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Chapter 6: Not so much confessions
Right after sunset, Spike strolled up to the door to the Magic Box. The last time he was there, his heart was ripped to shreds as she walked away from him. He knew he hurt her, but she acted like he wasn’t even worth it enough to punch. He stopped right before the door, took a deep breath, and reached for the doorknob. As he walked in, Spike noticed two things the place hadn’t changed much and the only person in the building was the heavily armed watcher.

“Why are you here,” Giles questioned softly while looking at the haggard vampire. He stood with an armed crossbow aimed straight at Spike’s heart.

“When?” Was the only answer.

“When what?” Giles asked as Spike moved closer. Giles raised a water gun filled with Holy Water as a warning.

“When did she…when the new one come?” Spike looked pleading into the watcher’s eyes looking for the grief in the watcher’s eyes that he felt.

“Four years ago,” Giles answered. “Why are you here, Spike? Wanting to get revenge on us?” He lowered his weapons a tad.

“What?” Spike vamped out “You, you think I want to hurt you? Is that why you are armed to the max?” Spike took a step away. He wasn’t here to fight or cause trouble, just to find out what happened.

“Actually, I have no idea. That is why I am armed. I know about your relationship with Buffy and what you did with Anya. Then you just walk away. You haven’t been here in six years. I have no idea if the chip is work…” At that, Spike grabbed Giles.

“You want to know about the soddin chip do you, see if I’m still nuertered.” Spike sneered. Giles nodded, knowing that Spike could kill him, but not moving to aim his weapons at him. “Well, if it still was in here,” he let go of Giles and raised his long finger to his temple, “I wouldn’t have been able to grab you. But that is not what I’m here for.” Spike stepped away and reached for his cigarettes and lighter.

“Why are you here,” the watcher repeated as he stood realizing that Spike heard there was one slayer and therefore thinks that Buffy is dead. Of course, that probably would be a good idea. If he thought Buffy was dead, then maybe he would leave and not cause trouble.

“I didn’t save her,” Spike quietly answered. “I promised her I would be there when she needed me, and I left. I didn’t save her from that bloody gang of hellions. I should have been there, no matter what, I should have been there.” Spiked looked away as his emotions pressed into his eyes and he started to cry.

“What do you want?” Giles took pity on the vampire. He was grieving for his lost love, not knowing that she wasn’t dead. But Giles certainly wasn’t going to correct him.

“What do I want?” Spike scoffed at Gile’s nod. “I want to be with the woman I love, but any chance of that is gone. Gone a long time ago. I want to know how? Why? Did she get to say goodbye?” Spiked hazard a glance at the watcher, regretting his action when he saw pity in his eyes.

“Alrighty, why don’t you sit down?” Giles let go of his weapon and sat down in a chair. Spike sighed and sat across from him. Giles recounted the demise of Faith, without mentioning names. He was telling Spike about the slayer that died by the hand of that demon gang. That’s what Spike wanted, asked for. Spike even mentioned the gang earlier. Giles wasn’t lying, just talking about two different people. Ok, he was lying by omission, but what was Giles supposed to do? Tell Spike that Buffy was rich and living in Hawaii?

“What happened to the gang of hellions?” Spike growled.

“We took care of them. They can’t hurt anyone else.” Giles said truthfully. He didn’t mention that Buffy actually hunted every last one of the gang for months until each met with their maker. Spike got up and started to pace. His mind was racing with thoughts. Why would his slayer let a stupid bloody gang of demons get to her.

“What about the Bit?” He asked suddenly while he whipped around.

“She is fine. More than fine. She is going to graduate early from school,” Giles slowly stood up and looked deep into Spike’s eyes. “But she made it clear she didn’t want to see you.” Spike didn’t look surprised. His emotions were indescribable. Grief, pain, love, friendship all passed through his eyes as he stood there. Spike nodded. “I never got to say goodbye to her last time, could you give her a message?” Giles nodded in agreement. “Tell her I’m staying at the hotel on 83, room 5. If she wants to talk or whatever, I’ll be there for the next three days.” Spike looked down at the floor. He had to do something things before he left. “One more thing, Watcher, where is she?”

Giles look like a deer in the headlights. Hawaii, but if he said that, Spike would have known she really wasn’t dead. Quick to come up with something, he stated “Umm, there is no burial site.” Spike nodded content with the answer. Spike got up from the table and started towards the door and then suddenly stopped.

“Rupert, for what it is worth, I’m sorry. I wish I could have prevented it.” Spike took the last step outside without looking back. Time to go for a walk and think.





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