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Author's Chapter Notes:
This series is meant to explain everything that happened between the time everyone was crying for the Buffster and till she was brought back.

Also this is my first fic so if it's different than my newer stuff that's why.
Part six of the series
Summer in Sunnydale

**Talk Soup**

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the characters used in this story. I'm just using them for entertainment cause I'm an obsessed freak! They belong to UPN, FOX, Mutant Enemy, and the wonderfully talented Joss Wheedon whom I love and adore! The song "Time Like These" is by The Foo Fighters and is being used w/o permission. Rummy is not something I made up neither are the three stooges or any other pop cultural icons so please don’t sue! Pier One does not belong to me either. Oh and I do not intend any racial, ethnical or cultural slurs in this! I love everybody so I’m not picking on anyone in this opening scene!


Ships: Not really that shippy mostly goes along with the story line but I'll list the ships anyway just so everyone is clear. Spike/Buffy, Willow/Tara, and Xander/Anya. Everyone else is pretty much on their own.

Spoilers: Through "The Gift" the season five finale. Some references to things said in season six, but none are really spoilery.

Feedback: Please tell me what you think about both the story and the series.
You can reach me at msbigbad@msn.com or msbigbad17@yahoo.com -- or join my site at www.groups.yahoo.com/group/bigbadhavens .

Note: This series is meant to explain everything that happened between the time everyone was crying for the Buffster and till she was brought back.

Summary: Some naughty knock knock jokes and rummy playage are not even the biggest things that happen in this fic! Giles actually uses a computer!!!!! in this conclusion to the Summer In Sunnydale series.

Thanks: I want to thank my best friend Lauren for giving me the strength to finish this series. Also she gets credit for making me a dedicated watcher of the show!!! So lots of luvs to her! Mwahhh! Heather for making me laugh and keep some humor in my fics! I also want to thank the cast, crew, writers, producers, and everyone else affiliated with the show! Thanks for making it the best damn hour of television ever. Especially James Marsters, which anyone who knows me can tell you that I am beyond obsessed with! He's a great actor, writer, and person!! Thanks to everyone who archives/reviews my fics!I appreciate you! Send me more as I go! You keep my drive to write going! Last and most defiantly not least I wanna thank you for reading! Especially if you read through all of this crap that I usually don't read!! Lot's of love to ya! Enjoy! Mwahhh!!!

*********************************************************************

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a one way motorway
I’m the one that drives away
Then follows you back home
I am a streetlight shining
I’m a wild light blinding bright
Burning off alone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“And in local news, The Pier One Imports store on 14th street was burglarized late last night. Around 4 a.m. this morning police say an Afro-American male, 7’3 and a white male, 3’5 were seen looting the popular furniture store.”

“Right.” He chuckled. “Did you here that bit? We’re a bunch of circus freaks!”

“But who’s who? I vote I’m the large black man and you are the little midgit.” She teased him.

“Hey! I am not short!” He protested.

“Spike, I’m 15 you’re 15 hundred and I’m a whole foot taller than you!”

“Are not!” He said stomping his foot hard on the ground.

She stood directly in front of him and measured with her hand. By her calculations( which were a bit off because she slanted her hand up a few degrees) she was about 6 inches taller than him.

“It’s those damned heels you’ve always got on! And don’t think for a minute that I didn’t see that little upwards motion! You little chit!”

“You’re wearing boots too so we’re even! And I can’t believe you just called me that!”

“Believe it sweetheart! Now deal!” He commanded throwing the deck at her.

*****************************************************************

When he arrived at Sunnydale Airport he was immediately crushed into a rib cracking hug.

“Giles! How was England? Great huh? Bet you can’t wait to get back there and leave me all your earthly possessions! Oh look! A ticket booth! And they sell tickets, English tickets which you may purchase!”

“Anya, leave Giles alone. He’s just gotten back from a long trip and I bet he wants to go home and relax.” Xander scolded.

“Well I know she’s alright. What’s the matter with you?” Giles smiled ruffling the younger man’s sandy brown hair.

*******************************************************************

“Rummy on the board!” She wailed grabbing at the discard pile.

His hand quickly went to stop her.

“Now wait a minute, wait a minute! Where?” He said staring down at the mess of cards.

“You put down a 10 and I already have the other three.” She explained.

His eyes quickly scanned the cards as he realized his mistake.

“Damn-it!” He cried in defeat.

She placed the 10 with her other three and proceeded to draw a card from the deck. She took a moment and carefully discarded.

His crystal blue depths lit up as he picked up the entire deck.

“Let’s see. I’ve got three 5’s, a 10, jack, and queen of spades… Oh and lookey there all the kings!” He sparked.

He discarded a 2 and then Dawn was the one smiling.

“You also have a ton of cards in your hand. And I, on the other hand have got just two more 2’s, so…” She picked up his discard. “I’m out.” She said placing all her 2’s in a neat row.

