Chapter 18: The talk
Buffy and Spike sat on the bed for what seemed like hours. He held on to her waist, not willing to loose contact. She seemed content enough to let him hold her for a while until her butt started to lose feeling. She wiggled around, trying to find a more comfortable position. Spike just held on to her tighter, letting her feel what her wiggling has done to him. “Spike, please, I can’t feel my ass anymore,” she whined.

“Not ready to let go. Isn’t it time for that talk you were talking about, luv?” He raised his eyebrow.

“Let me go and sit next to you.” She wiggled again and Spike let out a warning growl. “Fine, but if I pee my pants because I can’t feel, don’t yell at me.” Spike gasped at her outrageous comment and let her go. Buffy got up and stood in front of him. “OK, the talk?” Spike nodded. “Let’s start with you, OK?” Spike didn’t like the sound of where this was going. “Where have you been?”

“’ere and there, kitten. Come ‘ere, luv, you promised to sit next to me.” He patted the bed next to him.

“I will, soon. My ass is numb, got to get it un-numbed. Where is here and where is there?” She started to pace in front of him, trying to wake up her behind. Spike rolled his eyes and gave up.

“You know, kitten, I can wake that cute behind up if you come back over here.” He patted his leg and snickered.

“I am sure you could, and maybe you will, but you are changing the subject. Now… the question at hand is where were you?”

“Oh hell, luv. I was everywhere. You name it, I probably was there.” He realized his tactics weren’t working.

“Specifically, where were you when you left Sunnydale. I looked everywhere. I followed any lead. It was like you fell off the face of the earth.”

“I kind of did there, luv.” She arched her eyebrow like him. “At first I went to Africa, and then I bummed around Europe for a bit. About two years ago, I came back to the states. New York, Las Vegas, New Orleans. You know some of the big cities.” Spike shrugged.

Buffy finally had feeling back in her backside and sat next to Spike on the bed. She wanted to reach for him, but didn’t. “Why did you go to Africa?”

“Ahh, pet. I know I have to tell you, but you maybe mad.”

“You got the chip out?” No malice was in her voice or face. Just worry.

“Yeah, kitten.” He looked into her eyes. “The chip is out.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“And why haven’t you gone back to your old ways?” Spike was shocked that Buffy could tell he didn’t go back.

“Luv, if you don’t know that yet, then we are hopeless.” Spike got up to pace.

“Spike, I didn’t mean it that way. You never came back. If you didn’t go back to biting for me, why didn’t you come back to me?” She got up in his path.

“Cor, Slayer. What I did… it was horrible. At that moment, I was everything you said I was. Evil, disgusting, a monster.” She shook her head no. “Yes, I was. I didn’t go there to do that, but I did.”

“Spike, I told you this last night, you didn’t do anything by yourself.”

“Slayer.” He growled a warning.

“I told you, you stupid vampire, do not call me that. You weren’t alone in that abandoned building, you weren’t alone at the DMP, you weren’t alone in your crypt, and you certainly were not alone in the BATHROOM! OK? We both have parts that we played in there and I will not have you take all the blame. It belongs on both of us. Maybe if I wasn’t so scared to tell my friends about us it wouldn’t have gone that way. Or maybe if I had enough courage to tell you what I was thinking back then, we would have worked it out. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. But I have accepted it, why can’t you?”

“Luv, kitten. No, I can’t. If you hadn’t stopped me…” Spike sobbed. Buffy came up in front of him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He leaned in for comfort as she rubbed his back. After a while his sobs stopped and he pulled away. “I shouldn’t have come ‘ere.”

“Now who is running away? Spike, hello.” She spread her arms out. “I’m here. I’m willing. Or don’t you want me?”

“Oh kitten, don’t ever say stuff like that. Of course I want you. Always want.” He came forward to wrap his arms around her protectively.

“Or is it you don’t love me?” She whispered. Spike tightened his hold, almost to pain.

“Don’t,” kiss on the head, “Ever,” another kiss, “Think,” A longer kiss, “That.” He moved his lips down her head to her lips. Slowly he moved his expert lips across her mouth, showing her how much love he had. “I will always love you, Buffy. But ‘ow can we move on?” Buffy pushed away from Spike just a little to look up into his eyes.

“I think we are doing fine. We are talking. We are touching. That is what matters.” She leaned in a little and brushed her mouth against his. “Spike, I was afraid that when I saw you again, I would be disgusted. But when you stepped out from behind that corner, all I could think of was that you were here, that we had another chance.” Spike nodded. “Spike, I know what we’ve been through. But if we just talk it out when it comes up, we will be OK? Are you willing to try?”

Spike nodded. “Buffy, luv, there is something else you need to know.”

“What is that?” She wound her arms around his torso, happy that he wants to work things out.

