ride. Willow nodded

"Well what would the new slayers do without me?" She laughed.

"True I don't know what I would of done without you." She said then hugged Willow. "Well if you must go please keep in touch and make sure to give all those girls at the academy a good lesson for me. "Fight the fight but don't forget who the good ones are and don't forget to tell them how this fight would of went without the vamps." She said and laughed Willow hugged her agian and got up and walked out the door. "Don't be to hard on him, Buff he does really love you." She turned, looked past Buffy and said before walking out the door. Buffy smiled and turned to see him standing behind her. Suddenly her face got angry and she walked past him.

"We need to talk luv." Spike said.

"Now we need to talk? You have been alive for months and now we need to talk? Don't think it works that way." She said in a huff and walked off.'Who does it think he is, demanding we talk.' He quickly followed her and put his arms around her from behind.

Whispering in her ear. "I'm sorry luv. I wanted to and I even tried that's when I found out my ghost form was stuck here." She turned to face him.

"Ghost form? Huh?"

"Ah no one filled you in?" He turned and led them to the seats in the waiting room and quickly explained to her about the ghost him and how he got back. She brushed her hand down his cheek. 'What am I doing, I'm still mad at him.'Quickly withdrew it and got up.

"But once you could leave you didn't come so it still doesn't work that way. I love you Spike but obviously you didn'tlove me enough." She said her back to him and then she left the room leaving him there. 'but I do more then I haveever loved anyone, oh why didn't I go to her?' he asked himself. 'Wait' his mind screamed at him, 'she said she loved you, and you weren't dieing. She loves you, you bloody git.' He got up and ran after her. He found her outside Angel office.

"You don't want to go in there, Pet."

"And why not?" She said turning towards him.

"Because you, bloody hell, because you love me and damn it just cause I didn't go find you doesn't mean I don't love you it means that I do and was well bugger I was scared, that..that you just push me away agian. And besides he moved on he is with some bloody werewolf now." He said nodding to Angel's office.

'Like I would actual go there again. I don't love Angel'"Your a dope, and a bonehead and your shirty." Reusing the words she had used shortly before he died on her.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean." Cracking a smile as he relived the moment.

"You didn't believe me.." Suddenly he began to glow and then fell to the ground knocked out. Buffy rushed to him pulling his upper body to her. "Why now, no." She sobbed Angel heard the crash and came running out of his office.

"What the..." he stopped as he seen her sitting there crying holding lifeless Spike in her arms. "What the hell is going on and why are you crying he is a vampire he is obviously not dead. err well not gone anyway." Buffy looked up as the words sunk in not gone, not dust. He didn't leave her again he just well .. She wasn't sure.

"What the hell is wrong then."

"Just my luck." Angel said with a sigh.

In the informatory Spike layed still lifeless on the table Buffy, Angel and the rest of the gang stood around as the doctor poke around Spike.

"Oh just check his damn pulse." Angel said frustrated. Everyone looked at him Gunn and Wes who was fully recovered now understood what he meant and got sad looks on their faces for Angel.

However Buffy and the doctor looked at Angel confused. "Angel have you lost your mind Spike's a vampire he doesn't have a pulse."

"Well if I'm correct he isn't a vampire any longer, therefor he will have a pulse and if he does then well know he will be fine just out of it for awhile." Angel said more calm now then before. Having worked it out with himself. Nina was a werewolf she would live forever also he couldn't go dieing on her and well Buffy as much as he hated to admit it was in love with Spike and human and would die on Spike eventually it only made sense that he should become human agian so they could be happy also. Sulking as he thought it. Spike won he gets to become human and he gets Buffy. The doctor gave in and checked Spikes pulse. Getting wide eyed he said. "He has one and its normal." Quickly checking his bp. "Normal." Buffy just stood there. 'Spike human. My Spike really alive.' She couldn't believe her ears. "Looks like Angel here was right, Spike is human and going to be just fine when he wakes up. Mind filling us in on why? As you obviously knew this would happen."

Angel filled them in on the story, Buffy still not saying a word. He walked over to her and shook her. "Snap out of it would you. You got what you wanted, Spike and your normal life is just around the corner, be happy. Only way I can take this is if you are happy." Angel said and then walked out of the room. To call Nina. Who was on a plane back home shortly after they hung up.

Buffy sat and watched Spike sleep for hours that day. Wondering what he would be like as human, wondering if he would still love her. About 8 hours after he fell he woke up slowly. Seeing Buffy setting next to him her head bowed in her hands and looking sad.

"What's wrong luv?" He asked making her jump up.

"Your awake!" She said throwing her arms around him.

"And here I thought I was still asleep." He said hugging her. "That doesn't explain why you were crying, vampire remember if i'm not dust I'm not gone." Buffy sat down on the bed next to him.

"I'm not sure how you are going take this, But I have to tell you something." He just nodded and waited. "Your not a vampire anymore Spike."

"Have you bloody lost your mind pet?"

"No you really aren't a vampire anymore."

"Well that's bloody great! That teach that know it all." Buffy smiled.

She hugged him 'I'm human, and here is my Buffy hugging me, holding me, loving me, my Slayer. Human a bloody human, I'm a bloody human.' His thoughts drifted 'But is that what I really want?' Thinking back to when he was human. 'I was a bloody pathetic human. Weak, stupid human. But he couldn't be that again could he?' 'Of course you can William the bloody awful poet, the bloody awful human.' his mind yelled back at him. 'How can I protect Buffy let alone love her the way she deserves as a bloody human?' Suddenly he pulled from her embrace and smiled softly at her.

"Everything OK?" She asked 'I don't know why I didn't realize before but now it doesn't matter. I know now and here we are.' "I love you." she said when Spike didn't speak.

"I love you too." Spike said. 'Bloody hell, shes beautiful.' Gently he kissed her, held her in his arms. Great, I really am a ponce. The old Spike would of had her halfway undressed by now and what am I doing? Just holding her.'

Before she could give it much thought she had increased the intensity of the kiss, more passionate, bringing their bodies closer. "I need you Spike." she whispered before tearing at his clothes.

AN: It's Spuffy cant be that easy now can it? :)





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