“Oh, Bollicks!” He said throwing his hand down.

“Now let’s see 10,20, plus all four aces makes 90,100,110,120,125,135,140,” She gloated.

“I hate you!” He said looking at her with disgust.

“235,240,245...” She looked over at him slowly.

She could tell what he was about to do.

“No! Spike! No!” She managed to get out before being tickled senseless.

********************************************************************

Her brow furrowed and her head was busting. She’d been working on the robot all day and she’d only managed to irreversibly screw her up. She’d tried. She really had. She didn’t expect for this to happen. Giles, Xander, and Anya all came through the door in a rush talking excitedly about Giles’ trip to England.

“Knock knock! Who’s there? Witch. Witch who? Witch way are you going?” The bot asked no one.

“Um, Willow?” Xander gave her a look of confusion.

“I know, I know. I’ve been trying to make her pun and quip and it’s just not working right. It ends up like this. On the other hand I did get the homing device to work!” She tried to sound up-beat.

“Don’t worry Will. I bet you’ll have it fixed in no time.”

~*ONE WEEK LATER*~

“Knock knock! Who’s there? Dick. Dick who? Dick’s up for it how about yo--”

“Stop! I forbid you to finish the rest of that sentence!” Giles said grabbing his glasses off his face.

“Sorry Giles! I tried to fix her last night and her programming from before is mixing with what I put in so now she’s just telling naughty knock knock jokes!”

“Yes, I can see that Willow.”

“Maybe if I…”

“No, no. I’m going to fix it.” He said determined.

He grabbed the laptop from the desk of the Magic Box, plugged it into the bot, and opened it up.

“Now where is the bloody start button on this infernal machine?” He said pushing every key in sight.

“Giles you might not wanna,”

The computer made a weird ackhecckkkaahwwtt sound before a number of error warnings began to pop up on the screen.

“Do that.” Willow finished.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


An hour later Xander and Dawn came through the door with a ring of the shop bells.

“Hey Will!” Xander greeted.

“Hey.” She replied without her usual enthusiasm.

Tara walked behind her putting her hands over Willow’s eyes.

“Take a break.” She commanded with a kiss.

“Still trying to debug the Buffybot?” Dawn asked.

“Actually, I’m just trying to save my computer at the moment. Giles got all determined, then all button-happy, and then my computer crashed.” She answered.

“Giles actually touched a computer? He sat down and willingly interacted with technology?” Dawn asked amazed.

“Yes, it was very eventful and productive!” Anya practically yelled.

Xander smiled at his secret fiancée. “I don’t think he can hear you honey, so you can drop the act.”

She didn’t hear a word of what he’d said. She was much more interested in a customer who had just wandered into the more ritzy section of spell books.

“Hello! Can I help you?” She charmed.

“Um, Willow? No pressure but, uh, parent teacher day is like next week.” Dawn told her nervously.

“Already? But it’s only 2 weeks into school!”

“It’s always the third week.” Dawn whined.

“You’re too old to be having parent teacher days anyway! You didn’t see us having them.”

Off of Xander’s look she corrected herself.

“Except for that one time when we did. But, see what a disaster that was! Spike came and everybody went all crazy with the running and getting trapped inside the building! I got stuck with Cordelia for like 10 hours! They’re unsafe and they shouldn’t have them!”

“It’s in the daytime so I doubt Spike or any other vampire is going to crash it.” Dawn reasoned.

“3 weeks…,” Willow shook her head in defeat. “I’m not gonna be able to fix it by then. I might not be able to fix it ever! She’ll go there telling all kinds of sexual jokes and they’ll call social services and they’ll take her away from us!”

“Sweetie, calm down. You’ll fix it. I know you can.” Tara assured her.

**********************************************************************

The clock read 4:27 A.M. She’d spent the past two days wracking her brain for a way to stop this knock knock madness and it just came to her. She had given up her search for the cure and had opted instead for chocolate ice-cream, the notion of sleep being long forgotten. She was watching an old sci-fi movie about this race of IBM’s that somehow went bad. The only way to stop them was to shut down the main computer.

“I have to shut her down!” She shouted in triumph.

*********************************************************************

“Shut her down?” Giles said in confusion.

“Yeah.” She confirmed.

“You’ve lost me. I thought you’d already done that.”

“I shut down her learning center. I never shut her down completely. That would get rid of most of her memory, or her learned skills, since her initial programming.” She explained.

“So you’re saying that you’re making her the way she was before?” Xander asked trying to grasp the situation.

“Well, what if she just goes all rampant and tries to boink Spike again?” Anya questioned.

“I’ve erased all of that stuff permanently so that can’t come back. It’s kinda like she’s going back to a preschool level. She’ll know who we all are, but she won’t have any feeling toward us.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a new day rising
I’m a brand new sky
To hang the stars upon tonight
I am a little divided
Do I stay or run away
And leave it all behind
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


“Who’s idea was it to celebrate with a patrol?” Xander questioned.