“While I ‘as being de-chipped, I kind of also gained something.” He hugged her fiercely.

“What’s that, big bad?” She kissed his chest, “A soul?” He stopped squeezing at her correct guess. “Oh my god, you got a soul? How?” She stepped back.

“’twas part of the process, I guess. I don’t know. I certainly didn’t bloody ask ‘or it. They jus’ gave it to me, like a booby prize.”

Buffy crossed her arms on her chest. “A soul is not a booby prize.” He leered at her chest as she said it.

“OK, kitten. How about giving me my own booby prize then.” Spike grabbed her waist and brought his head even with her chest. She mocked struggled against him and brought her hands to his shoulders as he nuzzled her breasts.

“Spike, are you serious?” Spike nodded into her breasts, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Spike looked up while still rubbing his face in her chest, “Don’t know, pet. I wanted to, but something told me to wait.”

“Oh, Spike. I lo… can’t believe you got a soul.” She stopped herself. She was not ready to tell him that she loved him. Spike caught her little hesitation and let it go. If those words were so close to the surface, it was just a matter of time that she wouldn’t hesitate.

He stood up, still holding on to her waist, “So, kitten. I have heard you’ve been a busy beaver. What did you do on your summer vacation?”

“Oh, a little of this and a little of that.” She said coyly. Walking over to the bed.

“Well, let me tell you what I heard and you can fill in. Ok?” He walked over to sit beside her and take her hand into his. “You trained a slayer. Very good, if I do say so myself. She new who I was, too.” Buffy giggled. “And you left your friends to go on your own soul searching. Ended up writing a few travel articles for some magazine. They hired you and you settled in the great state of New York.” She nodded and he continued, “But you didn’t stay long. Move to Colorado. Isn’t that it?” She nodded again. “Stayed a couple years and then moved here where you befriended an old coot with lots of money and ungrateful kin?”

“Yeap, in a nut shell. Now, I work part time at writing and full time at the ‘Forrest.”

“What do you do there?”

“A little of this, a little of that.” Spike gave a warning growl at her mock of him. “I manage the back operations of the club while Sam manages the front. He takes care of the staff and ordering. Everything else I pick up. When we are short staffed, I fill in.”

“And the hotel?”

“I am strictly hands off. I hired a management team. I don’t know a lot of the hotel business, but I know night clubs. All that time I spent at the Bronze ended up coming in handy.” She smiled and he nodded. He gently pushed her back on to the bed until she was lying down. Slowly, he ran his hands from her waist to her shoulders, caressing her through her shirt. He ran his hands down to her arms, tickling the soft skin near her elbow down to her wrist. He brought his hands back to her hips and moved them under her shirt. He moved his right hand towards her belly button.

“Well, what do we have ‘ere? A belly ring.” He flicked the ring with his long index finger causing her to gasp. “Very interesting. This wasn’t ‘ere before.” He brought his mouth up to hers and coaxed her tongue out to play with his. Gently, have flicked the ring with his fingers as he parried and thrust with her tongue. He moved his other hand to the side of her head to touch her hair.

Buffy pulled away and gasped, “Spike, please stop,” he looked up in surprise. “If you play with my belly ring anymore, you are really going to make me purr… loudly.” He moved his hand away and sat up, startled. “Not that I don’t want to, it’s just Dawn is right downstairs and she already made a trip up here once.” Spike nodded but looked away.

“Sorry, pet, for making you uncomfortable.” He looked down at the bed spread.

“Spike, listen. It’s ok. Just not ready right now.”

“I know, pet. I just went too quickly.” He looked away, refusing to meet her eyes. She said no, and he almost didn’t hear her again.

“Come here, Spike.” She grabbed his head and kissed his mouth passionately. “I will tell you if I am uncomfortable. And trust me, that wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, I am really comfortable,” she wiggled her butt next to him. He growled and lifted her up unto his lap. “Nut uh, got to fix dinner.” She wiggled her finger in front of him.

“I do believe this flap jack is ready to be flipped.” He grabbed her waist and twisted to she would land underneath him. Buffy squealed and tried to get away from his roaming hands, but she couldn’t evade them. “Kitten, purr for me,” he demanded as he ran his hands down her ribs towards her belly button.

“Nope, not going to. Got to make dinner.” She twisted her way out from underneath him and headed to the door. “Come down and keep me company, the front of the house should be OK for you.”

“Oi, Slayer. Already downstairs, remember?”

“Yeah, Mr. Know-it-all, but the sun position changed.” She stuck her tongue out and ran down the steps. He followed immediately trying to catch her. He almost ran into the kitchen after her, but the sun rays stopped him.

“Damn windows,” Spike muttered as he sat down at the dining room table.





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