“That would be you, sweetie.” Anya answered.

“Well next time would you tell me to shut his big mouth!?” He continued.

Giles was carefully laying out the battle plans.

“Alright, now remember, we must extinguish the life force of every vampire in this building or it will be…”

“The end of the world!” They all said in union.

“Yes, right.” He said adjusting his glasses.

“You know if you think about it this is the easiest apocalypses we’ve ever stopped. It’s actually kinda weak. Can we even count this as an apocalypse? I mean really this is just an average dustfest.” Xander babbled as they made their way to on of the larger crypts.

“Well we haven’t beaten them yet so don’t sound so sure of yourself. We may have faced worse, but that doesn’t mean that we’ll come out of this alright.” Giles warned.

“Oh c’mon gramps you know we’re gonna win. It’s gonna be a bloody massacre it is.” Spike reveled.

******************************************************************

“We give ourselves to the Anunmasah. We are meaningless. Through Anunmasah only are we strong.” The leader started.

The crypt doors swung off their hinges and seven figures stood in the arch between them and the soon to be dusty.

“Sorry to bust in on your little party, but we didn’t think you’d mind much.” Spike teased teased grabbing a quill and firing his crossbow at the nearest vamp.

“Yeah, frankly we’re a little pissed that we weren’t invited in the first place.” Xander quipped.

“Time for things to get dusty!” The bot said in her over-enthusiastic way.

“The Slayer! Run!” The leader cowered running for the entrance and being quickly reduced to ash.

There were only twenty or so vamps to begin with, and now, after only a couple of minutes, four remained.

Her stake struck hard and true into the brawly vampire’s heart. Tara brushed herself off and continued. Okay, so only three remained! The three stooges headed to the opposite end of the crypt. They somehow managed to claw their way out of a small stained glass window, and began to run like the cowards they were.

The gang was hot on they’re heels though. Spike and Xander, having no trouble crawling through the broken window, had maintained a visual on them and were working a silent plan as they followed.

“Damn!” Xander cursed batting at something on his back.

Spike gave a look of confusion that soon turned into amusement as he realized Xander’s predicament.

“Run out of arrows?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Xander spat

“Take mine.” Spike said tossing his bow and quills at the boy.

“Where are you going?” Xander asked.

“Just gonna finish up this little spot of violence.” He smirked.

***********************************************************

He could smell one. It wasn’t far away, but he couldn’t see it thanks to Harris and his incessant whining about his arrows. He’d just have to follow his senses to the very large vamp.

The three came to a stop when they intersected.

“What are yo-... Um?” Tara, Giles, and Spike said in union.

“This way.” Spike motioned.

Tara reached her hand into a small leather bag gripping the white powder.

Spike and Giles were already fighting, trying to bring down the massive vampire.

“Dortominas.” She said blowing the dust in the monster’s face.

With no warning the vamp threw both Giles and Spike off him and ran for all he (thought) he was worth.

“Whoops!” Tara apologized when both men looked up at her.
****************************************************************

Okay. She could do this. Climbing wasn’t that bad. No, she could do it.

“Ow!” She wailed as her footing was lost for a moment making her knock into the side of the building.

No, she couldn’t do this…. Wow! She did!

She was on top of the mausoleum and in full view of the cemetery. A couple of vamps were ready to jump Xander and Anya.

****************************************************************

They’d caught up with big, fat, and ugly, but dusting him was proving to be a another problem.

He’d nearly knocked Spike’s head off. He ducked and showers of graphite from a broken tombstone poured over him. Just enough time for Hudini to get away. And here they were running again. Whatever was in that magic powder of Glinda’s had made him super fast and damn-near impossible to bring down.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s times like these you learn to live again
It’s times like these you give and give again
It’s times like these you learn to love again
It’s times like these time and time again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~*THE END*~

Author’s Note: Wow I’m finally done! I’ve spent 2 and ½ years writing this story and now it’s done! I know this chapter really wasn’t that sensational, but there really wasn’t much left to cover. I hope you got some enjoyment out of it. I tried to put some humor in this one so they wouldn’t all be full of angst. Hope it was funny. The ending is a little weird because I wanted it to start and leave of with the show. Mortal Wounds started right after Joss’ name came up in The Gift and Talk Soup ends just before the opening scene of Bargaining Pt. 1. I’ve poured lot’s of my life and my time into this. This is what started me. This is my first fic, it all started with Mortal Wounds a story I wrote and revised more than 15 times. I’m so thankful to everyone who has taken the time to tell me how you feel about the series! Feedback is what keeps me writing. It’s good to know that someone is reading and enjoying a part of yourself. I love you all. Best of luck in everything you do. Hopefully I can stop crying now and finish my other series called Good Enough! Never stop imagining, that’s the key to youth.





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